A Chance Encounter
by Carriej56
Summary: A.U. story. What if Ana is a Scottish village girl living in a big city, when a chance encounter with an American in a pub turns her world upside down. Will love be enough to keep Christian and Ana together despite the distance? Disclaimer: Fifty Shades belongs to E.L. James.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok so ive never done anything like this before so go easy on me! I love 50 shades but do not own any of the characters they all belong to E. . Here goes nothing!**

**Updated 11th January 13**

* * *

OMG what have I just gone and done? I'm beginning to question my own sanity!

"OK Calm down Ana there IS a get out clause... I just don't want to use it..." Oh great now im standing talking to myself I must look like a complete nutter, *crossing my fingers* I hope no one saw me! Oh crap he's looking right at me, no he's coming over, I feel a little faint...

"Ana?" I hear him just before the room goes dark.

* * *

I suppose I should tell you who I am and what is going on eh? Well my name is Anastasia Steele, (all my friends call me Ana) I'm a from a small village in Scotland, I lived with my mum and dad till I was 17 then I went to Glasgow to University to get an English degree. I want to go into publishing or at least I did when I started my course, now I'm not so sure. Jobs in publishing are scarce right now, but I could try to get in to journalism like my best friend. Speaking of my best friend, we live together and Miss Katherine Kavanaugh is my best friend in the entire universe! She is more like a sister to me, We grew up together and always planned our future out. We always hoped that we would meet brothers settle down and get married and have babies at the same time and at least one of each gender(babies are more of Kate's thing I'm not so into them if I'm honest) Kate like I said is going to be a journalist, she doesn't want to work for the tabloids she's got her heart set on a broadsheet (she has a life plan), marriage, 2 kids and a big house in London! Kate's parents got us a flat together (she's minted, her dad is big in media and her mum does something in PR) its HUGE! I love it, we often have Kate's brother Ethan stay with us, he's a great guy, Kate still hopes we will fall in love and live happily ever after, but no, he's not my type, not that I know what my type is per say, but it's not Ethan! I have never dated, not because I haven't been asked, but no one has caught my eye, I think im missing something in my genetic code that makes me attract nice guys I seem to only ever get sleezed on. It could be because I always go out on the town with the stunning Kate Kavanagh!

Anyway here I an waffling on when you want to know what I fainted for! Well you see it all started because of Kate's most recent disastrous relationship! Poor Kate although beautiful her taste in men sucks! Andrew, the most recent one (ugh!) was a right git! Kate would not hear reason when it came to him, until the night he sleezed his way onto me! (I still shudder at the thought of him!) His hands on my body, I slapped the bastard hard across the face. He tried and failed to pin me and have his wicked way so I kneed him in the bollocks. Stupid git tried to make out that I'd come on to him and said that when he'd refused me (as if I'd give that plum the time of day!) I'd gone mental and attacked him! Thank God Kate wasn't born yesterday and could see through the scumbags lies!

Poor Kate, single again. She doesn't handle breakups well, she never has. I have always been there to help her through it. We have a plan, a wee ritual that is performed after every break up. There is a formula to follow, we need Ice Cream, Fluffy PJ's a pile of chick flicks that must include Bridget Jones's Diary and Titanic and if it's particularly bad we need Pride and Prejudice (the bit where Colin Firth comes out of the water...mmmmmmmm!), that's phase one! Phase two is there are plenty more fish in the sea let's go out and have fun! Kate gets plastered, I stay sober to stop her from making the mistake of calling Andrew or whoever and ranting at him for hours down the phone, or she has even called a taxi to go round and see an ex for a showdown, that one was messy! (He needed stitches, I probably shouldn't have hit him)... We go home, Shes hung over but feels better and life goes back to normal... USUALLY! Not this time though, oh no, not this time!

Phase one is complete, we are heading into phase two, we are in the pub chatting to the barman, he's become a bit of a mate, he knows the plan and often slips Kate doubles! I think he fancies her but is playing the long game (silly boy, if he asked she'd say yes she always does!) I confiscated her phone when we came in. I know Andrew has been texting her and unless he wants his manhood permanently out of action he better stay away! We are sitting chatting and we sit over at a table. I get the first round in. Vodka for Kate and what the hell, I'll have a rum and coke! We sit putting the world to rights and slagging of every bloke that has ever sleezed his way onto either of us. We move to round two quickly, talking about how no man will ever be good enough, Kate is laughing at me and I'm laughing at her we nearly fall off our seats when the door opens and OH MY GOD, the most handsome man I've ever seen walks in...

**Ok so it's a short chapter but let me know what you think, I have a vague idea where im taking this I hope you like it x**

**CarrieJ**


	2. Mr Mysterious

**A/N: Characters belong to E.L James.**

**This chapter was hard to write as I don't want to rush them getting together I want Ana to be attracted to men not just Christian if that makes sense. My story is a slow burner but more will become clear along the way! Thankyou for the reviews so far and all the follows, I am on Facebook as Carriej Fanfic come and find me! :)**

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So where was I? Oh yeah Kate was tipsy and this guy walked in...

"Wow..." Kate breathed not so subtly.

"Kate! No men tonight! Remember the plan?" Fuck she was soooo going to hit on him, poor guy was gonna be a knee jerk reaction to her breakup. I shouldnt let her do this but, well Kate is Kate! Beautiful but bloody stubborn! I looked over at Mr Mysterious, every woman in the bar was fawning over him, tall, well-built, even I had to admit he was attractive, if you liked that kind of thing! Kate made a beeline for him dragging me along, i don't quite know why it's not as if she needs the moral support! As we got near him he looked up, his eyes locked into mine unnerving me momentarily, I raised my eyebrows at him, he quickly looked away toward Kate.

"Good evening ladies can I get you a drink?" a smooth american accent left his lips. Ok so maybe this guy could get to me. NO what am I thinking?! I don't date. I've never dated! That is an unnerving thought, are my standards really that high? He IS good looking though... God im getting sidetracked inside my head again he only offered me sorry us a drink and, SHIT im doing a bloody goldfish impersonation!

"Yeah please, I'll have a vodka and red bull and a coke for Ana, oh im Katherine by the way"

Could she have flirted more if shed tried? Calm down you're not interested remember?! Your high standards and everything... Stop talking to yourself...

"Pleasure to make your acquaintances Ana, Katherine" he said as he kissed the back of our hands. My heart quickened at the touch, oh god I need to talk to Kate!

"Kate can I have a word?" "Now?" "No Kate next bloody week! Of course now, in the ladies"

I drag her to the toilets at the back of the pub, they are small and smell of cleaning chemicals yet somehow still feel dirty, how is that even possible? We squeeze in front of the two sinks, trying to stay away from the cubicles, we made a note when we started coming here that the only toilet safe for you to use in here is the one upstairs in Jimmy the landlords flat!

"OMG He's gorgeous, i know your helping me get over Andrew and that the two-phase plan always works but I'm going home with him tonight! I think I'm in love!" She gushed at me.

SHIT!

"Erm Kate I was just gonna say be careful, I know you! I can see the glint in your eye!"

I couldn't do it Kate needs this I have a passing attraction to him. Hell I don't even know his name!

We head back into the bar, Jimmy is standing lord of all he sees. He calls us over and gives us our drinks but the mysterious stranger is gone!

"Hey Jimmy where did that bloke go?"

"He said to apologise to you both he had to go and meet his brother at the airport, he said he'll see you both here tomorrow night at 7"

"Cheeky bugger, how dare he assume we'd want anything to do with him?! He only bought us a drink for fuck sake!"

"Jeez Ana take a chill pill babe! He's bloody fit and hell yeah i'll be here tomorrow, phase two will be complete by then" She has the cheek to wink at me then order us a round of shots. Three tequilla shots later and Kate is wrecked! Time to call it a night before I get drunk too, that would not be a pretty sight for anyone! I practically carry Kate out the door shouting bye to Jimmy as we leave, he knowingly chuckles, he's seen phase two sooooooo many times now!

"Kate? Kate! You need to help me a little here, come on Kate! KATE!" "What?" She mumbles almost incoherently, I swear if she was not my best mate I would dump her at the side of the street for the police to bring home! By now I'm dragging her up our street towards our block. I hear footsteps behind me, oh crap someone is following us, I try to hurry Kate on but she's so inebriated that it's nearly impossible to keep her walking let alone running! The footsteps are getting louder and closer, I can feel the hair-raising on the back of my neck, my worst fears of city living are about to come true, im gonna get attacked, I know it! I stop, embracing the inevitable. The figure keeps on walking one of these days I'll learn not to overreact, it's the small town girl in me, I see threats everywhere!

I drag Kate into the close and fumble for the keys, I get the door open and pull her in. I drop her by the front door as im exhausted, I'm not a bloody strong woman and Miss Kavanagh is not exactly light! I strip off and climb into my flannelette PJ's and coorie up under my duvet. I can't sleep though all I can think of is those eyes haunting me.

* * *

Its soooooo unfair Kate is still beautiful its 11am im just up and I look like im the one that's been drinking and Kate looks like she's just stepped out of the pages of Elle. Hmph!

"Morning sleepy head!" she trills. Seriously? She was so pissed she slept on the door mat!

"Yeah morning Kate, did you like the hall floor it obviously agreed with you?" I laughingly reply.

"I slept really really well! I obviously slept in my bed, thanks for helping me in there it was sooooo good of you!" her voice is laden with sarcasm.

"Well maybe if you hadn't had 3 vodkas and 3 shots and whatever else you had, and Miss Kavanagh and I know you had more than that, I wouldn't had to have carried you home! Putting you to bed was not part of the deal!" I answer honestly

"Fair enough Ana! You're a star as usual! So are we going to meet Mr Downright Handsome tonight?" She asks innocently, she already knows ill go with her, so I decide to have fun

"Oh I don't think its a good idea Kate. I'm not going" I try to make it sound sincere, I don't think she bought it though.

"Come off it Steele! You liked him as much as me! If he has a brother all I can say is wow!" yep she sees through me every time!

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The day drags, I keep looking at the clock, they say time flies when you're having fun, yeah right that person never got dragged up Sauchiehall Street by Katherine Kavanagh on a mission! First we hit Primark, then New Look, but nothing hits Kate's standards. Then we go into Next, it's the most expensive place I can afford, we find some lovely stuff but nothing seems quite right. While we're outside we go to Boots for all the essentials, apparently I need new, well everything! So now ive sat with Joyce the make-up artist for an hour and look well, sexy! I have a new confidence, all for some random bloke?! I really need my head read! We head int the shopping centre to Debenhams and I see all these gorgeous dresses but one catches my eye its peach and floaty with sequins sprinkled in the skirt it has a cute wee handbag to match, I want it but oh god it's too expensive. Kate sees the dress and insists I try it on.

"Get in that damn cubicle and put it on before I drag you in there by your hair Anastasia Steele!" she's got that determined glint in her eye, the one I know not to mess with so I grab the dress and run to the changing room.

"Kate? I need your opinion" I shout from behind my curtain, I havent dared look in the mirror I need Kate's reaction first. I hear her charging up the aisle she rips back the black curtain.

"WOW! Oh Ana you look HOT! I'm getting you this dress as an early christmas present and don't bother arguing you know I'll get it for you whatever you say!" She slowly turns me around to face the dreaded mirror. OMG even I'm shocked at what I see! My pasty white legs look almost pearlescent against the warm peachy fabric that skims them to above the knee, the gathers of the dress around my waist make me look even slimmer than I am, the neckline enhances my ample bosom without putting it all on public display. Kate pulls the bobble from my hair and arranges my long brown locks to frame my demure but sexy (Thank you Joyce the Boots lady!) face. I'm ready for our night out now!

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Its 6.50 we've had dinner, it was my famous spicy chicken salad, I ate almost half but im too excited about tonight, Oh god Im soooooooooooo nervous, can you tell? Kate is the definitive lady in red this evening wearing a sleek post box red one shoulder dress it hugs her EVERYWHERE! With a beautiful beaded shawl that looks antique, and knowing Kate it probably is!

"Kate you look fab!" I smiled at her.

"Well I had to do something to keep up with you didn't I? I can't have you pulling all the men!" She grinned and giggled back.

"Right I think we should head out it'll take me forever to get there in these shoes!" I say. I don't know how she talked me into 4 inch stiletto heels, they are surprisingly comfortable even though I look like Bambi on ice when I try to walk!

" OK let's go!" she agrees enthusiastically

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By the time we walk to the pub its 7.05 and ive only nearly fallen once! I'm so proud! We walk in and oh my heart flutters he's there with another man, I can't see his companion as we walk over he has his back to us, Kate glides over to the table an takes a seat, I however manage to trip and almost fall to the ground before im caught by Mr Mysterious's friend.

"Wow" is all I manage to say not thank you, my mother would be so disappointed! I feel his glorious Grey eyes pierce through mine straight into my soul.

"You must be Ana. I'm pleased to meet you." HIs accent was like warm fudge sauce it seeped into me and I wanted more.

"You have me at a bit of a disadvantage here" I replied from his embrace hovering above the floor.

"Oh! Of course how rude of me!" He replied helping me to my feet, then keeping hold till I sat at the table.

"Ana, this is Elliot and his younger brother Christian. Elliot, Christian this is my best friend Anastasia" Oh my saviour had a name!

Christian...

**Hope you enjoyed chapter 2**

**I hope to update tomorrow but I'm writing it as I go so we'll see!**

**Thank you**

**Carriej x**


	3. First Contact!

**A/N: Characters belong to E.L James. I was struggling with where to go with this one I hope you like it. **

Oh wow! Christian is the most beautiful man I've ever seen let alone met! He looks like he should be doing some kinda Calvin Klein ad for aftershave, or underwear (If ive died and gone to heaven!). So here we are Kate and I sitting with two guys that would make even the hardest of women go weak at the knees with one grin, but it feels awkward. I mean what do we say? We've been here for five minutes and ive not uttered a word! Mind you neither have Christian or Elliot, Kate's playing rent-a-gob for everyone! Boy can that girl talk!

"Hey sis, gonna introduce me to your friends?" I almost break my neck whipping my head round to see Ethan striding towards us with, wow another hottie! I'm gonna buy a lotto ticket for the next draw, with this luck ill win the bloody jackpot, hell I think I already have!

"Ethan, you know Ana, and these two are Elliot and Christian they are from America. Should you not return the favour as I don't believe ive met..."

"Jose" the tall dark and handsome man says with a distinctive southern drawl. Oh yeah I've got all six numbers and the bloody bonus ball! Another yank! OK so now I know what my problem with men has been, im only attracted to americans, or so it seems! (Well apart from Dad's cousin Doris that's married to an American and he's a complete arse!)

So we are now enjoying an excruciatingly painful game of sardines around a tiny table in the pub, sitting in a deafeningly awkward silence. I glance down at my watch.

"Thank god" I mutter quietly, obviously not quietly enough as two pairs of eyes stare at me, "Erm what I mean is its, erm, 8.00 and ive got to go..." I look pointedly at Kate who is snuggled into Elliot whispering, successfully I might add, sweet nothings in his ear.

"Oh Ana, Chill will ya! It's a saturday night we are young, look at Ethan he's gone and pulled over there. I fancy a dance, come on Elliot! Oh and Ana you'd better still be here when I get back!" bugger it looks like im stuck here between the two glowering adonises. They have barely spoken to me and passed the odd plesentary to each other, this is gonna be a long night!

"Okay, you two if you don't start bloody talking im going home!" Well that gets their attention!

"Errr... So Ana, erm do you come here often?" OMG did he really just say that? Out loud?

"Do I really have to answer that?" I ask he actually nods?! "Yes Jose this is my local so I suppose I do come here quite a lot with Kate" give or take the few weekends I get to myself to read in peace while Kate is in love with whatever his name is this week. Of all the weird things to ask?

"Would you accompany me to dinner Anastasia?" Woah, I didn't see that one coming Jose looks ready to punch him! "I am staying at the Hilton" he adds, im sure he's just goading Jose now!

"Or you could come out to dinner with me Ana? if you want that is? I hope you don't mind but Ethan said I could stay on the couch of your apartment" Jose babbles at me quickly. Well this is news I have one Adonis sleeping on my couch and another in the Hilton, and they both want me? Wow

"Wow thankyou guys but neither of you owe me a pity date I'm fine."

"Excuse me? Pity date? I know we've just met but Ana your beautiful and I WANT to date you!" Jose exclaims. Christian goes back to his glowering at him, its amazing even though he looks really crabbit he's still gorgeous, im a bit gutted his was a pity date though.

"Erm yeah ok then where are we going?" I ask nervously

"Why don't we go to Gamba? Ethan recommended it to me earlier"Jose replies excitedly, Christian looks puzzled by the entire exchange, stands up shakes his head and leaves.

"Uh yeah I suppose so. When do you want to go?" I ask fearing his answer. Where did he go? I spot him watching me from across the room, his steel eyes locked into me, freezing me to the spot.

"How about now? I'll go tell Ethan!" He jumps up and bounds off.

OMG What have I just gone and done? I'm beginning to question my own sanity!

"OK Calm down Ana there IS a get out clause" I could go over and tell Kate he's dragging me off "I just don't want to use it..." or do I Christians gaze is unnerving me, Oh great now im standing talking to myself I must look like a complete nutter *crossing my fingers* I hope no one saw me! I bet Christian did! Oh crap he's looking right at me, oh no he's coming back over. I stand and suddenly I feel a little faint...

"Ana?" I hear him just before the room goes dark.

* * *

When I come to I'm in my flat? How did I get here? I have a quick scan round the room three sets of eyes stare at me.

"What?" No one says anything they shift their gaze guiltily away only then do I notice Christian and Jose are not here. "Where is Jose? and Christian?" I demand. Again no response. "Katherine Kavanagh If you do not tell me what the hell is going on im gonna go into the street and scream blue bloody murder till the police come!"

"They've just left" She murmurs back to me.

"What?"

"I'm so sorry Ana. He seemed really nice all the times I've met him at Uni" Ethan said and then shifted his eyes away from me, " I would never have let him near you if id have known" he frowns and looks dow looking decidedly guilty

"OK stop talking in riddles and just explain to me what happened. Where Christian and Jose are, and how the fuck I got here!" I state at my slightly dazed looking crowd. Before anyone can answer I catch a glimpse out the window, its daylight? how can it be daylight?. They look at me stunned, oh I must have thought that out loud then "SO?" I challenge them.

Kate comes over and sits beside me putting her arm gently round my shoulder. "Fuck!" I exclaim nearly jumping out the seat. "I guess I must have bashed that then eh?" Kate looks at me sadly and shakes her head.

"Ana, I don't know how to say this so im just gonna spit it out, You got spiked at the pub, someone slipped a date rape drug into your drink, that's why you fainted." Oh no there is more to this, my stomach has just dropped into my feet. I can feel every hair standing up on my legs and arms and im shaking, when did I start shaking? "When you fell there was a scuffle between Christian and Jose each accusing the other of spiking you, and well you may have been out of it but you got up and started fighting with them and, well you took a few blows from Jose telling you that you were nothing but a cheap lay and then Christian really kicked off. Jimmy called the police and advised us to get you home and let you sleep it off Elliot and Ethan carried you. God Ana im so sorry! I should never have left you alone with him!" That explains all the pain then!

"Ok so Jose spiked me? Fuck I had just agreed to leave with him! He must have known that id pass out though?" I just can't get my head around this! I don't date so obviously when I do he has to have something seriously wrong with him! Whilst Christian saved me twice in one night? Is he too good to be true too?

"Most girls don't pass out they just, well I don't know, Jimmy said you fainted coz you're so slim Ana! For once your weight worked to your advantage!" Kate tried to sound upbeat about it but I could hear how upset she was. Shit why can't I stop shaking it's really annoying!

"So where are they now? Were they arrested? "Is Christian ok?" I directed the last question at Elliot, who was sitting in a chair across from me, on his mobile talking animatedly at someone, I could only hear parts of what he was saying.

"Shes awake now... Kate...dinner...room...Fuck! cameras?that's..." He looked up at me. "Gotta go bro talk laters" He hung up. "Ana, Christian is fine, hes been released with a caution, Jose or should I say Jack has been charged and is being extradited back home as there are warrants out for his arrest. He's a serial rapist, You are one of the lucky ones!" Oh yeah im feeling so lucky! I wanna scream at him but I don't it wont help. "Christian will be here when he can get a cab"

"Oh that's good, I want to thank him" I yawn, how the hell can I be tired still? "What time is it?"

"11.30 you've been asleep for 14 hours!" Kate says "You hungry babe?"

"Yeah I am actually!" I reply surprised at myself.

"How about a bacon buttie and a cuppa?" she offers.

"Oh yeah decaf tea remember Kate!" I'm going through a phase of trying lots of different types of tea, ive tried earl grey, Assam, english breakfast, but nothing quite beats a good cup of good old Tetley decaf! Ethan sticks on the telly to see if there's anything good on to take my mind off things but I can't concentrate until I hear the news about the fight in the pub!

"At 8pm last night a fight broke out in a Glasgow pub between Christian Grey CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings and an other man alleged to be Jack Hyde. It is believed Mr Hyde had placed a date rape drug int Mr Grey's dates drink. There has been no statement from Mr Greys PR office." Okay that was weird why is it on the news? I look quizzically at Ethan he just shrugs his shoulders, I turn to find Elliot gone, no doubt in the kitchen with Kate! I'm so tired again I curl up, I can feel my eyelids drooping.

* * *

"Hey Anastasia" huh? am I dreaming? I feel someone sitting beside me so I force my eyes open. I'm on my bed now? When did I get here? It's not warm yet so not long...Hmmm

"Hey, I mean, thank you!" I blurt out when I see Christian gazing down at me, with those eyes that I can feel touching me caressing over my damaged shoulder skimming down my bruised arms and legs then slowly and gently stroking their way back up my body before coming to rest linked back into mine.

"Why would you thank me Anastasia? I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, I didn't do anything really." He replies nonchalantly but I can see he cares.

"Well first I never thanked you for saving me from face planting when I first arrived, and I an led to believe that I have you to thank for saving me from Jose, I mean Jack" Ok so now my mum would be happy! I can hear her chanting in my head 'always say please and thankyou Ana, money can buy you many things but manners come for free!' I'm sure she just made up most of her sayings but well I suppose its true!

"Like I said I just did what anyone else would have done in my situation" He seems genuinely puzzled as to why I am compelled to thank him!

"Erm... what time is it? and how did I get here?" I ask giggling slightly.

"Its 1 in the afternoon, and I brought you through I thought you'd be more comfortable in here than half off the couch in your lounge." He states looking decidedly amused. I must look a right state! I reach up to touch my hair and stall halfway to groan its really bloody sore! "Have you seen a Doctor Anastasia?" Oh! He sounds a bit angry

"No. I don't think so, i was unconscious though..." He stoops down and scoops me off the bed like I weigh nothing more than a feather. I can feel all his muscles pulsating in his chest I snuggle in and take comfort in his heartbeat.

"Elliot?" he shouts

"Yeah?" I hear Elliot reply

"I'm taking Ana to get checked by a doctor ive got my cell if you need me."

"Yeah OK I'll keep Kate safe then" Sheesh I can hear the giggles coming from Kate's room its obvious that her and Elliot are at it like bloody rabbits on heat! Christian whips out his mobile and calls someone.

"Outside in two minutes then to the clinic have a doctor ready to see her" He hangs up. WTF?

"That was a bit rude!" I say

"No Ana that was efficiently getting to the point! Im taking you to a doctor to make sure your Okay I feel slightly responsible for this. If I hadn't been an arrogant ass last night you'd have gone out with me and we wouldn't be in this situation now!" He replies forcefully, wow I did not expect guilt from him, and OMG he DOES want to go out with me! I would so be doing my happy dance if I was by myself! I settle for having a large cheesy grin on my face! Christian looks down at me and smiles before a large black people carrier stops at the kerb. A tall well-built man with an almost skinhead comes round and opens the door.

"Mr Grey" he says

"Taylor, I trust the doctor is waiting?"

"Yes sir" He replies before helping us in and closing the door, he jumps back in and speeds off.

"Christian we'll need to go to A&E we wont get to see a doctor any other way." I state, obviously this guy doesn't understand the NHS!

"Oh Ana, how little you know!" He replies as if he has some huge secret that I don't know. Then the panic hits me I'm in a car with two unknown men that could be taking me anywhere, I can feel my breathing getting harder and im shaking oh god here comes the darkness again...

"ANA!"

I'm gone surrendered to the black fog that engulfs me.

**Hope you liked it feel free to add me on facebook its Carriej Fanfic x**


	4. Where am I?

**A/N All characters belong to E. . Hope you enjoy this one! I'm on Facebook Carriej Fanfic I'm gonna try to post some spoilers on there for you. **

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As I come to, AGAIN! I have a vague awareness of whats going on around me, I can hear a familiar blip, blip, blip, hang on it's a heartbeat, I can feel a pinch on my finger like a clip, it's MY heartbeat! I can feel something round my arm like a soft cuff, I force my eyes to open. I am in a very large white room, surrounded by machines, yep im on a heart monitor, it is a BP cuff on my arm I have a drip too! Oh and there is a plaster cast on my left arm but it just feels numb, and my legs feel like they are made of lead. I must have been sedated or something? I try to move.

"Ahhh" I moan in pain, so ok if I don't move it doesn't hurt, but if I do move I feel like I've been steamrollered! I can hear footsteps approaching my bed along with a familiar scent that almost knocks me back out again!

"Oh Ana, baby! We have been so worried! Why didn't you call us? You have nothing to be embarrassed about you know it happens to lots of girls and oh..."

"Mum!" I interrupt "I'm so glad to see you! Is Dad here too?" I croak out wow I could really use a drink right now!

"Of course he's here! Ray? RAY! Ana wants to see you shes awake now! Our baby is awake!" She is almost crying. I guess Kate told her what happened, last thing I remember was being in the flat... something about a cuppa? My memories seem scattered its like I have snapshots but can't quite see the big picture?!

"Oh sweetheart! We have been so worried about you! Who knows what would have happened if Mr Grey hadn't brought you here! I shudder to think!" My dad whispers the last part as he bends down to scoop me into a hug. All of a sudden I'm in tears I don't quite know why but, god, it feels good!

"Where am I? How long have I been here?" I ask quietly "Can I have some water please?"

"I'll get the nurse and I'll tell Mr Grey your awake he's been rather anxious, Carla I'll leave this to you." My dad says as he hurries out the room leaving me and mum alone, obviously he's decided that she's going to tell me because she's shooting him daggers as he darts away.

"You are in a private room in hospital," She starts "You have a broken arm and a skull fracture. Ana you have been in a coma for three days. We have been sitting by your bedside since Christian called, he told us you were attacked in a pub and given some drug that caused you to faint, when you did you hit something that caused a small skull fracture and over time your brain began to swell causing you to go in and out of conciousness it's also why you attacked him in his car..." His car? I attacked him?...Oh I have a small flash of that I remember him shouting my name but it went black... I can't remember...

"But mum why don't I remember?" I ask trying to get things straight in my head.

"I don't know Ana the doctor says it'll take time and some of it might never come back. I'm so sorry baby" My mother says soothingly "I think you should talk to Christian he might help bring some memories back"

"How exactly would I do that? I don't know him Mum! I only met him on Saturday! Do I send out some kind of telepathic message? Oh Christian I want to see you could you come to my hospital room now please!" I say sarcastically. There's a knock at the door. Mum and I look at the door as Christian apears we look at each other and just shake our heads. Oh my god this guy is good!

"Miss Steele, I heard from your father your awake I hope you don't mind me coming up to see you. Hello again Mrs Steele." Well if I didn't feel woozy before I sure as hell do now!

"Carla!" She says insistently "Please call me Carla, Mrs Steel is my mother-in-law!" Then she quickly jumps to her feet and motions Christian to take her chair. She stoops over me and gently kisses my cheek, before nodding and leaving the room.

"Miss Steele? My name is Ana!" I maybe shouldnt have started with that he looks slightly offended but hell I'm lying in a hospital bed not even sure of the time of day and he's using bloody formalities! He leans over with a small cup of water and puts the straw in my mouth. I gulp thirstily.

"Yes I know that, I was being polite Anastasia! I hope you aren't this grumpy all the time and that it's just the drugs talking!" That cheeky bugger!

"I do apologise Mr Grey!" I say as insincerely as possible still gripping the straw with my teeth "However I am grateful you brought me here and called my parents, and I prefer Ana" I seem to have appeased him as he relaxes into the chair. I take my time to get a good look at him and he looks rough! His shirt is all wrinkled, his hair is all over the place almost as if he's been constantly running his hands through it. He looks like he's not slept for days, that's just weird! On top of it all he's grown a beard? In spite of all that he still looks mega sexy! I am almost drooling over him, shit I AM actually drooling! How disgusting! He says nothing he just pulls out a handkerchief and wipes my chin gently then places the used hankie on the table beside the bed. "Thankyou" I mutter totally self consciously, I can't say I blame him if this guy runs for the hills now! He's seen me drool! Bleugh!

"You're welcome! You really gave me a fright in the car Anastasia!" He says looking worriedly at me

"I, uh, don't remember that, can you tell me what happened?" I try to sound like I want to know, in actual fact I really don't, how much more of a prat of myself could I have possibly made? Why oh why does he insist on calling me Anastasia!

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" he looks at me almost as if he's reading my mind

"Yes" I reply firmly.

"Well I carried you from your apartment to the car, you made some comments about not knowing about the NHS, Do you remember that?"

"Kinda, I suppose, yes the bald guy was going the wrong way!" I remember the panicky feeling. It begins bubbling up in my stomach, but I know my Mum is lurking at the door so I'm safe here.

"Yes, you believed Taylor was going in the wrong direction, then you seemed to pass out, you quickly came back round and tried to open the car door and jump out. Sorry I had to restrain you, and you lost conciousness again but this time you wouldn't wake up, I thought I'd hurt you. I'm sorry I got you here and got you this room and the best doctors in the country to look after you." Oh, that's a lot to take in! I tried to jump from a moving vehicle? He restrained me? With what? This is too much information but I need to know.

"How did I attack you?" I ask timidly, because im seriously scared of the answer.

"Well, you tried to hit me and scratch me, but it's fine Ana. I'm a big boy you didn't hurt me." Oh thats a lot more to digest. Im exhausted!

"I'm feeling tired again now could you leave?" I ask him politely. I need time by myself to figure all this out.

"Yes of course! I didn't mean to overwhelm you Anastasia, I just want you better. The doctor will be in soon to check you I let her know you are awake" He does seem keen to show he cares.

"Yeah... sure... I'll see you later?..." My eyelids are heavy and drawing themselves down I'm sure I feel his lips gently brush my forehead before I fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

When I awaken I'm alone in the room, the heart monitor is gone as is the BP cuff only the drip remains in the back of my hand. I take a good look around I must be quite high up as I can see the Clyde and the city below from my window. I can also see lots of vases of flowers in every colour imaginable! Oh I need to pee, how is this gonna work? I look around and see a small button so I press it (I hope it's the nurse call button and not the fire alarm...). A small brown-haired woman shuffles into my room, she has a big smile and I immediately like her!

"Hello Ana, I'm Donna your named nurse. What can I get for you hen?" she asks with her Glaswegian twang.

"Hi Donna, I need the loo..." Donna lets out a big belly laugh, I don't get it, what's so funny?

"Oh hen did no one tell you?" I shake my head "You've got a catheter in, you were in a coma!" She gently squeezes my arm. I flinch and she let's go.

"Oh but im awake now and im bursting Donna! Can you take it out?" I practically beg her.

"Aye okay then. But I'll need to go get Tina to help me get you through to the loo." She reluctantly goes to get her colleague. She's back quickly and the two of them soon have me up and in the bathroom, I have to call it that coz its HUGE! There is a tub and a separate shower, this place is more like a hotel! If it wasnt for the emergency pull cords I'd swear it was!

"Thanks Donna, Cheers Tina!" I smile at them once I'm back in bed.

"Would you like some soup for lunch? The carts due round in a minute, it's chicken today" Donna asks me

"Yes please! could I get a drink of water too?" I ask enthusiastically. Donna smiles and nods.

"Do you want me to send in your boyfriend too?" she asks

"I don't have a boyfriend Donna" Now I'm confused unless she's taking the piss out of me!

"Oh OK then! Do you want me to send through the drop dead gorgeous guy that brought you in and hasn't left since?" Wow, Christians been here this whole time?

"Yes please." I say quietly stunned by this new information.

"Darlin' could you get him to wash? He's starting to scare the other visitors!" Donna jokes, or at least I hope she's joking! I smile and nod at her.

* * *

Ten minutes later Christian Grey is standing at the end of my bed looking even more disheveled than he did last time I saw him! He has Kate and Elliot with him too. I'm so happy to see them!

"Hey guys!" I can barely contain my excitement although my body is forcing me to!

"Ana! Oh My God I've been so worried about you, I've barely slept!" Kate gushes at me

"Yeah right Kate! I'M the reason you've barely slept?" I glance at Elliot and see him turning a lovely shade of red, I knew it! Kate just throws me a withering look and takes Elliot's hand and they sit at one side and Christian sits at the other side of my bed.

"So what did the doctor say?" Kate asks

"Erm..."

"She's making brilliant progress she's a lot further on in her recovery than they thought she'd be." Christian answers for me. I look at him stunned, how does he know more about my condition than I do? "The Doctor came round earlier but let you sleep, I was sitting with you when he came in" He explains.

"Oh okay..." I'm still slightly surprised I barely know this guy and he's been keeping up a bedside vigil? Really? Donna walks in with my soup and a big jug of iced water.

"Only one visitor during mealtimes so two of you have to go" Donna states looking at me. Oh I guess I choose who leaves then.

"Thankyou for coming Elliot it was lovely to see you again, maybe you should take Kate out for lunch and come back when your done?" I suggest. Kate looks both disappointed and eager, but hugs me and leaves with Elliot's arm wrapped around her waist. Lucky cow! I wish I could stand let alone have some gorgeous American take me out to lunch!

"It's rude to stare!" Christian murmurs to me. I turn to face him. I look longingly at him, please kiss me Christian! I need this it will make me better! I beg him with my eyes. His eyes stare into my thoughts and almost instantly he swoops down and presses his lips to my forehead gently.

"Why did you stay Christian?" I ask "Was it just because you felt guilty?"

"I suppose at first maybe, but I just couldn't leave you here Ana" Now he calls me Ana! "I need you to be better first and even then I don't think I can leave you Ana! You are the most beautiful woman I've ever set eyes on!" He's looking deep in my eyes as he says it. Swoon! A declaration of desire if ever I've heard one! I lift my cast onto his shoulder and turn to face him running my fingertips through his hair as best I can and pull him towards me, ignoring the pain shooting through my body. He places his hands on either side of my face and pulls me in closer. We are locked into each others eyes and getting closer, I can feel his breath on my lips. I pause to drink in the moment, I'm about to be kissed for the first time! I press my lips gently onto his, he presses back pushing me back into my pillow, I moan allowing his exploration of my mouth to continue. I explore his in return, this is amazing! I can feel his passion flowing out of him and into me. This feels euphoric! It's like time is standing still, nothing else matters apart from me and Christian and whats happening now! "I've wanted to do that since I caught you in the pub!" he breathes when we eventually break off.

"Why didn't you then?" I'm genuinely interested

"Oh I don't know. I'm a foolish man!"

"That you are! You could have saved me a shed load of pain!"

"It's complicated Ana. A lot more complicated than you know right now. I've never met someone like you. You say it how it is, you have a go at me?! I've never had people stand up to me."

"Why not? Are you a posh boy with a country pile and a huge wad of cash that everyone lets you away with murder?!" I giggle at him, I see him squirm uncomfortably and look at his feet. Oh shit I'm right! "Seriously?" he nods still looking down.

"I come from a good family, my moms a Doctor and my Dads a lawyer, we never struggled for anything Anastasia."

"So? Do you think any of that matters? I have to admit I'm sexually attracted to you Christian I don't know if it's anything more I've never been in a relationship before, plus I'm in a weird head space right now what with the whole Jose/Jack thing and the coma! I liked the kissing though!" I grin at him like a school girl he grins back, at that moment Donna comes striding in.

"Ana you need to eat! I'll put this one out too if you don't!" She says smiling and shaking her head.

"I was just about to! I swear" I say to Donna "And Christian was just going to get some clothes brought in and have a shower if that's ok" I add winking at her. Christian does do a great goldfish impression too! Donna and I both laugh, as Christian retrieves his phone and steps away to make a call. Donna smiles and leaves after placing the tray of food over the bed.

"Taylor will be in shortly and I'll take a shower as you insist!" he says with a wicked gleam in his eye. I can't help it but my eyes roam all over his body wondering exactly what he's hiding under all those clothes. I see him watching me checking him out and I blush! He just laughs and whispers "I saw you! Now eat your soup Miss Steele I'm away for a shower" He heads over to the door and steps out leaving me alone with thoughts of his body and the sound of the cascading water.

**I will try to update tomorrow I'm ony half way through chapter five and starting to struggle...**

**Leave a review**

**Thanks CarrieJ**


	5. Are We There Yet?

**A/N All characters belong to E.L . James**

**I wanted to move the story on a bit so I didn't do day-to-day of hospital as that would have been exceptionally dull to read and write! *PROUD AUNTIE* I will try to post tomorrow but no promises as I'm out seeing my neice perform! Just a wee shout out to all my followers and reviewers you make it so worthwhile for me! Oh and a huge thankyou to my big sister for listening to me moan about my bad ideas and supporting me anyway I love you x **

Oh boy does it feel good to be home! I'm so glad my injuries weren't as bad as everyone made them out to be! I was only in for a week, and I've got antibiotics to take but I'll be fine! I've still got this cast on it'll be another five weeks till that comes off but fortunately its on my left arm and im right handed so it's not to much of an issue. I still have a quite a few bruises still but they are more yellowed now and definitely not as painful! I think my head has been scanned by every machine in Scotland just to ease Mr Grey's mind (Is there nothing a pretty face can't buy you?) Fortunately for me they all concur that I am recovered, there is no swelling and even the headaches I had been having have gone! Mum has obviously been clucking round me like a mother hen but I suppose it her way of showing love, you know, by smothering me in it! Dad came to see me a few times he just kept treating me like I was made of porcelain it was doing my nut in! I saw Mr Grey every day for my therapy sessions (Known to most as major snogging!) and boy did I feel a lot better when he'd worked his magic! Oh ann I kept him clean too, making sure he showered regularly (Oh I so wish I'd caught a glimpse! My imagination has gone into overdrive and oh... the dreams I've been having...) I'm not to do much for the first few days I'm home so Kate's taken the week off to play nurse for me, oh and Elliot, it's one of their things apparently! (It's one of those things you wish you could unhear when you've heard it! That and about all their other kinky fetishes! Kate should really stop telling me this stuff, but she's my best friend so what can I do!) You should have seen my Dad's face when we walked in to find Kate in a PVC nurses outfit! Him and Christian didn't know where to look! Me Kate and Mum just laughed at them both! So now I'm on my bed channel flicking on Sky, jings we have hundreds of channels but there is still nothing on! I settle for a repeat of ER, George Clooney can come and take my temperature any day! I'm hoping to go out tomorrow Christian has promised me a special trip that wont be to strenuous and a visit to Mum and Dad's for dinner. Mum has phoned me twice so far. First to find out what Christian will eat, and then to tell me we're having steak and chips with a peppercorn sauce. I'm worried as Mum doesn't cook so I hope she's got it in pre-made!

* * *

Christian arrives at ten in the morning to pick me up. He seems nervous, which is weird as we have spent nearly all day everyday with each other for the last week.

"Hey, what's up with you?" I enquire.

"Nothing" He shrugs his shoulders as if I've said something daft. I decide to leave it if he has something to say im sure he'll say it in his own time. I grab my coat and shout to Kate that I'm leaving.

"Bye Kate! Remember I'll not be back for dinner we are going to my Mum and Dads"

"Okay! See when I see you" she says winking at me, or was that at Christian? Ever had that feeling that there is something going on and your just not privy to that information? I give her a quick hug and grab my coat. As we go to leave Christian slips his hand round my waist, I can feel tingles running up and down my spine at his proximity to me, and all those dreams about his six-pack... oh I can feel my heartbeat quicken and my face slowly flush. He looks at me with a knowing smile. Ooops I forget he's a bloody mind reader sometimes! We head out to find Taylor waiting at the kerb with a small sleek silver Audi TT, it is the most beautiful car I've ever seen! He hands the keys to Christian and walks to the black people carrier parked behind. He gets in and waits. Christian opens the passenger door and helps me in, before walking round and getting in himself.

"Ready?" he asks.

"As I'll ever be!" I say with a huge grin, im so excited! The car roars into life and suddenly we're on our way, heading for the motorway, with Taylor following behind us. I only know this because Christian called him from his iPhone stopping his eclectic music for two minutes!

"What song is this?" I ask as a particularly melancholy rock ballad comes on.

"Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls. It's one of my favourites." he says distractedly. I close my eyes and listen to the lyrics, it's such a beautiful song it makes me sad yet passionate. I long to grab Christian and snog him right here right now! Of course I have to wait till we stop so I'm hoping we're not going too far! The car is racing along yet it feels like we are barely moving, not like in my wee Micra! I'm considering installing pedals to help her get up hills! The only reason I still have her is because she's hugely fuel-efficient! I zone back out on the music when the song finishes and decide its the perfect time to find out about Mr and Dr Grey!

"So, what are your parents like?" I start. He glances over at me before burning his eyes into the road.

"My Dads a lawyer my Mom is a doctor. They are nice people if that's what you are asking Anastasia." Oh? He sounds angry, what have I done?

"They sound lovely..." I want to lighten the mood as it seems really tense in here! "So where are you taking me on our first date Mr Grey?" I aim for playful, but I don't know if I quite hit it. He suddenly grins at me.

"Wouldn't you like to know Miss Steele!" I notice now that we are heading into Stirling, a place I know really well! My village is really close to here... Oh I hope we are not going home just yet!

"We aren't going to Mum and Dad's yet are we?" I ask hoping for a no, I really want some quality alone time with him!

"No Anastasia, we're not! I'm taking you somewhere I think is very special, I believe you've been before." Cryptic, very cryptic! The car enters the city, goes through the centre and heads up the cobbled street, Audi TT + Cobbles = sore bum! We wind up towards the castle, not stopping until we reach the esplanade. This is my favourite place! The scenery is stunning from up here, the castle stands in all it's splendour behind me and in the distance I can see the Wallace Monument, with the city sprawled out between then, divided by the river. It's a beautiful afternoon a bit cold but worth it! I'm surprised that the Audi and the people carrier are the only two cars up here but I don't ponder on that for too long I'm desperate to get in the castle itself. The tour guide steps forward to give us a tour but I wave her away and drag Christian off giving him the tour that I have heard so many times. I save the best for last, The great hall! I love it it's my favourite bit of the whole castle it's huge with an old wooden framed ceiling. I had a dream as a little girl that I'd meet my prince charming and we would get married in here and live happily ever after, Kate always pointed out how daft that sounded but then she went on about being rescued from the Wallace Monument by her hair (Yes she had a Rapunzel thing!). We spent an hour wandering around the gardens hand in hand. It was perfect!

* * *

"Ready to go for lunch?" He asks.

"Yeah, im famished!" I say "I don't suppose there is any point asking where we are going?"

"Nope" he says laughing. I head for the car only for him to pull me away from it and down the hill. He chucks the keys at Taylor as we keep walking down the old town. I love all the old buildings, I find them fascinating. We keep walking until we come to the Highland Hotel, It's one of those places I've always admired from the outside but never gone in.

"Hello how can I help you?" The polite receptionist asked

"We have a reservation Mr and Mrs Taylor" He says. When did he use a fake name? And when did we get married? I must have been more out of it than I thought!

"Yes of course, Mr Taylor" She says handing him a card key "Your lunch reservation is in twenty minutes, The spa is open till ten tonight and from seven tomorrow. Breakfast is available from seven until ten thirty. Enjoy your stay!"

"Yes thankyou" he shoves the key in his pocket, and strolls towards the stairs pulling me along with him. "Taylor we are here is everything ready?...Good!" He puts his phone away as quickly as he produced it, I still don't get why he's so rude to Taylor. I look at him. "He's staff Anastasia, he expects it." he rolls his eyes at me. I shoulda known he could guess my thoughts! We enter a bright room with old fashioned drapes at the window, It's beautiful. He gently closes the door behind me. I turn to face him and can feel the atmosphere in the room change instantly. I look up at him flirtatiosly and he bends down to kiss me. I feel the desire in me rising as the kiss becomes more passionate. He runs his fingers through my hair, I moan. He takes full advantage with his tongue exploring every crevice of my mouth. I reach up and grab his hair pulling him down to my height and our tongues start dancing with each other. I can't get enough of him. He slowly edges me towards the bed, and I realise that this is it. Should I tell him? I pull breathlessly out of the kiss.

"Christian," I say my voice so filled with desire that I hardly recognise it "I'm a virgin"

**Let me know what you think. Leave me a review or contact me via Facebook Carriej Fanfic **

**Thankyou**

**Carriej x**


	6. A Virgin?

**A/N: Characters belong to E. L. James**

**So here it comes my first attempt at a sex scene, sorry big sis but you've got to stop imagining I'm Ana or things are about to get icky for you! Thankyou to all my new followers and reviewers it's all gratefully received! Special mention to all my Facebook friends that have helped me on SteffieDawn you're a star and Anges339 thankyou and Kerry thankyou for your interesting suggestion! lol! iamkaren10 Pielietje thanks for your reviews they mean loads :) Now on with the story!**

* * *

"What?" he asked

"I'm a virgin" I repeated not so sure I should have told him at all.

"Fuck Ana, you could have picked a better time to bloody tell me!" he sounded astounded "Did you not think about where this was going? I thought you wanted this too?" Oh shit I've upset him now!

"I do want to Christian! I just thought you should know" I state, sounding much more certain than I feel. I try to kiss him but he seems hesitant now.

"Tell me something Ana, why me?" he asks angrily. He gets up and moves across the room never breaking eye contact with me. Acting like some kind of trapped animal.

"What? Christian I've not met any other men that attract me the way you do, I thought you knew this! I mean we have spent every day together since we met!" I'm astonished that he doesn't get how much he means to me, "Two minutes ago it was fine to have sex with me if I wasn't a virgin but because I am it's not? And you've got a bloody cheek to be angry with me if anything I should be mad at you for your double standards!"

He moves toward me and pins me to the bed with the most passionate kiss I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. His hands roam all over my body leaving a trail of tingling nerves in their wake, his fingers brush through my hair, sweeping it to one side and gently stroking my neck. His lips move from my mouth down my neck, nibbling my earlobe on their way past. he works his way back up the other side and back to my mouth. His hands push my top up and over my head exposing my pink spotty bra, I so wish I'd worn nice underwear today! He moves away from me to admire my body. He raises his eyebrows when he reaches the spotty bra but he says nothing. I sit up and he slides my top off gently trying to avoid my stookied arm and drops it on the floor, then he reaches round my back to unhook my bra. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest, I want to pinch myself to make sure this isn't a dream! He slides my bra off my arms and drops it on top of my blouse. He peppers my face with little kisses, and moves down my neck and further down toward my breasts. He looks up as if asking for permission to continue. I nod and shyly smile at him. He smiles mischievously back.

"Are you sure Ana?"

"Yes, although I am feeling a bit exposed and your completely covered..." I giggle, with that he whips off his t-shirt exposing his torso. "Impressive Mr Grey!" I breathe, lustily.

"I could say the same Miss Steele" he greedily stares at my breasts.

I can't resist feeling that body, he has a six-pack for heaven's sake! His chest is solid muscle I can feel it flex and move beneath my hand. I can't resist rubbing it all over! He leans forward and begins to gently kiss my breasts, circling round the outsides heading inwards, my breath quickens as he suckles on my nipples, I've never felt anything like it! I can't find the words to explain how good it feels! He moves from one breast to the other as the pleasure spreads. I can feel it radiating throughout my body, he takes my nipples between his fingers and plays with them while his lips return to mine for a long lingering kiss, I can't help but moan at the excruciating pleasure. He lowers my quivering body onto the bed. His hands slowly and carefully move lower and caress my belly, he undoes the button and fly on my jeans and slides them out from under me. He slips his own off to and lies facing me on the bed. The kissing intensifies as he slips my knickers down and strokes up my inner thighs. I try to reciprocate but its hard when one arm is in a plaster cast! He feels my struggle and helps me, I kinda jump back in surprise when I see quite how well endowed he is! I reach out with my good hand and stroke down his chest, down over his torso towards his pubic hair, I grasp round the base of his penis.

"Jesus Ana, too hard, are you trying to break it off? You know its attached don't you?" Christian shouts at me not angrily more like he got a fright.

"Oh my god I'm sorry Christian, " I say immediately letting go.

He pushes me flat on my back and climbs on top, his muscular physique pressing against my warm flesh, I curl my hands in his hair and pull his mouth onto mine pushing my tongue into his mouth with such force that his eyes fly open in surprise. His hands snake down over my hips towards my clitoris, I screw my eyes shut and try to absorb the pleasure as his fingers begin tantalising and teasing me to heights of pleasure that I never knew existed, I feel his finger gently slip inside me. My eyes flare open in surprise.

"Oh Ana you're so ready for me!" He gasps appreciatively. He slips his finger out of me and puts it into his mouth, sucking it. I think my insides are about to spontaneously combust! "Are you ready?"

"Yes" I've never been more ready for anything in my whole life!

"I'll be gentle but it will hurt Ana" He says apologetically, as he reaches over for a condom. He pinches the end and rolls it on before coming back to kiss me hard.

This is it I'm about to lose my virginity! He holds me close and gently slides himself into me. It's a bit sore but he's being so gentle it makes it bearable, he is caressing my face and body and slowly pushing himself further in, it feels so good I'm trembling all over, he pushes in fully and I gasp. He pauses

"Are you ok Ana?"

"Yeah it's just...wow"

Christian starts to move gently in and out. OH MY GOD! I feel tingling everywhere all the sensations are coiling up inside me tighter than a spring. He tugs on my nipples and oh it's like ive been tipped over the edge of a cliff and I'm spiraling out of control, I think I'm shouting his name or trying to but my body is spasaming with such intensity I've never felt anything this good in my entire life! I am vaguely aware of Christian calling my name before collapsing on top of me. I am utterly exhausted. Christian gently eases himself out of me and rolls onto his back.

"Wow Ana, are you sure that was your first time? You were amazing!" I can feel a warm glow emanating from me, it's like I'm in some surreal bubble where nothing bad can ever happen again!

"Certain, I'm sure I'd remember an event like that!" Christian sits up and removes the condom. He heads into the bathroom.

"Do you want a shower Ana?"

"Erm yeah... I suppose I should" I yawn sleepily. My eyelids feel heavy and to be honest I don't want to move.

* * *

"Ana, come on! Wake up! You need a shower and you haven't eaten all day!"

"Huh? What? Did I...?"

"Yes Ana you fell asleep. I got the shower ready and came to get you but you were out so I took one and let you rest. Room service has just delivered lunch as we missed our reservation. You need to eat then have a shower we have to be at your parents house in an hour!" Oh crap! I quickly get up and rummage the floor for my clothes, Christian steps towards me with a white fluffy dressing gown, he helps me pull it on and I sit at the small table. He's ordered us soup and sandwiches, with a cup of decaf tea for me and a cappuccino for him. The soup is creamy mushroom and it's delicious! The tray of sandwiches contain every filling I could imagine. I look to Christian and raise my eyebrow.

"I didn't know what you'd like so I got a small selection of everything." He says simply as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

I eat quickly as I'm starving, leaving my tea to cool on the side. Who knew sex would work up an appetite! I run into the bathroom and switch the shower on. I glance round the bathroom and see my brand of shampoo and conditioner on the side of the bath along with a bar of dove soap, my favourite, he really does pay attention!

"Thank you" I shout through to him before i slip off the dressing gown and hang it on the back of the door. I turn to step into the shower when the door opens.

"Everything ok?" He asks his eyes greedily drinking in my naked body.

"Uh, yeah" Oh im so embarrassed! Is that weird it's not like he hasn't just seen me naked! I flush pink.

"I got this for you" he says handing me a carrier bag "Its to cover your cast with." He explains.

"Thanks." I mumble looking down.

"Anastasia? Is something wrong?" He asks coming to my side. I continue to look down, why wont he just leave?! "Look at me" he requests. I look into his eyes and im transfixed, I can feel my desire building again. "Stop looking at me like that, you need to get in the shower and get dressed before we head to your parents house" I continue gauping, I cant help it "Ana! Not just now! Get in the shower!" He steps away from me and out the door. I adjust the temperature of the shower down a little I think I need to cool off!

When I emerge from the bathroom, still wrapped in a towel, I grab my cuppa and drink it quickly. Christian just shakes his head and smiles then hands me a bag of new clothes. Including a beautiful baby pink silky bra and knickers set that has little red love hearts embroidered on it ( I dont think the hearts were there to begin with I have a feeling hes mocking the spotty bra I was wearing earlier!) I manage to get the knickers on with only the smallest amount of help but as for everything else I'm at his mercy, he's getting the job Kate got this morning! First he helps with the bra as the clasp is impossible to do up with one arm, then he helps me into a pair of black skinny jeans and a lovely jade green fitted t-shirt with a long black cardigan over the top. I realise he's also changed into black trowsers and a grey fitted shirt, he looks hot!

"New clothes?" I ask

"Yep" he perkily replies "Ready to go?"

"I just need to grab my handbag then I'm all yours" I reply. He smiles a perfect gleaming white smile at me, I return it with my own, all those years of braces really did pay off in this one moment! I find my bag check I've got everything and head over to him.

"After you Miss Steele" He says bowing his head

"Why thank you Mr Grey" I curtsey to him as I walk past. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me in to him for a gentle loving kiss and I can feel myself melting in his arms

"Later Miss Steele" he whispers his promise laced with intent that will keep me horny all night. How the hell am I going to get through dinner when one look from Christian and I can feel my insides yearning for him? We head down the corridor towards the stairs. Christian whips out his mobile.

"Taylor we will be outside in two minutes" He hangs up, and thrusts his phone back into his pocket. We walk down the stairs and out the door. We don't go into the car park as I expect. Taylor is parked outside the front of the hotel in the people carrier. Christian opens the door for me and we both slide into the back seat. I do find it weird, having someone to drive us to my parents house, but I've learned from when I was in hospital wherever Christian is Taylor is not far behind. Apparently he is his bodyguard but I think he's his friend too. You can't just follow someone around and not become close to them and the same vice versa! I'm interrupted from my reverie by the sound of music I can hear Empire State of Mind coming from somewhere then I realise it's my phone! Ooops!

"Hello?...Oh hi Kate!"

"Oh my god you had sex didn't you?" She sounds ecstatic, like all her Christmases have come at once.

"Erm.." I contemplate lying to my best friend but I'd never get away with it she knows me to well "yeah, Can I phone you back later im on my way to Mum and Dads at the moment"

"Yeah I'll let you go but only because I know you'll be giving me all the juicy details later" she chuckles mischievously

"Bye Kate"

"Laters" She hangs up.

"It was Kate" I explain. He smiles and nods

"I'd guessed"

My phone bursts into life again

"Hello?" Why do I not have numbers saved in this thing so I'd know who was calling like normal people it would make life so much easier!

"You'll get whats coming to you bitch! I'm gonna make you and your little boyfriend pay!" the line goes dead. I can feel all the blood drain out of my face, I drop the phone.

"Ana are you ok?" Christian asks sounding extremely concerned.

"I think we've just been threatened and I think I know who it was" I say shaking

"Who was it Ana?" He asks the anger rising in his throat

"I think... it was Jack Hyde" I whisper.

"Right that fucker is going down" He whips out his phone and makes a call "Welch, I need everything you know about Hyde, he's just made a threat against me and Miss Steele, I also need all his phone records both in the US and UK, email me your results." He hangs up. I think he's going to put the phone away but he places another call. He throws his arm around me pulling me close, "Dad I've got a problem, it's Jack Hyde hes just threatened myself and Ana,...yeah I want her safe Dad she's very important to me,...I know, ...Yes Welch is on it now,...Thanks Dad,... Yes I'll ask her tonight,...Okay bye..."He hangs up and snuggles me in.

"Ask me what?"

"Later I said. After we have seen your parents."

"Okay" Oh shit, now im scared!

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**Well that's all for tonight!**

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**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Please review!**

**Carriej x x x**


	7. The Discussion

**A/N: All characters belong to E. L. James**

**I've been wondering about writing a chapter covering Christians point of View on certain Key moments, Like the catch in the pub, the fight or possibly just from their hotel room experience together onwards including the cryptic call to his dad in the last chapter. If you would like that then Facebook me (Carriej Fanfic) or P.M or leave a review Thankyou to all those who are reading my story and following. I'll not make big sis cry this time... Still love you though x x x**

**Enjoy...**

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My Mum and Dad were on fine form when we arrived, Christian got given the grand tour of my childhood home by my Dad whilst I got dragged into the kitchen to help my mother with dinner! Even I must admit that, for once, my Mother surpassed herself! Dinner was sublime! She had gone all out and made three courses, a lovely bowl of ham and vegetable soup followed by the main of steak and chips with veg and a peppercorn sauce (I wish she'd cooked like this when I lived at home!) finished off with chranachan, my favourite! I'm just glad my parents didn't notice what was going on under the table during dinner! When Christians hands were sliding up my thighs I thought that I was going to combust where I sat! I was just beginning to return the favour when Dad decided to drag us into the lounge and give us all a glass of whiskey where my parents chorused slainte! Much to Christians amusement and my mortification! Dinners are not normally like this in my house, I'm sure my parents have gone all out on the Scottish front to impress their American guest, did I mention the tartan tablecloth and napkins? Sometimes parents can be so embarrassing! My mum is even wearing a kilt! Fortunately I did mention to Christian that they would probably be like this on the journey through after the phone call *shudder* I started babbling the whole time and only shut up when we arrived. After spending two hours in the company of Carla and Ray Steele and one hour with the additional company of Duncan and Irene from next door we are eventually able to leave! As much as I love my parents sometimes they can be a bit overbearing! Did they REALLY have to show Christian the photo albums of me from birth to five? Plus all the awkward photos from both primary and high school?!

"Oh my god that was torturous! I'm so sorry you had to endure that!" I exclaim apologetically one we are safely in the back seat of the car.

"Anastasia, that was the most fun I've had since I've been in this country!" He genuinely proclaims back. We both start to laugh at how different we are. When we stop I realise it's time to address the elephant in the room that has been lurking since I took that god awful call.

"So what are we doing about Mr Hyde?" I ask very quietly, I know he heard me because his intent gaze dropped from mine for a couple of seconds before he regained his composure, but he said nothing. "Christian? Did you hear me?" I repeat a bit louder this time.

"Yes, I heard you. This just isn't the time or the place Ana." Huh what's that supposed to mean? He averts his eyes from me and down to his blackberry. I can see he's reading so I stare vacantly out the window.

"Taylor could you take the next right please?" I ask. He looks uncertainly at Christian who nods so he makes the turn. "Keep going straight till I tell you to stop. Thank you" I say. We drive in silence for another ten minutes before I get Taylor to pull over in a passing place on a back road in the middle of nowhere. I get out of the car.

"Ana? Where are you going?" He asks incredulously.

"Well Christian I presumed that you might tell me whatever it is here and now, there is no one else here, apart from Taylor and judging from the look on his face he already knows! So will you just bloody tell me and stop acting like some arrogant bafoon!" I shout at him as loudly as I can. I hope he can feel my rage, he's treating me like a child and I'm 21 for gods sake!

"OK, OK!" he backs down. "I've been trying to work up to telling you all day Ana. My Dad called earlier, while you were asleep, Jack is still in Scotland he will be here until you testify against him, unless you are willing to come to America and testify there. It's the only way to make sure the bastard goes down."

"I...I...have to...testify?" I gulp

"I thought you knew Ana, but after today I guessed you didn't. My Dad is willing to come over here and be your attorney if you want the trial here, otherwise you can join the class action suit my Dad has put together at home. You're the first one to get away Ana, you are the star witness."

"Go to America? What? When? I don't know Christian. How long for? I need time to process this..." I stammer

"My Dad is flying out here he should be here in a couple of days one he's finished doing some stuff for the class action. He will still need your statement and a copy of the one you gave the police Ana"

"I gave a statement? When?" I asked puzzled I thought I had all my memories back but obviously not!

"Oh shit Ana do you not remember that? It wasn't long after the fight in the pub Kate said they came to your apartment, they also showed up at the hospital they were with you for hours!" he shares with me.

"Christian can you take me home please" I need time to think with no interruptions this is a lot to take in!

"Yeah of course I can" he turns me back towards the car I hadn't even realised I'd been walking away from. "Taylor could you take us back to Miss Steele's apartment"

"No, I mean my parents house Christian. I want my Mum" I start to sob, I can't help it. It's not every day your boyfriend of two weeks tells you that there is a serial rapist after you that you have identified and made statements to the police about without your own knowledge and to top it off he ends with a come to America and put him away. Not exactly how I imagined Christian inviting me to see his country for the first time!

"Ok Ana, it's ok we are going back to your Moms house. Dont cry baby, please don't cry." He holds me as close as he can considering we are both belted in. I rest my head heavily on his chest I can hear his heart beating loud and strong. It gives me comfort. He quickly pulls out his mobile to tell my Mum what's been going on and that we are on our way back I don't pay much attention after that. I know when he's done as he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight, I know in this moment I have never felt safer.

When we arrive at Mum and Dads, my Mum is waiting for me. Dad takes Christian through to the lounge and Mum and me head for her bedroom. We cozy up on her bed and I finally let out everything that has been going on in my head, It's cathartic to say the least! I even accidentally manage to tell her that I lost my virginity, she just smiles and tells me she'd guessed earlier! She tells me about when her and Dad got together and how romantic it all was with walks in the park and candle light dinners. She even goes as far as to tell me about her wedding night...YUCK! There are some parts of your parents lives that should be private! We talk about Jack Hyde and I tell her about all my options, she tries her best to help me remember about the witness statement I gave as she was there?! I'm beginning to get small glimmers of what I said but I don't know if they are my memories or what I'm being told. I'm emotionally drained by the time I've finnished talking so she just holds me and rocks me like she did when I was little and hums rock-a-bye-baby to me till I fall asleep.

I awaken in the morning in my mum and dad's guest room, its my old room but I don't mind them having converted it. I feel a lot happier to have talked but I'm still tired as I didn't get much sleep. Christian is sitting in the chair at the end of the bed watching me.

"Morning beautiful" he says gently, moving gracefully out of the chair and up beside me. He places his lips gently on mine in the softest sweetest kiss I've ever had!

"Morning, how long have you been sitting there?" i ask

"Not long I had to bribe your Mom to let me in here! She said you need your beauty sleep and that if I woke you you'd be a... what was it hmm... crabby... something or other!" He laughed a proper hearty laugh, I couldn't help but smile!

"She has always called me a crabby abbey if I don't get enough sleep!"

"That's it that's what she called you!" He laughed again, I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's not that funny!" I pouted

"Oh I see what she means crabby abbey! Eye rolling and pouting, you might want to learn to control your crankiness Ana you never know what kind of trouble you might get into!" He smiles with a wicked gleam in his eye. There was something almost threatening about the way he said that. Threatening but sexy as hell! I smile up at him lustily trying to change the mood. "Miss Steele you might want to control yourself! We are in a room in your parents house and when you orgasm you are very very loud!" Oh! I didn't know that. I can still feel myself squirm at the thought of how close he is to me. I slide my good arm down his front and yeah, as I thought he's as horny as me!

"Mr Grey it seems you're as pleased to see me as I am you" I state stroking him through his trousers.

"Miss Steele I'm very sorry for any confusion, I said we couldn't have sex, not that seeing you lying here, I presume naked under those bed-clothes, isn't turning me on!" He laughs at me sensually. So I decide to throw back the covers and give him a proper eyeful! He looks longingly at my naked body his fingers reach out and graze my nipples as if he just cant help himself. He quickly pulls back. "Oh Ana, Ana, Ana! What will I do with you? I should spank you for that, showing of the forbidden fruit when I cannot eat from the tree! I think you need to get up and dressed before I can't help myself and your Mother hears you come loudly, more that once!"

"Is that a threat or a dare Mr Grey?" I say salaciously before I roll myself on top of him.

"You are a naughty girl Miss Steele aren't you?"

"Oh yes sir I think I might be..." I lick my lips and stare into his sparkling grey eyes. He rolls me over so he is on top, and kisses me, deeply and passionately. Oh I want him so badly I can feel a familiar burning deep down inside me and it feels like he is fanning the flames.

He jumps off me and walks back to the chair.

"Enough now Ana we have a lot to talk about today and we have all the time in the world for everything else" He adds a cheeky wink. "Get dressed baby, and I'll go and see where your Mom is"

"Christian" I shout before he leaves my room "Where did you stay last night?"

"Here Ana. Where else would I be?"

"What about Taylor?"

"He went back to the hotel to do some tidying up!" He smirks " He also slept there, In a different room Ana so don't look quite so appalled" Thank god I breathe a sigh of relief, I don't want Taylor sleeping in the bed where I lost my virginity! That would be, well, awkward!

He leaves the room. I get up and go through the drawers, Mum lets me keep somethings here for when I visit, in fact she insists I keep things here! I find clean knickers and a bra, then I pull out a light blue strappy top and matching long cardigan that Mum gave me for christmas and a pair of comfy jeans, I look a bit scruffy but only because I keep my nice stuff in my flat!

"Mum!" I yell, I can hear her footsteps coming up the hall.

"Yes sweetie?" she says poking her head round the door.

"Can you help me dress please?" I ask her, she raises her eyebrows in silent question, I know she's asking why Christian didn't help but I just smile sweetly at her.

"Yes of course!" She looks almost gleeful! "Oh Ana you're not wearing that are you?" She asks pointing at my selected clothes for today.

"Well, erm, yeah I am, I don't have much here you see..." I tail off

"I'll pick you something that will impress your young man" She says. When she turns away I roll my eyes I know whats coming before she's actually found it! "Ah yes here we go!" She comes out of my old wardrobe carrying a lemon dress with small white daisies printed on it, I never really liked it, and wore it once when I was 17! She goes into my drawers and finds a lemon cardigan to match. "Perfect!" She exclaims once she has dressed me. "Come on I cant wait to see your young man's face"

"Muuum! His name is Christian!" I sound like a stroppy teenager but show me a child that can go into their parents house and not regress to teenage angst at times and I'll show you a liar!

"Yes sweetie I know that." She bites back at me still with the butter wouldn't melt smile plastered on her face. "Ahhh there you are Mr Grey, good morning Mr Taylor, sorry you both had to wait for my bone idle daughter but you know if she doesn't get her sleep she is a real crabby abbey!" Oh I think I just died! Both Christian and Taylor look at my mum and smile and nod politely "Anastasia, come and show the gentlemen how pretty you look" I walk into the room Christian's jaw drops. Taylor manages a bit more self-control, I do hope they aren't going to laugh at me!

"Ana! You look...Stunning! That's it I'm taking you out to lunch! Mrs Steele would you care to join us?" I'm puzzled I look like a 21-year-old Barbie! I'm sure as hell not going out looking like this!

"Erm, I think ill need to change first. Is it not a bit cold outside today?" I try to get Christian to notice the pleading in my eyes!

"No Ana it's lovely outside!" My mother bursts in with "I would love to have lunch with you but I promised I'd go out with one of the ladies from the bowling club today. Maybe another time, and it's Carla to you." She smiles and winks at me. What is it with folk winking at me today?!

"Of course Carla. Possibly Mr Steele and yourself could join us for dinner one night? Please call me Christian"

"We would love to Christian and you remember it's Carla and Ray! You're like family to us now the son we never had!" She fills up as she says it. Gee ta Mum glad to hear you'd have prefered a boy! She ushers us to the front door, Taylor slips out and starts the car. We both say goodbye to Mum as I don't quite know where I'm going to stay. I thank her for our chat last night it's the thing Mum's are best at, letting you vent then showing you how to see it all in a different light. I know now I have a big decision to make about Hyde's trial and it's not going to be easy, but hopefully once I've spoken to Mr Grey senior I'll be a lot more informed and that should make it more apparent what course of action I should take.

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**Hope you liked if you did review, or even if you didn't constructive criticism please all feedback is helpful!**

**Carriej x**


	8. I'm ready to leave!

** A/N All characters belong to E. L. James**

**So I'm trying to write a Christian POV chapter I'm not happy with it so it's not going up yet! I thought I'd bring you chapter 8 nice and early! I hope you like it x**

**Enjoy...**

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I've been staying at Mum's for a week now and I'm ready to go home! One good thing about telling your Mum whats going on in your life is that she can be reasonable, on some things! She let Christian stay in the same room as me for one thing but she set up a camp bed for him to sleep on! She made me wear dresses everyday including some I'd never seen before? I have a feeling Christian has something to do with them! They all had matching cardigans and shoes even some handbags?! I have to admit that they weren't even that bad! The business Christian's Dad had to see to took a wee bit longer than he thought but he's flying in to Edinburgh tomorrow sometime and is not a good traveler so we are going to stay in a hotel tonight and tomorrow with him until he's over his jet lag then we will be staying at some flat Christian has rented in Glasgow. He's been acting a bit weird about it so I don't ask too much. Even I can see it makes sense to move out of a hotel into somewhere more practical if he's staying in Scotland for a while! Anyway he's already offered Elliot a room as he's definitely staying for the next year if not longer depending on his course, and Kate! I havent heard much from her just one phone call a day to check in and make sure we are both ok. I know Elliot has practically moved in, in my absence, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it! One MAJOR downside we havent been able to make love at all! Any time we have gotten close Mum's radar has gone off! She's managed to catch us in some very compromising situations! Tonight though I'm on a promise! I'm so, so, so excited!

When the time comes for us to leave Mum makes a big scene, for the neighbours benefit only. She sobs how much she's going to miss us both, I look away and roll my eyes, Christian catches me and fires me a warning look that stokes the fires of my inner desire. We take it in turns to hug her as my Dad remains at the door only coming forward to try to wrangle Mum back into the house. They both smile and wave as we go Mum with a little white cotton hanky! I let out the breath I've been holding, we did it! We escaped!

We arrive in Edinburgh just before dinner . We are not meeting Mr Grey off his plane till tomorrow so we check into our nearby hotel. It's not as architecturally beautiful as the last one but it is decorated nicely. We go through the formalities of being Mr and Mrs Grey this time, we get told about breakfast and dinner but we really are not listening so the woman gives up and hands us the key. We are on the fourth floor, we opt for the old fashioned lift. When we enter the lift to ride up the atmosphere around us changes, the lift moves very slowly which is good as I feel every nerve ending standing to attention with anticipation. Christian gives me a look that makes me putty in his hands and oh boy does he know it! He pulls me close and im expecting him to kiss me but instead he whispers in my ear,

"You've been a very naughty girl Miss Steele, very naughty indeed!" Oh god I think I could spontaneously combust right here, he's just about to do something when the doors ping open at our floor, it obviously just doesn't move slowly enough! He grabs my hand and drags me down the corridor, anyone that saw us would know exactly what was about to happen! He flings open the door and I run in and dive onto the bed, trying my best to shed my clothes as I go. He slams the door and follows suit so we are both lying naked on the bed facing each other, panting.

I flutter my eyelashes at him and try to look coy, which is bloody hard when your starkers and offering yourself on a plate! He shakes his head at me and his lips turn up into a small smile. I go to talk but he presses his finger to my lips.

"I hope your ready for this Anastasia" He stares deeply into my eyes I can only nod as I don't think I could speak if I tried! He launches into his carnal assault of all my senses. His kisses seem to have a new depth to them I can feel my body moving to match his rhythm. My hips seem to have a mind of their own, lifting and moving against his. His hands run through my hair and down my sides gently caressing my behind, he slaps my behind hard and I jump in surprise.

"What was that for?" I ask

"Because I can Ana, and I know you like it" he says shrugging his shoulders. "I could just take you over my knee and spank you, nothing would give me greater pleasure"

"Why don't you then?" I challenge, I'm intrigued. I did find that last one quite a turn on!

"No Ana, I don't think you could handle that." he replies I can feel my mood slipping, he senses it and silences me with a kiss. He fondles my breasts and pulls and suckles on my nipples between kisses, oh fuck this feels good! I let out a chorus of appreciative moans so he increases the intensity. Wow, I feel myself beginning to climb. He notices too and slows down. Then he moves lower down my body, his hands gliding over my smooth stomach. They slide lower down to my thighs he tugs gently on my pubic hair, I don't like that I make a mental note to try waxing or at least shaving down there! His hands firmly hold my bottom as he runs his nose across my clitoris as he slowly inserts his tongue into me. I don't think my dreams have ever done this justice! He then starts running it up and over my clit lapping, sucking and teasing me till my whole body is a quivering wreck. I climb higher and higher with him encouraging and pushing me forward with every gentle flick. I'm floating higher and higher until I feel it. It comes like waves of pleasure crashing over me during a tsunami. My body is seizing with delight I am in another world! Slowly I can feel myself coming back down into reality.

No sooner than I'm down than Christian slams into me full force, he kisses me hard and fast as he starts up a gentle rhythm. He takes his time to fondle my hypersensitive breasts. II run my hand through his hair and drag him back down for another long kiss, I move my hand down over his rippling front, oh that chest! I reach round and grab that pert little backside of his, this it would seem is his weak spot as soon he is really speeding up, I push back up against him trying to keep up with his relentless rhythm. I can feel another orgasm building in me, all my muscles are tightening and I'm sure he can feel it too. When I see him reach his climax crying out my name, I jump off the cliff and descend pleasure right along with him calling his name too. We both fall into a contented sleep holding tight to each other.

When we get up in the morning Taylor has been out and got us each a new outfit, I'm beginning to see a pattern, it's a fitted burgundy/red dress today with matching wedge heels and a little black cardie that has sparkle through it with a lovely red bra and knickers set with black stockings! I wonder where the hell I'm gonna put all these clothes? I go look in the mirror once I'm dressed, red suits me! It's not a colour I usually wear because it attracts attention but wow! Christian comes up behind me in black trousers and a white shirt on he's wearing a silver tie, He looks HOT!

"So why all the dresses? Does Taylor pick them?" I ask curiously

"Ana you look beautiful in a dress and I go online and email what I want for you to Taylor and he goes and gets it!" He sounds a bit offended that I was giving Taylor the credit! I can't help but giggle at the look on his face! "I like that sound Ana, I want to hear it more" He says. We go down to the bar of the hotel for lunch and it is lovely! We head back up to the room with a plan to kill a few hours before we need to go to the airport. He was so soft and gentle, It was the most romantic he's been and it was AMAZING!

Later we leave the hotel to go and Meet Mr Grey senior, I look a bit of a mess. I don't think I can rock that 'look ive just had sex so I'm gonna be bright red for a while and my hair is going to be a mess no matter how I try to tame it' look. Christian says I look radiant but im pretty sure he'd say that even if i had a face covered in a large pus filled rash! We only wait five minutes for Mr Grey as he was in first class so is off the plane really quickly. He has his own security man with him, Ryan, that goes to get their luggage. Taylor leads us to the car.

"Dad I'd like you to meet Anastasia Steele, Anastasia I'd like to introduce my father Carrick Grey."

"Pleasure to meet you Mr Grey, Im Ana" I say politely holding out my hand.

"The pleasure is all mine Ana, please call me Carrick" He replies vigorously shaking my hand. He has a similar twinkle in his eye to Christian, and is very good-looking for an older gentleman.

"Right back to the hotel please I suppose I should try to sleep, even though I'm not tired in the slightest, I knew I should have brought your mother!" He winks at me and that wicked gleam twinkles in the night sky.

"Dad do you not want dinner first? Its only six o'clock!" Christian exclaims at his father.

"No son. I might get room service. I couldn't sleep on that plane so I am actually exhausted" He lets his façade slip a little as he yawns but quickly regains his composure. "Ana I would like to talk to you in the morning once we are at Christians house, If that's ok?" he asks

"Yes of course Mr Grey... I mean Carrick"

"Good" he smiles and nods at Ryan who is now carrying two holdalls. They walk up to the front desk together and get their keys. I sure as hell hope they are not in the room next to us I pity that poor sod because I have a lot planned for this evening!

We get back to the room quite late after having dinner in the city. It was the most amazing restaurant I've ever been to and the food was delicious! My appetite is not quite satisfied though. I lead him into the lift by his tie and im sure he can tell what I want.

"Oh Mr Grey" I purr, "I can't wait to get you into that room and have my wicked way with you" I let go of him and stand as far away as is possible in what feels like the worlds smallest lift! He eyes me carefully. I swish my hair over one shoulder and suck my finger suggestively I use it to rub my bottom lip, then I run it down my neck and into the chasm between my breasts. I can see his breathing rate changing and faltering. The lift doors open and I sashay out beckoning to him to follow. He quickly follows behind me and scoops me into his arms and carries me to our room. He gently places me in a chair and moves into the bathroom, I can hear the shower going on so I go to have a look. He is standing naked waiting for me. I look into those burning grey eyes and drop to my knees in front of him, without looking up I push him into my mouth, I suck and lick and roll him around in my mouth

"OH. FUCK! ANA!" He shouts. I go to pull away thinking I'd hurt him ony to feel him thrust himself back in when I try. Oh He likes it! I keep going twirling and flicking and sucking, he begins to thrust into my mouth deeper and deeper until he fills me, "Oh Ana I'm gonna come!" He screams as his salty fluid bursts into my mouth I think I'm going to choke but I don't I keep swallowing until every last bit is gone. He gently eases himself out of me. He looks down at me and says "Well Miss Steele I did not expect that! Do you not have a gag reflex?" I just smile and lick my lips.

"Your welcome Mr Grey. Now do you fancy a shower?" I raise my eyebrow suggestively "I'll wash you if you'll wash me!"

"Oh is that right Miss Steele? And how are you going to do that with one arm?" He asks. Damn this bloody cast it itches and it smells bad! He undresses me slowly then he bends down and picks up a plastic bag and tucks it into my cast. He scoops me up and walks under the water.

He gently places me on the floor and begins to wash me slowly and methodically. Its lovely his big soft hands caress me with body wash starting from my feet and working up. I've never felt so pampered! When I'm clean he washes my hair that feels good when he does it! It was not so nice when my Mum did it yesterday! I try to return the favour but we both realise that it isn't going to work so Christian gives himself a wash and switches off the tap. We stand staring at each other admiring one anothers bodies. I can't help but look down when his gaze is penetrating my soul!

"Oh Ana you are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure to lay my eyes on!"He breathes at me, I turn away uncomfortable in his gaze. He spins me back round. His eyes lock onto mine, his face contorted with confusion "Ana you ARE beautiful" He implores me. He stands me in front of the full length mirror, I shift about trying to wriggle away.

"Will I tell you what I see Ana?" I don't answer "I see a beautiful radiant woman, strong and confident with the most amazing body. You have a beautiful face dominated by the biggest bluest eyes I've ever encountered, eyes that can see into the darkest depths of my soul. A mouth with the plumpest lips I've ever had the pleasure to have known, the cutest little button nose and skin that looks like its made from the finest porcelain" His eyes drop lower and he continues with his monologue " Your breasts are soft and smooth with those fabulous nipples on the top" His hands feel round my nipples pulling and stretching them, I moan,"Your stomach is like silk to touch" he skims over it gently. "Now here is my favourite part of you" he says fondling my clitoris and gently inserting a finger I gasp in pleasure. I look into the mirror and see a wanton sexual woman staring back. I can't help but notice the difference Christian brings out in me, I actually don't look as bad as I thought! I smile at the realisation then grin like an idiot at Christian. He drapes a towel over me and dries me off I do the same for him. He takes my hand and leads me back to the bed.

He holds me tightly whispering things I cant hear into my hair. I look into those brilliant gray eyes and find myself uttering words I never thought I would say

"I love you Christian"

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**Oh so whats Christian gonna say about that then... he he he I already know! :)**

**CarrieJ**


	9. Love?

**A/N All characters belong to E.L. James**

**Please leave reviews it lets me know where I'm going wrong or what you'd like more of! Thank you to some fellow fanfictioners for all the support and advice! Kerry you keep me smiling :) Angie I love you the most! Big thanks to my hubby and kids for letting me get the time to write. I love you all x x x**

** I am working on a Christian chapter it's gonna consist of out-takes from previous chapters where you don't know where he's been and some phone calls while Ana is sleeping... First though Chapter 9!**

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"You LOVE me?" he sounds shocked "Really Ana you've known me for what? five minutes and you love me? You don't even know me!"

I wish the ground could open and swallow me! I had hoped he would return my feelings but instead he's turned into the caged animal fighting to get out.

"Oh Ana. What have I done?" He sounds regretful

"I can't help my feelings for you and I wont apologise for them! Christian you are the first man I have ever dated, I gave you my virginity surely you must have realised I wouldn't give that away to any Tom Dick or Harry?" I am bloody furious at him. "You have been the sweetest kindest man, you've held me when ive been upset, you stayed when I was hurt, you spent a week with my parents, some people would say you deserve a knighthood for that alone! That's what you have done! Oh and you have blown my mind in the fucking bedroom too, unless you'd forgotten" I'm screaming at him now. He wont even look at me he just sits there shaking his head sadly.

"Ana, there is something I need to tell you..." Oh no, ive seen too many films and read too much chick lit to know whats coming next, he can't leave me he just cant! "Did you ever wonder why I'm here?"

"What? I assumed you came to visit Elliot"

"No Ana, I didn't. I came here to escape my life, to be a nobody for a month or two."

"Oh gee ta so now im a nobody!" I glower angrily at him, standing with my hands on my hips.

"No Ana you're not a nobody, people like you just don't exist in my world" He states

"So what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I ..."he falters

"In fact don't bother Christian, I'll get my stuff and go then will I? Obviously you've been wasting my time!" I spit furiously.

"No Ana. Please, I don't want it to end like this" he begs quietly.

"Oh so you did want it to end thanks for the heads up! What was I just another notch on your bloody bedpost?" I'm seething with rage now. "You were right about one thing Christian I was deluding myself that I love you, You are some arrogant little rich boy who thinks your better than the rest of us! It's such a shame that the sweet caring you was all a façade to get me into bed. Do you get extra points at your private club if your 'nobody' conquest was a virgin? I bet Mummy will be so proud!"

"Don't be so fucking ridiculous Ana! I've never been anyone but me with you" He's starting to get angry now. His anger fuels mine.

"Pull the other on Grey, You just proved to me why all men are fucking pricks! And if you think I'm going to hang around to be your wee sex toy you can fuck right off!" I roar!

"Fine then, go if you feel like that. I should have guessed you'd be like this!" he spits angrily at me

"Like what?" I sneer.

"I bet you did know EXACTLY who I was. I mean even your parents had heard of me! What was I your meal ticket out of small village life Ana? Are you just another one of the gold digging whores that throw themselves at me all day everyday?" Did he just call me a fucking whore? Oh you are going to pay for that Grey!

"Don't you fucking dare!" I reach to slap him but he catches my wrist.

"I wouldn't do that Miss Steele, I don't think you could afford it" He hissed

"You pompous arrogant wanker! What the fuck did I see in you?" I ask myself more than him "I thought you were different Christian, I actually fell for all your bullshit." How naive was I? "But now I can see through you into your soul and do you wanna know what I see?" I really want to hurt him now. "Its fucking black and empty just like you! I hope you rot in hell Christian!" I hurriedly put on my clothes one-handed, bugger the bra I shove the dress over my head, pull on my shoes and cardigan grab my bag and coat and turn to him.

"Oh and you can tell your father I will meet with him tomorrow at my flat" With that I spin on my heel and am gone. I run along the hall and down the stairs. By the time I reach the bottom I can feel the floodgates threatening to open. I stop at reception to find out about taxis, it'll cost a fortune but I just want to go home. I'm in luck ther is a rank out the front.

I'm just about to step outside when Taylor appears beside me.

"Miss Steele?" he says to attract my attention.

"Yes Mr Taylor" I reply. Why is he following me? I just want to get the hell out of here!

"I have orders to take you wherever you want to go" He says kindly

"No thanks tell Christian to shove it up his self-righteous arse! Oh and Taylor I feel really sorry for you having to work with that man. If you want my advice I'd leave now before he corrupts you too" I reply in a sickly sweet voice.

"He's not the man you believe him to be Miss Steele" He says defensively

"Good bye Mr Taylor" I say turning away from him.

I run out the front door and into the car at the front of the taxi rank, I give him my address and we move off into the night. I put my head in my hands and I cry the whole way home.

When I arrive Kate is outside waiting. Either Elliot or Christian must have phoned her. She pays for the taxi and pulls me out the back seat into her arms.

"He's a self-righteous bastard!" I cry into her hair "He thinks im a fucking NOBODY" I wail

"Lets get you inside shall we, then we can have a chat." She says soothingly as she strokes my hair.

We walk into the livingroom and cozy up together on the couch while I tell her everything that happened including our break-up. I feel the weight of the world on me I now understand the two-phase post break-up plan a bit better! Kate lends me her fluffiest breakup PJ's and we climb into my bed together and go to sleep.

When I wake up in the morning I feel the full effects of Christian not being here. It's like a part of me has died, the flames of passion Christian had ignited in me have burned out all that's left is the ashes. I'm empty and hollow. I can hear Kate on the phone. She is shouting at someone.

"Yeah she came home last night" Oh she's talking about me, "She's devastated... He's a fucking arsehole... I don't give a shit that he's your brother... Don't give me that Elliot, She was completely innocent in all this,... Don't be fucking ridiculous Ana's not like that!... If that's the way you feel then you can fuck off too!" she slammed down the phone, just as she saw me.

"Sorry babe I didn't mean to wake you" She said

"Kate you can't fight my battles for me, don't let what happened between me and..." I can feel a lump rising in my throat at the thought of his name "Christian" I whisper "destroy what you have with Elliot! It's not his fault his brother thinks I'm gold digging scum!" I state glumly

"Well he shouldnt think it too! You're my best friend Ana I don't want to lose you for anything. Those Grey men have a lot of apologising to do! Oh the reason Elliot called was to tell me that Carrick is on his way over. He should be here in the next ten minutes or so."

"Oh great I'm really excited about this, NOT!"

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Would you mind Kate? I really don't think I can do this alone, I mean Cri..." I let out a little sob but quickly pull myself back together "I was never meant to do this alone" I quickly rephrase.

"Sure! What are best mates for?!" We head into the kitchen together to make up a tea-tray for Carrick's arrival. I make a pot of tea whilst Kate gets a plate of biccies ready I carry through the pot and three mugs and put it on out coffee table, Kate places the plate down too just as the bell rings.

"I suppose its time" I say

"I'll go let him in" She scoots off to get the door.

Kate comes back into the room first looking apologetic, oh no what now? She's followed by Carrick, then Christian. My heart falls into my boots. I don't even acknowledge his presence I sit on the chair nearest the tv with Kate and Carrick on the settee. Christian slumps into the other chair his eyes never leave me but I refuse to look at him.

Carrick asks me lots of questions and Kate too, He has an appointment to meet Ethan this afternoon so he is covering all the bases. It would appear he has had an in-depth chat with Christian too judging by some of the questions. I try to answer as many as I can but I still don't remember much. Kate knows much more than I thought though and answers lots of questions. He then reads me both of my statements, I am shocked that I don't remember but he reassures me that as I was drugged the evidence stands for its self without me remembering. He goes into great detail about the class action suit, I don't understand half of what he says but when he mentions compensation I stop him.

"I don't want money Mr Grey" I state. He gives me a long hard look

"You are entitled to it Miss Steele" I return his look

"That as may be but I don't bloody want it! Give it to charity or don't claim money for me I just want justice, I want him imprisoned for a very long time" I state

"As you wish Miss Steele, If you could sign this form here, here and here that will prevent you getting compensation now and in the future. I do not recommend this, and that will be noted and you must witness that too" He is very cold towards me.

"Fine whatever! Are we done now." I reply as icily

"Yes for now I will speak with Mr Kavanagh this afternoon" He says while he tidies his papers into his briefcase. "I will need your decision about the class action though, If you want him put away for a long time you will need to join"

"Yes I know that already Mr Grey, and I've made my decision. I will do it, on one condition"

"Yes Miss Steele what would that be?"

"I would like an apology from your son" I state simply. Christian looks appalled by the suggestion of such a thing.

"I'm sure that can be arranged, can't it Christian?" He says.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr Grey! I think you misunderstood. I meant Elliot" I state. Kate beams at me she understands why im doing this.

"Yes, yes of course Miss Steele we will be leaving now. I will send Elliot round" He looks perplexed by the entire exchange. Christian looks like he's going to explode! Oh well he deserves it him and his money bags father!

Elliot appears bang on lunch time. I am busy in the kitchen making lunch today we are having chicken and broccoli pasta with a cheese sauce. Its my version of comfort food, that and its easy to make! I don't hear the door so get the fright of my life when i feel a hand on my shoulder spinning me round.

"What the hell are you playing at?" nice apology!

"What?"

"Ana why are you being a class A bitch to my brother?"

"That is NONE of your business!" How dare he walk into my flat and pick a fight

"Oh I think you'll find it is!"

"Why is that then?"

"Because the stupid son of a bitch has left Ana. He went from here to the airport and got on the first plane to Seattle" Im dumbstruck. I didn't think he would really leave me. I thought we, oh I don't know what I thought but we've blown it now!

"I didn't know. It's not like I could have stopped him! He's turned into a right bastard and that was not my doing!" I shouted at him

"Ana you make him better! He IS an irrational son of a bitch, he does act like a complete brat when he doesn't get what he wants. Right now Ana he wants you and he can't have you, he is on full-scale self destruct!"

"Elliot, Im sorry if this sounds cold but you didn't hear what he said to me, I don't think I can help you"

"Jesus Ana! He said you were stubborn but have a fucking heart!"

"Yeah your brother is all that isn't he? Did Daddy send you round so he doesn't have to buy me off?"He stares at me incredulously.

"You really don't know do you?"

"Dont know what Elliot?"

"Who he is!"

"Yes I do he is an arsehole!"

"Not what I meant Ana! He's Christian fucking Grey! You know Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc?" I shrug so he continues "He's a fucking billionaire Ana! How did you NOT know?"

"He never said and anyway what does it change? He's still a complete wanker"

"Ana, jesus will you just listen before you pan the guy! He had a breakdown! A complete nervous breakdown, his company was on the verge of collapse! He nearly lost it all. Our sister Mia stepped in and took over at Grey House while Dr Flynn, his therapist took him to a psychiatric hospital in Canada. He came here when he was discharged. He didn't tell you any of that did he?" He says. I can feel my anger building, why didn't he just tell me?

"No he didn't fucking tell me instead he insulted me and called me a nobody! I told him I fucking loved him and he called me a NOBODY Elliot can you begin to understand how much that hurt?! I gave him my fucking virginity and he accused me of being a gold digger!" I yell unable to mask my feelings anymore. The tears are spilling down my face, "He broke me yesterday Elliot so don't come to me for help, I can't give you it."

He looks down

"He left you this" He hands me and envelope with my name on it.

_Dearest Ana,_

_I'm so sorry for my behavior. I have been awful. I promise you will never hear from me again what I have done is unforgivable, I played on your weakness to make myself stronger. I am truly sorry._

_Good bye forever my love_

_Christian x_

I can feel the hairs raising on the back of my neck something is wrong, something is very wrong!

"Elliot you need to find him. I think he's going to do something really stupid" I hand him the note he briefly reads it. His face turns ashen.

"Shit, we need to get on a plane now Ana. Will you come to Seattle? He needs you." Elliot begs. I look into his pleading eyes.

In that split second I make a decision that may change the outcome of my life forever.

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**Hope you liked it please leave a review**

**CarrieJ x**


	10. Christian Part One

**A/N All characters belong to E. L. James**

**Here is chapter 10 it's the first half of the story so far from Christians POV, there is another Christian Chapter to follow. I felt he needed more of a back story.**

**Enjoy...**

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SEATTLE

"I don't care, Do what the fuck you like Mia!" I yell. How the fuck dare she? I'm Christian Grey this is my company and she thinks she can just walk in and take over! I storm out of the meeting room and take the elevator back up to my office.

"Andrea, I need an appointment with Flynn as soon as possible!" I snap at my assistant.

"Yes Mr Grey" She is instantly on the phone. I stride by her and into my office, slamming the door behind me.

_**BEEP**_

Fucking intercom!

"What?" I snap

"Miss Grey is here for you sir" Andrea nervously replies.

"Tell her to fuck off!" I yell. Mia comes barging into my office with Flynn hot on her heels.

_**A FUCKING INTERVENTION? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!**_

"Christian, I think we should have a session with your sister, I think you need to hear her out" Flynn says

"When did I start paying you to decide what I did and didn't need to hear?" I snap. My fury is raging now one more thing and I'm gonna explode!

"Christian please." Mia says quietly

"Please what Mia? Sign over my company? Over my dead fucking body!"

"That's what worries me!" She replies.

"I think we should sit." Flynn beckons us towards my plush white couches.

"No I'm done" I stride out of the office hearing a chorus of 'Christians' and 'Mr Greys'. I wish they would all just fuck off!

I run down the stairs and out the front door. I ignore Taylor who wisely decides to keep his distance. I walk all the way back to Escala. I fume while I'm ascending in the elevator. I step out into my foyer. Sawyer opens the door. I stride past ignoring him. Gail is in the kitchen.

"Good afternoon Mr Grey can I get you something?" She asks. I don't mind Gail so I turn and head for my office ignoring her.

"Christian? Christian? Are you here?" Oh great! Who called my mother?! I don't reply I know Gail will tell her where I am anyway!

She bursts into the room. I am sitting slumped in my chair, with my head in my hands.

"What do you want mom?" I sob at her

"Oh honey I didn't want to believe them..." she tails off

"No Mom! I'm fine!" I struggle to breathe for the uncontrollable sobs let alone speak.

"Christian, you know I want what's best for you, don't you son?" She is trying to make eye contact so I divert my gaze from her. "John is here son, we have found you a facility that will help, it'll only be until you are well. I can't bear to watch this go on any longer. Your father has drafted the necessary paperwork for you to sign. If you won't then we will have you sectioned" She snapped firmly.

"No! I'm going nowhere!"

"Then I'm sorry son you've left us with no choice. John I need you" She shouted out the door.

"Christian you have left us with no choice other than to section you. I will accompany you to the Hospital. I am so sorry" Fucking Flynn how dare he! They must be kidding themselves if they think im just gonna walk out! I jump out of my seat and run into the living space. They seem to have predicted my reaction as Taylor and Sawyer are standing waiting for me. I'm trapped there is no way out. I look towards the balcony, I could jump then all this would be over, no explaining, no more therapy, whats the point of life anyway? I have no reason to hang around, no significant other no kids. Fuck it. I run to the door it's locked so I punch it with all my might, I see it splinter and bend but not break I punch it again and again. I feel nothing. I keep punching, I can see the blood splattered all down the glass but still I feel nothing, Its like there is a void in me. It's deep and its dark and I want to fall into it and be lost forever.

I don't even notice when Mom comes up behind me and injects a sedative into my arm. I still don't register the pain as I lurch forward and smack my face off the glass. The darkness swirls around me taunting me until it finally swallows me, giving me much longed for peace.

I am in the hospital for six months, I don't really remember the first few as they had me so drugged I was virtually comatose. I remember group therapy though. Why the fuck should I bother I don't want to be here. I am here against my will there is nothing wrong with me! My Mom visits every day, now there is a face I didn't want to see. She thinks I'm fucking crazy! But she keeps on coming, trotting out the same speech every time, crap about talking will make me better, how can it when there is nothing wrong. I have sessions daily with Flynn and some woman they talk about denial a lot, im not in denial there is nothing wrong. I notice the fog begins lifting from around me during the third month or is it the fourth? I only get pills now no injections anymore, I move rooms too. I share with Bobby, all he ever talks about is his pain in group, how he can't cope with his pain, I can't help shouting at him that I have pain too. I don't know where it came from but I can feel it. It's like ive been stabbed and I cry and cry, Flynn thinks it's a breakthrough, I don't understand.

"Why do I feel it John? It hurts so much! I don't know why!"

"Christian you have blocked the incident out that caused you this pain, you have it locked up tightly inside you and now it's time to let it go, you are safe here, everything you say to me is confidential. I have one question for you today. Why did you start seeing me Christian, what made you seek therapy?"

"I...I...can't remember..."I stammer, why can't I remember. I go into one of my rages and end up sedated in the padded room again, most of my sessions recently have ended like this. I just want to remember!

I've been stuck in this goddamned place for four? months now and I am beginning to remember bits about a brown-haired beautiful woman? I wonder what Flynn knows, so at our next session I tell him what I remember.

"Good Christian, your making brilliant progress, do you know how she is connected to you?"

"I was hoping you knew" I reply

"This is your journey Christian, you need to lead the way. I cannot help you with this." He sounds apologetic and for once im not angry I realise he's right.

"John, she is dead. The woman. She is gone." I breakdown in his office and sob and sob until I'm sick. The pain, oh the pain. I remember it all now. I fall silent and stare at him.

"Christian, are you ready to talk about this?"

"No"

We try again over the next few days until I walk in sit down and start talking.

"She was my girlfriend John. I loved her."

"What else do you recall" he prompts me

"Her name was Maria. It was a Friday afternoon, she called and said that she would be late coming over, she would probably be at Escala about eight thirty instead of our arranged six but that was OK I didn't mind, she said she could stay later on Sunday. When it got to nine I started to worry and got Taylor to track her cell. When he told me he'd tracked it to a hospital I knew. Before we could leave the Police arrived at the door. They told me that Maria had been in a car accident. It was a head on collision. The guy in the other car a Jack someone had walked away but my Maria had died at the scene." I broke down and sobbed for my love. I had only known her for three months but we were deeply in love.

"Do you know when this happened?"

"No, but it must have been a long time ago"

"Would it surprise you if I said it happened ten months ago?"

"Yes"

"Christian, we started grief therapy ten months ago. You became a recluse and a very angry man. You then became agoraphobic and could only make the journey to and from your office. You closed yourself up, You were there in body but that was all. Did you ever contemplate suicide Christian?"

"Yes, I wanted to escape into the void that had grown around me. I was empty and wanted to feel again."

"I thought as much. Tell me do you still feel suicidal?"

"No, I just feel very sad, and ashamed of myself."

"I think we have made enough progress for this session you need to rest and we can talk later."

I spend the next two months talking and healing. I never will forget Maria but now I can at least look at her picture without breaking down.

I'm glad when the time comes to leave the hospital. John has suggested a vacation for a couple of months, so I'm going to stay with Elliot. It really wouldn't be my first choice my brother and I are very different people, but he says Scotland is nice and it'll be good to get away from Mom!

Elliot meets me off the plane. He smells like a brewery!

"Yo, bro! How you doing?" He shouts at me

"Better" Oh fuck I see the press, fortunately Taylor is with me and manages to hide me from view.

"How do you fancy a night out tomorrow? I've got us a pair of girls, just keep your hands of the redhead she's mine, although the brunette is damn fine too!"

What an ass he's setting me up when I've just come out of a nervous breakdown caused by the death of my last girlfriend?

"Are you fucking serious?" I ask once we are safely in the car. Taylor got a SUV rental, it's ok but not as nice as the ones at home.

"What?" You need a night out Christian, Just because you're not on the market doesn't mean you can't go window shopping! And hell these girls are eye candy!" I roll my eyes at him. I know I can't win so it looks like a night out with Elliot.

"I could just about burst with excitement!" I say my voice bitter and dripping with sarcasm.

Jet lag is a bitch, I force myself to sleep, which, even with the aid of Flynn's pills is difficult but I manage. I get up around one the next afternoon. Elliot hasn't arrived yet so I call down to reception and order some food, then call Taylor and get him to check out this bar we are going to.

Elliot arrives just before six. Taylor has check this bar and it seems ok the barman has a criminal record for fighting but other than that I'm willing to check it out. We order some drinks, Elliot has a pint and I have a coke, It's not recommended to drink on my meds but Flynn says I can have the odd glass of wine. We sit and catch up with each other although he already knows everything about me! He tells me about his course and it sounds interesting I think I might find a way to fund some research to keep him here this country agrees with him a lot better than Seattle does! I have just sat back down with our second round when I hear her walking in. I see a vision in red strutting towards us, Elliot was right she is beautiful, but where is her friend. I look around again just in time to see a pale skinned brunette coming towards me, she seems to trip and I reach out and manage to catch her just before she hits the floor. I hold her there for what seems like eternity, staring into her bright shiny blue eyes.

"Wow" she says. I want to echo her sentiment but that would be rude.

"You must be Ana, I'm pleased to meet you." I say still locked into her eyes. It feels like she can see right to my soul, I feel naked standing holding her. I never want to let her go.

"You have me at a bit of a disadvantage here" She replies tactfully

"Oh! Of course how rude of me!" I stand her up, but keep my hands on her I don't want to lose that connection, I wonder if she can feel it too? I sit there beside her staring at her until her friend does the introductions. Anastasia, it suits her it's nearly as beautiful as she is. We sit quietly while her red-haired friend Kate talks and talks to Elliot. She should be a therapist or a journalist she could get blood out of a stone, Elliot has talked with her non stop!

Two men walk towards us one looks vaguely familiar but I can't place him. It's Kate's bother Ethan and his friend Jose, no I don't know a Jose, it's really annoying because im sure ive seen him before! It's not long until it's just the three of us around the table. I retreat to the bathroom as does Ana, when I come back I swear I saw Jose messing with the glasses, he looks and sees me watching.

"I was just moving the empties" He says with a fake southern drawl. I've heard better fakes in the movies! I still eye him suspiciously but Ana returns and sits between us. Jose uses the worst pick up line in history! I decide now is my chance I've learned with woman that its best just to ask straight out what you want so I say

"Would you accompany me to dinner Anastasia? I am staying at the Hilton" Jose looks fit to burst and I want to laugh at him. Ana looks stunned that I'd be so bold until he leans over and plays nice guy asking if she'd rather go with him! The nerve! When he adds the bit about staying in her apartment I want to punch his head in!

"Wow thank you guys but neither of you owe me a pity date, I'm fine." I look at her disbelieving. Pity? I don't ask a woman out because I feel sorry for them that cruel! I'm still thinking on what to say when I realise that Jose has beaten me to it, and she has accepted! Fuck!

I can't sit around and listen to this as they make plans I get up and go over to the bar. I watch her intently though, this girl has gotten under my skin. I can see she is sitting talking to herself, when she realises I can see she blushes the most perfect shade of rose. I can't let her leave with that oaf so I make my way over to her just as she is standing up. I see her sway a little then fall heavily to one side. I can't make it in time to catch her

"Ana?" I shout but her eyelids close. I pull out my cell and speed dial Taylor. He is in the bar in a matter of minutes.

I cant hold my ire

"You drugged her didn't you?" I shout

"No man don't be stupid" he says calmly

"I fucking saw you" I reach across and punch him square in the jaw, before long we are beating each other to a pulp. I hear Ana come up behind me trying to pull us apart.

"Get out of the way you stupid whore!" Jose spits at her as he punches her hard on the arm, I can hear the bones break.

I really let him have it. Taylor comes over and pulls me off just as the police arrive. Ana is nowhere in sight, neither are Elliot, Ethan or Kate. I hope she is safe I need her safe! Jose Taylor and myself all get taken to the station, I get a caution and Taylor gets let go. He assures me that Ana is safe and that Elliot and Ethan took her home but I won't be satisfied until ive spoken to her myself. I pull out my cell and call Elliot. He says she's a bit bruised but fine she's sleeping now. I need to get to her but I want to know what is going on with Jose. That bastard deserves to rot for this! Taylor finds out that the police are going to hold on to Jose as his fingerprints have been matched on Interpol. He warns me I won't like tis but I press him to continue. He says he was using a false I.D. and tells me his real name. I fall to my knees where I stand and sob.

He's Jack Hyde the bastard that killed my Maria and walked away!

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**Hope you enjoyed leave me a review. The next Ana chapter will be coming soon probably chapter 11 or 12**

**Carriej x**


	11. Christian Part Two

**A/N: Characters belong to E. **

**Hope you're enjoying Christians angle. I think it's worth it... I am also considering a rewrite of chapter one as it's rubbish and doesn't really set up the story at all...thoughts on that? Thank you for the lovely reviews they keep me inspired to write more. Anyway enough rambling on here is chapter 11**

**Enjoy...**

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I need to get to Ana! Hyde is in jail and i'll make sure he gets whats coming to him, Dad is already on the case. Welch did a security check and uncovered some seriously dodgy shit! I enlighten Elliot on the phone, it's morning now and ive been up all night, but he needs to know to keep Ana safe.

"Hey Elliot, how's Ana?" I try to hide how anxious I am but it obviously doesn't work.

"Shes awake now" he's speaking quietly so I know he must be near her

"Is someone with her?"

"Kate" he replies. Obviously her best friend does actually care for her!

"Elliot you need to make sure she eats! She needs her strength, especially when she finds out that bastard's plan. You can't tell her what I tell you, what has she remembered?"

"dinner" oh this is going to be fun one word answers!

"She was drugged, ive seen the police report. He had a room set up..." I really don't want to tell him this, I can feel the bile rising in my throat

"room?" He sounds as disgusted as I feel!

"Yeah it was like some perverted sex dungeon its been used before, they found videos..." I can't continue fortunately Elliot bursts into my sentence.

"Fuck! cameras?that's..." Even he is struggling to comprehend it.

"Yeah scary I know. She had a bloody close escape. She doesn't need to know too much though..." I don't want him to tell her I need to be there I need to keep her safe. I couldn't protect Maria but I can protect Ana.

"Gotta go bro talk laters" he says abruptly. Ana must want him or Kate, or maybe me?

"Yeah I'm getting a cab. I'll be there soon. Laters" I just want to hold her.

I hang up and seek out Taylor. He has got us a cab. He gives the man Ana's address and we head round.

When we arrive Ana is passed out on the couch. I pick her up and carrier to her bedroom placing her tiny frame on the bed gently. She moans in pain, it rouses her from her slumber. "Hey Anastasia" I say. She stares into my eyes looking slightly confused.

"Hey, I mean, thank you!" she replies. I look her over she has big ugly bruises on her exposed flesh, I dead to think what the rest of her body looks like

"Why would you thank me Anastasia? I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, I didn't do anything really."Nice try Grey that was really smooth...

"Well first I never thanked you for saving me from face planting when I first arrived, and I am led to believe that I have you to thank for saving me from Jose, I mean Jack" She gazes up at me earnestly. She's making me uncomfortable, I mean anyone else would have done the same.

"Like I said I just did what anyone else would have done in my situation" I hope she lets this drop.

"Erm... what time is it? and how did I get here?" Her doey eyes looking trustingly at me.

"Its 1 in the afternoon, and I brought you through I thought you'd be more comfortable in here than half off the couch in your lounge." I reply slightly sarcastically I can feel a smile tugging at my lips just as she groans again. "Have you seen a Doctor Anastasia?" I try to hide the anger I hope someone amongst this bunch has taken her for medical attention.

"No. I don't think so, I was unconscious though..." She trails off. I'm bloody furious, she needs to see a damn doctor. I'll get her the best in the bloody country! I scoop her off the bed and she snuggles into me lightly laying her head on my chest.

"Elliot?" I practically scream through the apartment. He's no doubt fucking her flat mate but I don't care Anastasia is my only concern right now.

"Yeah?" Oh surprise surprise his voice is muffled and coming from Kate's room!

"I'm taking Ana to get checked by a doctor ive got my cell if you need me." not that he will call. I'll phone him if there are any problems!

"Yeah OK I'll keep Kate safe then" his horniness really knows no bounds! I bet he hasn't even stopped during our conversation! I pull out my cell and speed dial Taylor.

"Outside in two minutes then to the clinic have a doctor ready to see her"

"That was a bit rude!" she says looking indignantly at me. Taylor is staff I pay him an exorbitant amount of money to be at my beck and call, I explain simply to her.

"No Ana that was efficiently getting to the point! I'm taking you to a doctor to make sure your Okay I feel slightly responsible for this. If I hadn't been an arrogant ass last night you'd have gone out with me and we wouldn't be in this situation now!" I practically shout at her! I don't want to frighten her. I hope she gets how sorry I am, the guilt is killing me. Jack Hyde is not going to steal another woman from me! I look down and she's smiling, I can't help but smile back. She is the most adorable woman! Her smile is infectious! Taylor interrupts our moment.

"Mr Grey" he says. I'm annoyed he interrupted us so I snap at him.

"Taylor, I trust the doctor is waiting?" he looks slightly caught off guard by my tone.

"Yes sir" He helps me get Ana into the car. Her face giving away the pain she's in. Taylor gets in and moves off.

"Christian we'll need to go to A&E we wont get to see a doctor any other way." She seems to be getting a bit worked up, I try to calm her. Money can buy you quite a lot, including decent medical care when you need it!

"Oh Ana, how little you know!" I say slightly shaking my head at her naïvety.

Out of nowhere she starts hyperventilating and shakes.

"ANA?" I shout trying to snap her out of it. She fades out of consciousness.

"Mom I need your help" I shout into the phone

"Yes darling?" She sounds concerned, and a bit sleepy, I hate time zones

"Mom it's Ana she started shaking and hyperventilating and now she's unconscious!" I scream

"Ana?"

"Mom no time to explain, what do I do?"

"It sounds like a panic attack, get her to a hospital as soon as you can"

"Thanks Mom, I gotta go"

"I love you son"

"Me too."

I hang up. Ana begins to come round. She is thrashing about, uncoördinated, and obviously disoriented.

"Ana?" I say worriedly.

She looks at me with feral eyes. I don't recognise this woman. She pounces on me hitting and slapping me as hard as she can.

"You bastard, if you think your touching me you're very much mistaken!" Oh fuck she's having some kind of flashback.

She moves for the door, she is trying to get out. I know I shouldnt but I grab her slender arms and wrap my tie round them to stop her hitting me, then I push her back into the seat and belt her in. I place my legs over her lap so she can't move. She lets out a bloodcurdling scream

"Get off me you giant oaf!" She bellows.

"Ana I'm taking you to the hospital." I try to reason with her. She lashes out scraping her nails down my neck. I push her hands down.

"Behave Ana! I'm trying to help!" I say softly. She sways gently and her eyes begin to roll then she goes limp in my arms again. I remove the tie from her wrists and hold her hands.

Taylor pulls up at the emergency entrance. I carry Ana out and place her onto the waiting gurney, explaining that she became violent in the car. They wheel her in and take vial upon vial of blood, she doesn't waken. I have Taylor call her family and arrange for them to be brought in. I wont leave her bedside. I sit beside her holding her hand, stroking her beautiful face gently.

"Oh Ana, wake up" I beg, quietly.

"Who are you and why are you sitting with OUR daughter? I look into a pair of hostile blue eyes.

"You must be Mr and Mrs Steele I assume. I'm Christian Grey." I introduce myself making no attempt to move or let go of her hand.

"Well Mr Grey, I must thank you for getting Ana to hospital and bringing us here, but I would like to spend some time with.."

"Mr Grey, Mr and Mrs Steele, I'm Dr Williams. I'm taking over Ana's case now at Mr Grey's request. Ana is in a medically induced coma at the moment as she has suffered some head trauma we want to get a MRI and a CT scan to see the extent of the damage we also will be x-raying her arm as we believe she has a fracture of her radius. We have done blood tests and found traces of drugs in Ana's system, the police have received the samples."

"Drugs? He gave her drugs?" Mrs Steele says pointing to me!

"No, Mrs Steele! I can assure you I did not! I can't tell you but the police will be in and they will inform you of the circumstances. I can only tell you Ana was attacked and fainted in the pub." I can't tell them that their daughter was nearly drug raped!

The atmosphere in the room was tense for the next couple of hours, until after the police came. I could hear Mrs Steele crying in the hallway. I couldn't help but feel guilty, I could have prepared her better. We all sat in silence after that just staring at Ana and waiting. They came and took her for test after test, Carla Steele and I always went with her. Her father preferring to wait in her room. I felt so helpless waiting. Then after a few hours Dr Williams returned

"Ana has some slight brain swelling caused by a skull fracture, she will be fine but will need constant monitoring until she's awake, and at least a weeks worth of IV antibiotics to prevent any infection. She also will be getting a cast on her left arm as she has broken her radius but it wont need operated on. Which is good news. Ana is going to be ok." She reassures us.

"Thank you Dr Williams. When is she getting her own room?" I ask

"She is going to the ICU in the next hour and she will have her own room." She smiles at me.

"Will I be able to stay with her?" Her mother asks

"That is not normal hospital policy" she says looking at me "however I'm sure an exception can be made." I know I won't be allowed to stay in the room so I have already arranged to stay elsewhere in the hospital.

I sit with her from 8 in the morning when they let me in till 11 when they put me out so that I'll eat. Then they let me back in at 1 till 5 when they force me out again. I'm allowed back in at 6.30 till 11. I always bring back food for her parents as Carla never leaves the room, and Ray is always floating nearby never wanting to be in the way but always managing it!

She looks so small hooked up to all the monitors, her brown hair having lost its shine and lying lankly by her head, her skin has taken on a deathly pallor and her lips have gone pale pink and dry, yet somehow she still looks radiant. I know she shouldn't but she does, she radiates beauty! I sit with her mother and just stare at Ana, holding her hand and caressing her face. Her mom brushes her hair daily and arranges it on the pillow framing her face.

Three days I wait, three days before she wakes. Even then I'm not in the room! Her Dad comes to tell me. I run up the familiar hallway toward her door, I pause then knock before looking round the door. I am stopped by the nurse and handed a cup of water for her.

"Miss Steele, I heard from your father your awake I hope you don't mind me coming up to see you. Hello again Mrs Steele." I cant wait to hear her beautiful Scottish lilt.

"Carla!" She says insistently "Please call me Carla, Mrs Steel is my mother-in-law!" She beckons me over to sit in the seat she has just vacated. Before kissing her daughter and leaving the room. I sit and place the cup on the table. She eyes it longingly.

"Miss Steele? My name is Ana!" She says sternly. That wasnt exactly the welcome I'd been hoping for. I pick up the cup and place the end of the straw between those beautiful plump lips.

"Yes I know that, I was being polite Anastasia! I hope you aren't this grumpy all the time and that it's just the drugs talking!" I joke.

"I do apologise Mr Grey!" She says still gulping greedily on the straw. "However I am grateful you brought me here and called my parents, and I prefer Ana" she looks humbled. She looks away and spits the straw out. I place the cup on her table. She looks me over as if assessing me, I know I don't look my best but I'm ok. She turns to look at me just as she dribbles slightly from the corner of her mouth. I take out my handkerchief and dab her mouth. "Thankyou" she murmurs quietly, obviously embarrassed.

"You're welcome! You really gave me a fright in the car Anastasia!" I tell her.

"I, uh, don't remember that, can you tell me what happened?" She looks confused, and unsure

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" I ask

"Yes"

"Well I carried you from your apartment to the car, you made some comments about not knowing about the NHS, Do you remember that?" I ask

"Kinda, I suppose, yes the bald guy was going the wrong way!" Nice description I'm not sure Taylor would be flattered by that. I repress the urge to smile.

"Yes, you believed Taylor was going in the wrong direction, then you seemed to pass out, you quickly came back round and tried to open the car door and jump out. Sorry I had to restrain you, and you lost conciousness again but this time you wouldn't wake up, I thought I'd hurt you. I'm sorry I got you here and got you this room and the best doctors in the country to look after you." I can't hold it back from her, she could tell if I was lying.

"How did I attack you?" She pushes me for more.

"Well, you tried to hit me and scratch me, but it's fine Ana. I'm a big boy you didn't hurt me." I smile this time.

"I'm feeling tired again now could you leave?" I hide my hurt at her request.

"Yes of course! I didn't mean to overwhelm you Anastasia, I just want you better. The doctor will be in soon to check you I let her know you are awake" I say before her eyelids begin to flutter closed.

"Yeah... sure... I'll see you later?..." She breathes as she falls asleep. I cant help myself I bend over and kiss her forehead lightly. I sit with her a short while longer and Dr Williams enters the room. I ask her to let Ana sleep and she obliges me. She checks all the monitors and makes notes before disconnecting them and getting a nurse in to remove them entirely. She tells me how well she's doing and that her progress is much further on that she thought it would be. She tells me she will be in for about a week and need further scans to make sure her brain is back to normal. I'm overjoyed! The nurse shoos me out and I meet Ana's mom in the corridor I update her on Ana's progress and she seems pleased. She hugs me and tells me to go and eat.

I return later with Elliot and Kate. Ana is in a much better mood! She is even eating! Elliot and Kate go off for lunch and I sit with Ana and try to encourage her to eat. She presses me for information about myself, im not willing to share, but by god she is so sweet innocent and bloody alluring! I kiss her, deeply exploring every part of her mouth and wanting more, I can feel myself being drawn into her, longing for her, to savour her in her entirety. It's not in her best interests however so I pull back. Her nurse disturbs us anyway. I encourage her to eat only to find her looking at me carnally with great intent. She has the cheek to send me for a shower! I know I haven't left but am I really that bad?

I walk into her en suite and find a shower cubical, Taylor has brought me in clothes and I find towels on the rail. I Look at myself in the mirror and oh! I look a mess! I strip and get under the streaming water. It caresses my body the way I imaging Ana would, It laps and strokes at my body, heating the flames of passion Ana built with that kiss.

I cant help being so turned on right now only thoughts of Ana racing through my mind imagining her naked body, those delicious looking breasts. I can feel a throb, I grab myself and stroke hard and fast thinking of Ana and what I'd like her to do to me. I can feel the pleasure ripping through me as I orgasm intensely. I wash myself down and get out. I quickly dress, slightly embarrassed I let the moment take me. I hope she didn't hear me.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed there will be a part 3 to come!**

**CarrieJ x**


	12. Christian Part Three

**A/N: Characters belong to E. **

**So here it is Chapter 12 eventually, sorry it took so long I was out on a hen night and came home worse for wear and I can't write with a hangover..**

**Enjoy...**

* * *

I hate seeing her in here! She looks so fragile in that huge bed with that enormous cast on her arm. I come in everyday, and sit with her. When I kiss her it's like our lips touch and sparks fly! I could do it all day! I finally know when she will be released so Ray and I will take her back to her apartment although both of us wanted her to stay with her parents. Carla is always shuffling about nervously, plumping pillows, or straightening the covers. I can imagine that my Mom would be the same! II have made Dr Williams scan her brain everyday just to be sure she hasn't missed anything. I can't have her hemorrhage on me! The afternoon of discharge comes around quickly. Ray and I carry her to my SUV Taylor drives, Ray sits up the front and Carla and I sit either side of Ana. She is anxious to get home and boy do we get a surprise!

"Ana!" Kate lunges for her, whist wearing a PVC nurses outfit! Now I know my brother is a kinky bastard! "I'm gonna be your nurse and look after you!" She giggles excitedly. Poor Ray looks like he's going to have a heart attack. I cannot look at her! I knew she was feisty but meeting you best friends parents in bondage?

"Uh, Hi Kate!" Even Ana is startled, then she looks at her mum, then to her Dad then to me and all three of the women start to laugh at us! I have to put on a show of manliness so I scoop her off the floor and carry her to her bedroom

"Oh, You shouldn't be doing that! Don't drop her!" Carla shouts worriedly following me into the room and watching like a hawk as I place her on the bed.

"Get some rest Ana." I say before kissing her, Her mother keeps making noises in the background so I prolong the kiss much to Anas embarrassment! Tha t radiant blush rises up her face making her glow. "We have our trip tomorrow as promised." I blow her a kiss as I leave the room, I can hear her mother saying that she shouldnt be doing anything until she has her cast off... yeah that was never going to be an option! I don't see why she is grumbling we have to go there for dinner anyway!

I arrive promptly at 10 in the morning. This day has been planned down to the second! Well, apart from THOSE moments you just can't time that, IF she wants it to happen that is. First I got a car, nothing too fancy it's a sporty little Audi TT I've always fancied one so I went to the nearest dealership and bought it. I'll give it to her when she's better. I had to book a nice hotel and I remembered some chats we had during her hospital stay about the town she live near so I booked the nicest looking hotel I saw online. She also talked romantically about Stirling Castle so I booked it for the morning from 10.30 till 12 it's at our disposal, I can't wait to see her face! I'm just nervous in case it's too much or she doesn't like it. I know my nerves are unfounded when I see the look on her face as she sees the Audi. I cant wait to get going, I just want this to be a day that we will remember forever. I put on some music as im not much of a conversationalist while im driving. She asks me about one track that comes on. Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, I tell her its my favourite and fortunately she asks me no more she closes her eyes and sways beside me, I can feel a silent tear roll down my cheek for Maria, she loved this song any time we went out she put it on repeat! It was played at her funeral and those lyrics tell the story of my life now, I want Ana to know who I am or was before I met her but only her. It's amazing not once has she said anything about the money, even Maria was curious about that, she came right out and asked what my net worth was! I gave her a rough estimate and she never said anything about it again. Ana just doesn't care about it at all, I've never met a woman who looked at me first then my money or only at me?! I mean we had that one chat about me always getting my own way, i think she called me spoilt! We are not to far away when she starts asking me questions, I don't like personal questions I never have so I answer as succinctly as possible and move on.

We take the turn off the motorway towards her town and her eyes begin to glow. I keep driving towards the town centre, turning up a steep cobbled street, fuck a TT suspension doesn't like this! Ana grimaces but says nothing. We keep driving up until we get to the castle esplanade, We are one of two cars parked here, just us and Taylor, who will be positioned at the castle entrance to prevent anything ruining this for her. I take her hand and walk towards the castle and the awaiting tour guide. Ana giggles and follows me. When we reach the guide Ana sends them on their way and begins her own private tour, I can tell she's done this before as she tells me quirky facts about the castle some of which include herself and Kate and what they got up too! She leads me this way and that before taking me to the great hall. It is an astounding place and I can see Ana change in this room, she carries herself differently she glows, it's as if she has some connection to this room, she looks majestic. She is completely lost in a daydream as she runs her fingertips along the walls and stares up at the beautiful hand crafted ceiling. I wish I knew what she was thinking. She snaps back into tour guide mode and pulls me out of the room taking a long look back almost as if she is taking a picture of it and storing it in her mind. We walk out into the gardens. Strolling and chatting about nothing of any great significance, we share our favourite things and places with each other, she tells me that this is her favourite place so I think I may have got today right! I just hope she likes the rest. I have lunch booked at the hotel so I lead the conversation that way and she's hungry, so I get moving. We head to the car park and i throw the keys at Taylor, he assures me that the hotel is within walking distance. We stroll down the hill with Ana still telling me little facts. She let's out an audible gasp when we stop at the hotel. I pull her in behind me and check in, she looks around fascinated, I don't think she's been here before! We receive the key and the usual information, I see Ana's eyes light up at the mention of the word spa! I do a quick check with Taylor that everything is the way I want it, that there are condoms in the drawer should the need arise and that Ana's toiletries are in the bathroom and that the clothes are all arranged. I spot the stairs and drag her up, I hunt down the hotel room and throw open the door she runs in absorbing all the information her eyes are giving her. I follow behind closing the door softly. She turns to look at me with flames of passion burning in her eyes!

I kiss her with all that I have to give. She lets out the most pleasing moan, I dive in deeper and deeper with her eagerly reciprocating, she is the most intoxicating woman I have ever known, I feel giddy just by being near her! SHe rakes her hand through my hair and I can feel my self-control slipping, I nudge her back toward the bed. She breaks our kiss and stares into my eyes, setting fire to my soul and cleansing me.

"Christian" she pants, she makes my name sound so sexy "I'm a virgin"

"What?" I want to make sure I did not just hear that!

"I'm a virgin" She says looking slightly guilty.

"Fuck Ana, you could have picked a better time to bloody tell me!" I am not angry at her but hell she does have a timing issue! "Did you not think about where this was going?" Have I read this wrong? Is she still going round the bases while I think I've hit a home run? "I thought you wanted this too?" Oh if there is a god please let her want this. I am ready to explode with excitement, every touch of her hand every peck on the cheek every long lingering kiss that we have shared today has pushed me to the edge, but can I take her virginity?

"I do want to Christian! I just thought you should know" She sounding more sure of herself but I still think that there is a bit of hesitation there.

"Tell me something Ana, why me?" FUCK! It's about the money, she's gonna be the girl who lost her virginity to Christian Grey, the press will have a field day and then it'll all come out the psychiatric help all of it... No Ana can't be like that Anas different. I feel different when I'm with her. Tell me Ana, I silently beg as I pace around the room, tell me you're different.

"What? Christian I've not met any other men that attract me the way you do, I thought you knew this! I mean we have spent every day together since we met!" She sounds pissed. "Two minutes ago it was fine to have sex with me if I wasn't a virgin but because I am it's not? And you've got a bloody cheek to be angry with me if anything I should be mad at you for your double standards!" Oh crap Ive overreacted. I can't blame her for being angry I do have double standards!

I move toward her and lay her on the bed I move over her and kiss her with a carnal desire. I have waited so long to touch her sumptuous little body I'm like a kid in a candy store I feel her everywhere. I Brush her hair away and nibble her perfect earlobe, she moans and wriggles beneath me. I move down and caress her neck planting little kisses on it. I move my way over and back up the other side nibbling that earlobe too before finding her plump lips again.

I reach down and grab the hem of her top. I gently tease it up and over her head, She has on a really cute little bra with embroidered spots it looks like she made herself, it gives me an idea for later! I lean off her and gaze at the expanse of exposed flesh. She moves so she is sitting so I help her remove her top from the cast and then I reach back and pull off that fabulous bra too. She is flushed and very excited by the whole thing, her skin is glistening, her nipples are firming up and her cheeks are gloriously rosy! I eye those pert little nipples, kissing and nibbling her neck as I move to them. I look up to her for permission to continue. She nods and gives me a sexy smile, I give her the patented white teeth Hollywood smile.

"Are you sure Ana?" I quirk up an eyebrow, I want her to beg me sometime maybe she'll oblige today...

"Yes, although I am feeling a bit exposed and your completely covered..." She laughs flirtatious. "Impressive Mr Grey!" She reaches up and strokes my chest. Her touch does something to me that has never happened before. I feel my skin tingle and come alive.

"I could say the same Miss Steele" I reply leaning forwards kissing her breasts.

I nudge my way round spiraling in towards her nipple kissing, sucking nipping and flicking her glorious flesh. Those pert little nipples are a joy to pull and suck. I tease one with my hand while I pleasure the other. I switch over to the other side, her body quivers under my touch. She sits up and I kiss her hard on the mouth. I lower her back down kissing her the entire time. I move my hands from her nipples down her body stroking her soft stomach flesh. I unzip her jeans and slide them down revealing her sexy slender thighs. I kick of my own trousers, dumping them on the growing pile of discarded garments. I tease her panties down and stroke my hands leisurely up her thighs skimming over her clitoris not sensitizing it yet... I kiss her ferociously my unbridled passion coming to the fore. She starts fumbling with my underwear, hitting me with the cast as she does. I rip them off myself, I catch her reaction and give her a cheeky wink. She runs her good hand down my front even slightly pulling my nipples, she goes exploring lower and lower, I hold her gaze and continue to kiss her as if my life depends on it. My hands to roaming around on her to, she has a lovely little bottom I could caress it all day long, hell I like to stare at it too! SHIT!

"Jesus Ana, too hard, are you trying to break it off? You know its attached don't you?" Fuck my little general is gonna be wounded before the battle at this rate!

"Oh my god I'm sorry Christian!" she is genuinely upset, I smile at her reassuringly.

She looks up at me with that innocent pale face, those large ruby lips and those blue eyes that are my undoing. I roll her onto her back and climb on top pressing against her heated body. She pulls her hands through my hair, I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation that is Anastasia Steele. She pulls my head down closer to hers I can feel her warm breath on my face, I hear her swallow then I feel her lips hard on mine, and her delicate little tongue pushing its way forwards I open my eyes pleasantly surprised by little Miss Steele! I open my mouth and let her in, knowing that what im about to do will just about tip her over the edge. I skim my hand down over her breasts, down over her stomach and down to her pleasure center, I skip over it and feel her thighs then I move back up to her hips, her eyes flutter closed, so I move in and begin to feel her, I gently stroke her, I can hear her breathing change and quicken. I circle round and round still never quite touching. She screws her eyes keeping them closed and I move in I rub over her clit once then twice, her hips wriggle and dance, her back arches slightly and I know she's too sensitive to take much more without orgasming. I move away from her clit towards her warm welcome opening, I cant resist it so I slip in a finger and I am rewarded she is so moist and tight.

"Oh Ana you're so ready for me!" I cant help but say, as I remove my finger. Just to see her reaction I put it in my mouth and suck her sweet juices from it, she tastes like the best champagne in the world. "Are you ready?" Oh boy I hope she is! I couldn't contain myself if she said no.

"Yes" I hear her wanton abandon.

"I'll be gentle but it will hurt Ana" I give her another opportunity to change her mind. She doesn't seem bothered so I reach over and grab a condom. Thank god for Taylor! These situations would be so much trickier without him! I pinch the tip and roll it down, Ana is watching my every move, next time I'll let her put it on so that its pleasurable for both of us.

I lie over her, holding her gently, I want this to ba a good memory for her. I slide in gently, she makes no noise. I have to push a bit harder to get all the way in. She grips my ass hard. I'm being as gentle as I can with her but this has to be sore. She looks at me and groans. was that in pain or pleasure?

"Are you ok Ana?"

"Yeah it's just...wow"

Wow?! I guess that's good! I really just want to fuck her hard, I have done since I met her but I go slowly and gently, I want to savour this moment too. She is so tight! I go a bit faster as her body is giving me all the signals of her impending orgasm. I thrust hard and fast into her. She screams, loudly

"OH FUCK, OH, OH, MMMMMMMMMMM, CHRISTIAN!, AAARRGGGHHH!"

Oh man she vibrates and tightens with every wave of orgasm, and she screams her way through it all screaming my name, its enough to tip me over too and I can feel her milking me for all im worth taking everything I have to offer. I come gloriously shouting her name too.

"ANA, OH ANA!" I pant as I come back down and collapse on top of her. I gently ease myself out of her and roll onto my back beside her. That's the best fucking orgasm ive ever had!

"Wow Ana, are you sure that was your first time? You were amazing!"

"Certain, I'm sure I'd remember an event like that!" Good she felt it too then! I sit up and remove the condom. I head over to the bathroom door and shout back to her.

"Do you want a shower Ana?"

"Erm yeah... I suppose I should" She yawns at me.

I go and put it on and come out of the bathroom to find her lying beautifully naked and entirely asleep. I cover her over.

"Rest now baby." I go for a quick shower then snuggle up behind her.

I am awoken by the shrill ring of my cell

"Grey" I bark, not happy about the intrusion into my private time.

"Christian, the UK press have seen you out with some girl, I've paid them off for now but make Taylor more vigilant. Oh and I need to know who she is and I want a copy of her non disclosure agreement."

"Fuck off Mia, your** TEMPORARILY** running** MY** company, **NOT** my life!"

"She must be special Christian I've seen the pictures, you're smiling in all of them, I havent seen you smile since..., in a long time!"

"She is none of your business Mia. The press will not get anymore shots. Taylor is already on it" I snap and hang up on my beloved sister.

She calls again, I ignore it she keeps ringing so I switch the damn thing off. I look around and see its 2.30. Shit we missed lunch! I phone room service and tell them to send up two bowls of soup and a small a sandwich platter with every filling they have so at least I'll know she's eaten something! I also order some decaf teabags for her. I waken her after the food arrives.

"Ana, come on! Wake up! You need a shower and you haven't eaten all day!" I jostle her on the bed

"Huh? What? Did I...?" she mumbles

"Yes Ana you fell asleep. I got the shower ready and came to get you but you were out so I took one and let you rest." she looks slightly embarrassed. "Room service has just delivered lunch as we missed our reservation. You need to eat then have a shower we have to be at your parents house in an hour!" I remind her. She surveys what I have got for her and looks questioningly at me.

"I didn't know what you'd like so I got a small selection of everything." I shrug.

She eats quickly, its nice to see, she must have really hated the hospital food! When she's done she rushes off for a shower. I hear her shout something but I don't quite make it out so I go to check.

"Everything ok?" I cant help but gawk at her body.

"Uh, yeah" she mutters blushing profusely again.

"I got this for you, Its to cover your cast with." I say as I hand her a plastic bag.

"Thanks." Her feet must be really interesting as she can't stop staring at them!

"Anastasia? Is something wrong?" She ignores me, I hope she's ok with everything I know losing your virginity is different for a girl. "Look at me" I ask. Her eyes sweep up from the floor and straight into mine, I can see her pupils dilating and see her breath quicken. "Stop looking at me like that, you need to get in the shower and get dressed before we head to your parents house" She stands there and keeps staring at me her desire now overwhelmingly obvious! "Ana! Not just now! Get in the shower!" I command. I cant help but let out a little laugh, as she is muttering to herself about cold showers!

She isn't in long and it becomes clear why, very quickly. She has a towel on but isn't very dry. It must be hard to dry and dress with only one fully functioning arm! I smile and shake my head when she stops to drink her tea first! I hand her the bag of clothes I got her including my special order bra and panties, I can't believe Taylor found someone to do it that quickly. She pulls them out first and smiles I think she gets what ive done, or at least I hope she does! She doesn't ask for my help as i thought she would she just starts trying to do it all by herself. She nearly manages the panties, I go over and lend a hand, I cant bear seeing her struggle! I move on and help with her bra, then I pull on her black skinny jeans, round over that lovely ass, I give it a small stroke as I do. This is making me horny as hell but we are on a serious deadline to get to her mom and dads. Finally i cover her top half with a pretty jade green fitted t-shirt and a long black cardigan.

"New clothes?" She asks nodding towards me

"Yep, ready to go?" I reply

"I just need to grab my handbag then I'm all yours" I smile at her and she returns it with her own. She rummages in her purse then moves to the door.

"After you Miss Steele" I bow my head and hold the door open.

"Why thank you Mr Grey" she curtseys to me and I cant resist pulling her in for a long slow kiss full of intent, her eyes instantly light up.

"Later Miss Steele" I promise.

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**OK I know I said I would only write two of christians POV I just need to get him to the point that Ana has reached from chapter 9 You need to know what this does to his fragile mental health...**

**If you liked review and let me know!**

**CarrieJ x**


	13. Christian Part Four

**A/N: All characters belong to E.L James**

**Thanks to all my FSOG group on facebook and all my followers and reviewers, If you are my friend on facebook you will see pictures of the wallace monument and Stirling castle, if your not my friend add me Carriej Fanfic or im on twitter carriej56 fanfic. Thanks for your continued support.**

**Enjoy...**

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We make our way out to the car. I have Taylor on standby on the street with the SUV waiting. He opens the door and she gets in I jump in behind her. I think now is the time to tell her about Maria and what happened with Hyde and how it's connected.

I jump slightly when I hear music coming from Ana's purse. She blushes and pulls out her cell.

"Hello?...Oh hi Kate!" She looks embarrassed.

"Erm.." she drops her eyes to her lap and drops her voice slightly. I can guess what Kate is saying! "yeah, Can I phone you back later im on my way to Mum and Dads at the moment... Bye Kate" She looks up at me."It was Kate"

"I'd guessed" I reply smiling.

I am just about to start talking again when for the second time her cell goes off! What are the chances!

"

Hello?" She asks, then sits silently as all the colour in her face disappears, she drops her cell and looks faint. Her hands are trembling.

"Ana are you ok?" Who was that, and how the hell did they have this effect on her?

"I think we've just been threatened and I think I know who it was" She whispers into the silence

"Who was it Ana?" I ask barely containing my rage

"I think... it was Jack Hyde" She chokes out

"Right that fucker is going down!"I've had enough of this bastard and his games! I need my best it guy on this so I call Welch, he has done a lot of poking into Hyde's past so he should be able to see what the fucker is up to now!

"Welch, I need everything you know about Hyde, he's just made a threat against me and Miss Steele, I also need all his phone records both in the US and UK, email me your results."

"Yes sir, I have been monitoring all the records filed with his names attached, I should have phone records within the hour, I will cross reference the numbers against incoming calls received by yourself and miss Steele." He replies efficiently. I do like people confident in their own work.

I go to put my phone away then think that maybe Dad could provide assistance, considering he knows all about Hyde and what he's capable of too.

"Dad I've got a problem, it's Jack Hyde he's just threatened myself and Ana Steele"

"He did what? Christian you have to tell her everything you know about him. Including about Maria, I still don't know how he got away with that! He is a very dangerous and disturbed young man." Does he think I don't already know this? "Do you really care for this girl? Love her even?" He asks, I don't know how to respond to that I really care for her and can't bear to be away from her and earlier in the hotel I felt complete when I was inside her. Is that love?

"Yeah, I want her safe Dad she's very important to me" I've told my Dad I love her before I've even told Ana?!

"Then you need to tell her everything son. All about the trial and the class action. You know that can't go ahead without her testimony!"

"I know" I want to be sarcastic but Ana looks so fragile in my arms that I keep my cool CEO head on.

"Have you found out how he contacted her? Do you need me to look into that or have you got someone at Grey House doing it already?"

" Yes Welch is on it now"

"Good, you sound happy Christian, it makes a lovely change"

"Thanks Dad" I really am happy if only this Hyde thing was dealt with...

"Don't forget to ask her about the suit all the other victims depend on her!"

"Yes I'll ask her tonight"

"Good-bye son I will see you in a few days. I think I need to meet Anastasia and discuss this personally"

"Okay bye"

"Bye son. We love you." The line goes dead my dad is gone. I know he will work round the clock to get this guy. I need him to be gone from our lives and the sooner he's in jail the better!

Ana looks up at me innocently and inquires

"Ask me what?"

"Later I said. After we have seen your parents." I can't burden her with this now she will need time to absorb it all, I just hope she can keep a level head about it.

"Okay" She replies simply. She seems slightly tense after that so I think I'll try to put her at ease during dinner...

The rest of the night passes in a bit of a blur, with lots of tartan and Scottishness! Ana's mom is a brilliant cook and the meal was delicious! I actually relaxed and managed to forget all our problems for the few hours we were there! Oh and I had Ana nearly at the point of orgasm at her dining room table if only her father hadn't seen her reciprocate and dragged us away... still there's plenty of time for that later.

"Oh my god that was torturous! I'm so sorry you had to endure that!" She apologises once we are safely on our way.

"Anastasia, that was the most fun I've had since I've been in this country!" I reply truthfully. I have a deep sense of foreboding about what is coming next. Shes gonna bring up Hyde, I can tell as she rearranges herself on the chair and stiffens her posture.

"So what are we doing about Mr Hyde?" I don't want to answer that for fear of losing my temper and misdirecting my anger at her. "Christian? Did you hear me?"

"Yes, I heard you. This just isn't the time or the place Ana." I look down at my blackberry at the emails Welch has sent, I forward them onto my dad in hope that he can see something in them. I look at my phone for another couple of minutes before I hear Ana's voice again, this time not aimed at me, What is she up to?

"Taylor could you take the next right please?" Taylor looks to me and I nod. "Keep going straight till I tell you to stop. Thank you" We are on some little back road that's nearly a single track. We drive for a few minutes before she signals Taylor to pull over into a lay by. She opens her door and jumps out

"Ana? Where are you going?" I call after her

"Well Christian I presumed that you might tell me whatever it is here and now, there is no one else here, apart from Taylor and judging from the look on his face he already knows! So will you just bloody tell me and stop acting like some arrogant bafoon!" Oh! I didn't expect this...

"OK, OK! I've been trying to work up to telling you all day Ana. My Dad called earlier, while you were asleep, Jack is still in Scotland he will be here until you testify against him, unless you are willing to come to America and testify there. It's the only way to make sure the bastard goes down." I tell her half the truth, she doesn't need to know about Maria right now it would just confuse her and me and the whole situation!

"I...I...have to...testify?" I didn't want this to happen here I wanted her to feel safe during this conversation!

"I thought you knew Ana, but after today I guessed you didn't. My Dad is willing to come over here and be your attorney if you want the trial here, otherwise you can join the class action suit my Dad has put together at home. You're the first one to get away Ana, you are the star witness."

"Go to America? What? When? I don't know Christian. How long for? I need time to process this..." I know im bombarding her but she needs to know, hell she wanted to know!

"My Dad is flying out here he should be here in a couple of days one he's finished doing some stuff for the class action. He will still need your statement and a copy of the one you gave the police Ana" She stiffens and looks confused

"I gave a statement? When?" This is not good, I run my hands through my hair.

"Oh shit Ana do you not remember that? It wasn't long after the fight in the pub Kate said they came to your apartment, they also showed up at the hospital they were with you for hours!" How does she not know. I instinctively keep pulling my hands through my hair showing my raising stress levels, my mother says I'll be bald by the time im 40 if I keep it up!

"Christian can you take me home please"she bows her head and looks ashamed.

"Yeah of course I can" I say putting my arm around her waist and walking her back towards the car. "Taylor could you take us back to Miss Steele's apartment"

"No," she interrupts. I look at her startled "I mean my parents house Christian. I want my Mum" she breaks down and begins to cry. I can feel my own eyes welling with her. I pick her up and place her in the vehicle and buckle her in. I hold her close and try to reassure her.

"Ok Ana, it's ok we are going back to your Moms house. Dont cry baby, please don't cry."She rests her head on my chest and inhales deeply, her breathing slows slightly, and her sobs quieten. I call her mom telling her about the change of plans, she sounds happy until I tell her about the phone call. Ana has zoned out on my chest and is nearly asleep. I pull her in tightly being careful not to hurt her, she sighs and the crying ceases. I know in this moment I have never loved anyone so much.

Her Mom is waiting on the doorstep as we pull up. I carry Ana to her and set her gently on her feet only letting go when she is in her mothers arms. They move off together into one of the rooms I didn't see earlier that I can only assume to be a bedroom. I get taken through to the living room by Ray.

"Christian, what the hell is going on with my daughter? I thought you made her happy yet here you are back within an hour and she is sobbing in her mothers arms?" Her father bellows at me.

"Ray, I'm sorry we didn't tell you about the phone call Ana received. I have my security team on it and my father is going to represent her in court." I try to placate him.

"Oh so your throwing your money at her Grey? My Ana isn't like that you know!" Yes! I know!

"I know. Ana couldn't care less about my money, she has never even mentioned it! My father offered his representation as he knows Hyde very well and is the prosecutor in a class action suit against Hyde on behalf of at least 15 other women that WERE assaulted by him. Ana doesn't remember anything, not even giving a statement, she needs a good lawyer!" I insist.

"I suppose... Tell me Grey, why are you doing this? Are you dating my daughter?" Ok I suppose honesty is always the best policy.

"Yes sir I am." I want to yell it from the rooftops that I think I love her but she doesn't know how fucked up I am. She wont want to know me when she does! I'm sure as hell gonna make sure she sees the best of me! There is a very long pause and we can hear giggles coming from the direction Ana and Carla went.

"We had guessed you were, well her mother hoped. You know she has you two married now obviously, and has most of your money spent on the occasion!" He laughs a big hearty laugh. I can only join in. Carla does seem the type to want all the frills of a wedding.

"I somehow doubt it!" I reply still laughing. He looks at me

"You've never seen my wife in spending mode! She needs one of everything in the shop, in every colour! It's all flagarie rubbish too!" I have no idea what that last bit means but I get the rubbish bit and smile and shake my head.

Ray puts on the TV and I sit quietly waiting for news of Ana. Carla appears after half an hour.

"Could one of you two help me with Ana?" SHe asks looking at me. I jump up and follow her from the room I can hear Ray laughing at me but I don't care!

"She's just in here" She says softly, opening the door. There lying on the bed is my beautiful Ana sleeping soundly, her mom has put her in night-clothes.

"How can I help?" I whisper.

"She needs to get into her own bed across the hall and I'd rather not wake her from what she's been up to today she will be exhausted!" She winks at me, oh Ana told her then!

I walk over to the bed and carefully slide my arms under her. I gently lift her cradling her, she moves and rests her head on my chest. Carla opens the door to Ana's room where the bed is turned down waiting for her. I place her slumbering body down onto the bed and pull the covers up. she moves onto her side and falls fast asleep. I quietly retreat out of the door closing it softly behind me.

"So Christian, where are you staying tonight?" Carla asks

"I will need to go back to the hotel unless there is somewhere in the village to stay" I reply.

"You can stay here" she says. I'm sure she can see my eyes light up as its quickly followed by "On the couch"

"Thank you Carla that would be very kind of you" I accept graciously.

I pull out my cell and tell Taylor of the plans, he is going to tidy my things and stay in the hotel himself. I tell him to be here early with my clothes and with clean things for Ana too. I return to the lounge to find Carla pulling Ray out of the room, and a pillow and some blankets on the couch for me. I am tired so I strip down to my boxers and get under the blankets and drift off dreaming of Ana with those fiery passionate eyes...

When I waken in the morning, I find Carla is already up and making breakfast for everyone, including Taylor! He looked very surprised when he was told to sit and given a plate of bacon egg and sausages. He even tried to politely decline but Carla was insistent so I nodded to him to sit and eat. I took a long hot shower and changed from yesterdays clothes into the fresh ones Taylor had brought. He also brought some things for Ana, some tops and trousers. When her mom saw them she said that Ana prefers dresses, I doubt that but told her I would get her some. She already had them marked in a book so I sent Taylor into the town to get them too, to keep her happy. Ana still wasn't up at 10.30 so I asked Carla's permission to go and wake her, she advised me not to but grudgingly said if I must. I crept into the room and saw her lying there still sound asleep, talking softly to herself, with her night clothes lying on the floor next to the bed. I perched on the chair at the end of her bed and waited. I wasnt there long when her eyelids fluttered open. She stretched and looked around the room. She did a double take when she saw me.

"Morning beautiful" I murmur, as I go over to the bed. I bend down and gently press my lips to hers.

"Morning, how long have you been sitting there?" She replies slightly huskily im not sure if that's caused by the kiss or the tiredness.

"Not long I had to bribe your Mom to let me in here! She said you need your beauty sleep and that if I woke you you'd be a... what was it hmm... crabby... something or other!" I laugh as she pulls a face.

"She has always called me a crabby abbey if I don't get enough sleep!" she pouts

"That's it that's what she called you!" I laugh again, she rolls her eyes at me.

"It's not that funny!" she does a proper full on pout with her lower lip sticking right out.

"Oh I see what she means crabby abbey! Eye rolling and pouting, you might want to learn to control your crankiness Ana you never know what kind of trouble you might get into!" I smile sexily and possibly slightly threatening although I don't want to hurt her. She smiles up at me with that lusty look in her eyes, I can feel myself beginning to respond, when I realise where we are. "Miss Steele you might want to control yourself! We are in a room in your parents house and when you orgasm you are very very loud!" She bats her eyes at me and continues to flirt outrageously! She runs her hand down my chest and my breath catches. She grins! Damn she was testing me to see if I was turned on. I could have told her that very easily, she only has to look at the growing bulge in my trousers!

"Mr Grey it seems you're as pleased to see me as I am you" She says clocking my erection.

"Miss Steele I'm very sorry for any confusion, I said we couldn't have sex, not that seeing you lying here, I presume naked under those bed-clothes, isn't turning me on!" I laugh at her playfully. Until she throws off the covers unveiling her naked body in all its glory. Her erect pert nipples are right there I reach out for them I want to suck on them so hard. I make the slightest contact and quickly withdraw, this can't happen her mother is up the hall! "Oh Ana, Ana, Ana! What will I do with you? I should spank you for that, showing off the forbidden fruit when I cannot eat from the tree! I think you need to get up and dressed before I can't help myself and your Mother hears you come loudly, more that once!" I really threaten this time although I am tempted to promise...

"Is that a threat or a dare Mr Grey?" She replies sensually.

"You are a naughty girl Miss Steele aren't you?" Oh hell if she wants a game I'll play!

"Oh yes sir I think I might be..." Did she just call me sir? Oh fuck im so horny. She pokes that innocent little tongue out and runs it over her lips and stares at me longingly. I roll her over and kiss her, hard and fast. I know if her little show continues we will have sex! Her breathing falters and I know I have to move away so I jump off and head back to the chair.

"Enough now Ana we have a lot to talk about today and we have all the time in the world for everything else! Get dressed baby, and I'll go and see where your Mom is" I go to leave when she calls me back

"Christian, where did you stay last night?" she inquires.

"Here Ana. Where else would I be?"

"What about Taylor?" She sounds surprised that I was here.

"He went back to the hotel to do some tidying up!" She goes a lovely shade of pink and looks disgusted! Oh my god she thinks he slept in our room! I wind her up a bit. " He also slept there." She now looks completely appalled, what kind of man does she think I am? "In a different room Ana so don't look quite so appalled" I laugh and leave the room.

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**By the wayI found a great wee Scottish dictionary at /dictionary so if there are any words of Scottish that you don't understand its a brill we site! :) (Especially for those of us that can't work out how to spell flagarie!**

**If you liked leave a review! **

**CarrieJ x**


	14. Christian Part Five

**A/N: All characters belong to E.L James**

**Just want to say thank you to all my wonderful supporters without you I'd have given up! For any reviewer that doesn't like my story please pm me I'll happily answer any queries you have. Thanks for reading x**

**It's not a long one but it brings you up to Ana...**

**Enjoy...**

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The week drags at Ana's parents house, the highlight of my day is always when she appears wearing one of the dresses her Mom picked. She looks breathtaking in a dress! She subtly changes the way she moves, she becomes more confident, although she says she dislikes them im not so sure! There has been no sex since our first encounter and her mother seems keen that it should stay that way and keeps dropping hints about Ana's pureness and not tainting it. She sounds like a fifties father! Fortunately for me my fathers flight is arriving tomorrow so we have an excuse to leave. As much as Carla and Ray are lovely people I can't stay in their company for one more day I think I'd kill them! Taylor has had a few days off so I suppose something good came out of this week!

When we eventually get out the door Carla is sobbing, well pretending to, into a hankie telling me that I'm the son she never had. Ana does not look particularly happy at this or when she throws herself at me, poor Ray has to come and peel her off and into the house. We both get into the car and I don't look back. I can feel the simmering tension between us that we have kept at bay for the last week, god knows how! I've practically been a walking erection!

The drive seems to take forever! I can feel every nerve tingling with the anticipation of whats to come! When we arrive at the hotel we check in quickly, I see Ana's eyebrow lift when the receptionist calls us Mr and Mrs Grey, She flushes and fumbles with her fingers. As soon as I have the key I drag her off to the room. I begin my seduction in the elevator, I look her over imagining what she looks like naked. Then I catch her eye, I can see the desire. I lean forward and she closes her eyes and slightly parts her lips as I expect her to so I whisper in her ear

"You've been a very naughty girl Miss Steele, very naughty indeed!"

Her breathing becomes erratic as does mine fortunately the lift doors open. I pull her out and we run along the corridor. I quickly open the door and she runs in, removing her clothes as she moves. I follow suit until we are lying on the bed facing each other completely naked. She moves to say something so I hush her.

"I hope your ready for this Anastasia" She looks at me and nods gently. I lunge forward all my pent-up sexual frustration finding its outlet. I kiss her, hard. I plunge my tongue between those juicy lips and she responds in kind. I roll on top of her pushing my erection against her she replies by moving and swaying her hips grinding against me. I want to touch her and feel her all over I roll us onto one side so we are facing each other, I run my fingers through her hair and down over those magnificent breasts tugging her nipples, down her sides and round to that lovely little bottom. I feel the overwhelming urge to fulfill my promise so I do! I gently spank her and from the reaction I know she liked it!

"What was that for?" She breathes, unable to control her voice.

"Because I can Ana, and I know you like it" I reply hoarsely, "I could just take you over my knee and spank you, nothing would give me greater pleasure" Oh even the thought makes me harder than I already am!

"Why don't you then?" She challenges her eyes flaring.

"No Ana, I don't think you could handle that." I can't sexually spank her now! I'd come all over her ass! She seems dejected so I move forward and kiss her, then I move down to her breasts and nip and suck on her nipples till she nearly orgasms. I move down her body I've wanted to taste her for a very long time now! I find a mass of pubic hair I can't help but give it a little tug. I run my hands all over her lower body, then she doesn't expect it I nudge her clit with my nose, it smells delightful! I hold her little ass to stop her wriggling and flick my tongue over it a couple of times before I thrust it into her. She gasps, so i keep it there for a while slowly licking her delicate folds, before I go to town on her clitoris, she begins to scream almost instantly, I keep up my assault until I feel her orgasm ripping through her. I let her go and get a condom, I can't wait for her so I slam in full force. I kiss her with all the desire I feel. I thrust slowly as she feels so go I want to be in her for as long as possible! I play with her breasts again and suck her nipples, but she pulls me away by the hair into another kiss. I can feel her hands running down my front then moving round to my ass. She grabs it geeing me on. I increase my speed to find her pushing back against me at the same pace. She begins to tighten again it's too much for me to bear she tips me over the edge and I come I can feel her watching me which intensifies the feeling. I stare right back at her and se orgasms again too. She falls straight to sleep in my arms. I lie and hold her before I need to go and have a freshen. Once I'm done I crawl right back in beside her feeling contentment and utter joy.

The next day we have a quiet one after Carla and Ray's it's a welcome change. I help Ana dress in a beautiful red number with stockings...oh how I love stockings! We have lunch in the hotel and then return to the room where I lovingly remove those stockings and everything else, and make sweet gentle love to Ana Steele. We picked up my Dad from the airport too so we have the rest of the night to ourselves. I didn't think my day could get any better! But that was before the blow job! Oh fuck shes damn good at that and she swallows! My day is complete! We take a shower, I get to wash her down and she returns the favour, as best she can. She seems down though. I look at her and tell her that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She looks uncomfortable and stares at the floor. I turn her so she is looking in the mirror

"Will I tell you what I see?" She shuffles about but doesnt reply. "I see a beautiful radiant woman, strong and confident with the most amazing body!" still no reaction. " You have a beautiful face, dominated by the biggest, bluest eyes I've ever encountered, eyes that can see into the darkest depths of my soul." Her eyes move to look at me. "A mouth with the plumpest lips I've ever had the pleasure to have known, the cutest little button nose and skin that looks like its made from the finest porcelain. Your breasts are soft and smooth with those fabulous nipples on the top." I can't help feeling them and having a gentle tug, she lets out a small appreciative moan. "Your stomach is like silk to touch. Now here is my favourite part of you!" I skim my fingers over her clitoris before inserting a finger. She looks at herself and gasps. I stare at her too, I've changed her from insecure Ana to wanton sex goddess in five minutes! She grins at me, I can see she is shivering slightly, she must be cold so I help her to dry off quickly. She places a towel over me too and rubs me down. I lead her back into the room to the bed. I hold her tight and tell her that I'll never let anything bad happen to her and begin to tell her about Maria when she interrupts me

"I love you Christian" She says.

"You LOVE me?" Where the FUCK did that come from?! "Really Ana you've known me for what? five minutes and you love me? You don't even know me!" I can't fall into her arms with an I love you too! She doesn't know about my past. It changes things. My fucked up past will forever change things! How did I let this happen? "Oh Ana. What have I done?" He sounds upset

"I can't help my feelings for you and I wont apologise for them! Christian you are the first man I have ever dated, I gave you my virginity surely you must have realised I wouldn't give that away to any Tom Dick or Harry?" she spits at me. "You have been the sweetest kindest man, you've held me when ive been upset, you stayed when I was hurt, you spent a week with my parents, some people would say you deserve a knighthood for that alone! That's what you have done! Oh and you have blown my mind in the fucking bedroom too, unless you'd forgotten" I can see the pain in her eyes but I can't deal with this yet all these emotions! Where if fucking Flynn when I need him. I look down to try to compose myself.

"Ana, there is something I need to tell you..." That sounds wong, I see the panick in her eyes. "Did you ever wonder why I'm here?"

"What?" She appears perplexed by the question "I assumed you came to visit Elliot"

"No Ana, I didn't. I came here to escape my life, to be a nobody for a month or two." I suppose that's close enough. How do You put over the words mental breakdown and dead girlfriend in a polite way?

"Oh gee ta so now im a nobody!" She took that the wrong way, why do women do that?

"No Ana you're not a nobody, people like you just don't exist in my world" NO! I wish I could take that back...

"So what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" She is really pissed now!

"I ..." I try to take it back but I can't find the right words.

"In fact don't bother Christian, I'll get my stuff and go then will I? Obviously you've been wasting my time!"

"No Ana. Please, I don't want it to end like this" I beg her.

"Oh so you did want it to end thanks for the heads up! What was I just another notch on your bloody bedpost?" What? Where is this coming from? "You were right about one thing Christian I was deluding myself that I love you, You are some arrogant little rich boy who thinks your better than the rest of us! It's such a shame that the sweet caring you was all a façade to get me into bed. Do you get extra points at your private club if your 'nobody' conquest was a virgin? I bet Mummy will be so proud!" NO Ana I can't let you talk to me like that. Dont make me angry, I plead I still can't quite control it.

"Don't be so fucking ridiculous Ana! I've never been anyone but me with you" I try telling her the truth.

"Pull the other one Grey, You just proved to me why all men are fucking pricks! And if you think I'm going to hang around to be your wee sex toy you can fuck right off!"

"Fine then, go if you feel like that. I should have guessed you'd be like this!" I'm seething with rage now. So she used me I bet I'm gonna be front page tomorrow when she sells her bloody story. Why did I not listen to Mia and get a NDA?

"Like what?" She goads.

"I bet you did know EXACTLY who I was. I mean even your parents had heard of me! What was I your meal ticket out of small village life Ana? Are you just another one of the gold digging whores that throw themselves at me all day everyday?" My rage bursts forth and I can't stop it all my insecurities come tumbling out as accusations in my rage.

"Don't you fucking dare!" She tries to hit me. I can't let her so I grab her wrist.

"I wouldn't do that Miss Steele, I don't think you could afford it" I sneer at her.

"You pompous arrogant wanker! What the fuck did I see in you?" I knew this was always going to be the end. She would see me as nothing. Her eyes are cold and flat towards me . "I thought you were different Christian, I actually fell for all your bullshit. But now I can see through you into your soul and do you wanna know what I see? Its fucking black and empty just like you! I hope you rot in hell Christian!" I can feel my heart breaking in my chest. Why couldn't I just tell her how I feel? "Oh and you can tell your father I will meet with him tomorrow at my flat" and with that she strides out of my life.

I call Taylor and tell him to take Miss Steele wherever she wants to go. He calls me ten minutes later saying she took a cab, and relaying a lovely message she sent for me. I call Elliot, he says he will make sure Kate meets Ana and that he will be round to see me.

Why does it suddenly feel like the world has ended? I call Elliot back and tell him I'll meet him at the house. I go and waken Dad and tell him that we are leaving. Ryan and Taylor put our stuff in the cars and I settle the bill. I cant wait to get the fuck out of there! When we are in the car I put my head in my dads lap and cry and cry. I tell him everything that has happened in the last three and a half weeks right up to the argument. He says nothing and strokes my hair, II wish my Mom was here this is awful! It feels just like losing Maria all over again only this time I still get to see her but not talk to her or go near her and its slowly killing me. We arrive at my house and Elliot is already inside, I just make my way straight up to my room. I leave Dad and Elliot discussing me down stairs.

I doze lightly on and off, my dreams haunted by those cold blue eyes. Images of Anas face contorted in anger blurring with images of Maria's. I get up and go for a shower to try to bring myself back to life, when I catch sight of the nail marks on my ass. Ana left them there, during our last love-making session, a sob breaks from my throat but im quick to stifle anymore. I dress quickly, avoiding looking in the right hand side of my closet where some of Ana's things hang. I can smell her though her perfumed scent is all over me and this room even though she has never been here. I go to the kitchen for my morning coffee to find Elliot already there.

"Yo bro, what the hell happened with Ana?"

"It's none of your goddamned business!" I shout

"Boys!" My father shouts as he enters the room.

"I barely said anything to him and he started yelling" Elliot defends

"Enough!" he says firmly "Christian I need to see Ana today will you accompany me."

"HELL NO!" I shout "She got what she wanted from me so she can have her five minutes of fame, but she's getting no more of my time!" My rage fills every word with venom.

"That wasn't a question, you need to see her, you can't end things on an argument."

"She only wants my money" I retort. "I can end things anyway I want!"

"Christian stop acting like a three-year old and behave! You will accompany me and that's the end of the discussion."

"Why? Do you like to see me in pain?" I practically cry, I know im behaving like a brat but I cant help it.

"No son don't be ridiculous! I need you in case there is any information you can help with."

"Fine" I back down, he's not going to take no for an answer!

Elliot skulks off out the room. Ten minutes later he's back.

"I just dumped Kate" he huffs

"Why?"

"She called you an asshole"

"Oh Elliot please don't tell me you insulted Ana?"

"I..Uh... called her a gold digger..." Way to go Elliot! How to add fuel to the fire!

"You're an asshole!"

"Language boys! Elliot phone Kate back and apologise! Christian I suggest you do the same with Ana, or this afternoon is going to be very uncomfortable." Dad buts in.

I know I should but I can't!

"Dad I told Kate you'd be round in ten minutes like you said."

"Thank you Elliot, Christian are you ready?"

"No"

"Never mind its time to go"

We make our way across the city to Kate and Ana's apartment. Kate opens the door with a huge smile for my father, it drops when she sees me. We all make our way into the small lounge. I get left the uncomfortable armchair to sit in. I stare at Ana as she speaks, she has dark circles around her eyes, her skin appears more sullen and her hair is lank. She doesn't look like the same girl who walked out on me yesterday. I sit and daydream, not paying any attention, till I notice Dad is tidying away his things. I hear him talking about her final decision to join his suit.

"I will need your decision about the class action though, If you want him put away for a long time you will need to join" He pushes her

"Yes I know that already Mr Grey, and I've made my decision. I will do it, on one condition" She smirks and I see a glimmer of the old Ana.

"Yes Miss Steele what would that be?"

"I would like an apology from your son" I look at her as if she has just gone utterly mad, No chance!

"I'm sure that can be arranged, can't it Christian?" If it gets dads case won I suppose I will, I go to move towards her when she interrupts again

"Oh, Im sorry Mr Grey! I think you misunderstood. I meant Elliot" Round two to Miss Steele I feel like she has just punched me in the gut. It takes all my strength not to buckle on the floor right then and there.

"Yes, yes of course Miss Steele we will be leaving now. I will send Elliot round" I just want to run away and never be found.

We drop Dad off at the house he understands I want some alone time. I tell Taylor to drive to the airport.

I find the next plane leaving for Seattle and check myself on it. I leave a note for Elliot to deliver to Ana at the check in desk and call him to collect it once I'm onboard. All these thought are rampaging through my head, I just need peace and quiet but it never happens. All I do is cause pain and suffering for everyone that knows me, maybe I should just end it all...

* * *

**OK So now we go back to Ana's POV... Will she get on the plane?**

**Carrie J x**


	15. Do I Stay or Do I Go?

**A/N: The characters belong to E. L. James**

**This is a short chapter but I wanted to leave a cliffhanger...**

**Enjoy...**

* * *

I'm exhausted when I see the doctor. They quickly saw through the cast and take some x-rays they confirm that the bones are healing well and that ill only need a cast for about two more weeks. I get a lovely new pink cast, Its much lighter and doesn't smell which is great! I just want to go curl up somewhere and sleep for a week, but that's not an option. When I finish at the hospital. Kate is waiting for me. I'm glad I'm not alone for this, Carrick and Elliot are with me too.

I don't know where to begin. I'm ushered into a large black Audi by Taylor and we are driven off to Grey House the home of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. Christians company. I don't quite know how I got here one minute I was having an argument with Elliot the next I was on a plane trying to stop my ex from killing himself, which unfortunately seems to be the reality I'm facing. I really had no idea about his background. When we were on the plane Carrick explained everything from a woman called Maria to Christians breakdown and how close to the edge he came before. He also told me that Christian was or maybe is in love with me? I can't get my head around it at all. They all believe I'm the only one that can save him though. I have to do a press conference, I am shitting myself about it. I'm not the most confident of people at the best of times and put me in an unfamiliar awkward social surrounding and I become the clumsiest girl in the world. Last time I tried to give a public speech to my class in uni I somehow managed to spill water down the front of my lecturer and myself. I was mortified! Today I have to talk to the world media? Miss Grey has had a speech written for me by the PR department that I have to read, I don't really feel comfortable with that but I suppose if it gets Christian home that's what matters.

We pull up outside the most imposing building it's all glass and steel. Kate gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. Taylor opens my door, I try to get out but end up tripping and nearly faceplanting into the pavement. fortunately Taylor catches me! I stand and dust myself down. I look at the door and see the words Grey House etched in a frosted part of the glass. Taylor opens the door and I walk in. It has the most breathtaking foyer, its all marble and glass. A bubbly blonde approaches us.

"Mr Grey, Miss Grey is waiting for you on the 21st floor if you'd like to all go up" she addresses Carrick

He nods politely and moves us all into the waiting lift.

"You okay Ana?" Kate asks taking a hold of my hand.

"Yeah, just a bit nervous" I reply. She smiles reassuringly at me, she knows I'm lying she can feel the tremors increasing in my hand.

The lift doors slide open and again its all marble and glass. There is a tall beautiful blonde waiting for us.

"Andrea!" Carrick smiles and embraces the woman. "I hope Mia is not being a tyrant" he jokes.

"No sir. Miss Grey is lovely. I'll just let her know you've arrived" She returns to her desk and quietly speaks into her intercom.

Mia Grey bursts through the door like a rocket and barrels herself into her fathers arms

"Daddy I've been so worried! Where is Christian?" She looks at me and I can see the daggers protruding towards me. Anger and hatred pours off her in my direction. "Hello you must be the infamous Miss Steele" She says I can hear the venom in her sweetness as she says my name.

"Ana" I say icily back, who the fuck does she think she is to judge me? " I'm guessing your Miss Grey then?" I add with no emotion at all.

"Yes that would be me." You could cut the tension with a knife. Kate's grip on mine has increased I don't know if its to stop me lamping her or her lamping me!

"Ladies, I think you are both starting off on the wrong foot here," Carrick interrupts "We are all here for Christian are we not?"

"Yes" we all chorus, still sizing each other up.

"I have a speech for you" she says trusting a document at me. I read it thoroughly. I hate it, it doesn't say what needs to be said.

"I can't read that!" I exclaim "Anyone in this building could stand and read that! I need to get a message to him that he will understand comes from me." I shout at her surprised by own reaction. She looks stunned, I don't suppose anyone stands up to any of the Greys. Andrea looks on bemused by the entire situation, I don't think people raise their voice in Grey house unless their surname is Grey!

"You will read it, its your fucking fault he's missing!" She hisses back.

"Oh I don't know why I bothered coming then. You read your bloody speech I'm going home! Your all fucking fruit loops in this family, Sorry Carrick I don't mean you but all your bloody kids!" I look pointedly at Mia. Then turn and get back into the lift and hit the ground button. Kate dives in with me.

"What the hell Ana!" She looks at me "Do you not love him now are you happy for him to die?"

"Kate it's not that. Yes I love him and 72 hours ago I was the happiest woman on the planet with a normal relationship with a normal boy, but he's not normal Kate. He needs serious psychological help and I don't know if I can do that. Any of them can read her little statement. I just cannot and will not be a pawn to be manipulated by anyone." I shout my emotions are running high.

"Lets go to the hotel, you can cool down and see how you feel later." Kate supplies her words of wisdom.

The lift opens and we walk out I go to the door of the building and am suddenly swamped by the press. Where did they come from? There are hundreds of them all shouting my name!

"Ana, Ana, is it true Mr Grey has gone missing?"

"Ana, are you and Mr Grey an item?"

"Ana, do you have a statement?"

What do I do I look at Kate then act on impulse.

"Excuse me" I say trying to make them quieten

"EXCUSE ME!" Kate yells. they all shut up and look, flashbulbs go off and the cameras all point in my direction a few microphones appear near me too.

"My name is Anastasia Steel and yes I have been dating Mr Grey, He is missing at the moment and I would appreciate it if you could please put the message out that I am in Seattle and I want Christian to come back to me. Christian if you can hear me I will be waiting for you at a place your father told me was your quiet place. Please come to me, find me baby!" I beg staring down a camera lens.

"That is all we have to say at this time Grey House will be issuing a statement within the hour, Thank you" Mia booms from behind me before snatching my hand and pulling me back into the building. "Of all the stupid things..." she begins and pauses "Thank you Ana I hope he hears it." She pulls me into an embrace. When she lets me go I see the tears spilling from her eyes, I realise then that I am crying too. Kate appears beside me with a tissue. I dry my eyes, I'm so glad I don't wear make up id have panda eyes by now!

Only now do I look round the foyer at the faces of the Grey clan and see the pale skin, the red ringed eyes and the track marks on their cheeks where the tears have fallen. Taylor even looks abnormally sad. I go to him and ask him to take me to the garden Christian had made im Maria's memory. I hug everyone they all know where I am going. I just want to sit and wait. I pray to god he shows up. I don't want to turn into a modern-day Romeo and Juliet! Taylor leads me through the building to a different lift where he keys in a number to an underground garage. We descend.

"Do you know much about Maria?" I ask Taylor

"Not really Ma'am" He replies

"You know where this garden is though don't you?"

"Yes ma'am"

He really doesn't talk much! We get in the car and head for our destination.

"Will you bring me food when I need it?" I ask, he looks surprised

"Of course, you will have a security detail with you to Ma'am."

"I will?" I raise my eyebrows

"Yes, Mr Grey would insist if he was here. You are in a strange city and anything could happen to you."

"Oh okay, i suppose when you put it like that it makes sense"

"Sawyer is already in place waiting for you ma'am"

"Ok thanks Taylor"

He pulls to a stop by some gates. He inputs a code and we pass through. At the end of the road there is a house and behind the house is a beautiful garden, in the middle is a perfect little gazebo. I get out the car. Taylor hands me a key

"For the house Ma'am" He nods then approaches another man. They have a short conversation before I'm formally introduced, although id already guessed that this is Sawyer!

"Miss Steel, I'd like you to meet Luke Sawyer your personal security detail. Anything you need just ask him."

"Who owns this house?"

"Mr Grey Ma'am"

"Is this where he lives?"

"No ma'am"

"Okay...then why does he have a house if he doesn't live in it?" I ask myself more than them they both just shrug their shoulders. "Can I stay in the house? Is that why you gave me the key?"

"Yes ma'am, Mrs Jones will be over soon to prepare dinner for you."

"Thanks. I'm just going to sit in the garden." I wonder off. Taylor and Sawyer chat more then Taylor leaves. So here I am in natures paradise created for a dead woman, I'm trying not to be morbid but I can't help it. I wonder around and can't help thinking what if im just the rebound girl? I'm the one that was never meant to come along. I walk around the path admiring the beauty that surrounds me when suddenly there is a clearing with a small bench, it overlooks the water it has the most breathtaking view. I sit down and stare at it. I know that this is the spot Carrick told me about. I sit frozen to the spot. I sit for hours and watch the sunset its stunning the whole sky illuminates with natures palate. I capture the image and burn it into my brain, I never want to forget being here right now, surrounded by the beauty and the it hits me this is the spot where I will find out if he is dead or alive I fold over on myself and sob, the tears flow until there are none left.

I must have cried myself to sleep as when I awaken I'm still on the bench but I have a pillow and a duvet. I sit up pulling the covers round me for warmth and that when I see it a loan red rose lying beside me. He's been here, he knows im here! He's ALIVE! But where has he gone now? I run up to the house. I see someone follow me.

"Christian?" I shout

"Its Sawyer Ma'am" He replies

"But he was here" I say

"I havent seen anyone come or go ma'am" He looks apologetic

"He WAS here!" I reply firmly "I don't care if you saw him I KNOW he was! He left me this" I hold up the rose. Sawyer looks like he's seen a ghost.

"Come with me ma'am, it's not safe to be out here we need to go into the house."

"Why?" I ask

"Please ma'am" He begs

"Fine!" I sulk. I turn round and look at the garden "Christian this security guy is making me go inside, I know you have a key, come and find me baby please" I cry out into the dark. I hope he heard me.

"Miss Steele you need to get into the house now!" I move through the back door into a small pantry, then through another door into a huge kitchen. Sawyer is on his mobile shouting for backup. I don't understand?

"Sawyer what is going on?"

"You need to get in the panic room Ma'am" he replies

"NO! Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on!"

"It's Mr Grey Ma'am... He leaves roses for Maria on the bench only ever white ones though" He's holding something back from me.

Taylor bursts in the room and picks me up and carries me to the panic room.

"Miss Steele you are in great danger. Mr Grey is unstable and is a very strong man"

"He left me a rose! He didn't touch me!"

"Are you sure he didn't?" he asks

"Yes! What is it about the rose?"

"Mr Grey always said he would leave Maria a red rose when he was going to die so that she would know to look for him..." He looks down

Oh fuck! He's actually going to do it? He saw me there and still he's going to do it? I run past him and head for the door. I get outside and run up the path to the bench. The duvet is gone and the pillow has exploded everywhere.

"Christian?" I shout ""Christian Grey I know you are fucking well here come out and face me like a man!"

I hear rustling in the bushes behind me. Before I can turn I feel a hand over my mouth and I'm being dragged backwards. I feel my body being lifted off the ground but my head is pinned so I can't see who it is, I can't scream. I have to hope Taylor followed me fast enough...

* * *

**I feel like I should be doing an evil laugh ****right now! Who snatched Ana and more importantly why? You may or may not have noticed there are some unanswered questions along the way. If you have noticed any of these I assure you they will be resolved soon if you want spoilers (answers to these q's I may give some by PM...)**

**CarrieJ**


	16. Kidnapped?

**A/N: All characters belong to E. L. James**

**Sorry about the update coming so late two of my kids are ill so updating is not my priority. As for the rose question, I always believed yellow was for friendship, white was for sorrow and red was for love. These are my personal beliefs though so you can disagree with me if you want. Anyway thankyou for all the brilliant reviews for the last chapter! Hope you like this one as much!**

**Enjoy...**

* * *

I open my mouth and clamp my teeth around his finger, I bite will all the force I can manage.

"Fuck Ana! What did you bite me for? He whispers.

"Christian?" I look into his haunted eyes.

"Ana it's not safe for you to be here. You shouldn't have come"

"Oh yeah, like that was gonna happen? I got your note! Fuck I thought you were going to kill yourself you fucking idiot!" I whisper back at him angrily. I don't know why we are whispering but we are.

"Ana, go back to Taylor. DON'T tell anyone you saw me! OK?"

"No it's not fucking ok! You need to tell me what the fuck is going on! Have you gone psychotic on me? Are you having some kind of mental break?"

"Ana, When you get back to the house tell Taylor to call Flynn, he will know why, just go now Ana, you can't stay with me." He pushes me back through the hedges. I try to fight my way back to where I just was but I can't find him it's like he's vanished. I spend another ten minutes fighting with the hedges but its useless. When I emerge I am shocked by the scene that confronts me.

"Taylor" I scream when I see the mass destruction of the garden. The bench I had been on is in pieces on the grass. The plants look like someone rampaged through with a lawnmower and half of the path slabs have been destroyed. Someone with some serious issues has been here. Did Christian do this?

Taylor rushes over to me.

"Take me inside please, now please im not safe here" I say to him. He nods understanding. It's as if im using a secret code that only he and Christian know. When we get in he takes me to the panic room. He goes to leave me there.

"Taylor could you call Flynn?" I ask. He spins round and stares at me his eyes wide with shock.

"You saw him? He came near you? Are you hurt?"

"Could you call Flynn" I repeat.

"Yes Ma'am. You're safe in here. He won't come for you tonight. You need to leave here first thing I'll have Sawyer take you to Bellevue. Thats where your friend Miss Kavanagh is."

"Thank you Taylor" I smile at him, he nods, pulling out his phone as he leaves.

The door knocks what feels like a couple of hours later, but given I don't have any knowledge of the time it could be ten minutes or ten days!

"Who is it?" I shout

"Sawyer Ma'am." he says "I'm here to take you to Bellevue"

"Okay" I press the button to let him in. When the door opens I realise its morning. I am knackered.

"Did Taylor do what I requested?"

"Yes Ma'am"

"My name is Ana, I'm not the queen!"

"Sorry Ana" he replies. I follow him through the house to find room upon room of destruction. I guess the panic room is sound proofed either that or every room is but who in their right mind would do that?

"Do you know where Christian is?"

"You would have to talk to Taylor about that Ma, Ana"

"Can I then? Talk to Taylor I mean?"

"Yes, I'll just get him for you Mm Ana" he scurries off leaving me in the kitchen. I hear a noise behind me and see a shadow moving towards me I'm about to scream when a woman walks into the kitchen

"Good morning would you like a drink? Or something to eat?" She asks

"A cup of Decaf tea would be amazing if you have some" I reply trying to hide my surprise.

"Sorry if I startled you Miss Steele. I'm Mrs Jones the housekeeper."

"Oh okay." She hands me a large mug of tea. Taylor appears in the doorway looking rather disheveled. He approaches me warily.

"Good morning Miss Steele"

"Morning Taylor. Where is Christian?" I ask, his eyebrows shoot up at my bluntness.

"Ma'am, I don't know where he is."

"Don't bullshit me Taylor. You know where he is, and what the fuck is going on, and seeing as though I'm stuck in the middle of this I deserve, strike that, I demand to know!" I have to stop myself grabbing the man and shaking him. He looks me in the eye

"You are right of course Miss Steele, but I can't Mr Grey had forbidden it" his body language betrays him and lets me know that if I push him he will tell me. "It's safer if you don't know"

"According to whom Taylor? You or Christian, because right now, if this whole message comes from him he can shove it! I'll bloody stay here and talk to him myself!" Taylor looks shocked.

"Miss Steele, have you spoken to him?"

"That is none of your business." I reply curtly.

"I think you have." I blush and avoid his gaze, I always was crap at lying. " I wondered why you wanted to see Flynn! He will tell you everything you need to know." He goes to leave, I stop him

"I want Flynn to come here and im going nowhere until ive spoken to him." He nods and leaves the room. Mrs Jones reappears from wherever she hides with a plate of sandwiches for me.

"You need to eat Miss Steele" she says kindly

"Call me Ana please. Thank you for the food."

I move to the large table with my mug and plate. Im hungrier than I thought and eat it quickly. I get up and go for a walk around this huge house. I find a lovely undamaged living room, its got wood floors and two beautiful big comfy sofas that when you sit you sink into them. I sit and sip my tea thinking through the last few days, what a blur! I had or possibly have a gorgeous boyfriend that may or may not be a psycho! How do I get myself into these kind of situations? Now I'm apparently in great danger yet I stay? I love him and he needs me, nothing will make me leave. I hope Taylor got that. I hope to hell Christian gets that! I am interrupted from my reverie by a man walking into the room

"John Flynn" He says in a very English accent possibly a Londoner? He trusts his hand towards me. I politely shake it in return.

"Ana Steele, pleased to meet you Mr Flynn"

"You're Scottish? Oh and please call me John!"

"Yeah I'm a Stirling girl. I met Christian when he came to stay with Elliot" I can't help smiling as I say his name. "How do you know him? and why does he want me to talk to you?" I ask

"I'm his therapist Miss Steele" Oh! How did I not know that? I'm sure Carrick probably told me but I had a lot to take in and im sure parts of my brain are made of swiss cheese!

"Right...and? Why did he want me to see you?"

"He obviously feels you need to know whats going on."

"Fine tell me then"

"You'll have to forgive me Miss Steele I'm going to have to start at the beginning and there may be things that will upset you."

"I know about Maria." He looks stunned. "Carrick told me, and about his breakdown and hospitalization, oh and I know he was suicidal. And please call ma Ana"

"Yes of course Ana. Mr Grey senior has obviously filled you in on quite a lot, although I'm surprised he told you about his suicidal thoughts, I didn't think he knew"

"Of course he does! He read the flipping note!"

"What note?"

"This one" I pull the note from my pocket and hand it to John. He scans it over.

"Oh! Now I see why you came. He was suicidal before when he first broke down in his apartment, he tried to break out through security glass so that he could jump from the balcony. He lives on the top floor of a very tall building." I can't stop the gasp that escapes me. I knew he had thoughts but not that he'd tried to act on them! "Ana, his mental health is still extremely fragile, he has called me since he came home and told me a bit about a fight, he gets extremely agitated when he can't handle a situation. He says things he doesn't mean, he..

"I told him that I love him" I interrupt I don't want to hear his excuses from his shrink! "He freaked out, we had a massive fight and I left. We saw each other the next day and I wanted to run into his arms but I couldn't instead I was a complete bitch because I felt rejected and manipulated by him." He looks surprised and nods along with everything I say.

"Ana you reacted normally. Christian however, like I was saying, has a problem processing his feelings. I believe, based on what you have told me and what Taylor has said, that Christian is suffering from a psychiatric condition maybe bipolar disorder or possibly even schizophrenia. I need to see him to conduct tests. He needs admitted to hospital. Do you know where he is Ana?"

"I don't know"

"Have you seen him" I don't answer he made me promise and I can't break that. "Ana if it's not psychiatric then he may have a brain tumour, it can cause all these symptoms too."

"I've seen him" I say dropping my head and staring at my lap.

"When? Where?"

"I can't tell you, but I will bring him here. You need to leave it to me." I look up expecting to see fury instead I see the understanding in his eyes.

"Ana I know you love him, but you need to be careful. In his current state he is unstable he may hurt you unintentionally during a psychotic episode. You are risking your life going to find him."

"I know but I have to he doesn't trust anyone else."

"Taylor brought him here" I'm stunned

"What? Taylor knew where he was the whole time?"

"He thought you might snap him out of it. Until he saw the red rose"

"He's not fucking dead Mr Flynn and when I spoke to him he seemed fine!" I shout at him, "fuck the god dammed flowers, he left a symbol of love for me not a symbol of death! He loves me I know he does!"

I jump up from the sofa and storm out the room and out the house. I pick my way through the garden to where the bench once stood. I clear some of it away and lay two of the short broken planks side by side and sit on them watching the water. I wait. I know he will come for me, I hope it's my Christian that comes. I laugh at the irony of the situation, yesterday I was waiting to see if he was dead or alive today im waiting to see if I'll end up dead or alive.

"Something funny?" The voice booms from behind me.

* * *

**I know I know another cliffhanger... hopefully will update tomorrow but no promises! It could be Monday.**

**CarrieJ**


	17. Something Funny?

**A/N: All characters belong to E. **

**I know its late but better late than never!**

**Enjoy...**

* * *

"Something funny?" the voice booms from behind me.

I can feel all the hairs standing on my arms. I don't turn and look if anything I laugh longer than I would have at the absurdity of everything.

"Just my situation." I reply.

"What situation would that be?" he says gently. I can feel him coming over to me, he stops behind me. His fingertips make contact with my shoulders, I can feel the electricity running down my arms. His hands run down my arms. I can feel his breath on my neck, his lips gently press to my shoulder and run up to my earlobe. I'm frozen not sure how to react to his sensual assault. I turn to face him.

"You" I reply. He pulls me in to him for a hot passionate kiss.

"What about me?" He says huskily as he pulls away.

"Christian, you need to see a doctor!"

"You're the best medicine for me Ana" He drags me into another steamy kiss, as much as I want to fight against him I can't, the sexual magnetism is too strong. Our tongues dance together, I run my hands over his body, as his invade my clothing. Something in me snaps back to reality. I push away from him. I see the flash of hurt in his eyes.

"No Christian, we cant do this now, not here." I say still husky. "Let's go into the house" I stand up and reach for his hand. He just stares at me

"I, uh, I, can't go in there." He says shakily.

"Then where can we go? I don't want splinters in my arse so we're not doing anything here and the same goes for the shards of concrete! I would prefer a bed..." Oh please just come inside, I can get you help you stubborn man!

"Ana, I can't go anywhere. I need Maria to see you, to know you." Oh Fuck this is worse than I thought! He can SEE his dead girlfriend?

"Christian there is no one here except you and me!" I shout at him.

"I can feel her presence here, like nowhere else. I need to say goodbye to life with her, I need her to know I've moved on. I need you Ana!" He shouts, I see him struggling to control his anger.

"I'm fucking here Christian and you're talking to dead people?" I try to stay calm. "TAYLOR! GET FLYNN" I yell. Christian looks like ive slapped him. "I love you baby but you need help, help I can't give you. I will wait for you but now you need to go with John." His face hardens. He stands over me threateningly. He picks me up and moves up the path with me, heading for the house.

"You want it in a fucking bed then I'll fuck you in a fucking bed!" He seethes. I begin to shake with fear. Taylor and Flynn are nowhere, does he know I was bluffing? Is he going to rape me? The house is in darkness as we approach . He throws open the door and charges through it. He slams it hard behind him breaking a few of the small panes of glass. He keeps walking, we go up a beautiful staircase in the centre of the house, it sweeps up in a beautiful curve leading to a large spacious hall that is the size of my and Kate's flat! He puts me down.

"Run away Ana." I can see the pain in his eyes. Is this a challenge?

"No"

"GO Ana, NOW!"

"NO! I'm not leaving you Christian. Don't you get it? I LOVE YOU you stupid idiot! If you drag me in a room and do something to me now it's my own fault, you gave me a chance to run and I wont leave. I just need you to know that I love you." I need him to hear me. He looks at me for a long time before he pulls a mobile phone from his pocket and hands it to me.

"Call Taylor and Flynn if you need to" I look at the phone, I find Taylors number and make the call.

"Christian you understand why ive done this don't you?" I ask

"No, I really don't!"

"Really? You have smashed up half the house, and trashed the garden. You were going to rape me Christian..."

"No. I wouldn't do that to you Ana! I love you!" I blink up at him in shock, he looks as shocked as me at his confession.

"You...what?" I ask quietly, I need him to say it again, just to be sure I heard him right.

"I said I love you Ana Steele!" I can't help the huge Cheshire cat grin that spreads across my face.

"I love you too Christian, but you need help your behavior hasn't been rational for quite a long time now has it, I distracted you from it or met you during a good spell, but you have bad times too. You were evil the last time we fought and then you considered suicide didn't you?"

"Yes" he says hanging his head. "I can't control my impulses at all. I feel like im watching myself sometimes and can't stop whats happening." He lets out a small sob. I hear the door open downstairs.

"Miss Steele?" I hear the panic in his voice

"We are up here Taylor." I shout back. I look back up at Christian. His sobs have stopped and the fury has returned. He grabs me by the hair and pulls me into a bedroom, I let out a loud scream. He throws me onto the bed, ripping my clothes from my body. I hear Taylor at the door.

"ANA?" Taylor cries out

"TAYLOR HELP ME!" I scream loudly. Christian has ripped the clothes from his own body and is trying to force himself on me. I hear a loud crack and Taylor is in the room pulling Christian off of me.

"Shes MINE Taylor! Get your fucking hands off her."

"Christian NO!" I shout as he punches Taylor square on the jaw. Flynn rushes in followed by a woman who seems vaguely familiar. Taylor holds Christian against a wall pinning him there. The woman produces a vial and a needle and injects him with something. Within a minute he slumps down the wall.

"It's alright Ana. She gave him a sedative. There is an ambulance downstairs waiting for him." Flynn reassures me. The woman walks over to me.

"He will be ok." She says handing me a robe from the back of the door. "Thank you for getting him help I've been so worried, you will come and stay with us now won't you? Kate has been so worried about you." I can see her scanning me for injuries and apart from the obvious, im fine. "You may develop some bruising Ana and you must tell me if you do."

"I'm sorry, but who are you? You look familiar..."

"I'm Grace Trevelyan-Grey, Christians Mom"

"Oh god. I'm sorry Mrs Grey!"

"It's fine Ana. I want you to go to Bellevue with Taylor, I will be going with my son to the hospital."

"Can I come to the hospital, I need to be sure he's okay" I state. She looks at me surprised.

"Ana, unless I'm very wrong, my son just tried to rape you, and you want to stay?"

"Yes. It wasn't the real him, he could see what was happening but couldn't stop himself. I knew it was a possibility that he could attack me." She looks astounded as she takes in my words.

"What do you mean by he couldn't stop himself?" She asked urgently

"He told me that it felt like someone else stronger took over and he just had to stand back and watch or something like that."

"Oh my god, TAYLOR GET THE EMT'S IN HERE NOW!" She screamed rushing over to Christians side. "You'll be ok son! I'll make sure of it!" She whispers in his ear. I take up position at the other side and hold his hand.

"Whats wrong with him?" I ask slightly panicky.

"I think that he may have a brain tumor." She whispers quietly

The paramedics's rush into the room and get him on a stretcher and then we move very quickly to the ambulance. We reach the hospital in minutes. Grace starts shouting orders at the doctors and nurses in A and E and they all respond quickly. Soon Christian is on a bed with drips in the back of his hand and a heart monitor beeping out his heartbeat. I am moved out of the room by a kind nurse, she takes me to a small private room Taylor is inside on his mobile obviously arranging security for his room.

"Will you keep me informed?" I ask

"Yes of course dear, Dr Trevelyan will be in shortly." she gives me a friendly pat and leaves.

I sit on one of the chairs and slowly the room begins to fill with the Grey family all sobbing and hanging their heads. Kate rushes to my side and holds my hand, Elliot comes to my other side. I feel the warmth of his jacket as he drapes it around my shoulders. I look at Kate

"He told me he loves me Kate! What if something happens to him? He can't die! He just can't" I bawl my eyes out and Kate holds me tightly. I cry until there are none left. Grace comes into the room,

"He has a small tumor in his brain." the room goes into a stunned silence "He is in theater now. We just have to wait." I stand up and begin to pace the room up and down, no longer aware of anyone else in the room, I start talking to myself.

"It's all my fault, if he'd never met me he would have been fine. I made him sick, I did this. I need to leave, yes I need to leave I can't stay here, they all hate me, and they should I ruined him. It's all my fault." I move for the door and find Elliot blocking my way.

"No Ana this is not your fault!" he says holding me tightly. I can't hear him I just stare into his eyes and think about the bright gray ones I'll never see again

"Ana? Can you hear me? Ana? Ana?" I hear my name and someone shaking me but I don't respond. Elliot carries me to a chair and sits me down. Grace comes over and looks at me.

"I'm fine" I say. "I just need some air"

"Ana, honey, you're in shock. Kate could you go and get her a cup of hot sweet tea."

"Yeah, 'course I will" Kate lets go of my hand, how long was she holding it? was she pacing with me?

"Ta Kate" I say.

Kate comes back with the vilest cup of tea ive ever had the displeasure to drink. I drink it all just to make Grace happy and surprisingly feel a bit better. A doctor in blue scrubs comes into the room.

"We got it all out. It was benign and he is in the recovery room, you should be able to see him soon but only two of you for a few minutes, he is still gravely ill and open to infection." I look at Grace.

"I want to see him." I say. Mia scowls at me.

"Family first, don't you think mom?" she snaps back at me.

"Carrick and I will go"She says looking at me and Mia.

"No darling, you and Ana should go. He will want her not me." Carrick says looking at Mia warningly, almost saying don't argue. Her mouth had popped open but she promptly snaps it shut, and nods a small acknowledgment at her father.

"Thank you Mr Grey" I say. A nurse comes in ten minutes later Grace stands as do I we take hands and follow her towards Christian's room.

When I see him I'm shocked, his head is bandaged up and all his long copper locks are gone. He has drips in both hands now, and looks like he's gone three rounds with Mike Tyson. I move up beside him.

"Christian? I'm here" I whisper. His eyes flicker open. He looks at me then at his Mum.

"Mom, where am I?" He asks.

"You're in hospital honey, you had a brain tumor. They have removed it. You are going to be fine." She tells him

"Who are you? Are you my nurse?" he asks me.

I feel the silent tear run down my face.

"No. I'm Ana Steele" I reply, maybe he'll remember my name.

"Oh why are you here?"

My heart is breaking, I stand up and run from the room. I run back to Kate.

"He doesn't know me Kate, he doesn't know who I am!" I choke out. She holds me shushing me. Grace comes back a minute later.

"I'm so sorry Ana!" She wraps her arms around me "He has amnesia. The doctors are going to test how bad it is, I'm just so sorry Ana"

"Will he ever remember me?" I ask

"I don't know."

"I want to go home. My only reason to be here doesn't exist anymore! I will be back in Scotland waiting for him. If he remembers he can come for me." I say. I turn and walk out of the room leaving them all aghast.

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**Poor Ana! Hope you liked it. Leave me a review if you did!**

**CarrieJ x**


	18. Homeward Bound?

**A/N: All characters belong to E. L. James**

**Sorry it's taken so long to update but I've had poorly children x Thank you for all the lovely reviews and just a wee shoutout to Louisvuittonfreak they know why x **

**Enjoy...**

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I only make it a few paces along the hall before Grace catches up with me

"Ana! Wait!" I don't turn around I can't bear for her to see me, my heartbreak is etched upon my face.

"Just leave me alone Grace! He doesn't know me, he thought I was his fucking nurse!" I sob. She grabs my arm and spins me into her embrace.

"Ana, give him time, he's just come out of surgery. He needs you, honey." She soothes me cuddling me into her chest and stroking my hair. She leads me back to her family

"Carrick, I think Ana needs a rest, we should all go back to Bellevue, they're not going to let us see Christian again until tomorrow." She says still holding me. I look up at the Grey family and one by one they filter out the door until only Mia remains.

"You can go home if you want. I'm staying with Christian, he needs us!" She says, eyeing me like the enemy.

"Mia, I don't know what your problem with me is and quite frankly I don't give a shit, but don't for one second imply that I don't care about your brother!" I say sharply

"Well Ana, it seems like you don't!" She says. I break free from Grace and stride towards Mia, I slap her hard across the face."You gold digging bitch!" She screams at me. "He doesn't remember you and I hope he never does! You are only interested in his bank balance!"

"Mia! That is quite enough! Now I don't know why you dislike Ana so much, but grow up and act like the civil human being I raised because quite frankly, I'm ashamed of you right now!" Grace scolded her daughter. "All Ana has done is find him and get him help you should be grateful to this young woman, not be critical of her motives!"

Mia hangs her head cowed by her mother.

"I'm sorry for hitting you Mia, but no one talks about me like that, and for your information I'd never heard of your brothers company or his money, and quite frankly if he lived on the street I'd still love him. It's a shame you have judged me before meeting me I think we could have gotten along." I say before turning away and heading back out the room.

"Sorry Ana" She whispers as I walk away. I turn, make eye contact, and nod in acknowledgment. Then I turn back and follow Carrick to the car.

The night passes in a blur. I'm so tired. Grace ensures I'm fed and watered before getting Kate to take me to bed. I find myself in a plain bedroom, not really in keeping with the house. It has stark white walls with a few posters on them. It also has a large bed with white plump pillows and plush covers that feel so soft. Kate helps me with my clothes and brushes out my hair for me, I put on a simple nightdress and slide under the covers. Kate leans over and gives me a kiss, she tucks me in and switches off the light. I fall asleep instantly.

When I awaken in the morning I feel refreshed and brighter. I see someone has been in while I was asleep as there are clean clothes draped over the back of a white wicker chair in the corner for me. I dress quickly, there are petal pink silk pants and matching bra, a pair of lace topped stockings, I groan when I see them I hate stockings they always end up rumpled round my ankles, surely with all the women in this house there must be a pair of tights! I slide them up my legs and surprisingly they stay put, at least for now! I pick up the next garment, it's a white layered floaty skirt, groan, I don't like showing my legs! The top at least I can live with it's a pale pink vest top with small crystals on it and a white crocheted cardigan. I look okay, I suppose! I have a little poke around the bedroom, it definitely is not used often but all the stuff in the drawers point to it belonging to one person, Christian! I make my way out of the room and into the hall. This place is massive! I find my way down to a lobby and then follow my ears, it sounds like everyone is up. I open a door and find myself in the lounge, there is an adjoining set of double doors that leads into a huge kitchen, and there around a huge table are the Grey family. Elliot sitting with Kate at one side and his Mum on the other, his Dad is beside her, I spy an empty chair beside Kate and move into it. I'm greeted warmly.

"Nice outfit Steele!" Kate says

"Yeah thanks for it Kate"

"I didn't get you any clothes!" She replies I look at Grace who shakes her head, just then Mia bursts in.

"I see you got the clothes I left you" She says. I blush. Mia picked me an outfit? "It's my way of saying sorry Ana. I have been a bitch to you and you've really done nothing to deserve it, its Christian I'm mad at because he wouldn't tell me about you. I saw the press pictures and you both looked so happy..." she tails off. OMG Shes been a bitch because she's jealous!

"Thanks for the clothes Mia it was a lovely gesture." I say politely. " I thought you were staying at the hospital?" I ask.

"They kicked me out, they said what mum said and sent me home." she explained

"So when are we going back to the hospital?" I ask

"As soon as we've eaten." I smile at that. I can't wait to see him again, I hope he recognises me this time. I think I'll struggle if he doesn't. I finish the plate of pancakes quickly and ready myself for the trip. In the car I sit between Kate and Mia. Kate holds my hand supportively talking animatedly to Mia, it seems they have really hit it off! I stay quiet and zone out, only coming back to reality when Mia elbows me to move out the open car door.

"Earth to Ana? Come in Ana? We're here!" Kate shouts as she pulls my hand. I jump out the car. Taylor is standing at the hospital door,

"Nice to see you Miss Steele" he says. I shoot him daggers, how dare he? He knew the whole time, he could have helped! He could have told me what the fuck was going on!

"I wish I could say the same" I spit as I walk past. He reaches to grab my arm. "Don't fucking touch me Taylor! I'm not some little plaything that you could use for your bosses entertainment! I'm a fucking person with feelings and you, you put me in a dangerous position, you knew what he was going through, and you led me there like a lamb to the fucking slaughter! Tell me something, was he there before I arrived or did you go and get him so he could stalk me in his deranged state?" I accuse.

"I'm sorry ma'am" He says quietly

"Don't talk to me unless you have something meaningful to say" I turn and walk away.

"What the hell was all that about with Christians bodyguard?" Kate asks

"Don't ask!" I reply. She knows from the tone in my voice not to argue. We all gather in the same waiting room as last night. Mia and Grace go through first. I'm going in with Carrick next. We are allowed to stay longer today as he is doing well. Grace walks in first and she is positively glowing, followed by Mia who looks and smiles in my direction. I hope this visit goes better than yesterday. Kate gives me a pat on the back as I stand. I take Carrick's hand and walk towards Christians room. I hesitate outside the door and pull my hand from Carrick.

"You go in first" I say shakily. His dad pushes the door open and I catch a glimpse of him lying there. He catches a glimpse of me too, I feel the air between us crackle with the electricity.

"Anastasia?" He says. I nearly faint, I find myself propelled forward pulled by the electric charge that connects us. "Oh Ana! I thought you were a dream!" He says staring into my eyes. I rush to his side

"You remember me?"

"Yes, not everything but I remember your face and your name." He remembers me!

"Oh god Christian you had me so worried"

"What happened to me Ana? Were you there?" I look at Carrick he shakes his head

"Christian I don't think I should be answering these questions, I think you need to remember" I state

"Dad? Where's Maria?" With that question my stomach drops to the floor. I feel the familiar tug of heartbreak all over again.

"I'd better go" I cant wait to leave, I need some air, he remembers my face but not me and not us.

"Ana wait!" He calls. I look at him holding back the tears, I feel the dam break as they start to trickle down my face.

"What?"

"Don't go, I don't want you to leave"

"I can't stay, you don't know me"

"Tell me how I know you? Tell me why I feel like my heart will break if you walk out the door, explain to me why I feel so strongly for you, talk to me, I know you know me. I need to know that if you walk out of that door that you will come back and not run off back to Glasgow"

"I wont! I cant answer everything else, you need time to heal, but it's obviously coming back to you."

"No Ana it's not, all I know is in my dreams your face is always there."

"You know more than you think! How do you know where I live?"

"I don't"

"Yes you do, you just told me not to run back home to"

"Glasgow" He finishes for me. "Elliot is there at some uni. Maria has something to do with this I cant remember what though"

"I will come back. Have some time with your dad. I'll see you later" I leave the room feeling elated that he remembered my face but utterly dejected that he didnt remember me.

The next weeks follow the same pattern, although now Mia's being slightly less cold towards me, but I still know she has an issue! At least Kate is now the one picking out my clothes, thank god for that! Christian is slowly remembering more and more. Just random things about me though. He remembers Maria in perfect detail, right down to what outfit she wore last time he saw her. I know I shouldn't be jealous but my boyfriend remembers every intricate detail of a woman who died nearly a year ago but nothing significant about me. It's hard to see him struggle with his memories all jumbled up. He knows he was in hospital and remembers John Flynn and the feelings of despair, its like he has a huge jigsaw puzzle in his head and all the pieces are in the wrong place, he's just starting to slot them together but there is a huge gaping hole in the middle and he can't seem to get the pieces to fit. I sit with him as often as I'm allowed as he seems to make the most progress with me in the room. It's really hard for me to listen to as he talks about his life, but I feel like this is his way of letting me in, his subconscious knows who I am and that he needs me, unfortunately his conscious still hangs onto Maria.

Today is a good day, Christian is going home! He's refused to go to Bellevue, not that I can blame him he doesn't take kindly to mothering! He has his own place, some apartment in the city. He wants me to be there when he comes home. Elliot and Kate offer to take me over. We pull up outside an impressive building. It's all glass and its stunning. Elliot puts in a code to the underground garage and parks in a bay. We all get out of the car and Elliot leads us to a lift. It's extremely large and we all fit in easily. There is a keypad beside the door, Elliot steps forward and instead of pressing a floor number he has opened a little box underneath and punched in another code?! Wow this place is like fort knocks! The lift ascends to the very top of the building and opens into a large white entrance hall. I'm stunned by the scale of this place!

"Yo bro? You here?" Elliot shouts.

"Yeah I'm in here" his muffled voice comes from behind a door. We move though it and are in a large open plan room it has floor to ceiling windows, it is stunning!

"Close your mouth Ana and stop gawping" Kate whispers at me. I snap my jaw shut but can't help staring at my unfamiliar surroundings. This place is massive it looks like a show home. Beautiful art hangs from the walls, the furniture is sparse but what there is looks like it cost as much as I could earn in a year! I suppose this would be classed as minimalistic? It looks empty and unlived in. I find it a tad creepy.

"Hey Ana good to see you. Hiya Kate how are you? Nice to see you Elliot and bringing two lovely women with you too!" His voice echoes in the space, it reverberates around me. Christian looks so small and vulnerable on the huge couch. I move to sit near him, he looks disappointed that I didn't sit beside him but tries to cover it. Elliot plops down next to him with Kate practically on his knee, I swear these two are at it like rabbits! Their room is next to mine at Bellevue and well I don't think they sleep much! All times of the night I get woken by Kate's screams of ecstasy it's not exactly how I prefer to spend my nights, its gotten to the point that Mia told them over breakfast this morning to stop the 3am session or to go back to Elliot's place. I could have kissed her! But I don't think that would have been appreciated somehow!

"How are you feeling Christian? Should you not be in bed resting?" I ask

"Yeah but I wanted to see you first" he says.

"Right, bed now Mr Grey!" I say standing "Elliot can you help get Christian to his room please?" He stands too and helps his brother up. They stagger towards a door and when I see where they are going I jump in front of them and open the door. I move into another huge room with the biggest bed ive ever seen in it! I pull down the covers and plump up the pillows. "In you get, you need your rest"

"You are as bad as my mom!" he teases as he slides onto the bed. I pull the covers over him and tuck him in.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink?" I offer

"No thanks Ana, Mrs Jones has already prepared lunch for us and will be serving it shortly." I feel my guts churning at the mention of her name. The last time I saw her was before... that night. I feel sick. "Taylor!" He shouts. I feel my legs giving out under me

"Where is the loo?" I ask trying to escape before he arrives.

"Through that door" He says pointing to a door off his bedroom, I step into a large room but barely take it in. I rush to the toilet, not bothering to close the door, just in time to see my breakfast make a reappearance, I feel awful! Kate comes in behind me and holds my hair back while I continue to wretch. When I'm done, she sits me on a chair that Elliot has brought in from the bedroom and cleans me up. She washes my face and gets a cool flannel and presses it to my head. I hear Taylor leave the room.

"Ana? Are you feeling okay?"

"No, my head is swimming and I still feel sick, and really hot, it's so hot in here. I need air" I say.

"Right let's get you outside for a minute." We move back int Christians room, where he is now sitting on the edge of the bed wearing his concern plainly on his face for me.

"Ana? Do you want me to come outside with you, the door is just here to the balcony." He offers

"That would be nice" I say quietly. Kate and Elliot go back through to the, I suppose you could call it, living room? Looking happy to have more snogging time! I swear those two breathe as one!

He takes me out onto the balcony, the views are stunning! I sit on one of the chairs Christian sits on the one next to me.

"Do you want to tell me what that was all about? Or are you ill?"

"Christian, your staff remind me of a bad time and I'm sorry for my reaction but..."

"They remind you of the night I tried to attack you. That's what you mean isn't it?"

"You remember?" I look at him confused. "How much do you remember? Everything or just that night?"

"I remember quite a lot now Ana, more than you know. I know Maria is dead. I think ive dealt with that too because when I remembered I felt okay, It made sense to me. It's like the dots started connecting in my head. The hospital, the trip to Scotland, everything fit all of a sudden it was like a light switch had flicked on in my head. Ana I remember you, the strongest of all, I remember loving you Ana!" I am absolutely shocked by this man! He remembers that night?

"Christian, I need to know, What was Taylor's involvement? Did you or he put me in danger?"

"Ana I was in a really bad place. I have only vague memories, I know you have issues with Taylor but Ana you have to drop this till I remember it's obviously not doing you any good and it's not helping me either seeing you distressed like this!"

"I'm sorry but I do remember and it happened to me! Sorry for wanting answers!"

"You want answers? YOU want answers? I want fucking answers Ana! I don't know what happened and Taylor is saying nothing!"

"Where is he? I'll find out what the hell happened!" I storm back inside, I can hear Kate and Elliot at it somewhere but at least they are out of view! "TAYLOR! JASON TAYLOR I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!" I scream loud enough that even Kate and Elliot stop what they are doing. Taylor comes striding into the room.

"Ma'am" He says bowing his head.

"I need to know everything Taylor and as Christian can't remember I need you to help me understand." I say politely but firmly.

"Yes Miss Steele. Where would you like me to begin?"

"Did you bring Christian back here to Seattle?"

"No, but I was aware of his intentions, he assigned me to guard you Miss Steele and I have followed you ever since."

"You've been what?" I'm flabbergasted! How dare he, how dare Christian!

"I was following orders ma'am. I also assigned one of the detail to discretely follow Mr Grey in Scotland and then had Sawyer follow him after he got off the plane. We have been in permanent contact."

"Was Christian at that house when I arrived or did he come after me?"

"He saw you on the news. He went straight to the garden looking for you. Sawyer spoke to him when he arrived he was agitated but wanted to see you. He did follow him but he eluded him and hid in the bushes. Then we arrived and you were so sure you could help and we were there if you needed us. When you found that rose... we panicked and tried to get you inside but you ran back out, we knew he was unstable but not quite how bad it was. Then you came back with his message about calling Flynn we knew he wanted you safe so we put you in the safe room especially when we saw what he had done to the garden! He came in and tore up the house looking for you, we managed to deflect him away from your direction but he got outside again and we lost him, but not before he told me to tell you nothing, and take you away."

"You knew I wouldn't leave though" the realisation is dawning on me, Taylor was there to protect me, I was the stupid one I'd put myself in danger and walked into a dangerous situation and taken no one with me. How stupid am I?

"Ma'am, you were doing what you thought was best. You did save his life" He says

"Ana, oh my god Ana! I'm so sorry, how fucking awful am I?" I spin on my heel to see Christian staring grimly at me. I rush into his arms. I suddenly feel ok to let out all the emotions id been holding back. I cry onto his chest. He wraps his arms around me and strokes my hair. He leads me back to his room and we lie on his bed together. I find my mouth drawn up to his. The kiss releases us from the tension of the last couple of weeks. I feel my desire building as he pulls me into him on the bed.

"Christian can we just cuddle?" I ask as I don't think he should be straining himself physically so soon after his op.

"Yes baby" He strokes my hair and back. I fall asleep in my loving boyfriend's arms and dream of the better days to come.

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**Hope you liked it! I will try to update soon x**

**CarrieJ x**


	19. Pandora's Box

**A/N: The character names all belong to E. the story is mine!**

**Hope you like this one I really struggled with it! If you want to follow me I am on Facebook as Carriej Fanfic and I am part of a fabby group called FSOG Fanfiction. It's for those of us obsessed with reading and writing fifty shades fanfics! **

**Enjoy...**

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When I awaken I am alone on the bed, Christian isn't here. I get up and look in the toilet, that now that I have a chance to see it is amazing, it's huge with a massive shower and two sinks a loo and enough space to have a bloody party in! It's like a supersized hotel loo and this is his en suite? He must have thought my house was tiny! I open the next door and its a walk in wardrobe, it's as big as the en suite! He has his clothes all over the place I thought he seemed like the type of guy that would colour coördinate his wardrobe but no, he is normal or maybe the housekeeper does it to annoy him, I'll have to ask! I come back into the bedroom and go out into the big room. I still don't see him anywhere? I have a look about but feel like im just snooping now and that's just plain rude so I go to the couch and retrieve my bag. I pull out my phone and call his number. I hear the ringing nearby so I follow the sound, it's coming from behind a door. I shut my phone off and gently knock.

"Come in" I hear. I push the door open and I'm in a large office. Christian is sat behind a desk shuffling papers about. He looks up and see its me. He smiles "Well hello sleepyhead!" he says laughing.

"Hey" I say feeling slightly intimidated by this room, I don't really like offices they remind me of the one trip to the headmasters office I had in high school, not a pleasant experience or one I'd like to repeat any time soon! I shift from one foot to the other uncomfortably. I'm itching to leave.

"Something the matter?" He asks worriedly.

"Not really, well, I suppose, I don't like offices!" I splutter out like a child.

"Really?" he sounds bemused "Can I ask why?"

"Erm, well, its gonna sound stupid!"

"Go on Ana, tell me!"

"I had to go to the head masters office when I was fourteen. It was big and foosty and smelled like stale alcohol."

"Foosty?"

"You know kinda damp and stoory."

"Stoory?"

"Dusty Christian! Bloody dusty, sorry but you need to learn my words! Go online and google Scottish dictionary for gods sake!" I glower at him, but he just smiles knowing that he's wound me up. "Anyway as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was called to Mr Smith's office, I don't even remember what I'd done, but god did he shout and he kept hitting a cane on his desk top saying that in his days the cane taught you a lesson. Then He bellowed more right in my face before waiting until I was completely in submission and he swatted me right across the thighs with the cane. I wet myself right there in that office, and for that he caned me again." I'm now shaking and crying and trying my best not to relive the memory or I'm sure I'd be leaving another puddle right here, right now. Christian hurries to my side as quickly as he can.

"Ana, nothing like that will ever happen to you again. I promise you." He gently leads me from the room. I bolt to the toilet to throw up for the second time today and to have a pee before I really do wet myself. "Ana baby, I think you should see a doctor! How long have you been feeling ill?

"I don't feel ill at all, my emotions are all over the place and whenever I get upset I tend to puke, its one of my nastier habits!" I fess up.

"Are you ok to eat lunch then?"

"Yeah! Right as rain!" I smile knowing he's probably never heard that saying either! He smiles back and nods.

We eat in the big room at a large table. Mrs Jones has made us pasta Carbonara, and its delicious. I wolf it down, Christian picks at it.

"If you don't eat you'll take longer to recover." I warn him. He looks up and grins. He eats a bit more before proclaiming that he's had enough. I clear the table with him. We get all the dishes to the sink before he pulls me in for a deep kiss. Oh god how ive missed these!

"Leave the dishes Mrs Jones will get them." He says his voice thick with desire.

He pulls me back to his room and helps strip me naked, thank god the plaster cast came off last week! I jump onto the bed eager for whats happening.

"Are you sure your ready for this?"

"Yes I asked the doctor before I left." Oh OK that's a shocker! I wouldn't have had the nerve!

With that green light I pull of his t-shirt and he removes his own trousers. We both lie panting in out underwear on his bed. He reaches up and strokes his hand through my hair tugging gently and then pulling me closer. His lips press firmly onto mine. I put my arms round his back and stroke from the shoulder down to that sexy arse of his. He pulls his hands from my hair and rocks me onto my side to undo my bra. He pushes it off freeing my breasts. I side it off completely and throw it across the room. I grab the waistband of his undies and push them down. He slides off my knickers and deposits them and his own pants on the floor too. He rolls me flat on my back and hovers over me. I reach up with my hands and feel that chest of his. His pecs are hard and his abs are so taught the six-pack is amazing! I run my hands round his back and squeeze his backside. He moves his mouth down to my nipples and he nibbles them I moan and push my chest out he gently cups both breasts in his hands. He moves his mouth off of me and pulls my nipples with his fingers. His lips run down my front, my hands move up into his hair pushing him further down as my desire for him grows. His lips skim down and over me and down my thighs. He nibbles and kisses his way slowly back up my thighs, my body is pulsing and my hips are moving with a rhythm of their own. His mouth glides up and over me kissing me all around before settling on my clitoris. His tongue strokes it up and down, he sucks gently and I can feel my orgasm building. It's coiled up in my stomach ready to explode, one more flick and I burst, coming loudly, my body shaking and trembling with pure joy. I feel like im floating on a cloud of bliss. I am vaguely aware of Christian climbing up my body slowly kissing his way back up to my lips. He slows down to tease my nipples that are really sensitive in my post orgasmic state. I reach down and grab his arse and squeeze it, before I run my nails up his back and into his hair. He abruptly stops what he was doing and pushes his mouth to mine. I push my tongue into his mouth and he groans before entangling it with his own. I feel him pushing and easing himself inside me. He starts gently slowly rocking us. I gyrate my pelvis to grind against him, he moans and breaks off the kiss panting. I begin to thrust at him from below and before I realise whats happening I'm sitting astride him on the top. I sit up and rock my hips in a circular motion, I love the look on his face. He can barely contain himself. I'm gonna make him come hard because I can! I quicken my pace, he stares into my eyes. I can see the fire burning in them, it ignites something in me that causes me to push him and me on higher and higher until he comes loudly, moaning my name as he holds my bum. I keep my rhythm going until I find my own release again. I cry out his name over and over as the waves of pleasure crash over me. I collapse down on to his body.

"Christian? Ana?" Oh shit!

Grace Trevelyan-Grey bursts into the room.

"Are you ok?" She shouts before she sees us. Christian shifts quickly pulling a sheet up to cover us.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" He asks his shell-shocked mother

"I came to check on you and I heard all that screaming and though someone was hurt." She turns away from us.

"We will be out in five minutes mom." He says. Grace quickly leaves the room. "Shit Ana that was close!"

"Close?! She walked in on us! Thats not close that's being busted by your mother! I'm mortified! She thought someone was hurt?"

"Well I did tell you your loud baby!" He laughs, sliding out the bed and slipping on some clothes quickly.

"Christian? Where's the condom?"

"Oh fuck! I forgot!" The look on his face is priceless

"Good job I've got a coil isn't it?" I see him let out a breath I wasnt aware he'd been holding. I go to retrieve my clothes I find my bra but no knickers? "You seen my knickers?"

"Nope." Hmmm... I don't believe him for a second what the hell does he want my pants for? "Here wear these" He chucks a pair of boxer shorts at me, I put them on and its obvious that they are two or three sizes too big the waist band wont stay up! I pull them back off and slide on my dress and see that he has laddered my tights so I ditch them too. I shrug on my cardi and im ready to go. He sees his undies on the bed and raises an eyebrow at me but says nothing he just grabs my hand and pulls me out the room to go through and see Grace.

"Hey Mom" He bends over and places a kiss on her cheek, she blushes when she sees me. I lower my head a little and look down, trying to hide my embarrassment.

"Christian, Ana" She nods politely "I'm sorry for barging in on you but..." She tails off and ive never been so grateful in my whole life!

"Mom its fine, just forget about it!" he laughs. I just feel awkward sitting here knickerless knowing that she has just heard me orgasm and walked in on the aftershow party!

"Yeah its fine Grace" I say quietly. She nods.

"What I really wanted you two for was dinner at ours this evening. Your father would like to talk to you both about the court case, and the upcoming return to Scotland"

"Right we will be there" he answers

"Will you bring Kate and Elliot too?" She asks

"Yeah I think they are upstairs..." Grace smiles and shakes her head

"Those two are inseparable in every way possible! I don't suppose you want them here do you? Mia is cracking up at them!"

"Mom Elliot has his own place..."

"Yes I know but I'd be happier if he stayed with you, or you could all stay with us on one condition... no noise after dark!" I look at Christian and we both smirk as does Grace and we all laugh loudly, Kate and Elliot appear on the stairs

"Hey Guys whats so funny?" Elliot asks

"I think Mom has just put a sex ban on her house Elliot! So do you two wanna stay here or are you going to your own place?" Grace shakes her head at Christians lack of tactfulness.

"I don't know! I suppose we will stay here if that's all right with you and Ana?" He looks at me and I nod, it's not my house and if he wants his brother here then he should have him!

"Yeah I suppose, just till we take these wonderful women home though" He clarifies, im sure Christian likes his own space. "Taylor?" He calls

"Yes sir?"

"Miss Steele, Miss Kavanagh and Elliot will be staying here I will need an SUV to take us to Bellevue where we will be dining tonight and to bring back all the luggage."

"Yes Sir"

"We are leaving in five minutes"

"Yes sir"

Five minutes? Oh god I need to fix my wayward hair! I excuse myself and grab Kate. I drag her into the loo in Christians room

"You have to help me fix my hair"

"Course babe, ive got a bobble in my bag." She begins to root around in her bag pulling out random stuff. Her purse, Elliot's keys, a pair of handcuffs? I raise my eyebrows and she winks at me

"Nothing like a little bondage!"

Then comes yet more kinky apparel, a small whip, a string of balls and right before the hair bobble a dildo

"Kate? A dildo? In your handbag? What kind of stuff are you into? On second thoughts don't answer that, please god do not tell me!"

"We just have fun, and like I would leave Ernie at his mums house she'd freak if she found him!"

"Ernie? You gave your dildo a name?!" I'm dumfounded! I knew men liked to name their penis' but girls naming vibrators? Thats weird! Mine sure doesn't have a name, and is safely in my drawer back home! "More to the point Kate why did you bring it with you?"

"I didn't! Elliot bought him for me, he uses him..."

"LA LA LA LALA" I stick my fingers in my ears there is only so much I need to know!

"Ana, here!" she says thrusting the bobble at me. I grab it and scrape my hair back with a comb she also came across in her bag. I look slightly less fucked now which is good!

We make our way back out to everyone. Christian nods in approval of my hairdo. I put it half up scraping it all off my face and making the best of what I had.

"Time to go ladies" Christian announces holding his arm out, Elliot does the same. Kate and I take our mens arms and Grace strides on in front having taken Taylors.

When we arrive at Bellevue all our stuff has been packed already and is waiting to go into the car. Crap! Id been hoping to grab a pair of knickers out of my bag before dinner. Christian keeps looking at me in that way, I think he's pretty turned on by his commando girlfriend. We enjoy a pleasant meal with all the family, scowling Mia is back, just when I thought I'd made progress! We have a chat with Carrick about the Scottish trial. It will be held in a months time so we need to go home soon as we will be called as witnesses for the prosecution. Carrick gave my parents address for the citations to go to and knows that they should be delivered within the next few days. Christian decides we can stay for one more day and fly out tomorrow night. Carrick agrees. Christian offers to take me on a tour of the grounds. I happily accept as I feel distinctly uncomfortable sitting commando in his parents lounge!

We shuffle through the kitchen and out some patio doors. He leads me across the grass down towards the water. The views are beautiful, not quite what I'm used to as a country bumpkin! I stop to absorb it all. Christian grabs my arm and pulls me on

"Come on Ana, your driving me wild here! I didn't bring you for a tour!" I look up at him confused, he sweeps down and lands a passionate kiss on me before dragging me to a little boat house on the water. We step inside and he pulls me up a set of stairs not bothering with the lights. He pulls me into a large room with views across the water, its beautifully lit by the moonlight. He leads me to a large couch and he sits down. "Ana! Oh sweet Ana! You know how to torture a man! Why did you not just put on the underwear I gave you?"

"It was too big!"

"God Ana I've been rock hard the whole time!"

"Let me see if I can help you with that." I say seductively dropping down onto my knees and pulling him forward. He stands up and I quickly undo his belt and drop his pants. I take him in my mouth gently and suck and twirl him around. He groans. He thrusts gently into me and I tighten my grip slightly.

"Oh Ana" he cries. I start sliding up and down his length, he rams into me, I splutter slightly but don't stop. "Sorry baby, your just so damn good at this!" He holds my head and thrusts more gently I flick my tongue around the end. He looks down at me and I give him my best innocent look, and he thrusts faster and faster, I grab his arse and dig my nails in as he continues to thrust. I flutter my eyelashes at him and grab his balls with one hand and keep the other on his ares this seems to tip him over the edge and he thrusts harder until I can feel his warm salty juices flowing down my throat. "Oh fuck Ana" he cries as he comes. "I fucking love you!"

"I love you too." I say as I clean myself up. He hands me something. I look at it more closely. It my knickers! "Why do you have my knickers?"

"I thought it would be sexy for you to wear mine." He replies "Only you took it a step further you naughty girl!" I put them in my bag making sure he sees im still not wearing them. "Oh god Ana! You're seriously killing me here!" I bend over so he gets a right eyeful. He reaches down and feels me. "God you are so wet!" He moans

"Yup! Just you wait till I get you home Mr Grey! Kate has been giving me suggestions..." He looks confused "She carries around handcuffs in her bag...and a lot of other sexy things..."

"You wanna play?" He looks astounded, and so am I really. I'm new to this but nothing ventured nothing gained!

"That depends on the game Mr Grey"

"Oh baby I have lots of toys, all designed for playtime... and I'll play any game you want!"

Oh with that sensual threat hanging in the air I really want to leave here now. I want to go back to his for a bit of playtime!

"Can we go to yours now?" I sound a bit too eager I'm sure but in an equally excited tone he replies

"Yeah, lets grab Elliot and Kate and get home."

We walk back into the lounge and all eyes stare at us. I blush profusely and lower my gaze. I know we are all consenting adults but really they must thing Scottish women are nymphomaniacs! First Kate and now me, we are not a good advertisement for our country!

"Mom, Dad, Mia its been a lovely evening but we are going to head back to Escala now. Elliot, Kate are you coming?"

"Not quite yet, I'll drive us back later. See you Ana"

"Bye" I say still unable to make eye contact with anyone. I get a chorus of byes in return and a couple of hugs from Grace and Carrick before we leave.

We ride in silence back to Escala I can hear my heart pounding in my chest. The sexual tension in the car is bristling, I'm sure Taylor can feel it as he looks decidedly uncomfortable driving us. Christian keeps looking me up and down and I do the same in return. I'm already mentally undressing him. We arrive and get out of the car. Christian and I get in the lift alone, he puts in his code and the lift zooms up. We don't touch each other knowing that we would just end up doing it like a couple of Neanderthals right here right now! He strides out the lift just ahead of me, leading the way towards sexual experimentation. He climbs the stairs. I follow behind, trailing like a little puppy. He stops in front of a door and pulls out a key.

"Don't freak out when you walk in, okay?" How can I promise that? He stays still oh he does want the unreasonable promise!

"Okay..." I say not sounding as sure as I should, but it's obviously good enough for him as the door swings open and he strides in. I follow behind taking my first ever peek into Pandora's box...

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**Ok so what do you think? Review or send me a pm either here or on Facebook. I havent quite decided on whats in the room yet so I can't even give spoilers! lol Hope to post soon my updates have been slower because of my ill kids but they are all fine now so back to usual I hope!**

**CarrieJ x**

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	20. Kinky Fuckery

**A/N character names belong to E. L. James the story is mine!**

**This is my first attempt at all things kinky fuckery, please be gentle with your reviews, I was nervous about this chapter I suppose that's why its taken so long to write! Big thanks to my constant reviewers I love you all! To clarify they are in Seattle at the moment heading back to Scotland for Jack Hyde's trial in the next couple of chapters!**

**Enjoy...**

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I look round not quite sure that this is reality at all! I stare at Christian. Boy does he have a hidden side! I'm in a huge room its a bit bigger than Christians bedroom but then to fit in all this I suppose it needs to be! It's deceptively warm and inviting, until you look up and see the black ceiling. He flicks a switch and the walls begin to change colour in gentle waves, and the ceiling lights up with thousands of bulbs that make it look like the nights sky. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. He touches another button and soft music fills the room. The space is dominated by a four-poster bed in the middle of the room, It's not as big as the bed downstairs and looks antique with its ornately carved mahogany posts. There are indentations in the luxurious red carpet where there has obviously been other furniture before. There are things hanging down from the ceiling too, ropes of all different lengths and some chains. There are also large industrial looking hooks in the ceiling as if other thing have been there too... Along one wall are drawers built out from the wall, all sleek and modern with stainless steel handles. Across another wall hangs a blood-red curtain I step forward to touch it but Christian stops me.

"Do you trust me Ana?" He stares deep into my eyes

"Yes" I breathe, there is something forbidden about this room, it fills me with lust and fear in equal quantities.

"Hold out your hands." He commands. I hold them out and hear a snapping sound, holy shit he's handcuffed me!

"What are you doing?" I ask

"Playtime!" He replies, oh god he seems to be quite into this kinky shit!

"Yeah? You could have told me! What else do you have planned?"

"If I tell you that you wont react naturally, I need you to trust me. I won't ever hurt you Ana I love you"

"I'm not sure about this I mean you had brain surgery 4 weeks ago! I don't think the handcuffs are really necessary!"

"Ok, how about I handcuff one hand to something and put the key within your reach? I don't want you to be scared of me Ana!"

"Nah how about I handcuff YOU?!"

"Yeah im up for that!" He removes the cuffs from me placing the key on top of the drawers. He hands me the cuffs and pulls his top off and jumps onto the bed.

"Can I cuff you to the bed?"

"Whatever will give you the greatest pleasure baby!"

"Hmmm..." I cuff one hand to the bed post, his eyes flare with delight. I move over to the drawers "You got any other sets?"

"Yup, third drawer down on the left." I open the drawer and find an array of restraints I can't help the gasp that escapes my lips, Christian laughs, cheeky sod!

"These ones I think!" I pull out a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs placing the attached key on the drawers too. I snap the cuff to his other wrist and the bed post. He is lying on his back looking up at the stars. I decide to go and have a look around while my man is helpless! "So what do we have here." I rifle through his drawers. I open the first one to find a multitude of vibrating implements. A few rabbits, a couple of plain little bullets and a few bloody huge cock like ones! There are also cock rings and some things that I wouldn't even like to guess what or where they are for!

"Having fun Miss Steele?"

"Oh yes Mr Grey!"

"Your curiosity knows no bounds does it?"

"Should it?"

"Fair point"

"Do you mind me poking in your drawers Mr Grey?"

"No, poke away, I'd rather see you naked though!"

"I thought we needed some playthings..."

"Ana you wouldn't know what to do with half that stuff anyway!" Shit that's true! I am drawn to the curtain, it seems to be hiding something... He catches my eye line "No Ana don't open the curtain. Please" He begs so I retreat

"Only if you tell me where I can get a whip, because you've been a very naughty boy!" His eyes light up like a kid at christmas!

"Top drawer in the middle" He pants. I open the drawer and am presented with an array of whips some look like crops for horses and others look like feather dusters, there is one that catches my eye, Its black leather and looks like a mop head but the handle has little diamonds studded onto it and a large one at the end.

"Oh I think ive found the one." I lift it out and hide it behind my back. I walk over to the bed. "What would you like me to do to you Mr Grey?" I flutter my lashes at him

"Whatever the fuck you like Ana!" I lightly slap him across the stomach with the whip, he groans

"Dont swear or ill do it again!"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" he chants. I flick the whip over his chest and across his torso, this is such a turn on!

I climb on top of him sitting on his knees, I crouch forward and gently lick his thighs, I slowly move up his legs and towards his huge throbbing penis. I look up at him straining against the cuffs trying to see what in doing, I lap up towards him and just as he thinks im going to blow him I lash him hard on the chest with the whip. He groans loudly and his hips gyrate below me. He is trying to control himself for me! I realise that I want him now. I straddle his hips and make him penetrate me slowly. He moans loudly.

"Oh Ana... Ana, ANA!" Hes close to coming so I sit and do nothing until his breathing slows down, then I get to work! I ride him hard and fast I can see his eyes glazing over and hear his breathing becoming more erratic and then I hear him hiss my name

"OH FUCK ANA!" He yells pulling on his restraints I keep up my rhythm until I can feel him relaxing beneath me. I gently climb off and retrieve the keys. I unlock him and he holds me close. I don't realise what he's doing until its done. He has cuffed my wrists to the bed where his were but im lying on my belly on the bed and slightly nervous.

"Christian I don't like this!" I shout. I turn my head and I can see him moving about by the drawers. He is pulling things out but I can't quite see what from this angle. "Christian please"

"Trust me Ana!" He implores, and I suppose I have no choice.

"What are you going to do to me? Are you going to hit me?"

"I'll not do anything you're uncomfortable with, but if you feel panicked just shout out a random word"

"What bloody word?"

"A safe word!"

"Haggis!"

"Okay... If you shout haggis I'll stop and release you immediately. Now trust me Ana!" I bury my head in the mattress trying to block out the panic that has well and truly set in. I hear him moving towards me. He removes the cuff from the bed and attaches it to my ankle. He flips me over and repeats the motion. Im now on my back legs spread and arms out. My left arm is sore but that's probably because it's still weak. I grimace with the throb that is coming from it. Christian notices and raises his eyebrows questioningly

"My arm is throbbing being up like this." I explain. He immediately releases it from the cuff and lays it above my head my ankle is still cuffed and he hooks the other end round the bed, he does the same with my right arm and leg. He places my right hand in my left above my head

"Don't move your arms Ana" He says in an authoritative tone

"Yes sir" I reply sarcastically. I hear the noise before I feel the blow. He has used that mop whip on me! It doesn't hurt, its weird, it sounds like it should but it doesn't?! I moan my body is responding in ways I don't expect. My nerves are jangling and my arousal levels are building.

"Open your eyes Ana, I want you to see whats happening" I didn't even realise I'd closed them! He is standing over me at the foot of the bed, the whip in one hand and an egg like thing in the other. He strokes me with the egg and I realise it's vibrating! He rolls it down from my throat to my clitoris in one long slow movement. the minute it hits its destination, I can feel myself beginning to orgasm.

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh, Christiaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn!" I moan I hope quietly, but probably not! My body convulses as he moves the egg round and puts it just inside me. He kneels down and licks my quivering clitoris until I have the most intense orgasm ever! I can feel every muscle tightening and releasing expelling wave upon wave of pleasure! It comes to an abrupt end when I hear Christian

"FUCK!"

"Huh? What?" I say in my drowsy confused post climaxed state. I look up and see him holding his eye.

"The fucking egg Ana! You bloody shot it at me!"

"What?"

"When you came Ana, I was licking you. I moved back to breathe and the egg came firing out of your vagina straight into my fucking eye!" I can't help but giggle! He looks at me and slowly I see the corners of his mouth turn up and soon he's laughing too. He removes the cuffs and I sit up. I stroke his face.

"Does it hurt?" I ask seeing that its starting to bruise. "Its bruising let me go and get you some ice."

"No, it doesn't matter. Id much rather find out how your feeling about the restraints."

"It was different but good. You seem to know a lot about this kind of stuff. Did you play with anyone else?"

"Ana, erm, Maria was into this kinda kinky sex and I found it pleasurable I learned a lot! Before her I didn't have a girlfriend." He clams up, I get the feeling he's not telling me the whole truth.

"You were a virgin until Maria?"

"Erm...no"

"Christian?"

"I was into sexual domination Ana. Being both the dominant and submissive I can do it all." Okay I wasnt expecting that!

"Dominant and submissive, as in gags and restraints and all that kinda thing?" Iask in slight disbelief.

"Sometimes, it depends on the situation and what scene we are doing. I would never force you into anything you didn't want to do."

"I want you now Christian. I don't want to talk anymore I want you to show me I trust you." I tell him honestly.

"Good Ana because this wont work if you don't" I stare into his eyes I can see the love in them so I can try this.

"I want to try" I insist.

"I'm going to blindfold you this time, and how do you feel about gagging?" I'll bloody choke!

"Gagging? Will I not choke?" I ask hearing the concern in my own voice.

"No baby its safe. You just bite on the ball" He assures me.

"How will I say haggis?" I panic

"I'll make it loose this time and you should be able to say haggis we will try it"

He gets the gag and places it in my mouth. This feels so wrong but right I can't explain it! He straps it to my head securely and I find I can still yell out haggis if i really need to. He then cuffs my wrists in soft cuffs that seem to be attached to the bed under the mattress, then he does the same to my ankles. I am completely at his mercy. He moves to the drawers and comes back with a blindfold he slips it over my eyes and my sense heighten. I know he is not on the bed but I cant seem to hear where he is, suddenly the music gets louder and a thumping beat begins it pulsates through me, I recognise it as something ive heard, but I don't know what it is. I feel his hands on my breasts moulding and squeezing them before I feel his lips on one nipple sucking and pulling and biting slightly, I feel a sudden sting but I barely flinch as he has moved onto the other nipple sucking and pulling it too then the sting again. I try to moan but the gag is in the way. My body is rippling under me. My hips are undulating to the rhythm of the music. His mouth moves down my body and I can feel him heading towards my clitoris, He stops before he reaches it and instead I feel him putting something in me. He slides it in and out then it begins pulsating inside me, touching what I assume to be the g spot because, damn that feels fucking fantastic! I scream as loud as I can because this is to good, I want to push my legs together to help decrease the sensation but I just have to go with it.

"Absorb the pleasure baby, don't fight it" He whispers in my ear.

I groan again. I cant bare this I think he's trying to kill me! I feel his mouth on me too licking and sucking while he slides, what i presume to be, the vibrator in and out. It's all too much and I can feel myself coming loud and fast, the feeling is amazing this tops earlier on, the waves just keep on coming. I feel a sharp tug on each nipple and if anything rather than annoy me it prolongs my ecstasy! I feel him gently remove the vibrator and stop licking as I float away on my high. Next thing I know the cuffs are off the blindfold is gone and my man is pulling me to the end of the bed. He flips me onto my stomach and puts my arse on the air. He holds my thighs and whispers,

"Id grab onto something this is gonna be hard and fast Ana!"

I grab the edge of the bed as he slams into me, oh fuck I love this! He keeps time with the music and thrusts hard. I feel myself being jilted forwards every time.

"HOLD the fuck on ANA!" He shouts so I push my arse back and jam my knees into the bed and steady myself with my hands for his continuing assault. I feel my insides quivering again, ready to explode at any moment.

"Go for it Ana come for me" I cant brace myself anymore as I come loudly again, Im vaguely aware of him orgasming too. I feel the buckles of the gag being undone and the music is changed back to the sweet melody that was playing when we first came in. I feel so tired after all that!

I feel him scoop me up. I open my eyes.

"Christian you have guests remember?"

"Fuck!" He places me back on the bed and goes to the drawers and pulls out a couple of sheets. He wraps one round himself and the other round me before scooping me up again and carrying me from the room, only pausing to lock the door. We head down the stairs only to be confronted by Kate and Elliot shagging on the breakfast bar.

"Shit, Elliot!" Kate says slapping her boyfriend on the back. Elliot looks up and smiles.

"Hey bro! Hey Ana!" He acts like there is nothing going on, I see Kate is handcuffed behind her back so can't cover herself and Elliot's penis is still happily nestled inside her the pair of them are stark bollock naked too. Christian practically runs past them and shouts back over his shoulder

"Dont fucking break anything Elliot, or you'll be replacing it! Night Kate"

"Fuck off Christian!"

"Night guys see you in the morning..." Kate shouts back, she obviously believes we are out of earshot when she adds "oh fuck me Elliot ive been bad!" We look at each other and giggle.

Christian tells me to shower but im just too tired so I climb into bed and drift off excited to see what tomorrow brings.

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**I hope you liked it! The chapters may be a bit sporadic as I have two poorly daughters this week and its nearly christmas so lots of nights out! :)**

**Oh and the song was Call on Me by Eric Prydz, don't ask me why I went on youtube and it jumped out at me!**

**Leave me a review thanks**

**CarrieJ x**


	21. Playtime!

**A/N All character names belong To E.L James the story is mine! **

**Sorry it's taking me so long to post, I did finish the chapter last night but I had to take my wee one to the hospital as she had a really high fever so I havent slept much! I apologise now if it doesn't make sense in places, I have been up during the night with both my girls! Just in case I don't post before Christmas I hope you all have a great one and A Fabby New Year! **

**Enjoy...**

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I awaken excited and sad about today. One day of MAJOR kinky sex in that AMAZING playroom left then the plane home tonight. Christian is still asleep beside me. I lie watching him for a few minutes until I really need to get up and pee! I ease out the bed and head into the loo. Oh god my entire body is stiff as a board! I decide a shower might help. I turn it on and grab a towel from the pile in the corner, I put it on the towel heater and get under the shower. I stand and let the water cascade down my body easing my sore aching muscles, I can feel my hair sticking to my head. I know I should wash but I just stand letting the pounding water do its job. I feel his hands on my body soaping me up and massaging me too, he washes my hair as well. It feels good to stand and let him look after me. He lifts me out of the water and places me down. He wraps me in the towel and turns back to put the water off. He stands in front of me and I notice his eye for the first time, its gone purple and black and looks swollen. I put my hand up and stroke his cheek, he looks into my eyes and grins at me.

"How do you feel this morning Ana?"

"I'm okay..."

"You're not sore at all?"

"Maybe a wee bit, my muscles hurt before I got in the shower but they feel better now."

"How about elsewhere?" Is he asking if my vagina hurts?

"Em, maybe a bit sore, I was well used yesterday!" He nods.

"I can get you something if you're in pain"

"Nah, I'll be fine, maybe we will need to take it easier today" I say sadly. He notices my tone.

"Do you not want it gentle? Do you like it rough Miss Steele?" Oh god he's playing already... well I can do that too!

"I think you've already guessed Mr Grey, Sir" I flutter my eyelashes at him and hear his sharp intake of breath when he hears me call him sir!

"We will need to find other ways to play then Miss Steele..." and with that he leaves me alone and very horny!

I quickly dry myself and move into the bedroom to get some clothes. I look on the bed and see Christian has laid out new clothes for me, starting with a beautiful lace and satin baby blue corset, I hook the front closed and wow I have an instant hourglass figure, I turn around looking at myself in the mirror. There is a tiny thong to match so I slip it on too, the last thing on the pile is a pale blue satin skirt with an overlay of lace. It matches the corset perfectly, I'm not exactly comfortable wearing underwear as a top but I have no choice. My stuff is all gone. Someone must have packed it... I take one last look in the mirror and wow, I look hot even if I do say so myself. I walk out into the big room, and head for the kitchen area. Christian is at the breakfast bar with Elliot and Kate. I can't even look at those two today, I'm mortified on their behalf but here they are acting like nothing happened last night!

"WOW! You are looking hot Ana!"

"Eyes off my girl Elliot! Ana you look stunning! Here you missed the back." He jumps up and begins pulling at something on my back. I feel the corset getting tighter with every little tug, my waist getting pulled in and my bust pushed up.

"Okay can you stop now! I do want to breathe!" I say. Kate is staring at me wide-eyed.

"Well whodathunkit? Ana Steele sex siren! You look like you've just stepped out of a magazine babe!" She's floundering for words, I've never seen Kate flummoxed before it's hilarious!

"Hey Ana, what happened to his eye did you punch him?" I look at Christian and we both try not to laugh but its useless, we both end up in hysterics! Kate and Elliot look at each other puzzled it makes us laugh harder,

"I think they are both mad!" Elliot says

"Horny bastards and mad as fuck!" Kate announces before grabbing Elliot's hand and leading him away.

"Takes one to know one Kate!" I giggle back as Christian grabs my hand and leads me up the stairs again to his 'playroom' I feel like a naughty child, but oh god my insides are quivering at the thought of going in there. He opens the door and I step in, the rainbow lights are on but they are settled so it looks like the walls are on fire with hints of red,orange and yellow It's breathtaking.

"Do you want to try something new?" he asks innocently already knowing what my answer will be.

"Yeah" I try to sound casual but im all breathy and hot.

"Come over here and I'll explain what this is and what you are to do. Ok?"

"Couldnt you show me..." I bat my eyelashes knowing it makes him like putty in my hands.

"I suppose..." He pulls me over to the corner of the room and I notice that the curtain is gone! There are things everywhere I look, how did I not notice all this when I walked in? Oh yeah I was admiring the walls! In the corner where we are there are ropes hanging from the ceiling, there is a harness on the floor and some cuffs too. Christian bends down and puts himself into the harness pulling all the straps tight then he puts the cuffs on his ankles and pulls the buckles tight he hands me the other two.

"What do I do?"

"You put them on my wrists, and do the buckles as tight as you can." On each cuff is a large metal ring. I'm kinda worried as he looks like he's wearing bloody lederhosen! I can't help laughing.

"You look ridiculous right now Mr Grey!"

"You would look sexy as hell like this I can tell you!"

"What is this for?"

"Suspension Ana, I got the harness from a climbing store to make you feel more secure but Id rather tie you myself with ropes" OH! He wants to tie me up? Then hang me from the ceiling? Holy shit, this is really turning me on! I grab his wrists and unbuckle him I bend down and do the same to his ankles and pull them on myself then I pull off my skirt and my panties

"Tie me up then Mr Grey, I'm sure it'll work better this way round!" He produces a rope and ties me till I'm bound up like a christmas present! Then he blindfolds me, I can't see what he's doing but I can feel it, He has started some music again, I don't know this one I'll have to ask him what it is.

"Shit!" I shout as I feel my body leaving the floor, my ankles and right wrist gathered together with my weedy left arm hanging at my side.

"You okay Ana, you remember the safe word if this gets too much don't you?"

"Yes"

"What is your word?"

"Haggis"

"Good, now I'm going to take the blindfold off but you're not to panic, I've got you and you're safe okay?" I nod and he slides it off of my eyes. I look straight at him, he has found the time to remove every article of clothing he was wearing, I try not to see how high im off the ground but I can't help but look down, FUCK! This feels very weird! I take a deep breath and summon all my courage, I hate heights but I will not safe word yet!

"So Mr Grey" I purr as seductively as I can "What are you going to do to me now?" He stares at me before he caresses my legs from toes up to my clit. Fuck I'm so turned on!

"Oh Ana, someone is enjoying herself" He says dipping a finger into me. I try to move against it but he holds me with his other hand. "Mmmm, you taste good baby" He sucks on his finger before dipping it in again then thrusting it into my mouth. I suck on it, because I don't have a choice. I meet his gaze and suck harder as I can see the effect im having on him. I throw my head back and relax into position. I notice that the cuffs attach onto a bar above me. he sees where I am looking and pulls my feet apart. I hear the metal click and my feet stay locked apart. My insides have melted away due to the fire of passion that is flowing through my veins, right now this man could ask for anything and I'd do it!

"So Miss Steele, how ar you enjoying this?"

"Mmmmmm, do whatever you fucking want to me, I'm yours right now."

"Anything? Ana you should be careful what you say!" He sounds different, more assertive, more dominant, OH MY GOD I'm a submissive...

"I'm a submissive amn't I?

"You do seem to want to be, but baby you will be dominant too, I like to have my turn you know!"

"I don't want to talk right now I want sex Christian, fuck me now!"

"Oh no Miss Steele, you are the submissive right now, I'm your dom, I make the decisions!" Oh god I'm ready to combust now! I feel the whip flick across my backside, it nips but it's not sore, he flicks over both cheeks until I can't take anymore.

"Stop Christian please, no more whipping, PLEASE" I beg. He dips his fingers in me again and massages my clitoris, I can feel myself building the lashes continue a bit more gently now. He can tell I'm about to come so he keeps me going, the sensation is mind-blowing, I'm floating literally and metaphorically its amazing, he smiles at me and in what I can only guess is an attempt to prolong my ecstasy he cracks the whip over my upper thighs, hard. It's my worst nightmare I feel like I'm either gonna wet myself or be sick, neither of which I want to do hanging from the playroom ceiling!

"HAGGIS" He drops the whip instantly.

"God Ana what did I do?"

"Could you get me down please NOW!" I ask. He quickly helps me down but leaves me bound by the rope.

"Did I hurt you Ana?" He asks his voice full of concern.

"No" I answer truthfully "I kinda freaked and nearly peed or puked on you, remember the incident with my headmaster?"

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry Ana"

"Yeah, whatever I need to pee or boak, please tell me there is a loo in here because I can't wait for you to untie me!"

"Fuck, no there's not!"

"Take me to the loo now I'm not bloody wetting myself in here!"Thank god I don't feel sick now I just have a pressing urge from my bladder! He picks me up and runs a couple of doors along the hall, he opens the door and Helps me to the loo. I don't care that he's still in the room I pee and breathe a huge sigh of relief! I clean myself up and he carries me back down the hall. I hear a noise coming towards us, it's the unmistakable sound of Kate and Elliot shagging their way up the stairs. Riccocheting from side to side, I'm so glad Taylor has taken Mrs Jones out for the day! They are in front of us before we can move.

"Bondage? I didn't know you had it in ya lil bro!"

"Unfortunately we all know you do!" He replies icily.

"Nice ropes Ana!" I turn beetroot.

"Nice tits Kate!" I don't understand why these two bother dressing at all. Happily for me she has the decency to blush and tries to cover her breasts but hey it must be difficult when your hands are shackled to your ankles! My best mate she's a really classy chick! Elliot picks her up and strides past to their room. Christian drags me back into the playroom but I think the moment is gone for now. He unbinds me and I put those silly pants back on and the skirt. We leave the room and he locks it behind us, god help us if Kate and Elliot ever find that room!

"Get your coat, I'm taking you out"

"Yes sir." I whisper into his ear as I pass him. I grab the only coat that s been left for me it's a bright pink swing coat, that I got one day when CHristian was in hospital on a rare day out with Kate.

I return to the big room wearing my coat, and I've got my bag too.

"Ready?" He asks.

"As I'll ever be!" I reply

"Come on there are places I want to show you." He pulls me into the lift, I feel the sexual tension crackle around us. I pull him down to me and kiss him deeply he returns the kiss with as much passion as I am giving him. We break apart just as the doors open, I lean into him and whisper

"I hope you're taking me somewhere good because I've forgotten my knickers" His jaw drops and his breathing quickens.

"Oh god Ana, the things you do to me!" He pulls me to a little black sports car, its a Bugatti Veyron holy sit those things cost over a million pounds and god only knows how much that is in dollars! They really weren't kidding when they said he was minted! My dad would love this car, we sit and watch Top Gear every sunday together when I'm at home!

"My dad would love this car!"

"I love it too, she's my baby" I pout at him

"I thought I was your baby?"

"You are she's my other baby!"

"She? Should I worry about competition?" he laughs at me. We are speeding round Seattle, I would so get lost around here, my sense of direction leaves a lot to be desired! We pull into an underground car park, hang on I've been here before...

"Grey House Miss Steele, the heart of my empire." He takes me to a lift and punches in a code, we speed up. The doors open into a white marble space, why would he bring me to his office he knows I don't like them?!

"Is this your office?" I ask nervously

"Yeah, Mia is out and I wanted to show you it." I gulp.

"Okay..." He pushes open the door and its a huge room with a large glass wall overlooking the whole city! The view is stunning, almost as good as Escala! I take a hesitant step into the room, it doesn't really look like an office more like a lounge with a computer in it!

"So? What do you think?"

"The view is stunning Christian, and this place doesn't even feel like an office!" I smile at him, he beams back, why do I get the feeling that it didn't always look like this, and that he's had it done for me. God I'm being paranoid now! He couldn't have done that Mia is running his company at the moment, until the doctors say he can go back to work, although I think they are talking in days now rather than weeks.

"What are you thinking?

"You'll be coming back to work soon..."

"Yeah I can go back when I want, I've got the all clear!"

"I've got three months of Uni left..." He gets where I'm going

"Ana don't worry. Mia is holding the fort until I get back with you after the hearing in Glasgow."

"What?"

"I'm not coming back until the Hyde business is finished, don't worry baby!"

"I like how you assume I'll be living here! I'm going home Christian! America is a lovely place to visit and don't get me wrong your family is wonderful, but I need to be near MY parents. I miss my Mum and phone calls aren't cutting it anymore, I want to hug her,and my Dad. I miss my hometown too. I like being the princess in my castle! And most importantly I need to finish my degree!"

"I thought you liked it here? I assumed you were happy?"

"I do and I am, I just want to go home. I'm sure you know the feeling"

"Yeah"

The rest of the day flies by we have a chilly picnic in Golden Gardens then we walk around the city with Christian being tour guide, telling me little stories from his youth. We had a lovely dinner in Escala with Kate and Elliot and Taylor and Mrs Jones, who are a couple too! Then we headed off for the airport, that's when I got the biggest surprise. Carrick, Grace and Mia are coming too! I do wonder who is running the company but I'm assured Ros? and Andrea? have it in hand! Mia is only staying a week, they have rented a house in my village to see what rural life is like, I can't see Mia liking it but hey ho!

We pull up at the airport but instead of going into the terminal we are on the tarmac, I get out and see a plane sitting with Grey Enterprises Holdings Ltd emblazoned across it. Holy hell Kate and I look at each other wide-eyed. He has his own bloody plane!

"Nice plane!" He grins at me. He helps me up the steps. There is a large seating area with big comfy chairs. He pulls me along a corridor and there are lots of doors, at the end of the hall he opens the door and its a huge bedroom! I look up at him amazed

"You have a bedroom on your plane?"

"Yeah, I travel a lot for business Ana so I do need to sleep, but as your here..."

"We can't your parents will hear us!"

"It's sound proof Ana!" My jaw drops, he has more money than sense!

"Your libido knows no bounds!" He grins

"Nope not when your concerned!" He says "I've always wanted to join the mile high club" He whispers in my ear as we move out of the room. He opens all the other doors and there are two more small bedrooms an office and a few toilets. We make our way back to the others and sit down. We all strap in ready for take off. Mia fortunately is at the opposite side of the plane from me and we are both in window seats. Christian is beside me holding my hand, this is very different to last time I was on a plane! Elliot and Kate are next to us, then Sawyer sits beside Mia. In the row behind us are Carrick and Grace, Taylor and Gail, as she's asked me to call her although I do keep accidentally still calling her Mrs Jones!

The flight attendant gives us the safety demonstration, and we begin to move along the tarmac. We are quickly in the air and the flight attendant gives us the nod to get up and move. I feel the need to pee. I unclip and jump out my seat, Christian is right behind me

"Where are you going?"

"To the loo! I need a pee!" He grabs my hand and leads me up to his bedroom

"There is a toilet in here" I raise my eyebrows quizzically at him. So he opens a door and there is a small loo. I shuffle in and close the door. When I'm done I open the door to find him laying completely naked on the bed. I can see the desire burning in his eyes, and feel my own building...

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**Let me know what you think! Thanks for all your reviews for last chapter they keep me going! I hope you don't mind the comedy, it's just the way I am! Please Leave a review I really appreciate them**

**CarrieJ x**


	22. The Return To The Homeland

**A/N: Character named belong to E.L. James the story is mine!**

**I hope you all had a fabby Christmas! I hope you all have a brilliant hogmanay too! please excuse any errors I typed this chapter on my kindle so there may be more than usual! Love all my fabby reviewers and just to clarify Ana was still wearing her corsets when she was suspended so Elliot never saw her naked. I think Christian would have freaked if that'd happened! lol anyway as per usual**

** Enjoy...**

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The flight was long and boy oh boy did Christian make it interesting! I wake up as he nudges me  
"Ana, wake up baby. We need to be seated at the front for the landing."  
"Okay. I'm just getting up" I lay back down closing my eyes. Christian lifts me from the bed and carries me to my seat. I rouse more halfway along the corridor. He plops me into my seat. I take a look around and see Mia glowering at me. I wish I knew what her problem was! No one else is here I presume we weren't the only ones making use of the rooms! Taylor slips into his seat from the front of the plane and a very disheveled Gail appears from the toilets. It looks like she's not slept a wink. The captain makes another announcement that we will be landing soon. We are joined by a groggy Grace and Carrick. There is no sign of Kate and Elliot.  
"I'll go get them " Mia offers.  
"No. I'll go." Uh oh he sounds mad! He rises gracefully from his seat and makes his way to their room. He bangs loudly on the door before throwing it open.  
"Elliot put your fucking girlfriend down and sit in your seat we can't land until you do you asshole!"  
"Fuck off Christian!"  
"Elliot Grey, get your backside out here and on this seat or so help me I'll come up there and drag you out. Christian don't swear at your brother!"  
"Yes mom" they both answer in that well rehearsed manner.  
Elliot is the first to come and sit down he sits glowering at Christian. Kate follows a couple of minutes later  
"You pair disgust me your worse than rabbits!" Mia mutters under her breath. I really don't get her issue but it seems both Kate and I will be feeling her wrath for as long as we are dating the Grey brothers! I look at Kate, she actually seems embarrassed for a change! I can't believe the way Mia is being towards her I mean I thought they were friends? Now she's being as bitchy to her as she is to me! I hope for Kate's sake it's just because she's tired!  
I'm pulled away from my thoughts by the stewardess instructing us to put on out belts for landing. I do as I'm told and wait. Ten minutes later we are safely on the tarmac at Glasgow airport. I breathe a giant sigh of relief I'm home!  
It's lunch time here but my poor body thinks it's the middle of the bloody night! I hate jet lag and so, it would appear, does everyone else on board the GEH plane!  
We all pile through the airport with Taylor having organised the luggage and a vehicle. Two large people carriers wait at the exit for us. Kate, Elliot Christian and I in one and everyone else in the other. I doze in the car as does Kate we are woken when we reach our village. We go and drop off Kate and Elliot first at the Kavanaugh family home. Ethan bursts out the door and hugs the life out of Kate. I wonder if he has a girlfriend yet? Maybe he could cheer up miss Mia misery guts Grey! I'll ask Christian later! We head back to my mum and dads I can't wait to give mum a hug! I'm rewarded almost instantly as my mum comes running out the front door and envelops me in a hug.  
"Mum I've missed you so much!" I cry loudly at her  
"I missed you too sweetie!" She sobs back  
We move into the house holding hands.  
"How are you feeling now Christian? Are you better since your wee op?"  
"Mum he had brain surgery not his tonsils out!"  
"I'm doing great thanks to your wonderful daughter Carla" he sweeps me into a romantically breath taking kiss. Mum gasps.  
"I see you two are getting serious then? So when are you getting married then?"  
"We aren't mum it's a bit soon for that type of conversation yet!"  
"We are moving in together Carla. I've got us a beautiful house it needs some work but Elliot and his eco building team are fixing it up, it's my Christmas present to Ana" I can feel my eyebrows shooting up. Moving in? I'm not ready for that am I?  
"How romantic!" Mum grins at me. I'm still in shock! "So I guess you'll be here for Christmas then?"  
"I haven't thought about it much I mean it is a couple of months away mum!"  
"Well wherever you are your dad and I will be there too. I couldn't bare you to be away for that long again!"  
"Sorry mum but you know..." I smile lovingly up at my gorgeous boyfriend and he grins back at me  
"I'm the one that owes your mom an apology not you Ana, I insisted she had to stay Carla."  
"I wouldn't have ever left you" I stare into his eyes the desire radiating out of me.  
"Ahem" my mother clears her throat and our spell is broken. "Are you staying here tonight?"  
"No, I've to invite you to my mom and dads for dinner they really want to meet you and Ray."  
"I heard they are staying in the village! We would love to come, do we need to dress up?"  
"Its not a formal dinner more a getting to know you. I believe Kate's parents will be there too."  
"Barbara and Gerry Kavanaugh? We had dinner together last week!"  
"So we will see you tonight? About 7?"  
"Yes it sounds like fun"  
"Ana I'm going back to help mom and dad settle in are you coming or staying here?"  
"I'm gonna stay with my mum just now, I'll see you as dinner tonight though. I love you." I lean forward and kiss him, not caring that my mum is not that far from me and able to see everything! He returns the kiss and deepens it, I could just loose myself in this moment but fortunately he manages to pull away leaving me breathless.  
"I love you too baby, I'll see you tonight" he gives me a quick kiss and leaves. My heart feels heavy without him here, but I really need time with my mum. We sit and talk for ages catching up on all the gossip with each other. Nothing quite beats a chat and a cuppa with my mum to set the world to rights. I'm knackered and my lovely mum makes up the bed for me to get an hour's rest before dinner. She wakens me at six o'clock looking glam  
"Have you had your hair done mum?"  
"Yes Monica is in the kitchen waiting to do your hair too, go and have a quick shower. She's waiting!"  
"Yes mum" I really wanted to come home but right now I'd give anything to be back in Seattle! As much as I love my mum her friend Monica insists on making me look like a flipping poodle anytime she gets near my head! I'm not in the mood to argue with her so I get in the shower and take my time, the less time I have with Monica the better!  
I towel dry my hair and the rest of my body. I run along the hall to my room. I take my time dressing. When I leave my bedroom Monica is packing up her stuff.  
"Ana, darling!" She gushes at me "I don't have time to do your usual" I breathe a sigh of relief and hope she doesn't notice it "I could give you a quick blow dry and maybe straighten it for a change?"  
"Um okay."  
"If your willing to be a little late I could tong it..." HELL NO!  
"No straight sounds good Monica" I smile at her. She seems happy to get to work and blasts my head with a dryer. Once it's almost dry she starts straightening it.  
"So I hear you've got a man now Annie?" Annie? I really hate being called that!  
"Yeah" I try not to be rude but I know if she finds out anything it'll be all over the village before we've got to the Grey's for dinner""!  
"So...? What's he like then? Where's he from? I hear he's handsome!" Oh joy mums been blabbing! Before I can answer my dad comes into the room.  
"Ana! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!"  
"Daddy!" I jump out the chair and hug him."I missed you!"  
"Okay okay put me down sweetheart! You were away for a month not a year!" Monica's jaw hangs open. Fuck I forgot she was here!  
"Annie come back and sit down I've only got one last section to do, then you can get dressed" I want to hit her but I keep the mantra in my head 'it's mums friend and she has to live here' on repeat. Fortunately she's finished quickly and leaves!  
"Mum I don't want Monica doing my hair ever again! I really hate her and she insists on calling me Annie!" I whine  
"Anastasia Steele behave yourself! Monica has done your hair since you were tiny, and you always look beautiful when she's done! Have you looked in the mirror because she has excelled herself tonight! Now go and get changed into what I've laid out for you before you make us late" I hang my head knowing that the battle is lost before it has even begun.  
"Yes mum" I rush into the room and put on the hideous outfit my mother has deemed suitable. I stand and look in the full length mirror, I'm stunned my hair does look good and the outfit looks much better on. It's a strapless cerise dress with black sparkly slashes on it with a fluffy black sparkly cardigan.  
"Come on Ana we're going to be late!"  
"Coming"  
I walk towards my parents balancing on my Monolos that Christian got me.  
"Hey Taylor, I should have guessed Christian would have sent you"  
"He didn't ma'am" I see him appear from behind Taylor looking handsome in his crisp white shirt, gray trousers and a patterned silver tie.  
"I came to escort you and wow it looks like it was worth the trip!" He grins at me. I giggle and grin back  
"Enough flirting you two! We have a dinner to get to!" Mum charges past us and into the car, Taylor opens the door for her. Dad slides in beside her with Christian and I lagging behind. It's a quick drive to the Grey's house they are in a large Victorian house that is a mansion by new houses standards! I know this place was a bed and breakfast and is utterly huge! Grace opens the door to us and hugs me tight before treating mum and dad to the same thing! Carrick is loitering behind her with a warm handshake for us all. Mum looks around astounded by the huge house, dad asks Carrick if he likes football. I'm pleased that they like each other at least! We are led through to the dining room where Kate, Elliot, Barbara, Gerry and Mia are waiting. I'm not surprised to see Ethan too  
"Hey everyone! Nice to see you again Ethan, Mr and Mrs Kavanaugh"  
"Lovely to see you too Ana, I was just saying to your mum last week that we have barely seen you or Kate for months!" Barbara says in her soft Irish lilt. I could listen to her forever! Kate does a brilliant impression, but Ethan used to get teased for his accent in school school as he has a slightly Irish twang.  
Grace, mum and Barbara lead the conversation at the table. Mia sits glowering at me. I'm going to have serious words with her later!  
Dinner was amazing Mrs Jones cooked up a storm, a lovely butternut squash soup follows by venison with potatoes gratin and a red wine jus. The pudding was the best Apple pie I've ever eaten with homemade custard! I'm completely stuffed, like a turkey at Christmas! Carrick leads us through to the living room where we all sit. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I hope Christian follows!  
As I finish up washing my hands there is a knock on the door. Christian grins at me. I pull him in and lock the door.  
"Oh baby, I want you here and now!"  
"You are a horny little girl aren't you?"  
"Yes...Sir..." his eyes flash with fire and he quickly sits on the chair that is weirdly in the corner, I wonder if he had this planned?  
He grabs me and slips my dress up and my pants down. His fingers caress from my knees up my thighs to my clitoris. His hand sweeps round and he inserts his fingers into me. I toss my head back and groan loudly.  
"Quiet baby! Your so wet baby, all for me!" He pulls his fingers out and sucks them. "Mmmm you taste good baby! Your a naughty girl though I think you need a good spanking! I think 5 should do" I quiver where I stand. He bends me over his knee and orders me to count. I willingly oblige. I feel the first blow and the desire in me grows by the time he gets to number five I'm ready to combust on his knee! He pulls me up onto my feet I pull his trousers open and his boxers down. I drop to my knees and grab his throbbing penis and suck on it hard bringing him to the point of orgasm before stopping and pushing him onto the chair. I straddle him lining up then thrusting him deep into me. He grabs my wrists and ties them together with his tie.  
"Hold on tight baby"  
He gently stands up pushing me against the wall. I wrap my legs around his waist as he pins my restrained wrists above my head.  
"Fuck! Christian I'm coming!" I try not to scream. I bite down hard on my lower lip. I feel my body tightening as I convulse around him. His breathing roughens and I can feel him come too, moaning my name in my ear. I'm still floating on the feeling of ecstasy when I'm interrupted.  
"I'd love to bite that lip, if there is any of it left by the time you come down" he murmurs sensuously to me. I immediately let go and look up at him. He gazes back down at me.  
"I know this isn't the right time or place but it's the right moment. Anastasia will you marry me?"  
"What?"  
"Will you marry me?"  
"If you want an answer to that you need to make sure the time place and moment are all right! I don't want to tell my mother that we had great sex in the loo the you proposed! The TOILET? SERIOUSLY? Do you not do romance Mr Grey?"  
"Sorry, next time it will be perfect. I was lost in the moment, I would hate to explain the toilet engagement to Carla!" He physically shudders at the thought. He removes his tie from my wrists and reties it round his neck. I find my knickers and put them back on, I smooth down my dress and flatten my hair. He unlocks the door and checks  
"The coast is clear" we both creep out the loo and walk back into the lounge just in time to see Elliot drop to one knee.  
"Katherine Kavanaugh would you do me the honour of marrying me?" The whole room collectively holds its breath waiting for Kate's reply.  
"Yes, course I will!" They launch into a passionate embrace that is a bit too much for her patents liking. Barbara drags them apart to hug her daughter and shake Elliott's hand, Gerry, Grace, Carrick, Christian and I all do the same. Ethan slaps Elliot on the back and issues a friendly warning about hurting his sister. Mia leaves the room. I have had just about enough of her and her antics! I discreetly leave the room and go looking for her. I find her in the kitchen  
"What the hell is your fucking problem Mia? You can't even congratulate your brother on getting engaged? Here I was thinking it was just me you hated but lo and behold its everyone"  
"You wanna know what my problem is? Really? It's little stupid poor girls that my brothers pity date! "  
"Fuck off Mia! Money is not the be all and end all! You are just a bitch that can't bare to see anyone else happy while your not"  
"Yeah dumb little Ana has cured me, you'll never be good enough for Christian and I'm gonna make sure your out of here before the week is up!"  
"Oh I'm so scared! Your forgetting something though Mia you are on my turf now not in some ivory tower of yours. So quite frankly I don't care what your fucking issue is but back the fuck off and leave me and Christian alone! I'm done with you and your hissy fits your a grown woman if you could start acting like one I'd appreciate it!" I spit in her face, her petulant behaviour has gone too far this time and the brat needs a bloody good slap!  
I feel her grab me and pull me close, I try to fight her but she's stronger than I ever gave her credit for.  
"I love you Ana" she murmurs before smashing her lips into mine. She pulls me as close as she can. I fight her but she's strong for such a little thing! Finally I manage to shove her off.  
"Something you two want to tell me about?" His voice booms from behind me. FUCK!

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**Hope it was worth the wait! Please leave a review I like to hear what you think and I do try to incorporate some ideas, the kiss at the end is all my friend Kerry's fault, well her and a couple of others...**

**thanks for reading**

** CarrieJ**


	23. What Now?

**A/N All character names belong to E. L. James the story is mine!**

**Sorry for the delay and how short it is but I'm working with a migraine. I hope you all like it. please follow me on Twitter at carriej56 fanfic or on Facebook at Carriej fanfic. There is also a fab group on Facebook FSOG Fanfic. **

**Enjoy**

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"Mia? Do you want to explain why you are trying to break us up?" I yell at her.  
"I love Ana" she replies simply, staring Christian in the eye. I look up at him and can see his face contort with rage.  
"Ana, are you in love with her? Is that why you said no to me?" He questions, I stare into his eyes and can see the glimmer of doubt.  
"Give me some bloody credit! She hates me! She has some plan to break us up we were fighting before you came in" I can feel tears pricking at my eyes caused by my anger. He wraps his arms around me  
"Sorry baby. I had to be sure." He reassures me. "I'll deal with you later Mia! We need to go and congratulate the happy couple right now." He takes my hand and leads me away, Mia mutters something under her breath that I can't hear but it's enough to make him stop dead in his tracks turn and look at her "if you ever say anything like that again I will not be held responsible for my actions." He growls. Before tugging me back into the living room.  
The rest of the evening flies past in a blur of wedding conversations everything from colour schemes to venues! Elliot asked Christian to be his best man, then Kate asked me and Mia to be bridesmaids. I did inwardly groan at that but smiled and accepted, she's my best mate after all! Mum and dad loved Carrick and Grace and have invited them round to ours in a couple of nights time. I'm staying at my flat with Christian. Taylor brought us through and when we got in we fell into bed, completely exhausted.  
"Morning sleepyhead!" I chirp giving Christian a shove and a cup of coffee  
"Huh" he rises groggily. "What time is it?"  
"Half ten. I let you have a lie in."  
"Shit! I have something to do this morning!" He sounds panicked.  
"Sorry, you looked so peaceful, that and you didn't waken the first twice I tried!" I grin at him. I climb up his body till I'm lying on top of him.  
"Ana, I don't have time for that this morning..."  
"Are you not up for it?" I ask innocently while I reach down and feel him, his head flops back on the pillow and he groans. "Oh I can feel that you are!"  
"Always for you baby!"  
"Today I think I prefer ma'am! Lift your arms above your head." His eyes flame with passion. He holds them while I pull his silver tie from my waist and secure his hands to my headboard.  
I run my nails down his chest and he lets out a low growl. I pull off his boxers and pull his large erection with my hand. I crouch between his parted legs and kiss my way down his body. He lifts his head expecting me to start there but I nibble down his neck, moving to kiss and caress his chest. I gently suck his nipples lightly nibbling them. He throws his head back growls loudly, thrusting his penis between my breasts. I sit up and give him a quick swat across the chest with the crop I had hidden in my back pocket. His eyes jump open in surprise.  
"Did I give you permission to fuck my breasts?"  
"No" I flick him again over his upper thighs  
"No what?"  
"No ma'am"  
"Better! Now you've been a naughty boy and I think you've earned five spanks for being a grumpy git and not appreciating your lie in. Roll over"  
"Yes ma'am" He rolls over. His arse all pert and peachy, I can't help myself I lean forward and bite it. "Fuck Ana!"  
"For that I'll make it ten! I want you to count them for me Christian"  
I gently squeeze his bum before bringing the crop down across his cheeks  
"One" he breathes, I can hear how aroused he is, I thought this was gonna be difficult but I feel connected to my inner strength and the more turned on he gets it has the same effect on me! I repeat the pattern a gentle squeeze and caress followed by a bite of the crop then a gentle kiss. He counts and I can hear him losing control, it's so amazing!  
"Nine" he shudders, before convulsing.  
"Oh baby, you came!"  
"Sorry ma'am I couldn't help it." He whispers.  
"Turn over" he rolls over and the evidence of his orgasm covers him. I bend down and lick him clean.  
"God Ana, your killing me here!" He is erect again almost instantly.  
I clamber up him and untie his hands. He flips me over and rips my blouse open, spraying buttons all over the floor. He pulls it off and throws it across the room. He makes short work of my jeans and knickers too. I'm lying wearing my pink bra with the embroidered hearts on it. He moves his hands up and traces the outline of the hearts.  
"I love this bra, it's so you Ana. But right now I'd rather see it on the floor" he pulls it off with a flourish, tossing it away. His hands move to my nipples pulling and rolling them between his fingers. His mouth moves in next, sucking hard on them biting and nibbling them. I groan at the feelings he is provoking in me. I can feel my hips wriggling beneath him, encouraging him to continue his sensual assault. He gyrates his pelvis against mine pressing me into the bed. His mouth works up my neck with little bubbles. I groan loudly, the little stings from the nurse are almost enough to push me over the edge. He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head while he nips along my jaw before he finally thrusts himself into me, slowly and sensually. He dots little kisses round the edges of my mouth before he takes the plunge and dives in. The kisses are hot and wet and the thrusts come hard and fast, I'm holding on by my fingernails to enjoy being at the height of passion  
"Let go baby" he grasps in a sultry voice. He is my catalyst that tips me over the edge. The waves of continuous passion flow through me and over me. I scream his name over and over with every wave that crashes on my beach of pleasure.I can feel him thrusting faster and harder until he calls my name. He slumps down on top of me each of us moaning our appreciation. I look up into his warm gray eyes, he lazily smiles at me.  
"I'd love to wake up like that everyday!" He wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead, before running his hand down to my naked breasts.  
"I bet you would, you horny bastard!" I grin at him.  
"Takes one to know one baby!" I sit up and whack him with a pillow! I get up and head for the bathroom putting the shower on, my hair is matted with sweat and I feel very dirty! I can hear him sneaking up behind me. He wraps his arms around my waist.  
"Can I help you Mr Grey?" I flutter my eyelashes at him.  
"Well I thought that since I got you dirty I could get you clean too..." He lifted me and walked into our tiny shower cubicle.  
"Great idea in theory Christian but it's a bit small in here for the two of us!"  
"We both fit in the one at escala"  
"Yeah we did but then this is a student flat in the middle of Glasgow not some skyscraper in the US! I need to get clean coz I need to go up and see some of my lecturers at uni today, I mean they have been great allowing me to study online and email in coursework but I need classroom hours too!" He graciously steps out slowing me to wash my hair. I am finished quickly. He gets in and I can't help but stand and stare at his beautiful body through the glass door. I hand him a towel as he steps out and help him to dry himself, but my emotions are still running high so I go back to my bedroom and dry my hair before dressing. He is fully dressed before me and in the kitchen when I walk through.  
"I have some business to take care of to so I'll drop you off at uni if you want?"  
"That would be great Ta! Are you coming back here tonight?"  
"I'm staying in my house tonight, Kate will be here with you though."  
"Uh yeah course she will" I try to hide my disappointment. He puts his hand on my cheek and lifts my head so we are linked eye to eye.  
"I will be working late baby, there's Seattle stuff I need to sort they are eight hours behind so I didn't want to keep you up half the night if you are going to uni."  
"What business stuff? I thought Mia..." He looks at me and I can see the anger at the mention of his sister's name  
"Mia can't be trusted!" He yells. I think more went on last night than I am aware of I did notice that he disappeared a few times but that's Christian he likes peace and quiet.  
"Is this about last night?"  
"Partly." His eyes cloud over and I can tell he's getting angry. I stop pushing, he'll tell me when he's ready. I finish my tea in silence while he Brooks over his new BlackBerry.  
"Ready?"  
"Yeah, I have the TT outside"  
"Ok, you know the way to the campus?"  
"I have you and a sat nav Ana! I'm not fucking stupid" Oh joy stroppy Christian!  
"Never said you were! Just cause your in a shitty mood doesn't mean you need to take it out on me!"  
"Sorry" he mutters.  
Ten minutes later he drops me off outside the main uni building, the drive was awkward silence, I have no idea where he is off to but I'm sure as he'll glad I won't be on the receiving end of that ire!  
After four hours I'm done. I have managed to keep up with my class and am ahead in some areas! I should have enough credits to finish at the end of January if I keep my head down and concentrate! I'm so relieved I feel like I gigantic weight, that I didn't know was there, has been lifted from my shoulders! I pull out my iPhone that Christian gave me and text him to tell him I'm getting the bus home. I'm just putting all my stuff in my bag when my phone rings  
"Taylor will be with you shortly don't move" the line goes dead. He's still pissy oh great! My phone rings again I'm ready for him this time  
"Don't you dare talk to me like that! I'm not a fucking employee!"  
"Hello again Ana, did us miss me?" He sneers  
"Jack..."  
"I missed you Ana. I imagined all the things I was going to do to you next time we meet, and there will be a next time!"  
"I don't fucking think so! How did you get this number?"  
"I have my ways! I tried to call you before but you were to busy whipping your boyfriend, might I say you look lovely today you suit that pink sweater"  
I drop the phone. He can see me! He's following me and can see me! I pick the phone back up and switch it off I shove it in my bag. I run back into the building to the payphone. I drop in some change and dual Christian.  
"Christian? I need you" I hear laughter at the other end then the sneer again  
"Sorry Mr Grey is a bit...tied up right now! Just the way you like him Ana!"  
Oh my God Jack has Christian!

**Ok so not in my original plan I was gonna have the big Mia showdown but this ending sneaking and when it flows like that I just let it! I love your reviews as always! Oh and to make my big sis happy she wants recognition for the egg scene as it came from a chat about sneezing and speculums... lol**

** Leave me a review my lovelies**

** CarrieJ x**


	24. Taken? Part One

**A/N: FSOG trilogy belongs to E. L. James this story belongs to me!**

**So happy New year people! This is part one, I'm wanting to do part two in Christian's POV I would appreciate feedback on this decision as its not written yet. I thought I'd make this a two parter so that you get an update today. x **

**As always **

**Enjoy...**

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I drop the phone back onto the cradle. My hands are shaking. I feel faint but

"Pull yourself together Ana" I mutter to myself. I spoke to Christian? Something isn't right here... Taylor, he's meant to be outside for me. I rush out the door to find him waiting at the kerb.  
"Taylor, where did Christian tell you to take me?"  
"To your parents home ma'am"  
"What we're your orders after that? Did you speak to him? When did you last see him?" The questions flow out my mouth as fast as I think of them.  
"Miss Steele get in the car and I'll answer as I drive" I get in the car realizing that I'm creating a bit of a scene, I spot a couple of photographers across the street. Once I'm safely inside Taylor gets in, I hop from the back seat to the front.  
"Taylor Jack Hyde called me."He audibly gasps  
"When ma'am?"  
"Just after Christian, from Christian's phone." He slams on the breaks. He turns and stares at me.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, I switched off my mobile and called him from a payphone and Hyde answered"  
"Switch your cell on, now Ana, I need to check your calls." He parks the car up a side street and examines my phone  
"Sorry, I dropped it" I explain the scuffles and the crack across the screen.  
"Don't worry about it. I'll call Welch." He produces his own phone and dials a number  
"Taylor?"  
"Yeah. I need a list of all calls made to and from miss Steele's phone since she got it."  
"No problem I'll email you do I cc in Mr Grey?"  
"No, but you can get me the same info for his phone too. I also need the tracker activated on his phone and the coordinates sent to my Sat nav."  
"I hope you know what your doing tracking him Taylor he'll be pissed when he finds out"  
"No he won't" I say quietly  
"Miss Steele?"  
"Yes?"  
"Sorry ma'am, I will send the information as soon as I have it. The coordinates are in the Sat nav now for you"  
"Thank you Mr Welch"  
"Of course ma'am"  
Taylor ends the call, nice habit he has in common with Christian!  
"Is he at home Taylor?"  
"His phone is on the move ma'am but we will head to the house to see if he's there"  
I sit frozen in my seat. We pull up outside a beautiful large house much more befitting of Christian Grey than my wee flat!  
"Wait here ma'am"  
"Will I shite! I'm coming with you, your not leaving me outside by myself!"  
"Mr Grey won't like this"  
"Do I look like I give a fuck? I'm going in the house because that is where he is and if he's not then I'm calling the police!"  
Taylor backs down and opens the front door. The house is badly torn up the paper Haas been ripped off the walls in places, the contents of the drawers are split all over the floor. I look over at Taylor he motions to me to get behind him. I follow him up the grand staircase, he motions me to stand at the side of the door he kicks it open flashing his gun around he motions me into the room, that I can now see is an office. I shudder involuntarily the room is destroyed the ornate mahogany desk is tipped over and all the furniture has been toppled every drawer emptied all over the floor and there are slashes through the paintings. There is a sheet of paper and a Polaroid picture stapled to the back of the door.  
Ana I have Christian all tied up here just for you. I'm coming for you baby x  
The picture is of Christian tied to a bed wearing only his boxers with large red welts across his chest. I recognise the room instantly.  
"Taylor call the police. This picture was taken in my flat in Kate's room."  
"Yes ma'am" He pulls out his phone and makes a few calls. Within half an hour the place is bursting at the seams with police and security never mind the forensic scientists. I huddle on the stairs keeping out of the way. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Kate she wraps me up in her arms while I see Carrick and Elliot talking to a police officer. They motion at me, the officer nods and heads towards me.  
"Miss Steele?"  
"Yeah"  
"I need to know everything that happened today up until you arrived here, we can do this here or at the station it's up to you."  
"I'd rather do it here. Can Carrick, I mean Mr Grey stay with me?"  
"Yes, your not in any trouble. I just need a statement now if we have questions we will contact you"  
I tell him everything from the moment we left my flat earlier today up till now. He just nods and hmmm' s from time to time. Carrick holds my hand giving me reassuring squeezes.  
"Thank you Miss Steele, that's very helpful"  
"Why is Jack Hyde out of jail? I thought he was to stay in custody till the trial then be extradited to the USA?" He looks at me puzzled.  
"Mr Hyde is in custody as far as I'm aware ma'am, I will have that checked for you though." He moves away and talks into his radio. He comes back after a while.  
"So?" I ask impatiently.  
"He made bail two days ago." I look at Carrick he's as shocked as me.  
"Why weren't we informed?"  
"I'm unsure ma'am"  
"Have you checked my flat yet?"  
"The forensics team is there now, is there somewhere else you can stay. As it's a crime scene we will need it for a few days and we will need here longer as this is the site of the abduction" abduction! I burst into tears. I have nowhere to go and my boyfriend has been abducted! Carrick holds me  
"Ana will be staying with us tonight" I sob as my emotions reek havoc on my body.  
"Where is he? Do you have any ideas?"  
"I'm sorry Miss Steele I have no information to share at the moment, I suggest you get some rest tonight and we will be in touch." Fucking police, they are as useful as chocolate teapots! Carrick leads me out the house to the car, Kate and Elliot are waiting in the back. Taylor jumps in and sets off to the Grey's house. The drive is long and almost silent, the only interruption being my sobs on Kate's knee. When we pull up Grace is standing waiting for us.  
"Is there any news?"  
"Not yet Ana." She apologises. I can see her eyes rimmed red where she's been crying. I hug her tight and Carrick gently manoeuvres us into the hallway. When we separate Kate pulls me up the stairs.  
"I'm staying with you tonight." She says in her don't argue with me tone and for a moment I feel sorry for Elliot, I'm pretty sure he can manage her though! I let her lead me into a large bedroom with a king size bed in it. She changes into a pair of jammas and helps me do the same. I feel like the light at the core of me has been put out, and I'm falling into the darkness. I know I have to snap out of this soon or I'll be no help to Christian. I look up at Kate feeling the tears spilling down my face  
"He proposed Kate. The night you and Elliot got engaged. In the toilet, I said it wasn't romantic enough and told him to do better. I want to turn the clock back and say yes, I love him Kate with every fibre of my being!" I'm almost screaming now, then it hits me, I run to the toilet as the wave of nausea takes its toll on my body. Kate stands behind me stroking my hair and making soothing noises at me.  
"We will find him Ana! Then we can have a double wedding"  
"I hope your right Kate but no double wedding, he was taken because of me he's not going to want anything to do with me after this!" I sob louder.  
Grace enters the room and has a hushed chat with Kate the next thing I feel is a jab in the arm before my body drifts off into unconsciousness.  
When I open my eyes it's daylight. I reach over to feel Christian and instead I find an empty space, the night before comes crashing back into my mind. I vow to myself that I'm not going to cry. I'm not weak, I'm bloody strong and I'm gonna find my man and bring him home. I climb weakly out of the bed, my body isn't quite reacting as it should, the memory of Grace and a sharp sting comes to mind. She must have drugged me! I rummage about for clothing but find none, there is a housecoat on the back of the door so I slip it on over my nightware and make my way downstairs. I find my way to the kitchen and see Gail and Taylor talking quickly they stop as soon as I enter the room. Gail ushers me to the nearest chair.  
"Ana, what can I get you this afternoon?" Afternoon?  
"How long have I been asleep or should that be drugged for? And where the Fuck are my clothes?" I shout making my fury evident.  
"I was just going to bring you something Ana. Dr Trevelyn said to leave you alone that you needed your rest to be strong for Christian" she says quietly.  
"Miss Steele here you go." He hands me a bag with a fresh outfit and my phone in it.  
"There is a bathroom in there, I'll run you a bath while you eat" Gail pushes a plate of macaroni cheese in front of me with a cup of tea before she hurries into the bathroom. I can smell the aroma of magnolia eliminating from the room. I eat my food slowly.  
"Miss Steele, Ana, I have some leads to follow up I wasn't willing to leave you though. I have three of our best over Sawyer, you already know, Ryan and Prescott. They will accompany you everywhere as there is a major threat against you."  
"Christian knew he was coming for him didn't he?" Taylor drops his head in confirmation. "Of all the stupid things to do! I'm guessing he knew that Hyde was out on bail?"  
"Yes" I get the sudden urge to punch something, I slam my fist into the wall.  
"Why the fuck would he do this to me?"  
"He has a plan Ana. Admittedly it has gone slightly wrong, but he did this to protect you."  
"Is Mia involved?" That bitch has had it in for me for a long time maybe Hyde is the reason?  
"Not that I'm aware of Ana. Miss Grey is upstairs and rather upset." Huh? She doesn't seem to be the type to actually give a fuck about someone else! Gail emerges from the bathroom  
"Baths all ready for you Ana, do you need anything else?" I love Gail she's not that much older than me and treats me like her little sister.  
"I should be fine, if my legs will cooperate!" I give her a small smile "thanks Gail" I walk into the bathroom. Gail has lit tealights on the shelves and made the room all soft and glowy. I immerse myself in the water trying to soak in all that Taylor said. I still feel a bit groggy and the steam in here is not helping, I feel my eyelids drooping and my mind wondering. I jump when I choke on a mouthful of water. I climb weakly out of the bath, coughing and splattering. Gail knocks at the door  
"Ana? Ana? Are you alright?"  
"Yeah I'm out the bath, I just choked on a bit of water I'll be out in a minute"  
I quickly dry my body and put on my underwear before I kneel at the side of the tub and wash my hair, I wrap it up in a towel turban and put on the rest of my clothes, a pretty pale blue blouse and a pair of black skinny jeans. I take a look in the mirror, my skin is white and eyes are red and puffy. I give my hair a quick fluff with a towel and head back to the kitchen. Gail has been joined by Grace, Kate and Mia and they all look as awful as what I just saw reflected back at me in the mirror.  
"Is there any news?" I see the nervous glances being cast between them, oh shit what now?

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**Hope you liked! Have a great 2013! Hope you have as much hogmanay fun as I intend to!**

**Please leave a review**

** See you in 2013**

**CarrieJ x**


	25. Taken? Part Two

**A/N Fifty shades belongs to E. L. James but this is my story!**

**WARNING this chapter is a toughie, it was hard to write but it explains a lot, neither Christian or Ana will finish this chapter the way they begin. All that said I hope you like and appreciate your reviews.**

**Enjoy...**

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Fuck! I needed to be up early, not that Anas little Dom performance wasn't fun, it was a surprising start to the day but I really wanted a chat with the brat, commonly known as my baby sister. She's lucky Ana didn't hear what she said last night or else she'd have been hospitalised! Sometimes her behaviour really fucks me off! She pulls this shit all the time and quite frankly I've got enough on my plate without adding her shit! I'm not joining her pity party, we were all adopted some of us just handle it better than others!  
More troubling to me is the fact that Hyde is out of prison and no doubt poised to make a move on Ana given that it's her testimony that will put him away for a long time on both sides of the world. I have close tabs on him and discreet security around Ana so there is no way he can get to her. If he tries he will regret the day he was born.  
I dropped Ana at her uni campus it was an awkward silent drive as I'm anxious about her being in a public place alone although I know there are three security guards within 100feet of her at all times it does nothing for my mood. I'm fucked off at the world and whoever bailed the fucker, Welch better have a a name for me. I storm into my house and up to the office barely acknowledging Taylor. Why he's still with me I'll never know? I think it's Gail's influence.  
I phone my dad to see if he's heard about Hyde's release yet yet but he obviously hasn't, thank God. I'm poised waiting for him, I set the wheels in motion when I heard of his release. I need Taylor to put some thing in place but other than that I'm ready to smoke the bastard out. I have my plan on a need to know and no-one knows everything, just enough so that they don't get caught in the messy conclusion. I work for a short time unable to concentrate, before I text Taylor to come up.  
He comes in for his afternoon debriefing he has a worried look on his face.  
"Sir there has been some movement and Hyde has gone underground, I suspect he was aware of your tail on him." Shit this is not how this was supposed to go.  
"Fuck! Find him Taylor! Ana's safety is not to be compromised, EVER!" I bark  
"Yes sir. She has three local security with her, she has not left campus. She has been in meetings since you left her. I would like to increase security here too sir. I suggest we bring over Sawyer, Ryan and Prescott."  
"Fine. Ana needs to be safe, I've put her through too much as it is..." I tail off.  
My mind wonders into the nightmare that has woken me often, the night I attacked Ana myself. I replay that night over and over, one minute we are in love the next, I'm an animal pouncing on her mauling her, hearing her screams of protest before being ripped from her by Taylor. I shudder involuntarily.  
"Sir?" Taylor interrupts my reverie.  
"I'd feel more comfortable if you were close to Ana too Taylor. I want you to go and watch her apartment for anything unusual, set up some surveillance cameras inside, plus one in Ana's bedroom." I throw him the keys Ana had cut for me. "I want the footage closely monitored."  
"Yes sir, I have someone who can have this done in a couple of hours."  
"Good."  
I put my head down and get back to work, now that's done in hand there's a weight off my mind. I go through the stack of paperwork quickly and realise I've missed my job! The time flies past so quickly that I barely realise it's gone. There is a knock at my office door.  
"Sir its all done. I doubt Miss Steele or Miss Kavanaugh will notice the difference." He shows me the live feed on his cell phone.  
"Thank you Taylor."  
Just as I'm about to dismiss him my cell buzzes  
*I'm All done and getting the bus home. A x*  
"Taylor go and collect miss Steele from uni. Take her to her parents house, Hyde is less likely to go there."  
"Yes sir" I can see he's unhappy with my decision but he doesn't question me. He leaves quickly.  
I grab the keys to Anas apartment and head for the front door. I give her a quick call to tell her to expect Taylor. I open the front door and am greeted by a most unwelcome face.  
"Hello again Christian!" He sneers at me. Grabbing my cell.  
"What do you want Jack?" I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins.  
"Ana" he replies. I go to lunge at him. "I wouldn't do that if I was you." I punch him square in the jaw. "Don't say I didn't warn you" he laughs.  
"Get out of my fucking house Hyde! Your not getting Ana, she's protected from scrum like you"  
"Scum like us I think you mean! You got to do to her what I didn't!" He presses me against the wall. I knee him in the bollocks and he goes down. I get past him and try to leave there is a large man that seems vaguely familiar blocking my exit and a blonde woman coming towards me that definitely is.  
"Maria? What the Fuck?" I can hear Jack sneering at Ana down the phone. I can't hear what he says I'm transfixed by the (apparently) dead woman stroking my face.  
"Hey sweetie, did you miss me?" She murmurs in my ear.  
"Huh?" I thought she was dead! I had a fucking breakdown over her! I cannot string a sentence together even if my life depends on it.  
She pulls something from behind her and it makes contact with my head head I feel myself falling and look up to see her laughing over me. The room goes dark.  
I come too in Ana's bedroom. I'm tightly bound to the bed. Maria is stalking round with a whip in her hands. I'm only in my underwear she takes long hungry looks at my body. Licking her lips she lashes across my chest. Over and over. I squeeze my eyes shut and think of Ana. I flinch at every stinging bite. I open my eyes when she stops. I can see the blood seeping from the welts. I notice Hyde is sitting in the corner watching Maria intently, cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. He notices my stare and stands up, that's when I see all the cameras he has set up. He's recording this? Why the fuck would he do that he's one twisted motherfucker!  
Maria walks over to him and plucks the cigarette from his lips, she takes a long drag before stubbing it out on my chest. I cry out with the pain.  
"Now now Maria I want some fun with him too!" He grabs her by the hair and pulls her down for a kiss. "Are you ready for your close up?" He sneers at me.  
He stands at the end of the bed and snaps a Polaroid, I guess this is how he's getting to Ana. I lay there staring at the ceiling unable to focus on anything else. I'm force fed a glass of water, it has a funny taste. My head feels funny, I the room is spinning, one positive is I am no longer aware of Maria and Jack. I eventually pass out.  
When I waken I'm on my own in a different bed. I have no idea how long I've been here it could be five minutes or five days. I feel groggy like I've been doped knowing that's how Hyde operates I probably have been. I have a pressing urge to use the bathroom. I squirm awkwardly and the bed creaks beneath me. I notice a few more burns on my chest obviously done when I was unconscious. My back stings too. I can barely lift my head to see. My moving has obviously alerted them that I'm awake.  
"Hello Mr Grey" she purrs in my ear.  
"Hello Maria" I mutter angrily.  
"You look uncomfortable baby, can I give you a hand?" She reaches down the front of my boxers. I can't hold anymore and I paid all over her hand. She pulls away disgusted. I grin at her.  
"Ooops" she grimaces and stalks out the room. Hyde comes storming up the hall.  
"You filthy bastard!" He screams in my face. "Lets see what your family and little Ana make of that." He pulls out a hand held video camera. "Here we are Ana, look what your missing!" He zooms in on the scars he's made on my body then on my wet underwear. "You want this Miss Steele? Come and get him then baby. You'll have to pay for him, but we can discuss that in person"  
"Nooooo Ana don't do anything he says" I yell  
"Aww sounds like he cares about you! Pity he didn't care about Maria so much" Maria strides into into view.  
I lie back helplessly. I block out what they are saying in their video to Ana. I hope she keeps herself safe. I hear the cane coming at me before I feel it. Pain lances through my leg. I scream. I see their gleeful faces. The camera is gone and Jack leaves the room. I drift in and out of consciousness. I awaken to see Maria standing over me, staring blankly.  
"What did I ever do to you Maria?" She laughs  
"Nothing! That's the point baby you could never match up to my Jack. You were so suffocating with your 'oh Maria I love you', you made me feel sick! I tried to leave you so many times but you'd do something to stop me, you or your sister! Oh I was fucking her too by the way. She's a much more attentive lover and has a firm belief belief that whatever's yours is hers too. She's right into bdsm! Handcuffs, whips, chains you name it me and your sister did it."  
I feel sick! Fucking Mia! I can feel the colour drain from my face. Maria notices too, she throws her head back and laughs. She looks dirty and I can see track marks on her arms. She's obviously on something, I look into her eyes and wonder what I saw in them? They are cold and empty.  
"Oh Mr Grey there was one thing about you I always admired." She whispers "your unspoiled body... whoopsie looks like that's gone now, will precious Ana want you now? Your damaged goods Christian" she snarls.  
Hyde comes up behind her. The proceed to make out in front of me. Hyde lays her down on the bed next to mine and cuffs her down. I try to wriggle away away so I'm further from them and turn my head. I feel Hyde creeping round with a whip. He lashes her gently. I can hear her convulse and moan with pleasure. I feel the whip bite me as Jack comes round to my bed. The tears stream from my eyes. My body chafes against the ropes as I sob. Maria and Jack ignore me as they have sex right there in the bed beside mine. I get the odd punch and kick. Thankfully it's over quickly and they move off. Hyde looks over his shoulder  
"Next time Ana baby that'll be you. I'll protect you from him and his rapist tendencies." I gasp in horror. How does he know?  
I hear a scuffle in the hall? Or wherever is behind the door. Jack and Maria are too busy fucking on the bed again and probably injecting crap into their veins brainwashing from the smell. The door bursts open and in strides Taylor followed closely by Ana.  
She looks down at me the sorrow evident on her face, before striding over to Maria, who hips to her feet.  
"I really don't give a fuck who you are but you crossed a line when you touched what's mine bitch!" She punches her hard in the face, she recalls backwards and slumps against the wall. Jack makes a move towards her but Taylor is ready for him he twists his arm up his back before Ana strides forward and proceeds to knee Jack in the groin. He groans and slumps forward beside Maria. Taylor handcuffs the two of them together back to back before helping Ana to release me.  
"There's an ambulance on the way sir" he reassuringly pats my shoulder, I flinch away from him. He pulls his hand away.  
"What day is it?"  
"You've been gone for nearly three days baby." Ana sits beside me. Not touching me me after my reaction to Taylor. She reaches for my hand looking at me, I shake my head and pull it away.  
"Please don't touch me" She pulls back. "How did you find me?"  
"Mia." Her face looks grim.  
"Mia?"  
"Yes. She knew Maria wasn't dead. She also knew of some Scottish relative that had left her a cottage up north in a will, once Taylor had that information it was easy to find isn't exactly brain of Britain!"  
"But Mia?"  
"I know baby. The ambulance is coming. Rest now, we can talk of over later" she orders gently. I hear Hyde begin to talk but Ana delivers a swift kick to his gut and he stops  
"There is nothing I want to hear from you Jack and as for you," she stares at Maria "your just sick!" She spits on the pair of them, I'm in awe of her.I always look on her as fragile and on the outside its how she appears but, hell I'd never fuck with her!  
"Your just jealous Ana, Jack never wanted you it's always me, he films them all for me"  
"Shut the fuck up" she spits.  
"I filmed some for him too, he loved the ones with Mia" she goads, if she's trying to rile Ana up more it's working!  
"Is that how you two get your jollies? Fucking brothers and sisters?" Ana hisses.  
"I suppose you could put it like that" she laughs and Jack joins her. There's something we're missing here...  
The puzzle pieces slot into place, I look at Ana and Taylor. For once even Taylor looks sick.  
"Your brother and sister, what kind of twisted family are you?"  
"We were adopted as was our youngest sibling, we got taken from Jack split up, He got stuck in a foster home. I got put in a group home but the wee one, she got adopted out, some fancy rich family." The cogs whir in my brain, there is only one person that makes sense in this whole thing.  
"Mia..." I whisper.  
"Oh look he's got more brains than you thought Maria" he sneers. I jump off the bed pain courses through me. I ball my hand into a fist and punch him with all my might, he falls to the floor pulling Maria down too, their heads bounce off the concrete floor. I stare up at Taylor  
"It was self defence sir, they had a weapon" he says catapulting a gun from Jack's belt wiping it of his prints and placing it in Jack's hand.  
I force myself out the room. Ana and Taylor follow. I can hear the sirens in the distance. I look out of the window and realise we are in the middle of nowhere. I look at Ana,  
"How did you find me again?"  
"Jack was in touch with Mia he blackmailed her into posting his bail, she wouldn't say what with... anyway she had his mobile number, Taylor gave it to Welch and he traced it here when Mia called him. We followed the signal signal and the rest is history." I gaze up at her, this strong amazing woman. I have so much to say to her but no words! The emt's rush in and gather me up on a stretcher and rush me into one of the ambulances. Ana is right by my side. I reach up and take her hand. She smiles down at me.  
"Your mum and dad will meet us at the hospital"  
"Okay, how is everyone else?" She gets what I'm asking. She leans over me and whispers  
"Hyde is dead baby, Maria has a severe head injury, it's touch and go." I breathe a sigh of relief. I did it, not how I intended but Hyde is out of our lives forever. Now just Mia to deal with.

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**Ok so like I said compared with the others this is a dark chapter. Please leave a review, I promise this is about as dark as it will get, the humour will return shortly, after I've dealt with Mia!**

**CarrieJ x**


	26. The Long Road

**A/N FSOG is E. L. JAMES creation this is my story!**

**WARNING this is another dark chapter. It does span several weeks I've put in breaks to show where the weeks are during this time it's more like Ana's diary. I hope you like**

** Enjoy...**

* * *

I sit and hold his hand. He has drifted off to sleep, he's battered broken and dirty. I reach over to pull up the blanket, his hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, a look of sheer terror in his eyes. What the fuck did that bastard do to him? He holds on for a minute before acknowledging his surroundings and letting me go. I pull my hand back and rest it in my lap. It's still throbbing. Grace thinks I broke something when I punched the wall, I think I just made that injury worse, oh well I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Christians eyes are closed again, he's not sleeping his body is tensed up, I wish I could relieve it, I though the news of Hyde's death would have done that. I can't get over Mia, I knew she was a bitch but to set up your brother... I suppose they did have videos of her antics with her biological sister *SHUDDER* I hope to he'll Grace and Carrick have a bodyguard for her because right now I want to tear her limb from limb! This drive is taking forever! The paramedics have put drips in his arms and speak in hushed tones to me from time to time. They have confirmed he has several burns on his back and chest that have gotten infected, his leg is broken in two places, he is severely dehydrated and has several puncture marks on his arms but they do not know what he's been injected with. They have made him swallow charcoal to wash out his stomach in case he has been forced to take anything. He is refusing to talk he just stares blankly when his eyes are open and throws me the look of despair while he grips onto my hand as if it's a life raft in the middle of the Atlantic. I feel us stopping. The driver opens the back doors and a team of doctors and nurses rush to get him out. He moves away terrified. I gently squeeze his hand and give him the trust me look. He nods.  
"Could you all back off a bit please, he has been traumatised and the last thing he needs is a hoard of people coming at him"  
"Its procedure miss ?"  
"Miss Steele and if that's your procedure then we will go to another hospital and get Mr Grey the treatment he requires there"  
I see Taylor talking to someone and soon there is only one nurse and doctor. I smile at him and he nods before striding off talking into his mobile. We finally make our way inside, poor Christian is floundering like a fish out of water. I keep a hold of his hand and reassure him I push the nurse into taking us straight to his room assuming her money is no object, again Taylor had a quiet word and we are in a lift to the top floor. The room he is put in is huge, it has a large window overlooking wherever we are. I assure him he's safe and Taylor takes up position outside the door. The doctor comes in and takes vials of blood for tests and swabs his burns.  
"The results will take twenty-four hours to come back we will start him on broad-spectrum antibiotics until the results are back" He speaks in hushed tones to me.  
"He can hear you, you know! You should be talking to him, oh and his mother will be here within the hour she is a doctor and will consulted on everything you are doing."  
"Yes Miss Steele." He leaves the room slightly cowed by my harsh words.  
For the first time since the rescue we are alone.  
"Christian?" I whisper. His head turns and he looks at me. "Can you talk to me?"  
He shrugs. It's as if he has no words.  
"Do you want anything?" He pulls on my hand.  
"You want me?" He nods. I smile at him.  
"Is there anything else you need?" He nods.  
"What?" He pushes the covers down and points at his manhood. My eyes practically fall out of their sockets, he can't want me to do THAT, here can he?  
"Erm... I don't think that's a good idea" he looks confused at me. Oh crap "you need the toilet?" He nods,  
"I'll need to get a nurse" he shakes his head violently.  
"I can't lift you by myself, I need help. I'll need to touch you too, you know that?" He nods. He takes my other hand and places it on his waist. He grimaces as if it's causing him pain for my my hand to be there.  
"Can you wait for your mum?" He shakes his head "how about I get Taylor? You trust him don't you?" He nods as a solitary tear rolls down his face.  
"I need to let you go for a minute to get him" his body shakes as I let go. I stay in his eyeline as I open the door. I beckon Taylor inside and notice he's not alone. Sawyer, and two others are there too.  
"I need your help" he looks confused. "To take Christian to the bathroom" I explain. The nurse chooses this moment to walk in. Christian lets out an almost primal cry of fear. I run to his side and hold his hand. The nurse follows me over and talks to Christian.  
"I need a urine sample when your ready sweetie" she pats his leg and he recoils as if she stabbed him.  
"Leave a bowl or something and I'll make sure you get one, just keep your hands off him!" I shoot her a look that says don't mess with me bitch. She shuffles off out of the room. "Taylor I want him assigned a new nurse, one that is more aware of current circumstances." He nods.  
"Mr Grey, is it okay if I take your hand?" He nods and holds it out. I grab his waist and he hooks his arm around my neck, leaning heavily on me. We shuffle to the bathroom. Poor Taylor doesn't know where to look when I pull down his boxers and help him to sit. We get him up again and help him back to bed. I press the nurse call button so that she can have her sample. She shuffles in takes her paper bowl and leaves again.  
Half an hour later Grace bursts into the room, obviously having been briefed by the doctor and Taylor as she makes no attempt to touch him.  
"Hello son. How are you feeling?" He gives her a pained expression. "Okay darling I'll get you some pain relief." I look at her the confusion evident on my face. "He didn't speak for the first six months he was with us, I can read his face like a book Ana" she explains.  
"I didn't know... Why didn't he speak?" I look at him as does Grace he gives he a nod.  
"He was traumatised as an infant, he found his birth mothers body, she had passed and it was two days before he was discovered, cuddled into her. His default setting for dealing with things is either to shut down entirely or to lash out and almost destroy himself in the process." Tears flow freely down his face, without thinking I lean over and wipe them away with my hand. He doesn't stop me.  
"I'll never let anything hurt you again baby. I promise" I stare into his grey eyes and move closer so that he knows what's coming. His breathing becomes slightly erratic but I continue, he needs this as much as I do. I place my lips gently on his, keeping my eyes locked into his. His flutter closed and he presses into me a bit harder. I shut my eyes and enjoy the moment, forgetting entirely that Grace is standing just behind me. I gently pull away, he moans gently in complaint. I open my eyes and smile at him, he gives a small smile back.  
"He needs x-rays taken of his body he could have any number of broken bones, and I know that your hand has at least one fracture too Ana" he looks up at me furiously  
"I punched a wall... No biggie" he shakes his head. A new nurse comes in.  
"I have some pain relief here and a light sedative for you Mr Grey, it just so we can give you a thorough examination without causing anymore pain, it also means you'll be more relaxed for your x-rays" He nods and let's her continue. He zones out on reality and his body goes limp. His eyes drift closed closed and for the first time today he looks peaceful.  
"You need to get that hand seen to Ana, I'll stay with him. You can send in Carrick too we won't let anything hurt him." She looks down and takes his hand "my poor baby" she whispers quietly.  
I walk out the room Taylor instantly jumps to attention.  
"Miss Steele ma'am"  
"Its ok I've got to go for an x-ray Graces orders"  
"Prescott will go with you ma'am" a tall well built woman steps forward. I don't instantly like her but I suppose that doesn't matter she's not here to be liked she's here for security although I'm pretty sure I don't need someone for that I can do it myself. I don't bother arguing as my hand is throbbing with pain.  
I walk through the waiting room and see Carrick he rushes over to me  
"How is he Ana?"  
"Honestly?" He nods "Pretty fucked up, he can't bare anyone touching him apart from me, they have sedated him to examine him, oh and he won't speak, but Grace has told me that his defence mechanism."  
"Oh. Hyde is dead, Maria has a significant brain injury and a broken jaw, they don't think she will regain consciousness."  
"I know, or at least I'd guessed as much"  
"I need to talk to the three of you, the police are crawling all over this. I need the truth if you want my help." He speaks in hushed tones, I suppose the walls have ears here. I give him a nod.  
"You can go see him now I've got to go get my hands x-rayed." He laughs  
"Dr Grace, never off duty!" I smile illegible a nod and walk away.

It turns out I've broken three fingers and have a 'nasty' sprained wrist. Christian has three infected burns on his back, lots of welts that will fade from the whipping and the ropes. His left leg will need a surgical plate in it to repair the break and he is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder according to Dr Flynn. Grace got him over the minute she heard he'd been abducted. Fucking Flynn, badgering me about putting on a brave face, wanting me to let my feelings out, what a prick! My feelings came pouring out when I ran into a room and found the love of my life tied to a bed with that fucking letch and his psycho sister, they got what they deserved! Mia has been nowhere near for the last week that we have been stuck here. Today the infection is almost gone and all he needs are the dressings changed once a day. He's not spoken yet but it looks like he's trying a lot harder to come back to me. His eyes seem more alert he moves his head to follow conversations. Flynn believes this is dramatic progress, to me dramatic progress would be him actually speaking, but then I didn't train for years to speak psychobabble to anyone that'll pay for it. We are able to go home, well back to his parents rented house, I did try to fight that I wanted to go back to his house in Glasgow or my flat but he started to scream at the thought. I doubt we will ever go back. I even suggested we stay with my parents but Grace pulled the Dr mother card on me. So now I'm staying in that house with every possibility that SHE will be there too! It almost brings smoke puffing out my ears.

* * *

We have been here a week. I spend all day sitting in silence with Christian and all night awake listening to Kate and Elliot shag, my God they have some amount of stamina! I did make the mistake of going and knocking on their door at three in the morning. That was a mistake I'll not make again! Full frontal of Elliot in all his glory, if that wasn't bad enough I checked him out, impressive, not as good as his brother though! And he caught me! I was the colour of a beetroot. Then I saw Kate hovering over the bed in a fucking sex swing, I nearly died! I just ran back to my room to see Christian in a cold sweat silently freaking out. Thank God Mia has pissed off back to the states. Sawyer and Ethan went with her, apparently to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid! Maria died too, no tears will be shed in this house for her, bitch that she was. The police have gone, they accepted that Christian was acting in self defence. No further questions have been asked. Taylor and Carrick have made it disappear. Life goes on it would appear. I just wish Christian would come back to me. I need him.

* * *

Three fucking weeks, three fucking weeks! I feel like I'm going insane trying to have conversations with a mute! If this was anyone else and I mean ANYONE ELSE I would be long gone! This is no fucking picnic! I sat and did ALL my course work. I'm finished it all, two months work in three fucking weeks. I'm angry now at the entire universe, Dr Flynn has been making me have chats with him my anger bubbles over every time, Grace is worried I'll have permanent damage in my hand and wrist, I use my left when I'm frustrated so it can get as buggered up as I want it and it won't really matter. Flynn has suggested taking up boxing as I have a good technique, patronising English twat! He sits with Christian for an hour a day, I swear I heard him reply to the inane questions once. I'm banned from the house during his therapy now, I get sent to my mother's or round the shops with Gail or lunch with Kate somewhere. On the plus side it's only three more weeks till the cast comes off his leg.

* * *

Ok so four weeks is my official breaking point! I stood beside him and let it all out, all my rage, my sorrow, my regret everything. It was cathartic to say the least! When I finished he actually spoke! The last words I wanted to hear tho, I don't believe any woman wants her man to come back to her just to tell her 'fuck off Ana'. I went upstairs and packed and left. My heart feels like it's been ripped out and crushed by a herd of stampeding wildebeest! I'm alone now. I headed back to my flat. I tore my room apart. It made me physically sick to be there. I took anything that meant something and pack it in the boot of my Micra. I hit the road, I just drove and drove until I ran out of petrol. I found myself three miles from Newcastle near the airport. I don't know what possesed me but I got on a plane with all my worldly possessions and headed for Seattle to get the bitch that ruined my life!

* * *

Five weeks post incident and I'm living in a small bedsit in Seattle. I got a job easily enough, at a small publishing company, SIP. Seattle Independent Publishing, I have a short term work visa, I can stay for six months, plenty of time to hunt down Mia Grey. I know she's not at GEH anymore, she's holed up in a flat not too far from mine. I've seen Ethan coming and going. Sawyer is about as discreet as a brick so he's not seen me yet. I've made one friend, Leila from the kids department we get on really well. I've heard in the news that Christian is due back within the next 24 hours. Journalists seem to know everything in this country. I really wanted to see her before any other Grey was in the country, it will make it more awkward if Taylor is about. He won't know where I am I took a plane two states away and drove to Seattle. I've also used a false name it's been easy to hide most things, ok so SIP needed my real name but I did digging and its not connected to the name Grey in any way. I sit back and wait for my moment. I keep my head down at work only talking to Leila at lunch. She's a nice enough girl but she's no Kate. I miss her!  
I see on the news Christian is here. His picture is on the internet and every time I see his face another little piece of my heart breaks. It takes all my willpower not to Sprint round to Escala to see him. I know it's not what he wants I need to respect that. I need to get to Mia. I'm off today and this is my chance! I dress carefully and walk purposefully to Mia's front door. I Buzz her and she lets me in. I charge to her door and knock loudly. She opens the door and from her expression I'm obviously not who she expected.  
"Hello Mia" I push my way into her flat.  
"Ana? What are you doing here? What do you want?" She follows me into her lounge.  
"What do I want? Really? You can't guess?"  
"Ana, I can explain..." I punch her hard in the face  
"That's for what you did to Christian" I spit on her "and that's for ruining my life!" I turn on my heel and go to walk out. I open her front door and I walk straight into him.  
"Ana?" The horror on his face is apparent I shove him out the way and run.  
"ANA!" I spin round and look at him, just to be sure before I turn away and run to my flat. I slam my door and slide down the back, sobbing loudly as I do.

I feel my world crumbling all around me.

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**Hope you liked! I'm trying to bring the story back round to the light but for now they are apart... **

**Leave a review please **

**CarrieJ x**


	27. The End?

**A/N Fifty shades belongs to E.L. James this story is all mine!**

**Thanks to my Twitter friends for you kinky suggestions, I may have used some... I also have to give credit to my hubby for one line, you might spot it, it's not one I'd have written! Thanks for all the lovely reviews hope you like the next one... As always**

**Enjoy...**

* * *

I sob until it hurts. I have no tears left, my body has become devoid of all emotion. I get up from the floor and head to the cupboard, I pull out my possessions and shove them in my little red suitcase. My mission here has been accomplished, it's time to go home. Mum will know what to do. I zip the case shut and leave the key with the landlord downstairs. I trudge out the door and walk up the street. I keep my head down as I'm in no mood to be polite. My eyes are burning in the fresh air and my head feels like it's going to explode, but none of that matters. Mum will make me better. I walk and walk, not really knowing where I'm going, only having a vague familiarity with Seattle. I'm looking for the airport, I should have got a taxi and now I'm lost. My inner sense of numbness is beginning to retract and the pain is too much. I drop onto a bench. It feels comforting and familiar and calms me again. I raise my head and look around. I'm at the park where we had our picnic! I recall that day with joy only to feel the weight of his rejection pile onto me again.  
"... Well I'm sorry I can't stand here and watch you wallow in self pity anymore, you don't even look at me! Do I repulse you that much? Do you want me to go? Your pushing me out out and anytime I try to find out why no one wants to talk to me! FUCK! Christian?! Are you even listening to me? I need to know what you want and I'm gonna stand here until you tell me!"  
The bastard let me stand there for an hour before staring directly into my eyes  
"Fuck off Ana" no emotion, no explanation, nothing!  
"Fine I'll go pack now then. Good bye Christian. I still love you" nothing. He can see the tears streaming down my face but there is no reaction. I head upstairs and pack.  
"I'm going now." I lean forward to place a gentle kiss on his cheek and he recoils from me.  
That was the moment I realised I'd lost him.  
"Here" I'm dragged back to the here and now and see a handkerchief being waved at me.  
"Thanks" I gratefully accept it from the stranger. I dry my eyes, again, wondering how my body can produce quite so many tears. I look at the man that has sat beside me. It's Ethan!  
"Ethan?"  
"Hi Ana" he looks at me with pity like I have a dead relative.  
"Why are you here did you follow me? Doesn't your little bitch need you?"  
"Ana, I get your emotional so I'm gonna ignore that last part, and she's fine by the way, just a black eye. Hell yeah I followed you, I saw the state you were in leaving Mia's! Ana you are on missing persons reports both here and at home, everyone is trying to find you Steele and here you are alone, when there is no need to be!"  
"I couldn't call, then you'd find me! I has issues to resolve with miss grey that was more important"  
"Really Ana? SERIOUSLY? Kate is beside herself, your Mum has been making pleas on the news, she even came here Ana! She's staying with Grace in Bellevue. I'll take you to her now if you want"  
"No. I'm going home, I never want to see another Grey so long as I live! I'm done with the drama, I'm done with the emotional rollercoaster, I'm just done Ethan. I'm tired and I have a plane to catch if you'll excuse me."  
I stand and Ethan lets me pass. He looks upset but he'll get over it. I walk and walk trying in vain to find the airport, I end up at a bus stop. I wait, just my luck no busses are due for another hour. The day is slipping by and I know that Ethan will have told everyone where I am and where I'm heading. It starts to rain, the rain that soaks through all your clothes instantly. I'm drenched and my hair is stuck to my head. My suitcase doesn't look like it's holding up well either, that'll teach me not to buy cheap luggage! It's slowly getting darker. I take a good look around, this does not look like the friendliest neighbourhood to be in after dark! I grab my sodden case and trundle on in the rain. I decide to try to get back into the heart of the city where there will be lots of people and I'll blend in a bit better. I walk at an almost frantic pace when I notice out the corner of my eye that I'm being followed! It's about 200 yards behind me and its definitely tailing me. I put my head down and pick up my pace so that I'm almost jogging with my case bashing along behind me. I twist and turn up and down side streets in between buildings yet this car is always there. I stop at the first high-rise I come to. I sit on top of my suitcase on the pavement outside. There are lots of people milling about and the car appears to have gone. Once I've caught my breath I head to the nearest bus stop. I look at the timetable there is one due in five minutes that will take me to SeaTac. I glance about at my surroundings. They seem familiar. Across the road is a large tower block, it looks like an office complex. It looks like it's entirely made of glass and it shipments in the moonlight, the name is etched across the impressive front doors, I can't read it from here. I squint my eyes trying to make it out but I really can't. I see a fleet of black Audi people carriers pull up outside the building. An attractive blonde holds the door open. Two older women get out the first car, they have their arms linked together, they stride through the doors the next car contains a young couple, he is tall and muscular and she has flame red hair that I would recognise anywhere. I sit frozen to the spot, knowing where I am and who is about to emerge from the final vehicle. He stands tall, broad and muscular. He has a cane and is still every ounce the Adonis. I can feel the chemistry we have crackling through the air between us, every hair on my body is standing up. I want to jump up and run over to him, but I won't. Just as I think he's about to turn around my bus comes, I can't be here, the pain of seeing him lances through me. I jump aboard and pay my money. I sit down and look out of the window. He catches my eye barely for a second and then he's gone.  
The bus trundles slowly through the streets of Seattle. It's taking every ounce of strength I have not to jump up and stop the bus. I can do this, I can leave. I feel my hand hitting the stop button before I even realise I've done it. I grab my case and run back towards Grey House. The cars are gone and the place is eerily quiet. I didn't imagine it, I know I'm not going mad! I stop outside the door and contemplate my next move. Mum and Kate are in there, they won't let anything happen to me. It's not as if my life could get any worse, unless of course, he rejects me in front of everyone, that would top the misery I'm in right now. I hesitate and step back. The door swings open  
"We've been waiting for you Miss Steele" she smiles the fake blonde bimbo smile. I know she must have a brain but she sure is playing the dumb blonde to perfection.  
"Yeah...sure you have!" I can't help it sarcasm runs through my veins.  
"If you'd follow me"  
"Erm, no, sorry, I made a mistake, I have to go" I go to grab my bag but it's gone, I bet Taylor took it, damn that man! He's too bloody sneaky!  
"Where exactly? Where is more important than here? Your mother is beside herself upstairs, your best friend has barely slept for a week and you boyfriend needs you so where do you have to go that's more fucking important than that Ana? I'd love to know!" Elliott's voice booms around the vast lobby.  
"My boyfriend? I don't have one Elliot didn't you hear, he dumped me, and as for Kate and mum I hardly think here is an appropriate place!"  
"Then explain this to me Ana, why are you here?" I don't know! Why am I here? I look up at Elliot confused as hell I can see I'm not leaving, he can see I'm not leaving, but I can't seem to move forwards either.  
"I don't know" he grabs my hand and pulls me into the lift. I try to fight my way out but I'm exhausted and hungry and still very wet. I stop fighting him and he holds me tightly in his embrace.  
"Christian is a dick sometimes Ana but he loves you. You leaving pulled him back from wherever he went. He has been searching for you, Taylor has been all over the country looking and we find you through Ethan? And even then it's that first wee temper of yours that gets you caught. Mia's fine by the way"  
"Yeah I know, Ethan said earlier."  
"You saw Ethan? When?"  
"He found me in a park, he followed me, a few hours after I hit Mia."  
"Son of a bitch didn't tell us!"  
"I asked him not to. Don't be mad at Ethan for my actions." The lift doors burst open into another reception. I recognise this one, very well. My insides are doing somersaults, I feel like I'm gonna puke, this is not good. Elliot pushes me from his arms out the door. He follows behind blocking my exit. I can physically feel my heart beating. I stumble forward, I can feel myself teetering and just as I'm about to face plant, I feel his arms wrap round me. Holding me tightly, not letting me drop. I can barely breathe, I don't want to look into his eyes and feel his rejection but the sadist in me pushes my eyes up his body as I scramble to my feet. The cast is off his leg and I can see a cane nearby. His arms feel as strong and reliable as the first day we met, his body although covered I can feel it bristling with the same electricity as mine. His chin is covered in designer stubble, either that or he hasn't shaved today, his lips look warm and inviting. We are now standing face to face, he still hasn't let me go. I can feel desire spreading leisurely throughout my body. I lift my hands to run through his hair, he doesn't stop me. I can feel his hands moving up my back into my hair and down my front. I'm about to look him in the eye when he pushes me back against the nearest wall. He pins me with his thighs and I can tell at least part of him is pleased to see me! He still won't look at me. He grabs my arms and pins them above me, I'm now entirely at his mercy.  
"Ahem! Anastasia Rose Steele you have a lot of explaining to do young lady!" My mother's voice bellows from behind Christian. He drops my hands and turns his back to me before hobbling into his office. Damn why won't he look at me?!  
"Mum! I missed you" I launch myself at her and she wraps me up stroking and kissing my hair.  
"Ana your soaked! You need a hot bath and to get those clothes off as soon as possible!"  
I hear a feint groan coming from Christian's direction, but no one else pays any attention, I must be hearing things!  
"Ana! We need words!" Kate grabs me too.  
"Sorry. I had to do something..." I trail off when I see Grace.  
"I hope that's put an end to all this nonsense once and for all. Mia is an easily led young woman..."  
"Don't mom" Grace looks over speechless.  
"Christian?"  
"Don't stand there and fucking defend her and her scummy family" he roars.  
"Its ok son, they are gone now. I'm here nothing will happen again" Kate, mum and I feel like a bunch of voyeurs watching this private family moment. We shuffle out the door, I'm at the back and for some reason I can't leave the room.  
"I know you are mom but it's not you I want" please look at me, please say it's me you want! I'm already yours baby, heart and soul! I can't help myself  
"Who do you want then Christian?" If I could kick myself I really would. I find myself staring into cold hard Grey eyes. There's no sparkle, no life, no love. It's not me! I can feel the tears threatening to break through the dam I've built up, no I refuse to cry over him again. Fuck one solitary tear zig-zags it's way down my face. I cannot break contact, it hurts to keep linked to him but I'm like a moth attracted to his flame. His eyes melt like molten lava in front of me, I see the passion, the desire, the darkness, I can see his soul.  
"I want you Ana." I run to his arms and kiss him with everything I have. "I don't want you to die from hypothermia though Miss Steele!"  
"Yes sir" I whisper. I can feel his body shudder. He leans forward to try to lift me, but I stop him.  
"I don't think that's a good idea now is it?" He laughs. I walk over to the door with limpy following behind.  
"Taylor, we need a car, to Escala please...myself and Miss Steele...thank you." I smile at him. He takes my hand and we board the lift with everyone else. My mum thrusts a phone into my hand.  
"Hello?"  
"You off chasing the boys Ana?"  
"Something like that Dad!"  
"Are you going to stay there then? With your young man?"  
"I don't know dad"  
"Do what makes you happy sweetheart"  
"Thanks dad. I love you"  
"I love you too, and if your mother asks I really shouted at you okay?"  
"Yes dad"  
I hand the phone back to my mum she says goodnight to my father and puts it away.  
We step out in the lobby. Grace is organising everyone into the correct vehicles, it's not that difficult a job to do! Mum and Grace head off to Bellevue. Kate and Elliot are going to his apartment in the pike market district, or at least I think that's what they said? A district named after a fish? You live and learn! Christian and I are off to Escala, a little piece of heaven on earth. I hug everyone goodbye and climb into the car.  
We arrive quickly, and I'm soon I'm the huge room that is his lounge/dining/kitchen and ballroom all in one! He drags me into his room, into his en suite. He fills the bath with bubbles and orders me to strip. I'm hesitant as he hasn't looked at me since Grey House.  
"Ana take your clothes off and get get in the damn tub!"  
"You could at least aim to be polite Christian!" I slowly begin to strip knowing he's watching me in the mirror. I stop when only my underwear remains. It's the cotton bra and pants with the embroidered hearts he gave me. I see his eyes prowling over my reflection. I walk over to him  
"Are you gonna sit and watch me like a pervert or are you gonna show me that you do actually want me?" His hands immediately are on me, he unhooks my bra and throws it away then yanks off my panties. He balls them up and smells them. God that turns me on.  
"Get in the bath Ana"  
"Only if you'll join me..." there is no hesitation, he pulls his t-shirt over his head and drops his jeans. His underwear comes off showing his battle scarred body. His wounds have mainly healed. He has some small marks on his chest.  
"Stop staring at them Anastasia! They don't change me."  
"They did though, they made you send me away"  
"Ana...fuck, I was in a bad place... I still love you, I thought you'd be better if you were free, you weren't happy baby"  
"I thought you hated me!"  
"I didn't want you to resent me Ana and you were starting to, it hurt me to send you away but, fuck Ana, you ran to a different country!"  
"I had to find her..."  
"I know, baby, I know" he pulls me close. I can feel the magnetism growing between us.  
"Bathtime" I step into the bathtub pulling him with me.  
I sit facing him, he pulls me forward onto his lap so I'm straddling him. I lean forward and kiss him with everything I have he returns my kiss with the same firey passion. I moan and his young enters my mouth, gently licking me and enticing me to do a sultry tango with him. His hands snake around my waist to my thighs he pulls me closer his mouth breaks contact with mine and he indulges my nipples. He pulls and elongates them them with his hands, bringing me near the point of climax but letting me teeter on the edge before withdrawing his stimulation. His fingers caress down my body and over my thighs. He brings his hand you and inserts his fingers into me. The electricity flowing through us I feel like I should be lit up like a Christmas tree! He rolls his thumb over my clit and my whole body convulses. He releases my nipple and grabs my wrists. He pulls the round behind me and ties them together with the rope from a soap on a rope, I raise my eyebrow at him. He growls back possessively before living me gently and slamming me down on his waiting penis. I grind my hips against enjoying the friction. The water sloshes about around us. He lifts and drops me moving me by my thighs, I can feel my body tingling, I'm nearly there, I can feel my orgasm, the waves of pleasure cascade over me, my body concludes over and over and over again. I can feel him come to, I milk him for every last drop. I collapse into his arms resting my head on his chest. We lie there content and happy for a few minutes before it dawns on me when we are there.  
"Could you untie me? I think I'm meant to be getting clean Mr Grey and your distracting me!"  
"We are just getting started baby" he growls "you are mine, only mine Anastasia." He purrs in my ear. "I'm gonna fuck you till your sore baby. I want your juices spurting out of you Ana. I want to take you to heaven then fuck you all the way back down" I moan.  
"I am yours baby. Take me any way you want me."  
He lifts me to standing and stands up too. We step out together onto the waiting bath mat. He pulls the plug and leads me over to the shower, I'm gonna be wrinklier than a prune at this rate!  
"Lets get you washed Anastasia then I think you've been naughty"  
"Yes sir, I've been really, really wicked."  
He prowls towards me washcloth in hand and he turns on the shower. He soaps me up all over and rinses me clean, then he lathers up my hair massaging my scalp. His hands pus into my head. I fall to my knees as he rubs my head. I look up at him, he's lost in his own world. I know one way to bring him back to the here and now. I grab his cock and suck it gently, I hear him gasp. I massage the tip with my undulating tongue before sliding along its length, taking the whole of him in my mouth feeling every bump and and throbbing vein. I slide up and down his impressive length slowly taking my time. I can feel the water cascading down over my head, I can feel him struggling to hold on as he rinses my hair. He drops the shower head, I don't know if it was intentional or not but it lands between my thighs spraying my clit. My body shudders as the water pressure rises suddenly. I hold on to his arse and quicken my pace. I hear him let out a primal growl as he comes hard and fast in my mouth. I go to stand but he pins me down. I can feel myself building again, I look up at him and the water goes off, leaving me on the brink.  
"You are a very, very naughty girl. I think you need a spanking" oh God, I'm practically drooling!  
He grabs two towels off the rail and wraps one round himself before wrapping me up in one. He pats and strokes me dry, setting every nerve ending on fire.  
"Bed! Now!" Oh God I think tonight is gonna be the best night of my life!

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**So back to the kinkyness I will deal with Christian's on going issues, and they will rear their ugly head again, I'm not sweeping it under the carpet I promise! Leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**CarrieJ x**


	28. A Nightmare Before Dawn

**A/N Fifty shades belongs to E.L. James this story is mine!**

**A bit a carry on from the last chapter. I'll admit I've been struggling to write so this is a bit of a filler chapter Sorry! I wanted a bit more kink before the major angst of the showdown. **

**Hope you like it and than you to my Facebook friends (Carriej fanfic) and my lovely Twitter followers (carriej56 fanfic) Feel free to add me. As always**

** Enjoy...**

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I run into the bedroom and sit on the bed.

"Who said you could sit?" He growls almost menacingly.

"Sorry sir" I murmur as I stand up.

"Bend over Anastasia, and hold your ankles" I do as I'm told. I feel Christian's hands on my hips as he pushes my legs apart. I feel him thrust into me urgently, hungrily I push back, I nearly topple over. He holds my hips and pulls me upright pushing me towards the nearest wall. My forehead rests on the cool white wall as he grips my hair with one hand and fondles my clitoris with the other. He keeps up a steady pace infill I reach round and squeeze his bollocks.

"Do you like that baby?" I whisper in his ear. His groan is enough to let me know he's close. He speeds up to a frantic pace slamming into me again and again. I feel his whole body shudder as he calls my name like a prayer to the heavens.

Gone is dominant Christian, in his place slumped on the floor is a broken man.

"Why me?" He says pulling me down onto his knee

"I don't know baby." I pull his head to my chest and hold him, he doesn't cry. He sits and slowly calms.

"I need to talk to Mia. I need you to come with me." He stares into my eyes, I know he needs answers but...

"I really don't think that's a good idea, my temper may get the better of me again and I might not have the restraint to just hit her once." I try to pull away and stand up.

"Don't leave me Ana. Please don't leave me." He holds me tighter, God this guy coulda been a boa constrictor in a past life!

"Your gonna break my ribs!" His grip loosens but he doesn't let go. "I need to go for a pee and you ain't coming honey!" I smile at him, he gives a small uncomfortable smile back and let's me go. "I suggest we get some sleep if we have to go see, well, her, in the morning."

"Yeah I suppose" he rises from the floor only to plop himself on the bed, a small improvement, I quickly go per and check myself over in the mirror, My hair looks like I've been shagged through a hedge backwards! Bugger, I'll need another shower in the morning... maybe Christian will liven it up for me!

I go back into the bedroom to find him fast asleep. I pull the duvet up over him and go to get a cup of tea to mull over my thoughts. I slip on one of his t-shirts and his dressing gown and owner out to the kitchen. I make a pot of tea and sit staring out at the Seattle skyline. Wow these last few months have been a hell of a whirlwind! I barely know this guy but something tells me he's the one. My life is one gigantic void when he's not here and I'll kill anyone that gets to hurt him. He's weak just now and I will be his strength. I'll be the wind beneath his wings, oh hang on that's a Bette Middler song! I jump when I notice someone else is in the room. I look over and see the warm face of Gail.

"Ana! I'm so glad your back!"

"So am I Gail! I should never have left! Sorry if I woke you, I thought I was being quiet."

"You didn't wake me, I just like a warm milk before bed and there was no milk in the fridge upstairs so I saw a light on and came down, I did expect to see Mr Grey though!" She giggles.

"You can join me if you like?"

"Erm... No I've got to get back to Jason, he'll be wondering where I am" she gives me a conspirational wink. Oh, yeah Taylor! I forgot the two of them are a couple they really know how to do discreet, only once have I caught them kissing and even at that they were so embarrassed you'd have thought they had been taking part in an orgy on the living room rug! She practically sprints up the stairs, it's so cute!

I finish my tea quietly, wondering what the morning will bring. I'm rinsing my cup and the little pot in the sink when I hear screaming. Taylor comes running down the stairs flipping every light on in the apartment. I look around an see nothing. I notice that he doesn't have his gun, that's a bit weird. He looks at me and nods towards the bedroom door.

"Is there someone in there?"

"No ma'am only Mr Grey"

Fuck! It's him screaming! I push open the door Taylor follows behind me. I wonder why he's here? I nudge Christian to try to waken him. His hands reach out and he grabs me he pins me to the bed one hand round my throat and one hand pinning my arms above my head.

"Christian!" I scream as loudly as I can. Taylor is pulling him off me, his hand is still tightly clamped around my neck slowly cutting of my air supply. My head is beginning to swim from the lack of oxygen but I remember something dad said to me when I moved to Glasgow. I pull my knees up to try to get him in the groin but that doesn't work so I use all the strength I have left to push hard against him with my feet, that combined with Taylor's pushing is enough to let me escape. I roll off the bed and hide, gasping for breath. I see a third set of feet walk into the room and hear a loud splash.

"Huh? What the fuck? Taylor? Gail? Why are you in my bedroom? Why am I drenched and where is ANA?" He sounds mad as hell!

I roll out from under the bed still feeling pretty woozy. Gail helps me up and looks over my injuries.

"Jason I think we need Doctor Trevelyn over and Dr Flynn" Christian looks at the three of us like we are mad.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?"

"Y..You...att..ack..ed...me" I rasp out still struggling with my breathing.

"You had one of your dreams again Mr Grey" Taylor explains. The colour drains from his face.

"Oh God Ana, I'm so sorry!" He reaches out for me, and even though I know he wouldn't attack me when he's conscious, I flinch and move away. He pulls his hand back. He jumps off the bed grabs some clean stuff out of the drawers and goes to the bathroom to change. Gail helps me through to the lounge and I sit on the couch.

"Take deep breaths Ana, Dr Trevelyn will be here soon" she gently strokes my arm.

"I'm fine Gail" I sound horse and wheezy. Christian appears looking like a deer in the headlights. He catches my eye and I can see how sorry he is. "I'm okay" I cough out. He hesitantly comes over and sits at the side of me. I take his hand and he drapes his other arm over my shoulder.

"Christian? Ana? Is everything okay?" Grace calls as she steps out the lift.

"In here mom"

She comes running into the room. She looks at me then at him. He retreats to the other side of the couch letting go of me, I can feel the shame radiating off him.

"Nightmare?"

"Yes"

"Did you take the medication?"

"No"

"Really Christian! I thought you would at least manage to follow one simple instruction" she has her stethoscope out and is listening to my chest from different angles. "Okay honey your breathing is a bit laboured and I'd prefer you to get checked at the hospital."

"Really Dr Trevelyn I'm fine. I just want some sleep and I'll be okay in the morning"

"Grace, please Ana! You will have a lot of bruising around your neck, If you won't go to hospital then I'd prefer to stay with you, you can either come to Bellevue or I'll stay here"

"I'm really okay Grace. If I feel worse I'll call an ambulance."

"No, I'm staying. Mrs Jones could you help Ana to the nearest room, I will be in the one next to it. I'll check on you in a minute Ana I just need a chat with my son first."

I flash Christian my it'll be okay smile and leave with Mrs Jones. She takes me up to the room Kate and Elliot occupied last time I was here.I climb into bed.

"How long has he been having nightmares Gail?"

"Ever since you left Ana." She looks at me sadly before leaving the room. Grace is in five minutes later to check on me, I pretend I'm asleep so she listens to my chest takes my pulse and leaves.

It's a long night and I cough and rasp my way through it. Just as the light starts to peak through my window, I feel sleep finally take me.

When I awaken I'm aware I'm being watched. I sit up slowly, last night seems like a horrible nightmare, but judging from the fact I'm in a guest room and the look on his face I know it wasn't.

"I'm sorry Ana! I didn't mean to..."

"For God's sake I'm fine! How many times do I need to say it!"

"But the bruises... Christ Ana I nearly fucking killed you!" He runs his hand through his hair for about the millionth time, judging from its fuckedupedness. I roll my eyes at him.

"But you didn't, that's all that matters" I stroll over to him and sit on his lap.

"But I could have, I, I thought you were her, I wanted to kill her"

"Who? Maria?"

"No. Mia" he hangs his head.

"Oh, I understand now why you want to talk to her."

"I'm waiting till you can come too baby. I need you to stop me."

"I don't think I'm the best person for that job! Wouldn't you be better with Taylor?"

"Maybe, but I want you" he burys his head in my hair and takes a sniff. I run my hands through his hair and gently pull him back placing a gentle kiss on his forehead foreheads leans back and presses his lips to mine. I push back hard against him, he groans and I know how to erase last night's horrible nightmare. I slide off his lap and unbuckle his belt pop his button and tug his trousers down. When they are pooled at his ankles I remove his boxer shorts. His erection is waiting for me. I lick it up and down, taking each of his balls in my mouth, he groans as I pop them out and give him a deep kiss. I drop my head back into his lap and suck him, lowering my mouth round him, stroking him with my tongue. I move up and down around him, licking and flicking the head. I roll it round my mouth, his hips move pumping up into my mouth, I look up at him. His eyes are shut and his head is back. I bring him quickly to his orgasm. I suck up every drop and lick him clean. I stand over him and he rises he pulls me over to the bed and lays me down. He slowly peels off my clothes exposing my naked flesh. He strokes his hand from my cheek, down my neck, over my breasts across my tummy before he rests it in my pubic hair. His fingers swirl around grazing my clitoris before he trusts them hard into me.

"Always so wet and ready for me"

"Yes baby, I love you, in every way"

"How do you feel about vaginal fisting Ana?"

"I haven given it much thought, in fact I've never thought about it"

"It temporarily loosens your vagina so that the sex feels different. I'd really like to try it with you as your always soaking wet baby and I want to bury my whole body in you"

Fuck, I can feel myself getting wetter with his words!

"Okay let's try it" my body convulses with anticipation.

"Safe word if you need to"

"Hmmmmmmmmm..."

I feel his fingers gently pushing and stretching me,

"That's three baby" okay maybe I don't need the running commentary but fuck this feels good! I feel the fourth one slip in before he tells me that it's there. He thrusts in and out, stretching me to the point where I feel like I could burst.

"Five" his ragged breathing gives away his excitement about what he's doing. It's only just not painful and the sensation is one of fullness and excitement mixed with adrenaline from the fact that this feels forbidden. My heart is pounding and I can feel my insides quivering as all the unfamiliar feelings build, to a near crescendo.

"I'm fucking coming baby" I feel my insides clamping around his fist.

"Fuck Ana!" I can feel myself coming back down only for him to move and set me spiraling into another body shattering orgasm.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!" I scream as my body is pushed to the limits of the amount of pleasure I can withstand.

He pulls his fist out and slams his penis into me. He groans loudly

"Jesus Ana you feel so different, it's like I'm fucking a different woman! Your looser in some places and extra tight at the top, oh baby, this is fucking amazing!"

He grips my hips and thrusts hard pumping me and him to reach a quick climax and again I feel like I'm gonna pass out from pleasure overload! He rolls off me panting heavily.

"I love you baby"

"I love you too baby"

We lie in silence until we regain control of ourselves. I roll onto my side and he rolls up to face me.

"So are you ready to see her"

"Honestly?" I nod at him "no I don't think I ever will be."

"Well you gotta bite the bullet sometime!"

"I know. We'll get you some lunch then go"

"Lunch?"

"Yeah it's one thirty I let you sleep."

"Okay. I'll get dressed then eat and we will go exorcise some demons"

His face looks grim but he nods. He stands up gesturing to a neat pile of clothes on top of the drawers

"I got you some clothes"

"Thanks" I go to get up but he stops me.

"Ana I need you to promise me something"

"What?"

"That if I ever hurt you again you will run away and never look back"

"I can't promise you that baby" I stroke his cheek "you'll never hurt me again, not after today. Once Mia is dealt with we will be fine"

He nods before he leaves the room. I sit for a minute before getting up and jumping in the shower. I scrub my hair and give my body a good clean, God my man can work me up into a sweat! I dry off and survey my body in the mirror. The bruises around my neck are horrific I have smaller bruises on my wrists I look like I've been attacked by a gang not held down by my boyfriend! I slap some foundation on them and cover them as best I can I rush to get dressed into the clean clothes. OMG he's got me jeans?! I'm thrilled cute white skinny jeans and a teal strappy top. A long gray waterfall cardigan completes today's look. I pull on my socks and find he's got me a pair of funky converse that look like they have graffiti on them. I straighten myself and head down to have lunch. It's a silent affair given I'm the only one eating! I finish quickly and he disappears for a minute before bringing trough my pink coat and his own coat.

"Ready?" I ask

"As I'll ever be"

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**Hope you liked it leave me a review and stimulate my muse if you can! **

**Thanks for reading**

**CarrieJ x**


	29. The Showdown

We stand in the lift quietly. Taylor stands in front of us and I'm reassured by his presence. I really got to know him on our road trip to he'll and I could tell that he wanted to rip Christian limb from limb last night. I feel like I owe him a thank you but now is not the time. I can feel the anxiety bristling off Christian and I know it won't take much to set him off. I suddenly feel like the weight of the world has been dropped on my shoulders. I have to keep my feelings in check and his, one woman should not have all this put on her!  
The lift comes to a halt and the doors glide open. Taylor does his security checks before we walk to the large black Audi. He opens the back door for Christian and I to slide in. I get in first and the two have a hushed chat outside the door. It really bugs me when they do shit like that, playing the whole feeble woman wouldn't be able to handle 'man's' business shit! I think I've more than proved that I can!  
"What was all that about?" I ask the minute he slides in beside me.  
"I asked Taylor to wait outside the door and only come in if he hears anything that would imply he's needed"  
"You mean he's outside till I shout him, don't you?" His lips perk up into a half smile,  
"Possibly baby" I reach out and stroke his face feeling the tension in his jaw reduce with my touch.  
"Stop grinding your pearly whites baby, you'll give yourself a headache!" He removes my hand and places it gently in his.  
"My teeth will be fine, once today is over and we can move on" he turns his head away and stares out the window. I notice we are not heading for Mia's apartment, but towards Bellevue.  
"We are going to your parents house? My mother is there Christian!"  
"She's out for the day with my mom. It's just gonna be me, you, dad, Elliot, Kate, Taylor, Sawyer, Ethan and Mia."  
"Just?" The sarcasm drips from my statement like acid. He shoots me the 'don't fucking start Ana' look and I bite my lip to stop myself from setting my own personal ticking time bomb off!  
The trip seems to take forever, something I'm happy and sad about, one one hand I could live without today ever happening and on the other he needs this and I wish it was over already so that we could just move on with our lives! I have little interest in hearing Mia's side of things she has never endeared herself to me in fact she has gone completely out of her way to be a bitch and try to split us up! I suppose my small curious side, or as my mum calls it my nosey Parker complex really wants to know how a twenty year old woman decides to betray her whole family in favour of some blood sibling she barely knew?  
I really shouldn't daydream time flies past when I do! I don't notice we have stopped let alone Taylor holding the door open until I get a prod in the ribs from Christian, ooops!  
"When we get home can I have a go?" He growls in my ear  
"Huh?"  
"On that lip, you've been chewing it the whole way here and that is one hell of a distracting sight" he motions discreetly towards his bulging erection.  
"I dunno, you might need to restrain me from getting to your first" I flirt back. The colour drains out his face,  
"No Ana, no restraining, I'm not ready for that yet."  
"Shit, sorry, I didn't think..." I break off as I see a face peering out of the window, if I had a sniper gun, or any gun in fact I'm pretty sure I wouldn't miss her.  
"Calm down Ana, one of you unstable is enough" Taylor whispers in my direction. Christian is entranced by Mia's face, it's like they are suspending reality, pretending that nothing has happened. I see him go to wave and have to interject.  
"Christian? Are we going in now?" He snaps out of his trance and fucking furious is back with a vengeance! He storms up to the front door and throws it open almost knocking poor Carrick off his feet. He regains his composure quickly and pretends like nothing happened.  
"Christian, Ana, lovely to see you!" He hugs us both like he hasn't seen us in years. Christian clinches and pushes him away, I accept his hug and he makes use of the opportunity to whisper  
"I hope he has come for answers not a fight" I can tell he wants to add 'unlike you' onto the end of that but he doesn't. I nod gently as he moves away.  
"Where is she?" He growls at his father.  
"Now Christian, we are doing this civilly we will sit around the table in the dining room. Where will Taylor be positioned?" Carrick replies in a gentle tone, that implies he has been on the receiving end of Christian's temper before.  
"Outside the door. This is private." He replies in a clipped tone.  
"Sawyer will be beside Mia at her request, are you sure you don't want Taylor in the room?" I can see the rage on his face at the implication of him physically hurting his sister, but hell even I'm unsure how he'll react!  
"I've got Ana" he looks down at me with a strange look of pride. I give a reassuring smile in reply.  
"Okay then, follow me." Carrick leads the way along the hall to the dining room. I grab hold of Christian's hand and give it a squeeze. We stop at a set of mahogany double doors with antique brass handles. I shake off my building sense of foreboding. Taylor positions himself by the door.  
"Sir I would like to do a security check first"  
Christian gives him a small nod and Taylor enters the room in front of us. Carrick goes in next, I follow behind and sit down across from her, I notice her eye is still swollen and bruised I can't help but smile.  
"Christian, we are waiting son" Carrick shouts. I look round at him and his eyes lock onto mine, he walks towards me and sits in the vacant seat beside me. I take his hand in mine and smile at him, he still looks like he's going to explode but I know he's calm enough for now.  
"Okay, I'm here to be your adjudicator and stop things getting out of control. I know that tempers will flare up but violence will not be tolerated in my home" he looks directly at me as he speaks. Great I'm the bolshy Scottish hot head with a temper to match!  
"Why Mia?" He says in a desperate voice. She drops her head and says nothing. "Dammit Mia! I want to know why? Do you not think you at least owe me that?" He slams his hand on the table. Mia lifts her head and takes a deep breath.  
"I SAID LET ME IN TAYLOR!" The door swings open and in barges Elliot "it seems you forgot my invitation to the pow wow. What am I meant to be upstairs shagging my fiancee instead of finding out why my wee sister broke my family?"  
"Christian, Mia, do either of you have a problem with Elliot being here?"  
"No"  
"Whatever, like I get a choice anyway"  
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"  
"Like I want to be here! You all hate me, she" she stretches over and points at me "assaulted me in my own home! I'd rather be anywhere else than here right now"  
"Yeah well so would I Mia! Does it make you feel warm inside to know you have ruined my life? I'm not the same man I was before, and I don't think I'll ever be him again. The ONLY reason I'm here today alive and well is because of Ana she saved me!"  
"How do you think she knew where you were? I told her!"  
"Only because you had to"  
"I didn't HAVE to do anything! In fact it everything was against me telling her. Jack knew where I was at all times, he had his goons following me. My phone had taps on it, he had taps on everyone's phones. I swear I didn't know Maria was alive, I would have told you, I love you your my big brother."  
"Maybe you should have acted like I was your brother then!" She drops her head and sobs.  
"Dad tell him, please!" She begs.  
"No Mia you need to do this your brother deserves to hear it from you"  
"I am, sorry, was pregnant." The silence is deafening.  
"What?" Oh God, it hits me like a ton of bricks I turn my head away and fortunately Carrick sees I've turned green and hands me a bucket. I proceed to vomit until my stomach is empty, I look up at Mia again, with fresh eyes. I feel sorry for her. I have no doubt that we were caught in the crossfire of this horrific incident.  
"So?" Christian and Elliot look at me, they haven't got it. Mia looks like she could use my bucket. She takes a deep breath  
"He raped me. If I didn't go willingly he would take me by force. I was only willing once and once we were finished he told me he was my brother, then he told me that he wanted to see me again.I didn't realise he would expect sex every time. I didn't know he was recording it at the time. I was so relieved when you called and said he was in jail. I thought my nightmare was over. I was free, or so I thought. The phone calls started coming as soon as he was in prison. He wanted me to visit him but I refused. Somehow he found out that I was in Scotland he went mental. The phone calls multiplied then the messages started and he sent me videos of us together and some of me with Maria that had been made to look like we were sleeping together. He kept saying if I didn't meet up with him him that he would get Ana. I knew how serious you two were and how good your security is I knew you wouldn't leave her unprotected. That and I didn't think he was serious. He called me the night that Elliot and Kate got engaged. He said I had to split you up up because Ana was his. He was on the phone listening the whole time time so I had to make it seem real. I'm sorry" she saggs down down as if she's empty. We all sit in stunned silence, until Christian raises his head.  
"You said you were pregnant"  
"I was"  
"So what happened?"  
"I gave her away"  
"You had his baby? Seriously Mia? Do you expect me to believe any of this?" She pulls something out her pocket and slides it across the table to him. It's a picture of a baby in a frilly pink dress, in Mia's weary looking arms.  
"He said he'd hurt her if you were found. How do I make that choice? My child, that's small and defenceless or you, big bad Christian Grey and all his hired help? You have security coming out of your every orifice I didn't think he'd get within a hundred yards of you! I had to keep her safe."  
I see Elliot and Christian exchanging glances before Elliot speaks.  
"Where is she now?"  
"Dad and mom took her somewhere, a loving home where she would be safe"  
"I'll try again then. Dad where is Mia's baby?"  
"Safe"  
"She's a Grey and should be with her mother" Christian says quietly, still contemplating all that's been said.  
"I can't look after a baby! I don't want her, she's better off with someone else!" Mia shouts as if she's trying to herself as well as everyone else round the table.  
"You will get your daughter back and you will raise her, you owe me that. You know that not all adoptions go like ours, she deserves better, she deserves you"  
"Don't you dare try to dictate how my life will go Christian! I DO NOT WANT MY BABY! She is only here because I was raped do you think I want a permanent reminder of that? If that wasn't bad enough she looks like Jack, that sneering face, she is the ugliest child I've ever seen and maybe I should have let him have her instead of you!"  
"Mia Grey, I never want to hear you talk like that again!" Carrick admonishes.  
"Don't pretend you care Carrick! It wouldn't surprise me if you and Grace replace me with her"  
"Shut the fuck up Mia." Oh shit the monster beside me has awoken. "You always were ungrateful, from the minute you arrived you have been stubborn and downright rude to mom and dad. I don't believe your little story Mia! Hyde wouldn't be interested in a baby he was all about Maria." I can see the lightbulb ping on above his head "You chased him! You wanted him! He didn't want you, he wanted Maria, that's why he hated me so much! I was with her. You did fuck her didn't you?" She says nothing He slams his fist down on the table "DIDN'T YOU?" She looks up with a gleeful smile, that is so creepy it's unreal.  
"Yes, big brother. I ducked your girl over and over and over again, till she screamed. I was better than you at everything! Jack wanted to carry on our blood line so he was fucking us both, trying to get us pregnant." She sneers at him goading him to hit her. "I organised her death scene, it was impressive wasn't it! She couldn't hide her pregnancy from you anymore so she had to disappear, the wilds of Scotland are a great place to hide. Oh and her baby might be yours"  
"You are one sick twisted little bitch aren't you? I had you pegged right from the start!" I seethe.  
"I told Jack about you and Kate, I even set up Ethan. Christian doesn't deserve to be happy. I wanted to break him and his whole world and, look, I did" she says innocently, throwing her head back and laughing hysterically.  
"Mia!" Carrick looks physically shaken. He lets out a loud groan and slumps over off his chair.  
"Taylor!" He bursts into the room  
"I need my mom and an ambulance. And call Flynn. Mia is mentally disturbed and needs sectioned."  
Taylor and Sawyer spring into action. Elliot and Christian stand Carrick up off the chair and carry him out the room I go to follow when I'm stopped in my tracks  
"He'll want his baby you know! Maria was the love of his life and he will want that child, more than he wants you Ana. Oh and do you know something, I watched you and him together having sex, your not a patch on my sister. You are a dirty skank Ana. I wish they had killed him, that was the plan. I was following you. You were meant to watch as he died, two broken people for the price of one. I hate you. I wish you were dead, both of you, then I'd have Jack and Maria back again. Jack adored Scarlett. He watched me give birth, he held my hand. He named our child. He was soft and gentle, you are lying bitch, he never touched you"  
"Go to hell Mia!" I turn on my heel and run after the boys leaving Taylor and Sawyer with Mia.  
They are in the lounge with the paramedics, they are giving Carrick medication and loading him onto a stretcher. Kate and Ethan come rushing in.  
"What the hell happened?" Kate asks.  
"He's had a heart attack" Elliot snaps.  
"Shit!"  
"How's Mia?" The Grey brothers turn and stare at Ethan. You know the phrase if looks could kill, well Ethan would have been hung drawn and quartered with that look!  
"On her way to a psychiatric hospital, hopefully never to return!" Elliot quips.  
I notice Flynn striding up the hall with Taylor. Mia is following behind, being 'helped' by Sawyer. The paramedics are carrying the stretcher to the ambulance. We follow.  
"Hope he dies, couldn't happen to a nicer man!" Mia hollers from the back of a darkened vehicle. I see Flynn inject her with something and her slump over. I notice Sawyer is in the car too.  
Flynn gives me a nod as the door closes.  
Taylor pulls around and Kate, Elliot, Ethan, Christian and I jump in. My mobile is ringing. I pull it out my pocket my mum's picture is flashing on the display.  
"Hi mum"  
"Ana, what's going on?"  
"Are you with Grace?"  
"Yes. She bundled us in the car and is driving like a looney!"  
"Carrick has had a heart attack"  
"Oh right so I guess I'm left holding the baby!"  
"Don't be so dramatic mum!"  
"No really honey. Grace has just run into the hospital and left me with her, do I feed her or what?"  
"What are you talking about mum?"  
"Scarlett"  
"Who is Scarlett?"  
"Mia's baby" I nearly drop the phone.  
"I'm coming mum, sit tight I'll be there in two minutes."  
"Okay honey see you soon bye"  
"Bye"  
How the hell do I put this to them?  
"Christian we have a problem."  
"What is it Ana?" He looks really worried  
"My mum is sitting in your mum's car"  
"We will get her then no biggie baby, you had me worried there"  
"Scarlett is with her"  
"Who's Scarlett?"  
"Mia's baby"  
There is a sharp intake of breath and all eyes are on Ethan.  
"I didn't know." He looks scared "honestly, I didn't"  
"Fuck"

* * *

**Ok so I've started a blog for my story **

**a chance encounter 0 . blogspot . com **

**The chapters will go on there first and please follow me there. I'm considering writing something new using a similar premise but all my own characters. I dunno if my writing is good enough for that tho and if I do it will be exclusive on my blog.**

**Thanks for reading. let me know what you think in a review**

** CarrieJ x**


	30. Fragile and Frail

**A/N After a lot of debate I made a major decision about this chapter, thanks to my girls at FSOG Fanfiction for their help! Anyway as always**

** Enjoy...**

* * *

It doesn't take me long to locate mum in the car park, she's the only one flapping about with a screaming child in her arms!

"Thank God your here! She won't stop screaming!" Mum thrusts the little pink bundle into my arms. I look down at her, she's surprisingly cute considering her possible parentage. She has a face like a porcelain doll, a pale creamy complexion and big green eyes. She has soft curly blonde hair. She lies in my my arms and stares up at me, still whimpering.

"Shush, shush, little one." I gently rock her as I speak. "Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, down will come baby, cradle and all." I sing as I rock and her eyes flutter closed on the last line.

"There!" Mum sounds triumphant. I look round at her and she's standing beside a pram. " I watched Grace struggle for ten minutes trying to put that together, and I did it in two!" I glower at her, she is so proud of herself she ignores me. She wheels the pram over to me. I give it a couple of bounces to make sure it's steady before gently placing Scarlett inside.

"Does she have a blanket and stuff, you know, nappies and bottles?"

"Of course she does" she pulls a big pink frilly bag, that matches the pram from the backseat and attaches it to the handle of the pram. I walk to the drivers door and pull the keys out the ignition and lock the car.

We walk quickly towards the hospital entrance mum making me push the pram.

"Oh it'll not be long till I'm a nana will it honey? Your a natural, you get that from me you know, I'd have had lots of kids you know, if I could have... I can't complain though if only I'd been younger when I'd met your father..." Oh God not this again

"I know mum, I know. We need to find Grace just now, and Carrick. I hope he's okay"

"I'll go to the desk and ask you keep the baby quiet, will you?"

"Okay mum" I stand shuffling the pram backwards and forwards, making phishing sounds at the sleeping infant. People stop and look in the pram and tell me how lovely she is. I politely smile it's none of their business to know anything about her so I stay quiet and wait for mum. After what feels like forever she comes over and leads me through the corridors. Coronary Care Unit is emblazoned on the door.

"Ana! Over here" Elliot calls loud enough that I think the whole world heard him.

"Well done you woke the bloody baby" I snip at him. Scarlett lets out a loud wail.

I wheel the pram into the waiting room, change her nappy nappy she screams and and then I gently lift her into my arms and feed her. She quietens down as soon as the teat is in her mouth. I rock her gently and hum to her as she feeds. When she's done I lift her onto my shoulder to wind her. I rub her tiny back until she winds. I settle her back in my arms and rock her to sleep, when her eyes close I place her back into the pram. I suddenly notice the silence in the room and look up to see five pairs of eyes staring at me.

"What?"

"You are amazing, how'd you know what it wanted?"

"Scarlett is a baby Elliot! Babies do three things, eat, sleep and poop! It's not rocket science"

"Don't touch it again!" He growls from the corner, his gray eyes hard and cold like granite. I visibly shudder.

"So we let it cry next time then bro?"

"Kate can touch it"

"Christian, your being ridiculous! I'm more than capable of doing this, and mum's here. You all need to be with Carrick right now, he needs his family round him."

"Ana! Don't push me on this! Stay away from that" he points at the pram.

"Fine! I don't see why your so bothered! You don't even know for sure it's Mia's!" I move away to beside Christian. I can hear the wee one fussing in the pram. I go against my every urge and sit in my seat. "Kate, the baby is about to cry" she looks at me like I'm mad.

"Its just lying there I'm sure it's fine." Kate is not into babies, not that I am or anything, but she hates them. She has avoided any of our friends that have kids, whereas I was always asked to babysit. Kate just hasn't found her inner mothering instinct, she loves her uni course, (she went for the part time course to allow her to travel and see the world) and wants a career first. I did want that but now I've found Christian, well you know, I want him and all his baggage.

The fussing is getting louder, I look over at Mum but she has her head buried in a trash magazine from two years ago. Ethan has fallen asleep in the corner, so he'll not help her.

"Will someone see to the baby!" I know she is about to scream. Christian shifts uncomfortably beside me. I think the baby's fusing is distressing him.

"Fine just go and shut it up!" He says. I move over to the pram and she is wide awake and smelling foul! I change her nappy and pick her up. She settles in my arms. I go back and sit beside Christian, he looks at me like I've got the bubonic plague. I ignore him and sit down. Christian lays is head on my shoulder as he takes a look at the baby in my arms. Scarlett looks up at him her eyes taking in everything. He sighs

"How could someone so poisonous create something so beautiful." He whispers to me.

"Mia said Maria had a baby Christian. She said it might be yours. I didn't know whether to tell you or not but you have a right to know." He looks at me contemplating what I've just said before jumping out his seat and stalking off out the room.

"Taylor is looking into it but I'm almost certain it isn't true. I was always careful and she was on the pill I watched her take it every day I was with her!" His phone rings and he rushes out the room again. He's back a few minutes later with Grace.

"He's stable" she says before collapsing into a chair.

"Will he be okay mom?"

"He's away having angioplasty, to break the clots and widen his arteries and possibly have stents placed." She looks like she has aged ten years in ten minutes.

Mum moves over beside her and gives her a hug.

"Where's Scarlett?" She asks panicked.

"I've got her." She looks at the sleeping infant in my arms

"She's asleep?"

"Yeah she's been as good as gold" I move to hand her back to Grace. She holds her close to her chest and breathes in her smell. I move back to beside Christian and she begins to fuss. Grace tries to calm her but she squawks louder. She puts her in the pram to change her nappy, but it doesn't work. She settles her in her arms with a bottle of milk and she refuses to take it screaming louder. Grace is almost in tears.

"Ana! Go and take the baby" he practically shouts at me. I sit looking at him he jumps up and takes the baby from his mother then places her in my arms. She calms down a bit as I rock her. Christian thrusts the bottle into my hand, I put it in her mouth and she drinks greedily. Grace looks stunned.

"How did you do that? She screams whenever she's awake awaken haven't slept for a month! Only Mia could get her to settle!" I shrug.

"Mom is she definitely Mia's baby?"

"I think so son. She just walked in with her one day and handed her to me. She said she'd had a baby and she wanted to put her up for adoption. I took one look and couldn't let her go, we have been trying to convince Mia to let us keep her ever since but she wants her in a foreign adoption scheme so that she will never come looking, was how she put it. Dad has the signed paperwork but we haven't filed it, I can't seem to let her go..." She tails off.

"I want her" my head spins round and my jaw practically bounces off the floor. "I spoke to Ray and we will even move to Seattle if that's what it takes. I couldn't have anymore children after Ana Grace. I was thirty two when she was born, there were complications and I had to have a hysterectomy. I know I'm fifty three but Ray and I have been approved and waiting for a child for years. We would keep you involved as much as you want. Please promise me you'll think about it!." I can feel the tears slipping down my face, she'd always told me that she had an early menopause. I stand up and move over to mum. I place Scarlett in the pram before diving into my mother's arms.

"Mum! Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"Baby girl, I had you I never wanted you to think you weren't enough! Dad and I have been waiting for a baby for ten years now, we were told our chances were slim considering our ages..." at that moment a doctor come into the room

"Dr Trevelyn?" Grace stands, passing the baby to mum.

"Yes, how is my husband?"

"We placed two stents but he has a weakened valve, he will be with us for a while, he will need valve replacement surgery."

"When are you operating?"

"As soon as he is strong enough, his heart needs time to recover from the heart attacks and the angioplasty. We are hoping to hold off until next week, but we are prepared to do it sooner if it becomes necessary."

"Mom? What does that mean?" Elliot and Christian look scared.

"Your father is critically ill, his heart is not strong enough to withstand the surgery he needs right now so we have to start him on medication to control his blood pressure and bring down his cholesterol levels. The next forty-eight hours are critical."

"Thank you Dr James"

"He can have visitors, five minutes only though! No babies allowed on the ward, I'm sorry." He looks apologetically at Mum. Then he turns and leaves.

"I'll stay here with wee Scarlett, you should all go and see Carrick, tell him I said hi."

"I'll stay here with Carla and Scarlett too." Ethan looks at the floor. There is something odd going on with him, I just can't put my finger on it.

Christian grabs my hand and we follow Grace out the door, mum nods at me letting me know she'll be fine I smile back at her. Elliot and Kate are behind us, they have been acting weird too, sitting huddled in a corner with Ethan since we arrived... I must slip into that weird 'the lights are on but nobody's home' mind set as I walk straight into a door frame frame and end up in Christian's arms just before I hit the deck!

"We really should stop meeting like this Miss Steele!" He smiles at me. I reach up and use his muscular chest to lean on to get up before I wrap my arms around his neck and place a soft gentle kiss on his lips.

"Thank you for saving me Mr Grey."

"Come on your holding up the queue" Kate mutters. Christian strides up to the wall dispenser and covers his hands in the slimy gel, I'm next even though my hands are clean from me washing myself you after touching the baby. Kate goes next then Elliot. We are all handed yellow gowns to cover our clothing.

We file into the room. It's dominated by monitors all round a huge bed. Carrick looks small and frail, hooked up to all these machines. His normally handsome, for an older guy, face is obscured by an oxygen mask his skin is a pale shade of gray and his normally sparkling eyes seem dull and lifeless. He has drips in both arms pouring stuff into his veins. Grace steps up beside him and takes his hand.

"I thought I'd lost you darling" she whispers. They stare deeply into each other's eyes.

"Never" he croaks out. Graces tears spill over her eyelids and down her cheeks.

I feel like I'm intruding on a really intimate moment. I look over at Kate and catch her eye, I can tell she feels the same. I can't help but turn back towards them.

"Hey dad" Elliot says gently stepping up to his other side, Kate shuffling up behind him awkwardly. Carrick eyes swing round to his son he gives a slight nod.

"I hope your feeling better soon Mr Grey" Kate says. Christian steps up beside his mum and places his hand on top of theirs.

"I'm sorry dad" he whispers, tears stream unchecked down his beautiful face. A nurse comes in and asks us to leave. Elliot runs out followed by Kate. Grace bends down and places a gentle kiss on his head before Christian steps back taking her arm and leading her away I go to follow but change my mind. I step up

"I'm really sorry for everything I've done."

"I need you to look after him for me Ana"

"I will, until the day I die. I love him"

He smiles. I pat his hand and step away just as I do one of the alarms sounds at the side of the bed.

"Get out now!" I'm shoved out the room as I see a bunch of doctors burst in and start CPR on Carrick. Grace Christian and I stand behind the glass partition as they fight to bring him back. Our faces all frozen in a similar look of horror. A nurse approaches us and forces us to move back into the waiting room. Elliot and Kate aren't here and mum says Ethan is away to get some coffees and teas. Mum is lying on he floor playing with the baby.

"What's wrong?"

"My dad is being resuscitated and your playing with baby toys!" He snaps

"Don't talk to her like that Christian! I know your worried about Carrick but that's my mum" I can feel my fists clenching, he better watch his step!

"Why is she even here, why are you here Ana, morbid curiosity?"

"CHRISTIAN TREVELYN GREY! Behave yourself or leave! My husband is dying through there and you want to pick a fight? Go and do it somewhere else, I don't need your drama right now!" Wow! I didn't think mild mannered Grace had it in her! I back away from him. Baby Scarlett picks up on the tension and starts to wail. Mum picks her up and places her in the pram.

"I'll take the little one for a walk to give you some peace"

"Thank you Carla" mum scoots out out with the pram.

I sit at one side of the room beside Grace grace and Christian sits sulking over the other sides.

"Dr Trevelyn I need you to sign this, we need to operate now, we can't wait."

"Bypass? And valve replacement?"

"Yes, he's being preped for bypass as we speak. His heart can't take another attack. We only just got him back"

"Fine, I want to scrub in"

"That's not a good idea!"

"I don't care, I want to be there"

"You can be in the viewing gallery, and that's all. I need to get back to Mr Grey now"

Grace follows him they talk quickly in doctor speak to each other. I look at Christian, he refuses to look at me. I pull my phone out my pocket, scroll through till I come to Kate's number. I dial her.

"Ana? What's wrong?"

"Where the fuck are you!" I pace the floor as I speak.

"Elliot doesn't like hospitals, so we are at his place" she's gone home for a shag! I can't believe her sometimes!

"Carrick has been rushed back into surgery get your backsides in here. NOW!" I order.

"Shit, we'll be there ASAP honey, love you, bye"

"Bye"

I sit down next to Christian. I reach over and take his hand and hold it in mine. Words are inconsequential right now. He needs support support and I promised Carrick that I'd look after him and I intend to keep that promise.

"Taylor will take your mum and the baby back to Bellevue. They shouldn't be here, this isn't a good environment for an infant and I might end up saying something worse to your mother"

"My mum is harder than she looks! She will know you are upset, your dad is really ill..."

He grabs me and pulls my lips quickly to his, his already raw emotions sparking carnal hunger in him. I kiss back greedily taking all he is giving me. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth, I suck on it gently making his eyes flare with unbridled desire. He pulls me onto his lap and pulls my top off, he rips my bra from my body and sucks each nipple in turn

"Oh, god!l I moan. His head snaps up.

"No baby he has nothing to do with it it's all me!"

"Shut up and don't stop again!" I chastise thrusting my now burning nipple back in his scorching mouth. His hands roam frantically over my body and fist in my hair, I've never felt him be so caught up in the moment before. He stands me up and pulls down my jeans and my knickers.

"No need for these" he puts them in his pocket after taking a long sniff. His eyes glint mischeviosly.

I know we shouldn't be doing this but, it's making him forget, for now, maybe this is the distraction he needs?

He goes me to the floor roughly before dropping his trousers and boxers. His hand circles my clit making me cry out. He thrusts in hard and fast, I can feel my back scraping over the carpet, it burns but somehow adds to my excited state. His thrusts become slower and deeper, I know he's nearly there, so am I. My body reaching up meeting him thrust for thrust until I can feel him. He is beginning to erupt inside me, my own orgasm detonates around him him I feel every ripple of pleasure coursing through my veins, burning them from the inside out, it is the most earth shattering orgasm I've had yet! He gently withdraws and hands me back my clothes we are both fully clothed and Sutton back in our seats when he breaks down.

"I need him to be okay, he was always there for me, even when I got kicked out of school, the first time I got caught trying to steal a car, after Maria, you know..."

"Yeah I know" I stroke his back with one hand and his cheek with the other. His eyes are flowing again

"I want him here for the good stuff to Ana, he needs to see our wedding, if you ever agree, he needs to see our children"

"If we have any, I'm too young just now honey"

"I know, I just want dad to be here. I need him to know I'm okay."

"Baby he knows your getting there, I'm sure it'll be okay"

"I'm not. I think my dad is gonna die! I'm not ready for that"

"Talk like this isn't helping anyone! You need to be positive baby, he will be depending on you and Elliot to be strong!" I'm just about to launch into an impassioned plea when Taylor knocks and enters.

"Sir Mrs Steele is at Bellevue. Ryan and Prescott are with her and the child."

"Thank you Taylor." He turns to leave

"Taylor?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Could you please get Mr Grey something to eat?"

"Of course ma'am"

"Thanks." He politely nods and leaves leaves the room.

Christian coories up in my arms and I feel him getting heavier. I look down at his face, the worry etched onto his brow, and see he is asleep. Now it's just a waiting game.

* * *

**Okay so I don't really know that much about heart conditions and surgeries, this is fiction tho and in my world that's how it goes! (my dad had one heart attack and stenting done) I just want to show the softer side of Mr Grey**

** Hope you liked and I can't wait to start chapter 31 there is a major twist on the way...**

**CarrieJ x**


	31. Heartbeat

I waken with a terrible pain in my neck. I blink my eyes open and see we at still in the waiting room under the fluorescent lights. I stretch out and yawn loudly. I look around Christian is hunched up on the chair next to me. Kate and Elliot are snuggled up together on the floor. I can see the remnants of last night's meal. Two bowls an insulated bag and an empty container all still smelling faintly of cheese. Mrs Jones sure can make a fab macaroni cheese! Even the garlic bread on the side it was amazing, Kate and Elliot he already eaten, thank God, I doubt I could have shared! There has been no news all night, either that or Grace is letting us sleep.

Christian stirs in his seat

"Oh! Ow! Hmm..." He yawns and stretches out. He looks like crap, his face is covered in red blotches and his eyes have big red puffy circles round them. From where he's been crying on and off throughout the night.

"Morning baby, how'd you sleep?"

"Like shit! You?"

"Same"

"What time is it? Has mom been in yet?"

"No. Not that I've seen and its six thirty"

"That nurse was in at midnight though! How can we not have heard anything for six and a half hours!"

"Shhh! You'll wake Kate and Elliot!"

"Fuck them! To busy having a quickie to be here!"

"That's a bit rich coming from you Mr Grey!" He scowls at me.

"Ana, that was... different, I needed you"

"Maybe Elliot needed Kate?" He considers my proposal for a second before dismissing it.

"No one needs anyone else the way I need you" Elliot rolls over and Kate moans.

"This is not the place for this discussion. We need to talk, later. Let's go see if we can find Grace?"

"Yeah" I see the look in his eye, the glint of, if I need you I will have you. I look away to avoid that gaze. He grabs my hand and the familiar rush of electricity sparks between us, he know he can have me right here right now, but he won't. Or at least I hope he won't!

We head head up the short corridor to the big CCU doors. We need to get to the nurses station for information. It's just inside the ward. The staff nurse buzzes the door to let us in.

"I'd like an update on my father, Carrick Grey" he announces

"He is in surgical recovery. He should be back on the ward soon", she reads to us off her computer screen. She doesn't even look up.

"Why did it take so long? We're there complications?" He asks the concern evident in his voice.

"I don't know. I can just tell you what the computer says." Still no eye contact. Oh God his hand is crushing mine, he's getting mad!

"Then can you get me someone that can tell me what is going on?" His voice sounds surprisingly calm, if I didn't know better I'd have thought he couldn't give a shit!

"I'll page Dr James, your father's consultant, he's the head of the coronary care department so it might take a while" oh now she's done it, she may as well have doused the room in petrol and lit a match.

"I'm not a patient man, I donate millions of dollars to this hospital every year, I built the new fucking wing! Have you heard of the Grey foundation?" Boom, he explodes, poor girl looks like she doesn't know what's hit her! She looks up startled and is caught by his handsome face.

"Yes, sir Mr Grey, I'll get Dr James up here now for you sir" she stumbles over her words.

"Thank you nurse?" He gives her the prize winning smile

"Bethany" she whispers, awestruck by his presence.

"Thank you nurse Bethany" he actions. He looks at me with a tight smile before he turns and we walk back towards the waiting room. Taylor is outside the door.

"Sir, could I have a moment, I have the information you requested"

"Yes?" Taylor looks at me then back at Christian "anything you have to say can be said in front of Ana"

"Yes sir, of course. The baby is definitely Miss Grey's sir, she delivered in a small country hospital, Mr Hyde was not present, however there was a man with her, we believe it was Ethan Kavanaugh. The baby is only two nearly three weeks old sir."

"Mia and Ethan? Is he the dad?" I can't help butting in. Kate will know, maybe that's why she was acting funny yesterday!

"We don't know the child's biological father." He looks at me before turning back to Christian again. "Miss Grey and Mr Hyde were biological siblings, neither of them were related to Maria sir."

"Was she pregnant Taylor? Is there a child out there that could be mine?"

"No sir. She was pregnant but saw a Dr Green for a termination two days before the crash"

"Thank you Taylor" he breathes a sigh of relief that one of his issues is over, now he can put all his focus on Carrick!

We walk back into the waiting room. Elliot is awake but Kate is sound still, she is draped over him like a blanket.

"Any news yet?"

"The doctor is coming to speak to us I think you and your fiancée should get yourselves dressed and presentable"

"Yeah, Kate, honey, we need to get up"

"Nooooo Eli, five more minutes"

"Katie, now!"

"Mmmm, do we have time to..."

"Morning Katherine!"

"Jesus Ana you scared the shit out of me! I was just getting dressed, could you give us a wee bit of privacy?"

"Of course, come on Christian, we'll give you five, none of your shit though Kate! Carrick' s doctor is coming up" I lead him out to the hall and place a gentle kiss on his cheek. He wraps his arms round my waist. We stand in silence before his hands suddenly drop from my body.

"Mom? Is he?" She runs into his arms and cries loudly. Oh god! The door behind me opens and Elliot's face is ashen. He wraps his arms round his younger brother and his mother. Kate and I stand back and hold each other, not quite knowing if he's alive or dead. Our men carry Grace into the room and place her on a seat.

"His heart was damaged more than they thought" she sobs "they had to replace two valves that's what took the majority of the time. They... they tried to take him off... bypass, but his heart is too weak, it won't start." She is falling apart in front of me. I can feel the tears slipping down my face. I sit down beside her and take her hand. She smiles appreciatively at me. Kate hands her a tissue and she wipes her eyes. "He's not going to die, I won't let him!"

"Mom are you sure, you said his heart won't start"

"They have pushed him to the top of the donor list and they are hoping that after some time on bypass his heart will recover enough to start again." We all look around at each other. I have no idea if what she says is right, I hope it is though!

"Mom you need rest, Taylor is here and will take you home"

"Don't be absurd! I can't leave him!" Dr James wells into the room.

"Hello" oh good god he sounds a sombre as an undertaker!

"I just wanted to see if you have any questions, I presume Dr Trevelyn has filled you in"

"Is my dad going to live?" Elliot asks

"His chances are small donor hearts don't come up often" this guy takes monotony to a whole new level!

"But mom said his heart may start again after some rest" Christian interjects.

"That is highly unlikely" oh he can talk in different tones after all, that was positively Mickey mouse levels!

"But not impossible!" Grace barks fiercely.

"It's not an option we are considering just now, Mr Grey's heart is very badly damaged, the bypass saved him for now, we are considering a new artificial heart until a donor becomes available"

"Do that then if it gives him the best chance!" Elliot cries the tears beginning to streak down his rugged cheeks.

"It's not that simple, it is still in the experimental stages, we don't know how long it would last"

"What are the statistics on it so far?" I can always count on Christian to bring it back to practicalities!

"The longest running one lasted for three months, the shortest lasted for two hours, I can't tell you what group your father would fall into, I do know that he cannot stay on bypass forever, the chances of infection are too high"

"You will keep him on bypass, I'm not letting him go!" Grace shakes as her sobbing takes over again.

"We are doing everything in our power for Mr Grey. He is in the intensive care unit. You can see him through the windows but we cannot permit you access while he is on the transplant list."

"Where is the ICU?"

"It's in the new wing on the fourth floor. It has state of the art facilities. I will be over to see him later, if you have anything further to discuss please have the nurse on call page me" he leaves the room.

"I want to go and see my dad as you coming?"

"Yeah, if you want me to"

"Come on then"

I follow him out the room we are followed by Kate and Elliot.

"Taylor would you call Sawyer or Ryan and get them to come in, I want you to take Mom home, she needs to sleep"

"Yes sir"

"Oh we will be at the ICU okay?"

"Yes sir"

We plod round in uncomfortable silence Christian and I at the front. He plods quickly, with me on his arm and Kate and Elliot lagging far behind. We approach the new wing, it's a beautiful piece of architecture. It's modern and sleek. It's very minimalistic, I wonder why Christian didn't have his treatment here? We come to the ICU department and its not like any I've ever seen! It's bright with lots of glass, there are glass walls everywhere. We walk up to the reception desk where a petite blonde nurse is sitting.

"We have come to see Carrick Grey" Christian says in a loud dominant voice, I can tell its to stop a repeat of what happened before.

"Yes of course, you'll be his sons then. Dr Trevelyn talks about you all the time" she speaks in a proper English accent.

"Can we see him please"

"Just follow me" she comes out from behind the desk "I'm Suzi I'm your father's key nurse, I'm supervising the nursing team looking after him"

"Good, make sure he gets the best of everything"

"I can assure you Mr Grey your father is in the best hands here"

We approach a room, I can see Carrick lying looking small with tubes coming from under a a sheet carrying his blood to a huge machine that looks like a giant cassette tape before returning it to his body. We all stand frozen to the spot, time drags only broken by the nurse checks, and the placing of new bags of medication on his iv poles. We sit on the chairs provided and stare for what feels like days. When Grace joins us looking a bit more refreshed I realise we have been here for the last eight hours. She sits between Christian and Kate. She picks up his hand and squeezes it

"Thank you son"

"Anytime mom"

Suddenly an alarm sounds in his room, two more nurses rush in and Suzi appears beside us.

"Could you please follow me, there is some paperwork you need to sign Mrs Grey"

"Yes of course"

"Paperwork for what?" Christian demands.

"Your father's new heart" Grace replies.

"What?" Elliot nearly chokes!

"Mr Grey is at the top of the list for his blood type, a donor heart matching your father has come up. There was a road traffic accident and the patient is brain dead but carried a donor card and we have familial consent so the heart will be retrieved and flown here, we now need to prepare Mr Grey to receive the heart." She explains.

"Where is the heart coming from?" Kate asks always interested in what goes on behind the scenes, I know she'll be a brilliant journalist!

"Portland so it won't be long. If you could all wait in here we will provide you with updates as we have them" She tries to leave but Grace catches her.

"I'd like to assist as I'm on the team" she announces. I see a flicker of annoyance cross the overly polite Suzi's face, she irks me this woman and I can't put my finger on why, maybe it's just my mood.

"You may be in the viewing room as you are aware if you were in the OR there could be a conflict of interest." She tries, Grace is having none of it

"I can assure you there won't be! I'll provide suction that's all"

"Dr Trevelyn, with all due respect, Dr James and Dr Schwartz are two of the best heart surgeons in the country! Mr Grey will be well taken care of"

"I want to be in the OR!" Grace bellows, I can see where Christian gets his first temperament from!

"Fine, talk to Dr Schwartz, it's up to him anyway!" her bleeper starts to go off "I need to go, the heart is here"

"Already? Wow!" Elliot whistles.

"Yes. I will be back shortly, Dr Trevelyn if you would follow me" she scurries off, obviously displeased, with Grace hot on her heels.

This waiting room is not that different from the last one it just has a more impressive view and nicer artwork!

"Sir" Taylor announces his way in

"Yes Taylor?"

"I have relieved Sawyer, Ryan and Prescott and a few others Welch sent over are guarding the entrances, someone has leaked your father's condition to the press."

"Fuck! Get Andrea to release a statement from Grey House and schedule a press conference for tomorrow afternoon in Grey House. Make sure none of those parasites get anywhere near here!"

"Yes sir, the hospitals security is very tight and has allowed us to monitor the cctv footage in their control room."

"Good, my family need to be kept safe."

"Yes sir. Oh sir, Mrs Jones wants to bring in some food for you, in fact she wouldn't take no for an answer, she has a guard with her and should be here shortly"

"Fine, whatever!" He barks dismissing Taylor with a wave of his hand.

"Thank you Taylor, that's very kind of Mrs Jones." I answer throwing a 'be bloody grateful' look at Christian.

"She wanted to ma'am" He shrugs as if he can't understand her motives before turning and leaving the room.

"Christian Grey, don't you dare act ungrateful! Mrs Jones is trying to keep you, well us, healthy and well fed! Do not take your mood out on your staff!" He grabs me round the waist and kisses me, releasing all his tension, turning it into passion.

"Ugh! Get a room you two!" We break the kiss our heads resting on each others foreheads. My breathing is heavy and I'm panting slightly. He takes a deep breath and separates from me, picking up my hand and leading me to some chairs facing out the window. I rest my head on his chest as we contemplate the view. There is nothing we can do other than wait and hope fate deals Carrick a good hand.

* * *

**A/N Hello sorry it's taken so long I've struggled with this one, I'm still not happy with it but hey ho, if I waited till I was happy you wouldn't get it this year! Thanks to wordrunner, your advice was so right! I know where this story will end now, but have an idea for a follow up! **

**As ever I hope you liked leave a review and if you can't follow something PM me and I'll try to explain, I hope this chapter clears up some issues outstanding.**

**CarrieJ x**


	32. Your Giving Me Fever

I swear time stops when you are in a waiting room. One minute feels like an hour, thankfully Gail brought us that meal which passed a whole half hour. Christian and Elliot take turns to pace the floor, I swear there is a track they follow, back and forth, back and forth. Suzi has only been in once, just to tell us that the organ is viable and the transplant is going ahead as planned. My mum phoned to see how Carrick is doing, I took the call in the hallway I know Christian is annoyed by her at the moment, I think it has more to to do with Scarlett than her! I tell her what I know before I slip back into the room.

We sit for another four hours before Suzi comes back in

"Your father is off bypass and his new heart is beating strongly. He is just being closed up and should be back on the ward in about an hour once his sedation has lifted. He will still be on lots of medication and his body could still reject the organ but for now it's good news"

"Thank you, will we be able to see him, you know go in the room this time?" Elliot asks

"Yes so long as you go through our sterilisation process. You will only be allowed in two at a time for five minutes maximum, with breaks in between, your father needs his rest." With that she leaves. Okay so maybe she's not so bad after all!

The relief in the room is palpable, Carrick is still alive, Elliot looks like he's won the lottery, Christian not so much, I know Elliot is an optimist but I didn't have Christian pegged as a pessimist! I think we need to talk and to get out of this room for a bit!

"Do you want to go get drink from the cafe downstairs?" He looks at me like I've grown horns

"No Ana I don't!"

"Christian! You have been cooped up in this hospital for the last, god knows how long, we haven't slept in days, we need to get out of this room!"

"I'm not leaving here until I see my dad, do not ever raise your voice to me Ana, I'm not one errant child that needs pulled into line so don't you dare treat me like one!"

"Fine, I'm going to get a drink by myself then, because if I stay here so help me I'll end up throttling you!"

"I'll come with you Ana" thank the lord for Katherine Kavanaugh!

I walk out, Kate following. I notice Prescott is following behind us.

"Ana, you need to cut him some slack babe! He's going through a lot of shit right now. Eli told me he doesn't handle this kind of thing well, his normal thing is to shut down so I suppose it's good he's shouting, I'm just sorry your bearing the brunt! If you didn't provoke him though your life would be so much easier!"

"Provoke him? What are you on about! I asked him to get a drink not fly to the other side of the planet!"

"Babe to guys like him its the same!"

"Can we just not talk about this, before my fists start talking to the walls? I don't want to punch you Kate but your seriously overstepping the line!"

"Sorry babe, I didn't mean to upset you, I, well Eli wanted me to talk to you..." at least she has the bottle to tell me, not that I hadn't already sussed it, Kate isn't a touchy feely person and sure as hell ain't one to give relationship advice.

We walk the rest of the way in silence as I calm my temper.

"One cappuccino and a decaffeinated tea please." Kate orders I go and find a small table. Prescott sits two tables away with a small bottle of water. I feel kind of sorry for her, but she getting paid a decent enough wage for sitting twiddling her thumbs!

"So how's Ethan?" I ask when she comes over with our drinks.

"He's, uh, fine, yeah, he's brilliant, he's going home next week"

"Really? I thought he would want to stay here now?"

"Why, why, would you think that?" Kate flustered is a wonderful thing!

"Because of his daughter!" I shrug and look at her, he eyes flare in surprise.

"Shit! How do you know! We don't even know yet!" I look at her bewildered.

"Huh?"

"The DNA test it's not back yet." She explains "it should be in today, not that Ethan wants her, he just wants to know"

"How the hell did your brother get with that psycho?" I ask intrigued

"Oh it's a loooooooong story! He met her up near Inverness when he was on holiday"

"When he went to Nairn? Last summer?"

"Yup! Anyway, they met and he fell hook line and sinker for her! She was coming over regularly, and he was flying out to her, they were meeting up in Portland, he didn't know about Jack, but that's how he knew about you. Ethan told Mia about us meeting an American boy in a bar, she easily found out it was Eli and that Christian as coming over too, to meet you. That's where Jack came in and you know how that mess ended! Mia knew everything that was going on but played Ethan like a fool! She told him he family would disapprove of him and that that they had to keep the relationship secret. No one knew she was pregnant. They were in a hotel when her waters broke. Ethan panicked and took her to hospital where Scarlett was born. He named her after our great grandmother." Her eyes well up and I reach across and hug her.

"Kate why didn't you tell me?"

"Eli said Christian would blow a fuse!"

"Christian knows."

"Oh my God what's he gonna do to Ethan?"

"I don't know, he's volatile at the moment!"

"Yeah, I think I've noticed! I'm not allowed to talk about that though!"

"I'll speak to him. I'll explain, maybe once we know the DNA results would be better though!"

"Thanks Ana! I promise I'll not but in again, although I am still curious about how he got his black eye"

"I'll tell you if you promise not to tell Elliot!"

"I promise"

I tell her about the egg and she can barely hold herself up from laughing.

"Oh Eli is gonna love this!"

"Kate! You promised!"

"Oh come on, I think we could all use a laugh!"

"At Christian's expense? If you want your brother tarred and feathered I'd say go for it, if not that stays between us!"

"Fine, fine!"

We reach the wiring room Taylor holds the door open for us.

"Thanks Taylor"

"Ta T"

"Miss Steel, Miss Kavanaugh" he nods shutting the door.

It takes ten seconds for me to realise he's not here.

"Where is Christian?" I cry at Elliot

"Relax Ana, he's seeing dad! Moms in too or I'd be there. He's been wearing a hole in the carpet so I let him go first" I feel the tension release from my shoulders. I slouch into a seat.

I feel a gentle prodding in my side, my eyes flutter open and I realise I'm being carried. I look up and see Christian I rest my head against his chest and sigh.

"Hey baby" he says

"Hi" I yawn back. "Where are we going?"

"To the car. Then Escala"

"How's your dad?" I ask the concern creeps in into my voice.

"He's doing great, he's awake and alert. He told me to take you home and get some sleep" he says. The difference in him, and his whole attitude attitude is amazing, I'm so glad Carrick is going to be fine.

"I love your dad! At least you listen to someone! Can we get some food?" As if on cue my stomach grumbles.

"Mrs Jones as made a paella for us" he says laughing.

"I'm glad he's okay" I say

"So am I baby." He slides me onto the back seat before climbing in behind me. It's a short ride to Escala. I feel my eyelids drooping again.

I feel the car jerk to a halt, and the door open, I force my eyes open and see Christian climbing out in front of me. I slide to the opening and propel myself out the car, catching my shoe heel on the floor mat and tumbling head first out the door.

"Ana!" His strong hands catch me.

"Sorry, I must have been more asleep than I thought!

"Baby what am I going to do with you? One of these times your gonna get seriously hurt!" He sounds concerned.

"You'll just have to trade me in for the less clumsy model!" I giggle.

"Never!" He half laughs at me, doing his best English accent. I am wondering if I left the hospital with the same man, it's like his mood has turned 180°!

He ushers me into the lift, and I take my time looking him over, he is gaunt and pale, he looks like he's not slept for a month, his clothes are crumpled and his hair is sticking up all over the place, where he's been pulling his hands through it, he has the non designer stubble going on and is pulling off the homeless man look quite well.

"It's rude to stare Ana!" He snips. Seems annoyed angry Christian has breezed back into town.

"Sorry, but you look, Erm..." I don't want to say that he looks like shit but he steps in and speaks before I can summon the words.

"Crap, Ana I look like crap, and being honest so do you" he bites

"Thanks! You know how to make a girl feel special!" I say acidicly.

"Sorry, I'm tired and hungry. Fuck Ana my dad nearly died! He still fucking might!" He shouts.

"I know! I was there, right beside you the whole time! You even fucked me in the waiting room for Christ's sake!" I scream angrily as the doors slide open to his entrance hall.

He steps out and stalks into the main room. I stand in the lift. I don't want to have any more fights. I'm tired. I move to step out but obviously someone has called the lift to a lower floor. The doors slide shut before I can stop them. I step back and wait, the lift glides down to the car park again. The doors open and Taylor is standing waiting. He sees me and looks embarrassed

"Miss Steele?" He looks surprised

"I, uh, I didn't get off in time" I explain

"Oh ok. Mr Grey?"

"He's upstairs. In a fucking mood" I mutter

Taylor chooses not to reply to my comment, probably best not to slag the boss to his girlfriend I suppose! I ride back up in silence. The doors glide open and Christian is standing there the panic evident on his face.

"Ana, I'm sorry baby" he pulls me towards him and into his embrace.

"I think we should eat then go to bed" my monotone statement isn't lost on him.

"Yes" he leads me to the breakfast bar where there are two large plates of steaming paella.

My mouth waters at the smell and I'm nearly drooling by the time I sit. We eat in silence, I shovel in as much as my stomach can hold, I even have seconds! Christian just about manages one played up before he pushes it away and abruptly stands and heads to the bedroom leaving me alone.

I'm left sitting by myself, should I follow him? Do I trust him not to try and kill me again? I decide to let my dinner settle and go and make myself comfy on the couch in the lounge. I switch on his ridiculously large TV, I swear it's the size of a cinema screen! I find he has a really good TV provider he has every season of House so I sit and watch Hugh Laurie for a few hours. I feel really groggy so I switch it off and head towards his room. I open the door and stand and watch him tossing and turning. Shouting at the world as he sleeps. I can't face sleeping with him yet, I head up to the spare room and stare out the window watching the city sleep below me. I head in to the en suite suite and have a quick shower. I sit at the small vanity table and blow dry my hair. I can't help but stare at the fading bruises around my neck. I give an involuntary shudder. I feel the goosebumps rising on my skin so I slide my naked frame between the sheets. I grab a spare pillow and snuggle into it and effortlessly drift off to sleep.

I awaken hot and sweaty in the morning. I feel the bed for his body but he's not here, there is no sigh to indicate that he has been either. I sit up and my head is spinning. I lie back down and reach for my phone, God I hate the thing but I'm assured it's essential! I punch in a quick text

GOT ANY PAINKILLERS?

I hit send. I hear him thudding up the stairs.

"Shit!"

"Do I really look that bad?"

"Yup! You need a doctor baby." He feels my forehead and shakes his head. "I think you have a fever baby"

"Oh great! Can you call my mum?"

"I'm calling a doctor first, if your I'll we won't be able to see dad until your better" oh shit!

"Oh, god, I'm sorry, I'm not that bad" I swing my legs out the bed and try to stand. I keel over, fortunately landing back on the bed. I can feel the sweat pouring off me.

"Ana! Please stay in bed. He tucks me back in. I'll call your mother too, she can come and keep you company today"

"Are you leaving me?"

"I have to go to work for a few hours today, I have a press conference and some other things to attend to. I'm sorry baby I wish I could stay"

"No go I'll be fine"

"I'll be here till the doctor comes" he kisses me lightly on the forehead before pulling out his phone and making a call. He wonders out into the hall and comes back in a few minutes later.

"So?"

"She'll be here in half an hour, and the doctor will be about ten minutes"

"Oh okay"

"Ana, why didn't you come to my bed last night?" He sounds so sad like a lost little boy.

"I nearly did. I stood and watched you for a while, you were tossing and turning and shouting, at your dad, at Mia and at me. I couldn't. I just couldn't. I'm sorry" my body shivers I'm so cold.I hang my head avoiding his gaze and pull the covers tight around me.

"Ana you don't need to be sorry." He perches on the edge of the bed beside me. "I'm the one who should apologise, since my father's collapse, probably even before I've been treating you like crap, I shouldn't have taken everything out on you. And you were right last night I did use you as a toy in the waiting room I shouldn't have pushed you into having sex, I needed a release and you were there" I glance at him and see the anguish on his face.

"I'm always gonna be there, I can't leave you" no matter how much shit he throws at me, he's my addiction.

"I hope your right Ana. I just think I'm gonna push you away one day it's gonna be too much for you." He shakes his head and I can see tears glistening in his eyes.

"For now I just need space, time to deal with our issues. I love you and that's enough for me to stay." I rest my head on his chest, the sweat pouring off me.

There is a knock at the door and Taylor comes in

"Doctor Wallace has just entered the parking lot and will be up shortly."

"Thank you Taylor. If you could walk beside me I'd be grateful" I look up confused. "I'm carrying you down to our room Ana. I will sleep here till you feel safe" I do my unsightly fish impersonation. He pushes my jaw closed and grins at me before scooping me up. I shiver uncontrollably, Taylor passes me a blanket and I wrap it round myself. I smile up at him through chattering teeth. We make our way downstairs and into his room. Taylor does not enter with us, he pulls the door shut instead. I lean my head up and whisper in his ear

"I need a pee"

"There I was thinking I was gonna get sweet nothings whispered" he laughs and takes me to the bathroom placing me gently on the throne.

"Um, could you give me a minute?"

"Seriously? I've seen you pee before baby!"

"I know but..." He holds his hands up and retreats.

"Owwwww" oh!

"What? What's wrong?" Both Christian and Dr Wallace burst in the door. I turn as red as a phone box.

"I'm okay it just, Erm stings a little" Dr Wallace steps forward, edging Christian back. She thrusts a small silver bowl at me.

"If I could have a sample please." She turns and pushes Christian out the door. I can hear her telling him that I need privacy.

I stifle a laugh then proceed to get her sample. It feels like I'm pissing red hot pokers. I try not to cry but FUCK it really bloody hurts!

"I'm done" I call expecting him to charge in and carry me to bed. He doesn't though so I leave my offering on the floor and head for the door, I'm about three steps from reaching the handle before I pass out. The room spins into darkness and no one is there.

It's strange this unconsciousness because I'm not fully out, I'm aware of noises and people. I just can't move. I can feel the cool floor beneath me my face is pressed against it it's cooling to my fiery body. I feel my body shaking, am I shivering or having a convulsion, whatever it is I don't like it! I can feel something warm on my cheek, it takes me a minute to realise I'm drooling, oh yuck! How long have I been lying here? I can hear a faint mumbling noise, oh that's me! Surely the doctor has noticed I'm not out yet? I hear the door opening

"Ana?!" The voice is distorted, I can't tell who it is but I can plainly hear panic. I'm slipping away, the feelings are fading and the voices are almost silent. The black fog is denser and I'm absorbed.

**A/N: Okay so I've left it ambiguous as to Grace's involvement with the operation. For me she was made to watch again, but you can imagine it either way, if she was in I'd imagined her holding his hand and stroking his hair that's just me tho! I almost split them up in this chapter but I think they would stick together, as they have been through a lot together! I have the ending done for this story, I'm just leading up to it now. I think there will be 10 more chapters maximum of this story. Thanks for reading and I hope you like what's to come! Please leave a review**

**CarrieJ x **8


	33. Death by Orgasm

I awaken in Christian's big bed. I can see a small, dumpy woman fiddling with things on the chest of drawers. I let out what I'd hoped was a discreet cough, unfortunately I sound like I've been smoking twenty a day for life! It does the trick and the small woman turns around.

"Your awake ma'am. I must go and inform Mr Grey" she smiles a big warm dimpled smile before leaving.

I lie thinking things over. What the hell is going on? I was in the bloody toilet? Huh? The door opens and he creeps in with the pudgy woman following.

"You had me worried baby!"

"Huh? I...was...in...the..." I rasp out, my throat is so dry.

"Yes you collapsed in the bathroom baby. Your suffering from a middle ear infection, a chest infection and exhaustion." Well that would explain a lot! "Dr Wallace will be back tonight to check you in the meantime you have nurse Anne here to look after you." He doesn't seem happy with the arrangements but I'm not gonna push him.

"How's Carrick?" I croak, nurse Anne passes me a cup of water.

"Take little sips as often as you can honey" she reminds me of my gran, she has that aura about her. She goes back to fussing with her stuff, writing an essay on a clipboard. Christian begins to talk.

"He's doing okay, baby, he hopes your better soon he wants to see you. The whole family want to see you. Your mum and that baby have been here for the past twenty minutes." He sighs as if there is nothing in the world worse than baby Scarlett.

"How long was I out?" I blink up at him

"About five minutes, the doctor gave you a shot of some strong painkillers medication and you went straight back out, don't you remember?"

"Nope. I didn't embarrass myself did I?" He laughs gently

"You said yes"

"What?" I'm completely confused!

"Your exact words were 'yes I'll marry you'" I blush pink then weakly slap him

"Liar!" He guffaws loudly

"Damn! It was worth a try!" He smiles.

"What did I really say?" I ask again raising my eyebrows in warning to him.

"You just cried in pain." He shuts his eyes as if trying to block the image coming into this mind. I lean forward to try to kiss him and cough and moan, my head feels like it's exploding! The tightness in my chest is so painful, I grimace and he leans down to me.

"Behave yourself, the doctor thinks there is a possibility of damaged ribs, but says that hospital is unnecessary, as you've probably just bruised them" he didn't look happy and I bet him and the doc had a bit of a fight about that!

"Sounds like something I'd do" he smiles warmly at me. The door opens and mum's head peeks round

"I thought I heard noise in here! You're awake! Oh I was so worried!" She comes up to my side and sits on the bed embracing me in one of those bone crushing mum hugs. I wince and let out a small yelp of pain and she lets go.

"I'm fine mum"

"Well I have to say that rather obviously your not! Well people do not pass out Anastasia! Well people do not need medication, you, my child, are ill!" She scolds gently.

"Fine, I'm not well! I'll be okay though!" I roll my eyes at her.

"Don't roll your eyes at me young lady! I'll skelp your backside for you!" She chastised again. Christian looks suitably impressed by my mother's chastisement.

"Sorry mum" she pats my shoulder

"Sounds like I'm needed elsewhere" I look at her confused "Scarlett's crying, can't you hear her?"

"Nope" mum's eyebrows knit together and she shakes her head unhappily

"I want a word with that doctor when she comes back" she says to Christian before she leaves the room.

"I thought you had work today?"

"It can wait" he says

"No it can't! Go! Please, I'll feel worse if you stay! I've got mum and nurse Anne, and Gail and probably a million security guards, I'll be fine. Please go to work!"

"If I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to get rid of me Miss Steele!" He grins

"I am! Your empire won't run itself! Go to work, let me rest"

"Okay, okay, I'm going! I'll only be away for a few hours..."

"You'll be away as long as your needed! Don't rush to come back here, I have an army at my beck and call and you are at the end of a phone if I need you!"

"Okay. I'll see you later baby" he kisses my head and strides over to the wardrobe, he goes in closing the door behind him, I can't help imagining him naked in there. I politely ask nurse Anne to leave me to rest, promising I'll call if I need her. She hands me a button to push to get her attention, and leaves the room.

"Christian, I need you" I say loudly, not to loud, I don't want nurse Anne to burst back in. The closet door swings open and there stands my man in his boxers. Oh God how I've missed that sight! He sees nothing is wrong and steps over to the bedroom door locking it.

"You wanting a show before I go baby" I nod eagerly.

He slides his boxers down revealing his body in all its glory. Those bulging biceps, his strong muscular chest marred by the burns, his taught abdomen with its magnificent six pack mmmmm! A groan escapes lips. His penis is erect and waiting for my attention. I want nothing more that to slide it into my mouth, and suck and twirl it around.

"What are you thinking about" he asks, his voice giving away his raw emotions.

"I want to suck your cock" I answer staring into his eyes, flames of passion erupting between us. "I want it deep in my throat, I want to twirl around it with my tongue while I stare up at you, then I want to feel your salty juices flowing down my throat as you shout my name" I feel so brazen, he stands staring, wanking as I speak. He moves stealthily over to the bed I throw back the covers, coughing loudly as my body protests.

He crawls in beside me. I take over, manhandling his manhood, he takes over talking dirty to me while he slips his hand down the front of my pj's.

"I want to shove my penis inside your dripping wet lips, thrusting hard and fast as your body shakes, as your hips rise to crush your pelvis into mine, wanting me deeper and deeper inside you" I can feel my impending orgasm.

"Oh God, give it to me! Harder, faster, rougher baby, fuck me!" I rip my jamma bottoms down and swat his hand away. He jumps on me and impales me in one quick movement. He thrusts so deep into me I feel my insides quivering, he feels it too as he starts a punishing rhythm.

"This is gonna be quick baby" he breathes harshly in my ear.

Two more thrusts and I feel my orgasm explode. My whole body convulses and ripples beneath him I feel his milky seed flowing into me as he groans loudly. He eases out of me before kissing my head.

"That should not have happened, I'm sorry"

"I wanted it to" I move to straighten myself and my face contort giving away my agony.

"Ana, your ill! When you're better we will have as much sex as you want, until then, no it's off limits!" He grabs new underwear and his clothes and heads into the bathroom. I hear the water running. He's in and out in ten minutes. He comes over to me. Oh wow he looks and smells delicious! He is in a charcoal pinstripe suit with a silver tie, he looks fucking hot. I can feel the sexual charge in the air. He leans over and goes to kiss my forehead. I grab him down for a proper mouth to mouth kiss. My hands pulling his hair as our tongues dance in harmony with each other. He pulls back untangling my fingers.

"I gotta go baby, I'll end up causing you more pain!" He moves away from the bed "I'll see you later" he murmurs breathlessly before slipping out the room.

The rest of the day slips past slowly, strike that the whole week drags, it's only broken up by the doctor, coming daily to prod at me with needles, she's worse than a flaming vampire for stealing my blood! I get the odd visitor, mum, Gail even Taylor has been in once! But at least I'm better, I'm up and out of bed bed for the first time today. I'm a little weak still as Christian decreed that I had to stay in bed until the antibiotics finished. I've driven myself round the bend with luxurious boredom! At least he had the telly brought through for me and he gave me his laptop. Seriously there is only so much TV you can watch! Facebook and Twitter even began to annoy me, with all the statuses about going out for pre Christmas drinks and parties. I want to go! My day has come, finally, I'm free! Doctor Wallace has declared me fit and well, oh and decided that I'd had a UTI into the bargain! She said I've to take it easy, and reminded me that my IUS is due changed. That lead to an interesting conversation!

"Christian, I need to go home and see my GP."

"Why?" He looks confused.

"My coil needs changed" he nods

"I'll have a OBGYN come round and see you then" he says. I look down trying to hide my embarrassment.

"Um, no, I want _my _doctor to do it" I press.

"Why? You've seen doctors here before, and I can get you the best in the country if you want" he seems genuinely puzzled. I'm gonna have to spell it out to him

"Christian, I don't feel comfortable with someone I don't know being down _there" _he shakes his head at me laughing

"Ana, Ana, Ana! These people are professionals, it's there job to be down _there_!" He laughs. I turn red

"No!" I'm more forceful now "I don't want some fucking random poking at my vagina! Do you get it now!" He is flopped back on the bed rolling and laughing at me now. "It's not funny!" I scold. He reaches up and tickles me, I slap his hands away.

"Oh you wanna play rough?" His eyes twinkle and my breath catches.

"Yes" I murmur, our discussion already forgotten.

"One more day baby, one more day"

He left me for the night then, but today is different I'm fine, I'm up and tonight... Well, tonight tonight is filled with his weeks worth of promises! I hop out of bed and into the shower. I wash myself thoroughly, shaving the parts that need shaved and mentally deciding that waxing might be a better plan! I lather up my lank greasy hair twice, making sure that it's free of all the yuck! I condition it to and make another mental note that it needs cut, I'll ask Kate where she's been going, and get her to make us appointments for treatments together. I've missed Kate this week, and PM' s don't cut it when your trying to help plan the wedding of the year! She also wouldn't tell me the DNA test results, I know they were due in a week ago, she keeps fobbing me off with inconclusive and retest needed, but even in type I can tell she's lying!

I hop out the shower and briskly dry myself before heading into my room, grabbing a black bra and knicker set, it's all lace and sparkle, some designer brand apparently, I don't care who makes them, but I'm informed by Christian that only the finest will do! They are pants for heaven's sake! Small pieces of material to cover your modesty and he pays hundreds of dollars for them! I don't get it, but then I'm not rich and have been quite happy wearing supermarket pants. I do prefer the feel of the fancy pants, and Christian definitely prefers them!

I saunter into the wardrobe and look all around trying to pick out and appropriate outfit. I scan the rails, looking at all the tops and trousers, the skirts and dresses. I pick out a deep purple knee length tunic, black skinny jeans and a wide black belt. I get an almost ankle length cardigan black with silver strands through it. It's a comfortable outfit for daytime that I can wear out too. I sit at the dressing table and quickly blow dry my hair. I pick up my ghd's and straighten it adding flicks at the ends. I can't remember taking this length of time getting ready, ever! I think the last time would have been the night I met him. I think back to that night and ponder on it. What if I'd never gone? Would we still have met, or would I still be a weak virgin, with dreams of Prince charming whisking me off to his castle for happily ever after. Naive, that word used to sum me up perfectly! Now though I don't think there is a word for me, I'm happy about that. I like most of the new me, I wish I didn't have the fiery temperament but it's part of who I am, without that I doubt the sex would be as good, not that I have anything to compare it to of course, but if it's like this for everyone then wow!

I dress and admire my reflection. I don't recognise the woman staring back, she stands tall, her curves are in all the right places, she has pale skin with a rosy tint to her cheeks, her long brown hair cascades down nearly reaching her waist, is this really me? I don't know, but I do know that Christian loves me as me. I turn to leave the room when I see him sitting on the white wicker chair in the corner.

"Enjoying the show Mr Grey?" I smile

"Yes, I was wondering what you were thinking about though, you seemed lost" he tips his head to the side as he assesses me.

"Just thinking about how much life has changed since I met you" his eyes darken "not what's happened, more about me, how I've changed as a person." I explain

"Oh and what have you concluded?" He seems genuinely interested.

"Nothing. Well something, I know I've changed, I know I've adapted, I didn't realise that I've become comfortable just being me." I look at him.

"Are you happy Ana?" I'm surprised by his question.

"Yes. I'm the happiest I've ever been" he smiles and pulls me down onto his knee.

He presses his lips to mine gently. I wrap my arms around his neck and one of his arms holds my waist. His free hand reaches up and caresses my cheek softly. His eyes shine and he smiles as his hand strokes through my hair and back down to my waist, my mind flips to thoughts of baby Scarlett for a split second, I mentally scold myself and rest my head on his broad chest.

"What's troubling you baby?" How does he do that?

"Ethan and Scarlett" I answer honestly.

"Why are you thinking about them?" His tone is almost even with a slight edge edge to it. I lift my head and look at him

"They've had a DNA test done, Kate's being cagey about the results. I think she's, well probably everyone, is worried about your reaction." He raises his brows at me.

"My reaction? Why would I care?" He sounds genuinely shocked.

"The results were due in the day of Carrick's operation, and you weren't in the best frame of mind" I explain.

"Oh." He goes silent. I lean over and kiss him gently. He responds, his hands moving up my back, the urgency of the kiss increasing. He forcefully pulls his head back."No" he breathes.

"You're not using me, I'm supporting you" I say resting my forehead on his chest.

"I'm using you Ana you just can't see it." I climb off his knee not acknowledging his last comment.

"Are we going then?" I ask.

"Mrs Jones has made us some food, we should eat first." I nod and follow him out the room.

Gail has prepared us a brunch of bacon, eggs, sausages, beans and toast with a bowl of fruit salad and pancakes too. I eat some but my appetite has not gone back to normal since I've been better. Christian sees me picking at the rasher of bacon but says nothing. I have a small bowl of fruit and I'm done. Christian eats more heartily than ever, probably because he's getting to see Carrick today. I rise and go to the loo, and give myself a last check in the mirror. I grab my bag and coat and meet him by the lift doors.

"Your accent is changing" he says quietly.

"I don't think so!" I'm offended, I don't want to change that, it's who I am, it defines me.

"Just a little, you asked me to put something in the trash the other day" he laughs as we enter the lift.

"I was going to say bin but when I do you roll your eyes at me! Oh and this" I wave my arms around "is not an elevator it's a fucking lift!"

"There you are! Welcome back Ana!" He holds me. I shove him off.

"What are you jabbering on about now?" He laughs

"You've been so quiet, you barely eat, when you do talk I can't hear _you. _Do you know what I mean?"

"I suppose. I've just spent a week cooped up in your bedroom with practically no visitors, I suppose I just got thinking."

"Brooding more like! You miss Ray huh?" I didn't even realise until right now that's exactly what's bothering me!

"I do, what with Carrick being so poorly it's made me realise my parents won't be here forever" my thoughts spill from my head.

We exit the lift and enter his Audi, Taylor behind the wheel and we wrapped off towards the hospital. It's nice to have a change of scenery! We pull up at the entrance and its surrounded by paparazzi. Taylor stops the vehicle and moves to help us out. From nowhere six burly security men appear and clear away the majority of the press. Taylor opens the door and we shuffle into the building.

Christian steps up to the reception desk.

"Where can I see Carrick Grey?" He announces, the girl behind the desk flushes and bats her eyelashes at him.

"You want the coronary care unit, do you need directions?" Her voice is sickly sweet.

"No, come on Ana" he pulls me away, back to the CCU, and the waiting room I'll never forget!

We walk quietly along the hospital corridors, it's funny how people tend to be sombre and quiet here. We are passed by a new mother holding a tiny bundle being wheeled out by a nurse, a bedraggled looking man trotting behind, lugging two suitcases, a dozen balloons and a gigantic stuffed panda. I feel sorry for him instantly. The mother is shouting at him already, poor sod! We pass an elderly man leaning heavily on a wooden stick, he catches my eye and gives me a wink. I wonder why he's here visiting or patient? I decide visiting, I play my game until we reach the CCU. We are buzzed straight in and Suzi is waiting for us. She leads us towards Carrick's room. We enter a small changing area and put on gowns masks and attractive hair nets, we then are shown how to properly scrub our hands, before applying the alcohol gel to sterilize them. Christian goes first then me, I struggle to get all my hair in ad Suzi ends up doing it for me! She pulls my hair back into a looped ponytail before rolling the net thing over. When we emerge we see Carrick's small frame in the bed his eyes open and watching us. He still has one drip in but looks a million times better than last I saw him!

"Dad! How are you?" He bounds towards him sitting in the conveniently placed chair, holding his father's hand.

"A lot better for seeing you son!" He smiles, but there is a sadness about him. I pull up a chair next to Christian.

"Hello again Mr Grey"

"Carrick, please Ana!" He smiles again. He shifts his attention back to his son "how is she?" He drops his head and mutters something, I guess they aren't talking about me then! "I'm getting old son, I didn't quite catch what you said" Christian raises his eyes to his father, trying to control the anger rising.

"I don't know, or care, she nearly fucking killed you dad!" His grip on his emotions is tentative at best.

"I know son, but she's my little girl. She's ill, she needs me and your mother now more than ever" he sighs quietly. I watch his monitors blipping away.

"She has schizophrenia" I look at him shocked, he's seen Mia?

"Your mother expected as much. She had all the classic signs. Ana, you can stop watching the monitors I'm perfectly calm and doing better, there is even talk of release next week, if there are no complications. I will be home for Christmas."

"That's great!" I enthuse "sorry bout the watching, you know..."

"Yes I do, everyone does it, Kate even hums along, she's certainly different that girl, just what Elliot needs" he nods, I'm sure he's talking more to himself than us, but being trapped in a room does send you a bit bonkers! "You must be excited for the new year Ana?"

"I suppose, no more than usual though" I look at him confused by his words, it's almost like he's trying to tell me something. I hate when people do that, I wish they would just come out and say it, what's the point beating about the bush?

"Oh!" He looks flounderingly at Christian.

"We are spending New year in Scotland baby, I thought you'd like that" I beam at him.

"Really?" I sound all high pitched and squaky

"Yes really!" He smiles. I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him passionately.

"Ahem" I pull back and blush, embarrassed by my actions. Carrick laughs. "I was your age once Ana!"

"Anyway, where's mum? I thought she'd be here?"

"She popped out to see the doctor, she should be back any time now."

We all turn in unison and glance at the door, no one is there. We turn back to meet the awkward stilted silence that descends over us.

"Turkey!" Carrick says triumphantly "fabulous bird too underused in this country, only for thanksgiving here you know Ana, your mother was telling us all about her turkey with stuffing and blanket pigs, brussle sprouts, bread sauce, roast potatoes and cranberry sauce. Sounds delicious! She's offered to cook it for us"

"No!" I shout "Erm what I mean is, oh how do I say it, I really love my mum but she's a bloody awful cook! Never reads a recipe, doesn't follow timings, Christmas dinner was always burnt in our house. It's meant to be pigs in blankets, you know a cocktail sausage wrapped in bacon, but mum's version is three big chunky sausages wrapped draped in ten rashers most of the time the sausages are cooked and the bacon burnt to a cinder but sometimes you get nice bacon and raw sausage, dad got so ill that year..." Carrick and Christian are killing themselves laughing!

"I'm only pulling your leg Ana! Your mum and dad were telling me yesterday how awful Christmas dinner was in your house" dad? Here?

"My dad...? He's here?" I blink up at Christian, he nods his head.

"It's a late thanksgiving gift for you"

"Thank you! I would get you something in return but I have no idea when thanksgiving is or was!" I babble while throwing my arms around his neck.

"I guess I'm missing the excitement then! What's going on?" Grace asks as she enters the room.

"I let it slip that her father's in town"

"Carrick Grey!" Grace shakes her head "I knew I shouldn't have let them visit you! You just can't keep a secret, how you are a lawyer is beyond me!" I smile at her.

"Dad we have to go, but we'll see you soon. Okay?"

"Yes son, if you could get the reports on that thing we discussed I'd be grateful." Grace looks between her husband and son

"No work! You've to avoid stress"

"It's not work, he wants Mia's file" Christian says, not looking at his father.

"Oh, right, schizophrenia isn't it?"

"Yes, I'll get John to drop it by." He shifts uncomfortably.

"Thank you." Carrick reaches up and shakes our hands, just before Grace envelops us in a hug.

"Dinner at Bellevue later, Sofia is cooking a feast!" She lets us go.

"Okay mom, see you later."

We exit the room pulling off the gowns and everything else. My hair cascades down out of the net bouncing in soft waves down my back. I pull my bag and coat out of the small cubby that Suzi stowed them in. Christian takes my arm as we leave the ward. When we reach the door Taylor is waiting, the press are still there still shouting questions but at least they are not in our faces! We slip into the Audi. The atmosphere changes instantly, I've been almost begging for it for a week now! If he holds out on me any longer I might just combust!

I reach over and brush my hand up his thigh. He reaches down and stops me. Issuing a stare and shaking his head.

"Not here Ana" he whispers as he leans towards me.

"Why not?" My voice is laced with desire.

"Because I don't want to fuck you in front of Taylor" I nod sullenly. "Don't sulk, it doesn't suit you" I roll my eyes at him. His nostrils flare and he looks riled.

"What?" I giggle

"Don't roll your eyes at me, or I'll give you the spanking your mother didn't" he growls at me, seductively. The car pulls to a halt in Escala's garage. We jump out and I practically run into the waiting lift. The doors glide shut and our chemistry ignites.

He lifts my top revealing my midriff he kneels and dots kisses along from one side to the other, he slowly unbuttons my jeans revealing my black sparkly lace panties. He nods his head in approval before peeling my jeans down to my knees. He punches a button on the lift control panel and we stop, he nudges my panties aside with his nose, rubbing it over my clitoris, heating and cooling me at the same time, it feels weird, in a good way, in a fucking brilliant way! He opens his mouth and eats me up, his tongue probing between my engorged labia. It penetrates me rolling around caressing my inner walls, it darts in and out, before moving up he circles my clitoris flicking and sucking gently I moan as my body moves. He pushes me back against the wall pinning my pelvis against the wall. My hips try to buck forward but his hands hold me firmly. I squirm about in his grip as his tongue brings my first orgasm of the day. I scream out, the pleasure, joy and release is amazing! He slides my panties back into place and pulls up my jeans before restarting the lift. Taylor is standing waiting when we arrive at our floor. I step off first, my legs still slightly shaky, closely followed by him. His hand snakes around my waist pulling me close and holding me up. Taylor disappears as we move into the massive room.

"Playroom?" I ask a wicked glint in my eye. "I've been naughty..._sir" _his sharp intake of breath gives him away. He pulls me to the bedroom.

"I want to see what your wearing Ana" he sits on the wicker chair, I slowly and carefully peel off my layers of clothing. I ease my cardigan off my arms and drape it on the bed, I unbuckle my belt and lay it on top of the cardi, I shimmy out of my tunic revealing my bra. He nods for me to continue, I slip off my shoes then slide off my jeans. I stand in front of him with just my underwear on.

"Do you like _sir?" _He appraises me before rising from his seat.

"Your panties Ana, they won't do" he runs his hands over them, feeling me, making me wet. "You've soaked them you dirty girl! Take them off" I hook my thumbs in the waistband and slide them down my thighs letting them fall to the floor before kicking them off. He stools down and picks them up, squeezing them in his hands. "Next time I want to be able to wring them out baby" oh fuck! I could jump him but the only time my knickers will be that wet is if I pee them. He sees the look on my face "I _can _and _will _make you that wet Ana" he pops the clasp on my bra letting it fall on the floor. I bend to pick it up and feel a swat across my backside.

"Ow!" He swats me again.

"I didn't give you permission Ana" oh he's gone full on dominant on me.

"Sorry sir" I drop my head submissively. He swats again

"I didn't give you permission to speak either Ana."

He lays me down on the bed my belly pressed to the mattress and my arse in the air, he produces his tie that he's been wearing to the office, a silver one, and binds my wrists together.

"Don't move" I stand perfectly still as he lines himself up behind me. He pushes my feet apart and thrusts into me, he moves quickly grunting as he goes, I moan beneath him, I feel my orgasm ready to rip through me "don't come Ana" he whispers in my ear. I try to stave it off but it's no use I throw my head back and come loudly. His thrusting increases, he's close, plunging in and out touching me in all the right places, his fingers moving quickly over my clitoris drawing long moans from my mouth. Oh God I'm gonna come again! He comes first and as he's finishing he tips me over. He leaves me lying on the bed and I can hear him rummaging through the drawers he approaches behind me.

"Stand up and lift your left leg" I do as I'm told and he slips a clean pair of panties on me. "Down, your other leg" again I do as I'm told. He slides them up. I feel a pulsation at my clitoris, it's the panties, they are throbbing against my pelvis.

"Mmmmmmm" I moan trying not to. He leads me up the stairs by my bindings to his playroom. My heart is beating fast the anticipation, and stimulation are immense! He gets me to kneel on the floor. As soon as my bottom perches on my ankles I explode, the sensations overwhelm me.

"Oh Ana! You should really learn to controlling yourself!" He chastises as I float back down to my body. He leans down and clumsily braids my hair. I daren't move, I'm barely breathing. "Breathe Ana" he whispers. I pull in a mighty breath, I feel my lungs inflate pushing my ribs out pushing my breasts forwards, my nipples protruding like darts. "Stand" I scramble up, still looking at my feet.

He pulls me over to a large mahogany cross. He unites my hands then he pulls my hand up and straps it it above me. He moves me over before pulling my other arm across and strapping it up too. The pulsating in my panties is relentless and my body convulses into another spiraling orgasm, he pulls my feet apart and attaches them to the cross too. I can see the leather buckled cuffs holding me restrained. The pulsating stops suddenly I see his feet padding away from me. The stereo bursts into life, a beat pulses through me a hypnotic beat without any tune, a mass of drums thunder through me, I sense him watching me. I want to look up, but don't. He stands in front of me.

"You'll need your safe word Ana, if it gets too much call haggis and I'll stop. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir" I reply quickly

"Good" his hands grab my breasts squeezing and pulling my nipples he brings his mouth down and I expect him to suck it but he hovers close, I can feel his breath on my nipples his hands move down to my thighs. He strokes up from my knee to my panties. I shudder, the pulsating begins again. I come instantly, crying out in pure ecstasy. "Look at me" he commands. I raise my eyes to his. "Do you want something?"

"Please" I beg

"What do you want Ana?" He stares down at me his grey eyes dominating my every thought.

"You" I whimper. I feel the lash over my stomach "sir"

He lashes me again again over my thighs and I feel the moistness that my panties had been containing trickle down my thigh. He bends down and laps it up before tearing the flimsy underwear from my body he stands and thrusts into me. I grind against him and he pulls out

"No Ana!" He retrieves my panties, squeezes them and my juices flow down his fingers. "Do you want a taste?"

"Yes sir" he thrusts a dripping finger in my mouth. I suck it clean drinking in my juices. "Mmmm" I lick my lips "thank you sir" he nods pleased.

He uncuffs me and leads me over to the bed.

"Bend over and grab your ankles." I do as I'm told he inserts a finger into my vagina, pulling and stretching me. He stops abruptly. "Ana, how do you feel about anal sex?" My stomach lurches.

"I don't know sir"

"Do you want to try it baby?" NO! Maybe, I don't know!

"Erm, will it hurt?" He stands me up looking into my eyes.

"It will be unfamiliar but it shouldn't hurt, I'll go slow baby and you have your safe word"

"I don't think I can do it. It just, well, I don't know. It's interesting but..." He pulls me into a kiss, before putting me back in position. I feel him inserting something inside me, it's not a dildo, or that bloody egg, it's smaller it feels good! He stands me up. I feel it moving tugging me down making me needy. He walks me around to the other side of the bed oh fuck, two things? They bang off each other with every step rubbing me, pushing me closer to the edge. He has me kneel in front of him, he holds my hair hair and thrusts his penis into my mouth. I suck and twirl it round, he thrusts in and out, I can taste me on him. I groan. He quickens his pace pace and I know he's close, I suck harder and deeper than before and feel his warm salty fluid glide down my throat. He comes loudly.

"Fuck Ana I've wanted that all fucking week!" He pulls me to my feet and kisses me that hard that our teeth clatter against each other. He sits on the edge and pulls me down over his lap. "Now for your punishment Ana" what? I thought death by orgasm was it!

He brings his hand down hard on my backside the balls lurch forward, the tightening starts and I orgasm again his blows rein down on me prolonging my bliss filled state. He eases me onto the bed and pulls out the silver balls.

He penetrates me roughly pushing my feet up by my head. I'm doubled over and its really deep. He starts slowly pushing in as far as he can, until I think his bollocks are going in too, before sliding it right out so only the very tip is in me. His firm hands hold my behind steady, I bend my knees over his shoulders, oh God it feels even deeper now! His hands massage all over my bottom, I can feel him rubbing my juices all over, he caresses my anus gently, lubricating it with my come. He thrusts on and on, deep then shallow, then I feel it, he puts his finger in! I squirm at the unfamiliarity. It feels so good but so bad at the same time! He just holds it there as he urgently and rhythmically brings me up to another cataclysmic orgasm, he joins me this time and we both spiral together into our never ending ecstasy.


	34. Dinner and Babies, and Possibly Goats

"Wake up baby" he coos in my ear. My eyes open slowly, I'm in the bedroom? The sun is down and night surrounds us. "Come on Ana, we're going to be late! I let you sleep for as long as I could but you have to get up now baby!"

"What time is it?"

"Six, we need to be at Bellevue in an hour!"

"Fuck! Why didn't you ask me earlier?" I dive out of bed and hurtle myself into the shower.

"You needed to rest after all that exercise, and you look so beautiful when your asleep" he leans against the sink watching me shower, his erection visible through his trousers.

"Christian! Out! I need a shower and you're putting me off!" I threaten him with a bar of soap.

"Okay, okay!l he chuckles backing up "put the soap down..." I roll my eyes and launch it. It hits the door with a loud thwack. "I'm going!" He scurries out the door.

I showed quickly, using Christian's overpriced shower gel. It smells deliciously of him, I can feel my body responding, I caress down my body, gliding my soapy hands over my breasts towards my stomach, squeezing my own behind before bringing my hands forward, I nearly reach my sweet spot when Christian barges in.

"Ana! You really don't have time for that!" He shakes his head and reaches over.

"Shit, fuck! What did you do that for?" I dive out the shower, he catches me in a big fluffy towel.

"You look like you needed to cool off!" He grins. I skelp his behind.

"Your an asshole Grey!" I scowl as I march into the bedroom.

"And... Your point is?" He wraps his arms around my damp body, I let the towel fall to the floor as I reach my hands into his still damp hair.

"Don't have one, just making sure you know" I pull him down for a kiss, he returns it hungrily.

"Seriously, you want more?" He smiles as he pulls up. "Later baby, get dressed now, your parents are expecting us, and you've got fifteen minutes till we need to go!"

"I'll hold you to that" I shout as I run into the wardrobe.

I pull down a jade satin round necked top, with short sleeves. I team it with black leggings and black heeled knee high boots. I sit at the dressing table and blow dry my hair, it hangs like curtains when I'm done so I grab some bobbles and pull it into a high ponytail then twist it round into a tight bun. I secure it with Kirby grips and a green scrunchy. It looks crap but it'll have to do!

I walk out into the main room and find Christian waiting for me.

"Ready?"

"Yup, just need my coat" I pull my coat off a hook by the door, it's a long black trench coat. He holds it up for me as I slide it on. He leans in and inhales my neck.

"Using my shower gel Miss Steele?" I nod and stride into the waiting lift, he follows behind. We ride down, his arms wrapped possesively around my waist, dropping sweet kisses and nibbles down my neck. I struggle to suppress my moans. Taylor, the consummate professional stands stoically at the doors keeping his eyes forward. We come to a stop and Taylor bursts out the doors and into the garage. He hops in the larger black Audi and pulls it over in front of us. I look at Christian confused.

"We are picking up Kate and Elliot" he explains

"Ahhh, right! I can't wait to see my mum and dad! It feels like forever since I've seen them!"

He doesn't reply. He opens the door and we scoot in. The drive is in silence, only interrupted by the gentle music playing from Christian's iPod. It shuffles and a tune I recognise comes on, Jessie by Joshua Kaddison. My mum loves this song, she wanted to call me Jessie because of it but dad put his foot down, how they came up with Anastasia I'll never know, they don't seem to remember.

We pull up and Taylor goes and gets Kate and Elliot. I hum along to the tune.

"You know this song?" He sounds surprised.

"Yeah mum's a big fan of his, she plays his music a lot, between him, Elvis and the Beatles I had an interesting musical childhood!" I laugh

"I like this one, it's not my favourite by him though"

"Oh? Which one is?" I ask

"It's.."

"Steele! How the fuck are you?" Kate cuts him off, I swear he just sneered at her!

"I'm much better thanks, I'm looking forwards to tonight, a different set of walls!" I laugh, Kate joins in.

"We set a date!" She squeals. Elliot doesn't look happy, she glares at him "of course my best friend is the first to know Eli! I bet you told Christian earlier!" He looks hell of a guilty! "I knew it! Your crap at lying to me!" She looks smug.

"I told him because he told me about something he has planned for then!" Kate's eyes sweep to Christian.

"You _are _free aren't you?" She looks genuinely panicked. Christian laughs.

"Course I'm free, do you really think I'd miss Elliott's wedding? What kind of brother would that make me?"

"You, sheep shagging, goat fucking, bastard! Don't _do _that to me! I nearly had a fucking heart attack!" I elbow her "what?" Christian and Elliot glower at her "Oh shit, you know I didn't mean that! I'm so sorry, I just, you know, open my mouth and..." our men both erupt laughing.

"Not funny you two! Leave Kate alone!" I giggle. I look at Kate's flustered face and soon I'm laughing as hard as the men, Kate soon joins in.

"You lot are bloody mean to me!" She shouts through the laughter. Elliot puts his arms around her waist and pulls her close whispering something in her ear, she smiles and plants a kiss on his lips.

"So? When then? You can't make half an announcement!" Kate looks up at Elliot and he nods.

"New year's day!" She grins

"Kate! That's in less than three weeks! What's the rush? Oh. My. God! Your pregnant aren't you!" She squeals and I squeal.

"Yes! I'm due in March" my jaw drops.

"Your five months gone?! You look so slim still!"

"I know! I only found out last week when you were sick, I realised I hadn't been feeling well so I got checked over and found the baby!"

"Mom and Dad are so happy about the baby, we told them as soon as we found out, we wanted to tell you both in person, although I'm surprised you didn't sus it out little bro!"

"Congratulations to both of you! Where will you be living now?" Christian asks.

"Scotland for at least the first few years, I have my job and Kate has hers" Kate interrupts him.

"And I'll need my mum and dad to be near when I need help! We are gonna live in a village rather than the city, Eli will commute and I can work from home for a while. We just want some calm, before our little storm comes!"

The car pulls up outside Graces house. Taylor opens the door and helps us out. Grace is standing waiting. She pulls us into hugs and I hear her whisper to Christian

"I wish your father was here"

We cross the threshold only to be pulled into more embraces. My mum and dad hold me tight.

"Daddy! I've missed you so much!"

"I'm here now." He strokes my head and holds me close. "My big girl"

We break away and move into the dining room, I notice Kate's parents are here too, she must have told them as they look like they are going to burst with pride. The first course is a lobster bisque, it's lovely, I don't think I've ever eaten anything quite as exotic before! The main course is beef bouginon the meat is so tender it dissolves in my mouth, I even find myself letting out a small moan of pleasure at how good it is, much to Christians amusement. He chooses that moment to run his hand up my inner thigh, bigger the food his touch is much more delicious! He notices I've stopped eating and moves his hand away. I clear my plate and am rewarded by his hand slipping up my thigh and into my wet panties. He circles my clit, round and round, driving me wild, another moan escapes me, his torture is exquisite but I'm getting weird looks off of my parents.

"I need to pop to the loo. I'll be back in a minute." I move his hand away and jump to my feet, I practically run to the loo, only to find it occupied, I head up the stairs and try the loo there but it's occupied too. I swear fate is conspiring against me! I run into Christian's room and use the en suite thank God it's empty! I quickly stop my knickers and continue where Christian left off, I'm nearly there when I hear a knock at the door, karma is a bitch!

"Ana? Are you in there?"

"Yes mum, I'm just having a wee, all the other loos were taken"

"Oh I wondered if it was your bowels acting up against, like when you were little."

"No mum I'm fine, but I can't pee with you listening in!"

"Oh yes of course sorry" I hear her move away and force myself to urinate. No bloody orgasm for me!

"Ana? You okay in there?" I stand and flush wash my hands and step out the loo.

"Yes dad I'm fine! Mum sent you eh?"

"No, I wanted a quick chat, just the two of us. Ana we want to adopt Scarlett, and I need to know how you'd feel about that." He sits on the bed and motions to me to sit beside him.

"Dad I think if it's what you and mum want I'm happy for you!" I plonk down beside him.

"Are you sure honey, you know that Scarlett will be your sister, we won't love you any less you'll always be our big girl"

"Dad I'm nearly 22 and if you want to adopt Scarlett I'll support you I'm not jealous, I really like her, she's cute and I'd love to have her as a baby sister." My dad's face lights up and he hugs me.

"I still love you baby girl"

"Love you too dad. I think mum will be going mad downstairs by now!" We go back downstairs.

I slip back into my seat beside Christian just in time for pudding being served. It's delicious profitterolls filled with cream and smothered with warm chocolate sauce. Wow, it's like eating an orgasm!

After dinner Grace gets out the baby photos of Elliot to show Kate.

"Awww! He's so cute here, look Ana, little Eli with little Christian and a baby goat!" She holds up a picture of them with this tiny goat it's so sweet!

"Oh my God, I remember that! Elliot, do you remember the gay goat?!" Christian shouts through to Elliot.

"Totally, it was in love with dad! Do we have a picture of it?" He walks over to Kate and takes the picture. "That was the last holiday before Mia came" suddenly I feel a chill in the room.

"Did you have to mention her?" Kate chides.

"She's still my sister, she's just mentally ill, that's not her fault!"

"Not her fault? She put your dad in hospital, she nearly fucking killed him!"

"Kate! She's my sister, I love her, she has issues but she's been in my life since I was 6, sorry if I can't just cut her out of it!"

"Don't you dare!"

"Elliot! Kate! Stop! Think of the baby! Do you want to be in hospital?" They both look at me then at each other before everyone else stares open mouthed at them. Oh shit!

"Baby? I'm going to be a grandmother?" Barbara exclaims. Kate gives me the dirtiest look ever.

"That was a reason behind the dinner, I'm nearly six months pregnant and as you all know we are getting married on new years day. Elliot?"

"Um yeah we are moving to Doune and we are going to raise the baby there."

"Doune? Your moving to Doune? Seriously? Forever? What about us?" Barbara fumes.

"Mum, dad your half an hour away at the most and its on good bus routes it has a good school, and we like it, it makes Eli' s commute easy too and there is a chance he could get a job at Stirling Uni, they have been talking to him for a while." Kate explains still throwing daggers at me.

"Congratulations honey! I can't believe I'm gonna be a papa!"

We all take turns to hug the happy couple. We sit and discuss wedding plans and it seems Elliot and Kate have gotten a lot done they have the invites printed and just need to post them, the venue is booked and her dress is picked and paid for, we have to go bridesmaid dress shopping tomorrow her colour scheme is cream and teal, she has picked out a couple of dresses for me to choose from, Christian and Elliot are going suit shopping even though Kate would rather see him in a kilt! That discussion was hilarious!

Christian calls for the car at half nine, and is really pissed when Taylor doesn't show up till ten.

"Where the hell have you been?l

"Sorry sir, I did call and text you, the suv had a flat tyre so I changed it, it'll need a new tyre tomorrow sir, I'll see to it first thing. I brought the other car and will do two trips sir"

"No it's fine Elliot will ride upfront and we'll all go in the back."

"Yes sir" he opens the door and Kate shuffles in followed by me then Christian.

We ride to Elliots apartment in comfortable silence. Kate places my hand on her stomach, I feel a fluttering, my eyes grow wide as I look at her and she nods. Oh I felt the baby!

"That's amazing!"

"It is eh? I thought that was wind!" I smile and she giggles. We pull up at hers far too quickly and both she and Elliot leave the car. I lean onto Christian's chest, I'm tired now. It's not long till we are back at Escala. We walk into the main room I stride into the bedroom and strip off. I run to the loo for a pee and then snuggle up under the covers and await my man. I don't wait for long.

"Sorry, I'm just getting some stuff for morning" he starts rummaging through the drawers.

"Come to bed." He freezes and looks at me.

"I can't... I might..."

"No you won't! I trust you, come to bed, I need you with me." I beg

"Ana, I did hurt you before, I could do it again"

"Are you still having nightmares? The ones you had leading up to that night?"

"No, they are different"

"Come to bed then. I need you here, I miss you at night"

"Okay, I'll have Taylor posted outside tonight, just in case"

"Fine, just come to bed!" He fires off a text and there is a knock at the door within a couple of minutes. He moves out of the room and I can hear him having a quiet talk with Taylor. He is back in and he climbs into the bed beside me. I curl into him and rest my head on his chest, listening in to his heartbeat. I snuggle in and he runs his hands down my back and squeezes my bum.

"You have a very sexy ass miss Steele, it leads to sexy legs, and uncious thighs, the inner ones are warm and enticing, they pull me in and up to your luscious full lips that hide your delicious clit I could eat it morning noon and now!" He shoots down the bed feeling my body with his lips on the way down starting at my mouth, moving down my neck across my breasts teasing each nipple, moving down over my stomach moving closer and closer to my little piece of heaven on earth. I feel his warm breath on me, gently caressing my labia, his hands move up and tug on my nipples

"Mmmmmmm" I lose all my ability to speak when he's exploring me.

"Your so wet and ready for me" he slides his fingers into me me and I almost convulse around him. He nuzzles into me me his magical tongue lapping at my clitoris as his fingers pump into me. He brings me to an almighty climax as I shriek around him in ecstasy. He plunges in his thick hard penis, pushing it in hard and fast. His mouth is on mine hungry for all he can get of me, I can taste myself on him. He pulls me so I'm on the edge of the bed with my feet on the floor he does a quick swap and he's sitting and I'm astride him. Balancing my heels behind his back digging into the mattress I ride him hard.

"Oh baby, fuck me, go on baby, faster, faster mmmmmmm" I push into him and he rises up to meet me I can feel my insides quivering.

"Fuck Ana! Oh fuck give it to me baby! I'm coming" I feel his hot come spurting into me and I orgasm around him.

"Ahhh, fuck, ooooohhhhhh, shit, mmmmmmmmmmmmm Christian! Christian! Christian!"

I collapse onto his chest fully spent and utterly exhausted. He lifts me back onto the bed and cuddles in behind me. I don't think I've been more content in my life ever!

**A/N Sorry it's taken so long to update but I've had migraines recently. Oh and I dedicate this chapter to all my Twitter girlies that corrupt me ( yes I mean you sweet honey dew and Alexandra I) and to the legend that gets unnoticed punctures (yes crazy K that's you). Hope you all liked and if you could leave a review I'd appreciate it x **


	35. Brunch, Shoes and Chocolate Cake

I awaken with a jump and reach out for Christian, I feel the still warm empty space beside me and sigh contentedly. He slept with me without incident, the thought of that makes me smile. I stretch and yawn awakening myself further. I rise and gather some clothes and jump in the shower the warm water caresses my body, I lather myself with shower gel scrubbing the night from my body rehashing yesterday in my head. I'm rinsing the soap away and my hands are slipping and sliding all over my body. I sense someone standing watching me as my hands venture further south, over my stomach. I hear a groan and look round to see my boyfriend watching, standing to attention in all ways. I beckon him over to me. He sashays over his eyes never leaving my body. I quickly rinse off and step into the fluffy towel he holds out for me.

"Morning Ana, did you have a good shower?" He murmurs seductively.

"Good morning to you too, did you enjoy the show?" I raise my eyebrows questioningly.

"Hmmm, I could watch that show every morning baby." He rubs me down with the towel, drying me off "you need to get dressed now, Kate and Elliot will be here any minute"

"Shit, I forgot they were coming! What time is it?" I rush to pull my clothes on.

"Just after ten" he grins

"You pig!" I ball up the towel and throw it at him.

"Hey!" He catches the towel and fakes that it hurt. "You had a big day yesterday and you look so cute lying there."

"I haven't even eaten yet, SHIT!" I exclaim as I put my foot straight through my tights, I throw them to the floor in disgust and pull out another pair only to do it again. "Grrrrr"

"Here baby let me" he pulls a pair of stockings out and gently slides the glossy fabric up my leg then he repeats the process with my other leg. He pulls out the suspender belt to match my knickers and secures it round my waist before he attaches the stockings. "Mmmmm" his breathing quickens "I cant wait to take these off you tonight" he pulls out a new shoe box and produces a stunning pair of sapphire blue Louboutins.

"Wow! These are gorgeous! I'm going to break my neck but wow!" I wrap my arms tightly round his neck, whispering thank you as I pepper kisses along his broad shoulders up his neck and I passionately kiss him with everything I have.

"For a response like that, I'll get you a new pair every day!" He laughs. "Kate said you needed shoes to try on dresses so I got you some, if they are the wrong colour let me know"

"Your not sending them back! I don't care how often I sprain my ankle wearing them these are mine now" I pull my feet up and hold onto the shoes.

"Oh these ones are going nowhere, apart from maybe over my shoulders tonight" I feel my insides quiver at the thought. I hurriedly pull on my outfit, it's a knee length tight blue dress with long sleeves. I stand up and find that these shoes are a joy to walk in. I go over to my dressing table and sit and quickly blow dry my hair, making a mental note that it needs a cut, then I apply a bit of mascara and some lip gloss and I'm done. I head out to the kitchen to find Kate and Elliot are here sitting at the table with Christian.

Elliot wolf whistles at me

"Looking hot Ana!" Christian glowers at him, I give him the behave yourself look.

"Why thank you kind sir" I try to curtsey and nearly fall on my ass, fortunately no one laughs and Kate saves my blushes.

"Oh my God are they Louboutins?" I nod "oh my god! I'm so jealous! They are gorgeous, I might have to change my colour scheme so that you can wear those shoes!"

"It's okay, Christian says he'll get me a pair in any colour you want..." I tail off when I see the look on her face.

"Eli, why are you not so shoe generous as your brother? I need Louboutins for our wedding" she whines. He pulls out a black bank card and hands it to her.

"Get whatever you want baby, so long as your happy, the baby and I are happy"

"Oh Eli" she jumps onto his lap and practically eats him for breakfast.

Mrs Jones appears carrying a large platter of food she places it in the middle of the table and then brings over a large dish of pasta and another dish with soup. The whole thing smells amazing.

"Brunch is served" Christian announces.

"Thank you for doing this for me Christian" Kate says.

"No problem, is everything here okay for you?" I look at the pair of them confused, I totally missed something, Elliot spots my confusion and explains.

"Kate has issues with eating out at the moment, certain food smells make her sick." I nod

"Oh you poor thing!"

"It's fine, so long as I eat in places where I can control the menu then I'm fine. Eli is a good enough cook, not quite as good as you, oh and could you make your triple chocolate fudge cake, I have tried loads but none are as good as yours babe, please" talk about a change of subject, I find myself nodding. "You are amazing thank you Ana! Oh my God, you should make one as a wedding cake for us, shouldn't she Eli?"

"Whatever you want Kate" she turns to me with big puppy dog eyes.

"It won't look that good but I'll do it if it's what you really really want"

"It is. This wedding planning malarkey is easy!" She begins to eat again, filling herself full of all of Mrs Jones creations. I hope I'm not as bad as that when I'm pregnant.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxox

Four hours later and Kate and I are exhausted! She must have had me try on about twenty dresses, in every colour imaginable. She eventually settled on a floor length strapless satin gown with diamontes along the bust and hem. We then spent an hour with the colour swatch book and one of my shoes before she decided that she needed the dress to be turquoise. I have to come back in a few days for a fitting and that's when I'll get to see Kate's dress for the first time. She's shown me photos but I have a feeling that she's having it altered to be a bit more her... She also picked out a pair of Jimmy Choos in a similar colour to my dress for herself. Then we headed back to her flat and she showed me her invites, the table plan, and finally the venue pictures.

"Wow! That place is stunning, where is it?"

"It's Doune castle. We can get married inside and hopefully have a beautiful snow covered backdrop for the photos. We are having the reception in the village hall, it's a bit tatty and run down but Eli has been onto the council and has offered to fix it up for virtually free so long as we can have our reception there"

"Doune castle? We went there on a history trip didn't we? I don't remember it being so pretty"

"I know eh? It was Eli's idea. He saw its name when we were house hunting on Google maps, looked it up and bingo, it's exactly what we both want" she grins from ear to ear.

"I'm so excited for you both! I can't believe Christmas is only a week away, can you?" I have a nervous edge to my voice and hope that she doesn't pick up on it.

"Oh_ Ana! Again? Really?_ You are the same every year!" I drop my head slightly in shame.

"Not every year" I try to defend myself.

"Have you bought anything yet?" She quizzes.

"No" I mutter under my breath.

"Ana!" She chastises. "Your staying with me tonight then tomorrow we are Christmas shopping. You'd better call your boyfriend and explain, oh and tell him to keep Eli, say we are planning my hen night or something"

I pull my mobile out my bag and decide to send him a text instead

*** Staying at Kate's tonight planning her hen night, need to go shopping tomorrow again, and I'm baking a cake! Love you An ***

My phone beeps a minute later

*** I'll have to come round later Elliot needs something and I have to help you out those stockings ;) ***

Cheeky boy! I can feel my pulse quicken at the memory of his hands sliding the stockings on, I let out a small groan at the thought of him removing them.

"Penny for whatever thoughts your having Miss Steele" I feel the redness creeping up my neck and spreading over my cheeks. "You are a dirty girl, I always suspected it but bloody hell Ana. I nearly bloody passed out the day I saw you all trussed up in ropes with only a corset to cover your modesty. I'd have to say the change in you has been immense, your not scared of anyone or anything anymore, your temper scares me though."

"I don't have a temper!" I fume giving her my death glare.

"Point totally proven." She raises one eyebrow at me sceptically. "No anger there at all" I hear the sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"Okay okay" I raise my hands "maybe I have a small" she shakes her head "okay already so I have a temper! Its not like I go round attacking people!"

"Um, Mia, Maria, Jack not to mention yourself..." Okay so she has a bit of a point. Bollocks, why didn't I see it for myself? Suddenly the penny drops

"You didn't tell me if Ethan is Scarletts daddy in case I hit him?" I ask incredulously. She nods "Kate" I take her hands "I'd never hit your brother, he's like my brother, so what if he is the dad? It's not like he thought 'I'm gonna find a psycho and fuck over Ana's life' is it?"

"No Ethan wouldn't do that" she defends.

"I _know _that. Okay so maybe I could use anger management therapy, but I'm not, and I swear this on my new sisters life, going to lay a finger on Ethan!" She stares at me until she's sure I'm sincere.

"Scarlett is my niece. Ethan signed over his parental rights to your parents, but they have agreed that the adoption will be open so that Ethan can still have contact." I see the drips on her hand and look up at their source. I raise my hand and gently wipe them away before pulling my best friend into a hug. "I feel like a weights been lifted off me, I was so worried about your reaction."

"I'm guessing your plan was to tell me today?" She nods on my shoulder. "Come on, let's get you straightened out, then bake a cake, your fiance and his hot baby brother are coming round later later and I think we should give them a treat." I whisper my plan in her ear and she beams. "I'll nip to the shop and get what we need while you sort out in here" I give her a wink before I step out the front door.

"Miss Steele?"

"I'm going to the shop to get some essentials." I explain, God I hate being followed around by security!

I head out of the building and into the shop just along the street, I fill my basket with what we need, pay for it and head back up to the flat. I notice the door is ajar and try to recall if I left it that way. Sawyer steps up.

"Wait here" he pulls out his mobile and calls someone who's stepping into the apartment waving his gun about.

**BANG**

**A/N: Sorry this chapter has taken so long but I've been struggling with writers block so I can only apologise. I'm sorry it's a filler chapter but I needed to sew up some loose threads in this one hence why it's a shorty! Hopefully the creative juices will flow more freely for Chapter 36! As always reviews are welcome and I do try to listen. **

**I apologise for my overuse of the exclamation mark it's my favourite punctuation! Us Scots proclaim a lot! ;)**

**Anyway I hope it's not too long till I post again, I might do a time jump to Christmas and fill in the blanks with flashbacks from different perspectives? Any thoughts in that? **

**Remember I'm on Twitter: carriej56fanfic Facebook: Carriej Fanfic Follow me or add me me and you can contact me through pm on here too.**

**See you soon**

**CarrieJ x**


	36. Bang!

**Kate's POV**

Ana had suggested a night of seduction for our men. I'm so up for that my hormones have been kicked into overdrive. I think I'm wearing Eli out with my demands but nothing can suppress the image of Eli spread on the bed with chocolate cake and extra fudge frosting applied liberally wherever I want it! Oh I can feel myself getting hot thinking about it. I wonder if he would be up for a fudge blow job? Mmm, chocolate cake smeared over his bronzed muscular chest... ooh! I'm dragged out my thoughts by a swift kick to my bladder, I swear this kid is going be a footballer, maybe he's the next Beckham? Or she could be practicing her ballet and be a Darcy Bussle in the making!

I'm sure it's psychological, but since I found out I am expecting, I've been peeing like a racehorse! I rush to the loo, I say rush it's more of a waddle as my backside is the size of a small country. Pregnancy is definitely not as glamorous as its made out in movies and on TV. If I'm not in the bathroom I'm taking up residence in the kitchen filling my face with whatever craving is attacking me. It was okay when I wanted normal stuff but when I sat down to pickled eggs and cherry tomatoes Eli nearly puked. My one constant is chocolate, preferably smeared all over my man's chest.

I should get my fat arse in gear. I waddle up the hall towards my room before I double back to grab some supplies out the kitchen. I head into my bedroom straighten out the bed and sprinkle it with rose petals, not too many, I don't want a scene from _American Beauty _in here, just a good amount of romantic fucking! I dig out some handcuffs and a couple of whips, a dildo or two and put them in the empty top drawer. I spray some rose water for effect then move on to the guest room. It's my favourite room in the flat, I convinced Eli to paint it a pale lemon so that it's unisex and can be easily transformed into a nursery. We have the room planned out to the smallest detail I know where the nappy rash cream will be stored, my hubby to be is one hell of a planner!

I grab some bedding out the cupboard and walk into the sunshine lemon room, it glows in the sunlight, making patterns dance round the walls from the glass light fitting. I stand and gaze out the window and see that it's starting to set, giving off ribbons of colour, streaking the sky with pinks and purples, weaving in threads of orange and gold it's stunning, I could stand here until the sky is black but I need to get on with the job in hand. I am just finished putting the sheet on when I hear the front door click open.

"I'm in here honey" I shout to Ana, picking up the duvet cover and working one side in. I hear her walking into the room behind me. "Could you grab that corner and help me get the duvet in the cover?" She just stands there behind me saying nothing. "Come on! Give me a hand" I spin round and am met with a contorted sneer.

"Not expecting me Kate?" The accompanying laugh chills me to the core. I freeze staring into those manic eyes. "Follow me".

"I'm not going fucking nowhere with you, you psycho!" I yell, only to find myself staring down the barrel of a gun. My eyes follow the motion of the weapon, it moves behind me and out of sight.

"I said move!" I feel it pressed into my back, I walk forwards knowing Ana will be back any minute. I feel the tears spilling down my face, I'm not scared for my own life, I'm scared for my child.

I step out of the room and am guided towards my room via the lounge. I hear a muffled voice at the door, a man's voice, Sawyer! He enters the room his gun in his hand, he doesn't see us in time, the gun is pulled from my back.

**BANG**

Time slows down as I see the bullet pierce his shirt and see the blood splatter up the wall as it exits at the other side, the gun drops from his grasp and the pain and anguish flashes across his face.

"Code red" he utters before a large boot stamps on his phone.

"No one's coming to save you, Mr bodyguard, your expendable!" The chilling laugh erupts again as the boot kicks the gun away, then it's retrieved by the other hand and before I know where I am there are two guns pointed at me and I'm shoved into my bedroom. The door slamming in our wake.

**Ana's POV**

**BANG! **

The shot rings out around me, I lurch forward hurling myself into the apartment. I hear Kate's bedroom door slam. I do a quick look around the lounge, I see the blood splattered up the wall ahead of me. I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck rising with every slow careful step I take. I can hear shouting coming from Kate's room along with loud wailing. I know Kate's in there with whomever has a gun, my stomach lurches with the realisation that the blood could be Kate's. Where is Sawyer?

I creep forwards nearly falling on the body lying bleeding on the floor. Sawyers face is ashen and there is a deep wound just below his right shoulder. His body is shaking, probably due to the amount of his blood swamping us. I pull two cushions off of Kate's couch, I gingerly lift his arm up. He groans in pain as I shove a cushion beneath him trying to stem the bleeding at that side. I compress the wound at the front pushing it into him with all my strength. He screams out, the pain creases and contorts his face.

"It'll be okay. I'll get help" I stand and make to move towards the door. I'm stopped by the sound of Kate's door opening.

"Oh so nice of you to join us Ana" the voice chills my blood, I don't turn around I already know who's there.

**Kate's POV **

"Get on the bed Kate" I sit on the edge. "Lie down!" The stern tone and the volume makes me quiver in terror. I follow my instructions. My bump sticks out prominently as I lie down.

"Please don't hurt me!" I beg.

"Oh lookey here, Miss Kavanaugh, your in the family way" the hysteria erupts again, before a loud wail echoes forth. It takes a second for me to realise I'm the one wailing.

"Don't hurt my baby" I beg. The face changes, and softens, almost like changing its mask.

"I had a baby once you know. They gave it away, they all took her from me" a babyish voice claims. Pain flashes across the innocent face of my captor before it twists again and the ire returns. "Babies are filth, the world would be a better place without scum, wailing, dirty, incommunicative beasts."

"No!" I scream covering my ears. I can't listen to anymore of the venom spilling out of her mouth.

"Aaaarrrrgggghhhh" a scream pierces the air, she looks at me panicked.

"Is someone through there?" I shrug "IS THERE SOMEONE THROUGH THERE?" I look away.

She throws the door open and motions to me to move. I walk towards her and she pushes me against the wall next to the door, gun pushed into my lower back.

"Don't move or I'll make it a long painful death for you and your scum" she sneers into my ear.

"Oh so nice of you to join us Ana"

I see my best friend freeze then turn slowly round. I can just see what's happening, I almost catch Ana's eye but she doesn't look at me she focuses on the gun then raises her gaze straight into the eyes of our captor.

**Ana's POV**

"What do you want Mia?" I demand. The gun in her hand swings wildly. Her face is like a crazed maniac.

"I want revenge." She replays coolly, her face twists bitter with rage and untamed fury "You, little bitch, stole my life, my brother and my lover. I hate you." She spits in my face.

"I stole nothing, you fucking nut job!" I notice Kate standing shaking in the doorway.

"Now, now little bitch, you'll do _exactly _what I ask you to and these two will be fine, if not you'll have even more bodies on your conscience." she motions the gun pressed into Kate's back.

"What do you want Mia?"

"I want you to die Anastasia Steele." I feel like all the air has been knocked out of my body.

"You'll let Kate go?"

"Yes, after she's seen you die."

"No, let her go Mia, she has done nothing to you!" She crackles and raises her hand, I feel it swing across my head. "Tell Christian I love him..." I whisper as I fall to my knees and the darkness swamps me and I slump over Sawyer body.

**Kate's POV**

I watch in disbelief as Ana drops to the floor falling lifelessly over Sawyer. He cries out as she falls, rolling himself on top of her, covering her body with his as Mia takes aim again.

**BANG**

**BANG**

Sawyers head rolls to the side his eyes open and face contorted in pain. She pushes me out the door towards the bodies. I can feel Sawyers glassy eyes staring at me.

"You killed them! You killed them both! Why?"

"They had it coming, well little bitch did, at least!" She replies in a controlled level way. "Poor, little, broken Christian, no one left to pick up all the pieces, what will he do now?" She sing songs the glee evident on her face.

"Let me go, please, I never did anything to you. Christ, I was your fucking friend!" I sob.

"Oh yes, until little miss bitch Steele came along! You dropped me like a hot potato! You deserve to be punished for that Katie! I'm sorry that I have to do this to you but, you'll get over it" she tilts her head to the side almost as if she's considering her next move.

"You promised you'd let me go" I beg. I see her absorb the information before she throws one gun away and pulls the other from my back. A childlike whisper leaves her mouth

"Tell them all I'm sorry" she places the gun at her temple and squeezes the trigger. I watch in horror as her head explodes across the living room. I stand completely still staring at the bloody aftermath of Mia's last stand. I hear a whimper coming from under Sawyer.

"Ana?" I crouch next to the tangled bodies. Her hand flounders out from under Sawyer. I grab hold and pull up as hard as I can, Sawyers body flips over releasing Ana's upper body. She sits up and struggles out from under her bodyguard.

"Sawyer? Miss Steele? Miss Kavanaugh?"

**Ana's POV**

Taylor's voice echoes round my head. I try to reorientate myself to the room. There is blood everywhere it has seeped through my clothes like water. Sawyer's glazed eyes stare at me. I crouch down and feel for a pulse, I can't feel one. I close his eyes the way I've seen it done on TV shows. I think he's dead. I hear footsteps enter the room.

"Code red, backup required, scene secure." I see Taylor flanked by two police officers. Kate slides sobbing down the wall. I step over to her and wrap my arms around her.

"They're dead Ana, she made me watch as she shot him" she cries the sobs heaving through her body. "She made me watch Ana, I thought you were dead! I thought you were dead! Then she, she..."

"Help, somebody help, she's struggling to breathe!" I cry, paramedics rush over and put a breathing mask on her and inject something in her arm. "She's pregnant, be gentle with her." They nod and strap her to a board and carry her out. I follow behind her, Taylor holding my arm.

"Miss Steele, you need to be checked over, your bleeding" I snap my head round

"I'm going with Kate!" I bite.

"Miss Steele, Mr Grey is waiting for her downstairs. Mr Grey is waiting for you downstairs too. It's my job to tell him you've refused medical attention" he gives me a 'I'd grass you up in a heartbeat' look.

"Fine! I'll see the medics!" I storm towards the nearest one. She sits me on the stretcher and takes my pulse and blood pressure.

"We need to get her to the ER now!" I feel my body being manhandled onto the stretcher and I'm being rushed from the building.

"We need her clothes! Put them in an evidence bag when you remove them "I see a tall burley guy shout at us.

"Yeah, yeah, we know procedure!" She shakes her head.

"What? Where are we going and why do you want my clothes? Where is Christian? I need him!" I start hyperventilating.

"Okay sweetie, I need you to calm down. Take some slow even breaths. I guess Christian is one of the two panicked men downstairs. He's not allowed up as this is a major crime scene. I need you to hold still now as we don't quite know the extent of your injuries." She soothes me, stroking my hand gently.

"Will you get him? Please, I need him!" I beg, clutching her.

"Lets get you loaded first then I'll find him okay? Now slow even breaths for me sweetie" she removes my hands from her arm.

"Ana, my name's Ana." She nods politely as the stretcher is pushed into the ambulance.

"ANA!" I breathe deeply, he's here. I feel his hand in mine.

"Christian." I take another deep breath and close my eyes.

**Christian's POV**

I hold her hand tight as I survey her body. Her clothes are soaked in blood, she is caked in a layer of red. She takes slow deep breaths, her eyes closed, a trickle of moisture runs from her eyes. What did she see? What the fuck happened? I pull out my cell and call Taylor. I need information.

"Sir?"

"What the fuck happened in there? Where the fuck was Sawyer, I don't pay him to sit on his ass, especially when some fucking lunatic attacks my girlfriend and future sister in law" I growl. The EMT looks at me and shakes her head.

"He's gravely I'll sir, he was shot three times, one in the shoulder, and twice in the back. They don't think he's going to make it." Oh my God, did she see him get shot? I snap back to information mode.

"Who shot him?" I bark

"It was Miss Grey sir." FUCK!

"Mia? Just wait till I get at her I'm gonna fucking kill her!"

"She's dead sir, she shot herself." I drop my cell. What the hell did she do first? I hear a gurgling sound and look down at Ana.

"Move sir, now. She's choking!" The EMT shoves me out the way and works on Ana. "Ana? Ana? Can you open your eyes for me sweetie?" She pushes down on her chest. "We need to be at the hospital now!" The sirens ring loudly above me.

"What's happening?" I plead

"She's vomiting and showing signs of severe head trauma, she possibly has internal bleeding, I don't know how much, if any, of this blood is hers." She yells as she sticks needles in Ana's arms.

The next thing I know the back doors are flying open and Ana is wheeled out people shout orders around her, I follow behind my hand on her head whispering that I love her and begging her not to leave me.

"Sorry sir you can't come in here authorised personnel only." I'm pushed back and a nurse leads me to a waiting room.

"Christian?"

"Mom! Kate, Ana, Sawyer it was Mia, mom she shot at them." She nods and tears spill down her face.

"Come with me, you and Elliot should be together just now." She leads me to a door just across the hall from where the nurse had guided me.

"What the fuck happened in there? Kate is fucking catatonic." He hurls all his fury at me.

"Mia." I don't need to say anything more. His face falls.

"Does she really hate us that much?" I can see him trying to rationalise it in his head.

"I don't know, I suppose it doesn't matter now anyway" I sigh

"Doesn't matter? The hell it doesn't, I want answers, that manipulative little bitch has gone too far this time!" His inner demon bursts out.

"Elliot, she's fucking dead! We won't get answers, they died with her. Only Ana and Kate know what happened and I can't see them talking about it." I pace the floor. Running my hands through my hair.

"Sit the fuck down, they will come and get us..." He's interrupted by a knock at the door. We both freeze as the door opens, our eyes waiting to see who enters. We both deflate when Taylor's head comes round the door.

"Sir, I have more information for you"

"Yes. What is it?" I snap unable to hide my disappointment.

"Sawyer passed away twenty minutes ago at the scene sir. I thought you should know." I close my eyes and drop my head.

"Has his family been informed?"

"Yes sir, I called them personally." I nod

"Thank you Taylor"

"I'll take up my post at the door." He says and goes to leave.

"Stay. Please sit down." I ask. He looks surprised then gives me a small nod and sits down. Time drags on minutes feel like hours. Kate and Ana's parents arrive together, escorted into the room by my Mom.

"Any news?" Carla asks nervously.

"Nothing yet." I reply.

"Can we see Kate?" Barbara probes Elliot.

"She's sedated again, they are taking her for scans to make sure she wasn't hurt and they are checking the baby too." He breaks down and cries. I've never seen Elliot cry before it shocks me to see him turn into the blubbering mess in front of me. His fiancée and child could have died. I involuntarily shudder at the thought.

The door opens and a small blonde woman in shrubs enters.

"Mr Grey?" She asks

"Yes" Elliot and I reply in unison.

"It's about Anastasia Steele" she says

"Oh God, she's alive please tell me she's alive." Carla begs the woman.

"I'm Mr Grey." I stand

"Okay, Ana has a mild concussion that caused a temporary loss of consciousness. She is awake and orientated. She needs an operation as she has a bullet lodged in her bowel and one in her left thigh. We will operate tonight, she's heading to the operating room shortly but wants to see you first."

I nod and follow the woman to Ana's room. She looks so small and frail in the big white bed. Her hair is still splattered with blood and there are random patches of the stuff all over her.

"Ana, baby I'm here" I take her hand.

"Christian?" The tears spill from her brimming eyelids.

"Shhhh, I'm here baby." I stroke her cheek.

"I need an operation.."

"I know, your going be fine, I'll be waiting for you, I'll be here when you wake up." I'm trying my hardest not to cry.

"Promise?" a single tear trickles down my face.

"Promise. I love you baby." I place a delicate kiss on her cheek.

"I want to go home." She breaks down and sobs now. I climb onto the bed beside her and scoop her into my arms, rocking and soothing her.

"As soon as your better baby. "She stares up at me with her big doe eyes.

"Sawyer? Is he dead?" I nod "He saved my life", I can't help but look confused.

The nurse chooses that moment to burst in and kick me out. I walk back to the now half empty waiting room. I field a lot of questions from both Carla and Ray. Once they are satisfied I sit down next to my mom.

"How's Kate?" I ask her.

"She's awake but not really talking, she just keeps asking for Ana." Her head hangs. "This is all my fault!"

"No mom. Mia did this, you did your best with her"

"I missed a schizophrenic illness in my own child!" She shouts. Carla and Ray glance over but thank God keep their mouths shut.

"We _all _did, just because you're a doctor doesn't make you any different from the rest of us!" I see Carla nodding.

"Grace, you did everything and much, much more for that girl. A lot of parents would have given up on her as a lost cause when she went into the Erm... hospital. But not you, you visited daily when you could even with your husband being so ill. You are the type of mother I hope I am to Ana and that I aim to be to Scarlett." My mother falls into Carla Steele's waiting arms and sobs.

**Kate's POV**

I curl into a tight ball in the middle of the bed. Ana, that's what I need. I steal glances at the worried faces around me, they all seem so foreign to me. I shut my eyes to block their pitying gazes out and I'm back in that room again, the two bodies on the floor and the blood I feel it's sticky warm as it splatters me. Those eyes stare at me, taunting me, still full of venom and hate. I force my eyes open, lean over the side of the bed and vomit. I feel the familiar squirm in my belly. I caress it.

"Ana saved us little one. She'll be here soon." Eli holds my hand and talks to me. I pull away and rock my bump stroking it lightly. "Don't worry little one Ana's coming." I soothe. I feel a sharp scratch in my arm and it floats back, back to the nothingness that I came from.

**Christian's POV**

The time drags by slowly, mom and Carla fall asleep first then Ray so only Taylor and I remain awake.

"Sir I'd like to take up my post please." He asks

"Okay Taylor, and thank you for today." I reply.

"It's my job sir." He nods his head and steps out of the room.

I feel a strange numbness in my arm and oh my neck! I stretch out and note that four hours have passed. I must have fallen asleep in this neck breaking seat. I stand and stretch my lower limbs. I need a walk. I step out the room and Taylor is there on guard.

"Sir?"

"I'm just stretching my legs and looking for the nearest bathroom"

"Third door on the right" he tells me. I offer a small smile of thanks before I stride towards it. On my return I see the same petite blonde talking to Taylor.

"How's Ana?" I ask.

"Surgery went well, she's in recovery." I feel my face light up.

"Can I see her?" I need to be with her.

"It's not normal protocol but you're allowed Mr Grey." She smirks. "follow me" I run along behind her like a little lost puppy.

She leads me to Ana's bedside.

"Hey sweetie look who I found!" Ana's eyelids flutter open and flick from short blonde to me. She grimaces as she moves her head. I sit on the chair that's been provided for me. I lift her hand.

"I told you I'd be here" I lean over and place a gentle kiss on her forehead. She pulls her hand away.

"Kate, I want Kate"

**A/N: Big shout out to the wonderful Amy Rolon for betaing this chapter for me! I hope you all don't want to kill me after that one! I promise the story is coming to an end soon, there may be more from them though! I do love my Ana and Christian!**

**Till next time, thanks for reading and pretty pretty please leave a review**

**CarrieJ x **


	37. Life After Death

**Ana's POV**

KATE!

I blink my eyes open and a short blonde is babbling at me.

Where's Kate?

Christian hovers above me spouting something about promises and waking up. My body aches, I feel like something has torn through me. My stomach, oh God, I'm gonna be sick! I pull my hand from his grasp and stare into his soft gray eyes.

"Kate, I want Kate." I try to sit up and the pain lances through me like a hot knife through butter. "Aaaarrrggghhh" I cry out.

"Ana! Lie down you'll tear your stitches" Christian admonishes me. I blink confused.

"Stitches? I'm fine, I need to get to Kate, and Sawyer oh God all that blood..." I tail off as the voice of ice chills me to the core. "Mia, she was there. It went black, she made me beg for Kate's life then it went black. Am I dead? Is this heaven? You look like an angel, you glow..."

"Ana?" He sounds worried. "Your not dead, don't you remember? Kate's okay, she's unhurt. You were sort of shot twice one bullet got stuck in your thigh and the other in your bowel, I know they removed them both. Your probably hazy from the anaesthetic."

"I need to see Kate! NOW!" I demand like a petulant five year old. Short fat nurse appears.

"Miss Steele, you seem to be quite alert now, we will be moving you to a ward where you will need constant monitoring. The surgery on your bowel was extensive and with the bullet being pulled from your femur too, you will be on bed rest for at least a week until your wounds have healed over and then you'll not be able to do much for five weeks after that. You had major abdominal surgery young lady. now lie down and be a good girl. I'll see if Miss Kavanaugh can be brought to you." Her tone changes from soft to sharp very quickly, at least she's not one of those yes people!

"I would like to see her now" I push.

"I'm sure you would but you need to be moved and you need rest. Its _MY JOB_ to make sure both those things happen first." She states firmly.

I sigh the haze is lifting from round me like the fog receding across a loch in the morning. My head throbs as I try to puzzle out what happened. My life feels fractured, I'm a jigsaw with pieces missing and no matter how hard I try I can't make out the bigger picture.

**Kate's POV**

ANA!

I wake in a cold sweat, the nightmarish visions receding from view. Those eyes, those glassy frozen eyes, lifeless staring eyes, they haunt me now. Every moment I can see them with every blink I take, they reach out to me, begging me to save them, but I can't! I need to, but I can't! Ana will know what to do. She'll make it better, she always does.

**Ana's POV**

"Okay Miss Steele, I'm going to move you to your room now." I nod at the small woman, she releases breaks under the bed and another woman helps wheel me along a corridor. I end up on the third floor in an enormous room. I can tell this is a new room as it smells of the new smell. I'm pushed in towards a large bed.

"Right Ana, if you hold still we will slide you over, don't move yourself." A familiar voice tells me. I look up and its Grace.

"On my count" bossy bitch takes over "one, two, three, slide" they glide me over to what appears to be a double bed. Grace moves all the wires and tubes that are connected to me.

"I'll finish up here Gloria" she dismisses, short, dumpy, bossy bitch. She hangs the IV bag and plugs me into the monitors, I see her fumble with something beneath the bed. I try to move to see what it is. "Just your catheter Ana" I flush pink. The door pushes open and a nurse pushes a wheelchair into the room. I'd recognise that hair anywhere.

"Kate?" I ask

"ANA!" She jumps from the chair and dives onto the bed beside me. The nurse and Grace leave us to have our moment. She sobs so hard, I feel her tears running down my chest meeting mine and flowing like a river. I stroke her hair and shush her. "I knew you'd save me, I knew it" she whispers as her eyes flutter shut.

I cozy down and try to get a bit of sleep, memories come back to me haunting my rest. I wake up screaming, feeling the weight of Sawyers dead body pinning me to the ground. I push and shove till the weight is gone and I can breathe. I open my eyelids and I'm in the hospital room. Kate is laying beside me still asleep, muttering things. She sits bolt upright and let's out a blood curdling scream, before she rips of her nightwear.

"Mia, please. No don't hurt me! Not my baby please! Ana!"

I press for the nurse and pull Kate's now slumped weeping body towards me.

"I'm right here Kate. I've got you. Your safe now." I whisper in her ear.

Her eyes pop open and she stares at me. "She was sorry... in the end, she said sorry." She sobs harder almost mourning the loss. I can't do much but hold her.

A nurse pops in.

"Everything okay?" Why are all the employees so bloody bright and bubbly here?

"I want Eli." Kate lifts her head and makes eye contact with bright and bubbly, "I want him NOW!" She yells, talk about 360° mood swings!

**Kate's POV**

I need Elliot, more now than I think I've ever needed him. I ease myself out of Ana's bed holding what's left of my pyjamas around me. I go to the other bed and find a small bag containing some clothes that look like they might fit me.

"Are these mine?" I turn to Ana.

"I think so, the nurse that brought you in put them there." She replied.

I begin to dress.

"Ana?"

"Yeah?" She flops her head on her pillows.

"Thanks", I pull on the maternity jeans and frilly pink maternity top, I swear if Eli picked this I'm gonna kill him!

"What for Kate?" She looks at me with a bemused expression.

"You saved my life. You were willing to sacrifice yourself for me. I can never repay that." I reply seriously. She looks taken aback.

"You don't have to honey, I love you, your my best friend and I would do it again for you." I can tell she's being completely sincere. "Unless your wearing that outfit! That is bloody awful!" She giggles.

I laugh too, it feels good, we don't even notice the door open until I do a twirl.

"Katie!" Eli' s arms hold me tightly. "I thought I'd lost you baby."

"I thought I'd lost me too. I'm not well Eli, but this isn't the type of hospital I need. I think I need a psychiatrist or psychologist to help me understand what I've been through and how to process it."

"I will get you whatever you need, I need you well for our baby and for yourself." I knew he'd understand.

"There's a new treatment facility, with world renowned specialists just opened about two miles from our new house. I want to go there."

"I'll arrange it for you then. We should be back in Scotland in a week or so." My heart sinks.

"No Eli. I'm going now. I can't wait for this. I'm going to speak to the doctor about flying and if it's safe I'm going tonight." He looks crushed but I can't think about him now, me and the baby are my priorities.

"Eli, If I'm unwell it could pass onto bubba. I can't bare that thought."

"Your right Katie , I'll make some calls and find your doctor." He walks silently from the room his head bowed.

"Your doing the right thing honey, he'll see that, it just might take some time." Ana's words echo in my ears.

"I don't have time, I'm falling apart. I shut my eyes and I'm in that room, I can smell it, I feel the stickiness on my flesh, my clothes, my hair. I see you fall down, you look dead. He throws himself over you and then. BANG! BANG! I see his eyes, devoid of emotion staring at me. I believe you are dead too, I'm on my own with her. I see her sneering, hear her laugh and then, to top it all I feel her pain Ana! That's the worst bit, I see it playing across her face, like her mask falls away. I see her tortured soul laid bare to me. She looks me straight in the eye as she throws one gun away, gives me a message for her family then blows her own brains out. That is the scenario that plays out every time I close my eyes! So as much time as Elliot wants for himself, I can't give him it. I just can't." I feel myself falling as the sobs rack my body. I'm lifted onto the bed, a sharp stab in the arm and I'm gone again, into the never ending darkness.

**Ana's POV**

Kate is melting down in front of me, I press my call button again and again and again. Hurry the fuck up. I feel so useless as she tells me what plays on her mind. Elliot is standing in the doorway as she lets rip, Christian just behind him. The pained expressions on their faces are as clear as day. Kate is screeching now, her whole body convulsing with every sob she lets go. I see her knees buckle from beneath her. Eli pounced and caught her. The two brothers lift her onto the bed, she's still screaming. Tears are flowing down my face. Then the doctor comes in and injects Kate. She takes Elliot out to the hall to have a chat.

"Is she okay?" I ask Christian, who is loitering between us both.

"I don't know Ana. She's asleep if that's what you mean." He wipes away the tears that have escaped his eyes.

Bright and bubbly nurse walks back in, pushing a machine on a trolley towards Kate.

"What are you doing to her?" I pounce.

"It's a foetal monitor, we need to be sure baby is coping with mommy's emotional state."

She proceeds to put two large elastic bands round Kate's beautiful bump. She plugs them in and the room is filled with a whooshing noise.

"What's that? Is that Kate's baby?" The nurse nods but doesn't smile. Gone is bright and breezy. I shiver.

"You okay baby? Cold?" I shake my head as not so bright and breezy rushes out the room.

"Something's wrong, I can feel it."

Bright and breezy is back with another nurse and a doctor, Elliot has joined them. Another trolley is wheeled into the room. They pull a privacy curtain around the bed.

The whooshing stops abruptly. I listen to the hushed voices.

"I want Ana's opinion, she'll know what Kate would do." Elliott voice booms. The curtain is pulled back. I see a probe being pushed into Kate's bump and the image of a baby on the screen.

"What's wrong Elliot, what's wrong with the baby?"

"They think," his voice breaks "that she has cancer"

"Kate?" The tears drip from my eyes.

"No, the baby. She has a growth on her back, they want to deliver her now." The pain radiates off him in waves. I look over at Kate.

"Your not taking my baby" Kate's eyes jump open and her arms encompass her bump. "I'll never forgive you if you let them do this Eli..." She slumps back down, into exhaustion.

"You heard her back off, leave my fiancée alone!" Elliot tells them.

"We can't let her go to term with this pregnancy, it's too risky for her and your daughter." The doctor argues. "The baby's heart is already showing signs of trouble, be that from your partners emotional state or the growth, we don't know. My professional recommendation is to deliver at 34 weeks."

"I'll keep that in mind, now can she fly?"

"Her mental state is questionable but as for the baby, a flight couldn't cause any more harm." I think this doc knows when he's beaten.

"Get me her discharge papers then, and a fit to fly note for the airline" Eliot barks at bright and breezy. She shuffles off out the room.

"You can use the GEH plane. I'll have a nurse on board for you." Christian offers.

"Thanks bro, can you explain to Mom and Dad about missing Christmas."

"Yeah sure, your not going to the funeral then?" He enquires

"Hell no! Did you not hear Kate? Anyway my future wife and child are at risk here, I need to get them well before I even consider thinking about Mia." Elliot's impassioned words fill me with hope, I'm glad Kate found him, they are perfect together.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

It's been a week since Kate has left, she's had scans of the baby done at Yorkhill Hospital by the eminent Dr. Rolon, a specialist in neonatal birth defects. The baby has a large cyst that will be removed shortly after birth. Kate has been in the treatment facility and Elliot assures us she is doing much better. I've been seeing Dr Flynn about what has happened and although it's hard to talk about and I still have nightmares, it's getting better. I got home yesterday, and thank God for Internet shopping or else I'd have nothing for anyone! I'm walking with a cane, I feel kind of stupid but, if it's good enough for doctor Gregory House on TV then it's good enough for me too!

Gail has been amazing too, she brought me a meal every night I was in the hospital! She also wrapped all my gifts for me, I swear she's the older sister I never had, it's weird that's she's only 31 and widowed. She told me the story of Mr Jones and how he was in the army. I automatically assumed he'd been killed in Iraq or Afghanistan or some other war, but no he was on leave and he was stabbed in the street. The knife had punctured his heart. Gail was only 23 then, four years later she started working for Christian and met Jason Taylor and the rest is history.

Carrick has been to see me, he got home the day Kate and Elliot left. He told me stories about Christian as a child, and how he couldn't say Elliot so called him Lelliot! How cute is that? He also apologised to me for Mia. There was no need for that and I told him so.

Grace has been in and out all the time, between her and Mum they have the fussing all taken care of.

Mum and Dad come in every day with Scarlett. She seems to grow every night, and she is a beautiful child. I'm not allowed to hold her which makes me sad, but I know I will soon.

Christian has been strangely absent, even when he's been here it's like he's somewhere else. I can only assume it's his work bugging him. He's back full time at the helm and looks more stressed than I've ever seen him. He keeps the mood light when he does talk, and if I ask about work I'm shut down very quickly. I've stopped asking, he'll tell me when he's ready to share.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx

We are speeding along the road to Bellevue on Christmas day. Christian is brooding out the window, ignoring me again. He barely spoke to me at all yesterday.

"Penny for them?"

"Huh?" He looks over at me.

"Your thoughts. Penny for them" I repeat.

"It's nothing, just some work stuff." He sighs.

"If you want to talk, you know where I am." He turns back to the window, resting his head against it. We sit in silence, with a gulf the size of the grand canyon growing between us.

**Christian's POV**

I rest my head against the window and watch the scenery whizz by. This last week has been awful. I couldn't look at Ana for the shame I felt, let alone talk to her. GEH has slipped too, Mia seems to have weaved some tangled webs a few look almost illegal, fortunately dad has paperwork to prove I wasn't there. There are also a few million dollars missing, I've had Welch and Barney going through all employees hired by her and looking into all the deals signed off by her. There is something very wrong with the ones I've seen. Companies bought and sold with tiny profit margins, yet I know the companies were bought for less and sold for more, she's been skimming money, but as yet I haven't found it. The Seattle police department have been sniffing round. They know there have been bogus deals going through my company, but as I'm cooperating fully and have the paperwork proving I wasn't here, they are happy to let me chase the money myself. Barney is working with S.P.D's fraud team. They are due to report to me within the next two weeks. I have a strong feeling of instability and Ana hasn't been here. I can't burden her with all this shit floating about in my head. She has enough to deal with on her own.

"Penny for them?"

"Huh?" I pretend not to hear her.

"Your thoughts. Penny for them" She smiles patiently at me. I can't put this on her

"Its Nothing. It's just some work stuff." I turn away from her before she can press me more. Ana could get blood out a stone.

Next week I have two funerals to attend. The first is Luke Sawyer's, the man that saved my Ana's life. I wish I could have repaid him in some other way than giving him the greatest send off possible.

The other one will be the hardest day of my life. I have to bury my baby sister, I've been talking through my feelings of confusion with Flynn. How can I still want to mourn the monster that tried to ruin my life?

I've been worried sick about Katherine and Elliot, I saw how much her ordeal scarred her. It caused me to have flashbacks to that little cottage of hell with Maria and Jack. I know exactly how she feels. Then to have that incompetent fool tell them their baby had cancer?! I gave a very large donation to the Yorkhill Hospital for the best doctor in the world to see them. When Ana and I have children we will have them there.

Ana and I? Who am I kidding? We are barely speaking. I'm scared to share a bed with her. My heart breaks every time I see her. I should have prevented this, I should have protected her, not Sawyer. I should have died in that apartment. Every time I look at her the guilt washes over me, followed by the shame that I have hurt her in every way possible, yet I can't leave her. She deserves so much better than I can ever give her, but I need her, more than the air I breathe. I suffocate when she's not around, but there is an open chasm between us, sucking up our entire world, a chasm that won't close until Mia's final acts of revenge are laid bare.

**A/N: Not long to go now. This story will finish at the strike of midnight on 31st December. There may be a sequel depending on the reactions at the end of this one. Big, huge shout out to princessrolon for being my wonderful beta and sounding board! Also thanks to my girls in Fifty Shades of Grey Fanfiction Group on Facebook. You all know who you are! **

**Thanks for reading if you could take two seconds to leave a review, even if it's just one word you'd make my day.**

**See you soon as my muse has got itself back in gear!**

**CarrieJ x**


	38. Merry Christmas

**Christian's POV**

We draw up to Bellevue still distant from each other. Taylor opens the door and I jump out, I reach back and take Ana's hand. I pull her close to me, the closest we have been since everything happened. I place a gentle kiss on the top of her head and she wraps her arms around me.

"I've missed you" she mumbles into my chest. "Merry Christmas" she nuzzles my neck.

"I'm sorry baby, we'll talk at home later." I tip her head up and stare into her sapphire stained orbs. "Merry Christmas, I love you baby" I lower my lips to hers, gently lovingly, she pushes hungrily against me, her tongue trying to gain entrance to my mouth, I oblige as our kiss heats up. I've missed this, I've missed her. I lift her into my arms and she wraps her legs round me, we are dry humping against the car in front of my parents house.

"Ahem" I hear behind us. Ana pushes me off and I lower her gently down. I look over at a smirking Carla Steele.

Ana is walking over to her with her cane in hand. Steps! Why are there so many steps to the front door? I see her hesitate. I scoop her into my arms

"Allow me Miss Steele" a rosy glow eminates from her cheeks. Taylor follows us into the house with the two large sacks of gifts we have brought.

We follow Carla into my Moms good sitting room, there is a small tree in the corner with some flashing lights but nothing like the traditional Grey Christmas. I suppose it won't be traditional again... I shut my mind off, I won't think about her today, I can't let a ghost ruin this.

"And where have you two been?" Ray Steeles voice booms. "If you must cavort with my daughter don't do it where I can see you or I might have to kill you!" He laughs, no one else does. Ana's face falls, tears threaten to spill from her eyes. I pull her tight into me. "Ana, sweetheart, I... I didn't, I mean, I wasn't, I'm sorry! Me and my big mouth."

"It's okay Dad. I'm fine, really" she is shaking like a leaf and any colour she had in her cheeks before is long gone. She's gripping my arm that tight her knuckles are white.

"I'll take you home now if you want, we don't have to be here." I whisper to her.

"Can we just give the gifts and see how things go?" I nod. Her grip loosens a little but not much. I sit at the end of the large sofa that dominates the room, Ana scrunches herself in beside me. A loud thud comes from the kitchen

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screams at the top of her lungs. Our parents exchange worried glances. Ana cowers beside me burying herself in my chest.

"It's okay baby, it was just a tray being dropped. Taylor is here as are Prescott, and two new guards, Wilson and Jones. That is just our guards Mom and Dad have a team here too." She blinks up at me nervously. "Will we exchange gifts now?" She nods still holding tight.

**Ana's POV**

The apprehension hit me as soon as I walked in the front door. My nerves began to jangle. Flynn says I need to confront these feelings so I put my head down and stay close to Christian. We are just in the door when my dad goes off on one about cavorting under his nose, and then he threatens to kill Christian.

I instinctively grab him, throwing myself in front of him to protect him. I feel the tears pricking at my eyes. My dad pales and mutters some apology, I don't listen I want to leave! I feel Christian's warm breath on my face.

"It's okay Dad. I'm fine, really" I don't know why I said that! Every part of me wants to get the fuck out of here!

"I can take you home now if you want, we don't have to be here." My body screams yes, but I know I have to stick this out a bit longer.

"Can we just give the gifts then see how things go?" He gives me a curt nod before dragging me to the couch. I ball myself up and curl into him. His arms hold me, and I relax a bit.

BANG

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream, a shot, who fired it? Is someone hurt? Why is no one moving? Oh god what is going on? I cover Christian's body with my own no one can get him now, he's mine, I'll protect and defend him.

"It's okay baby, it was just a tray being dropped. Taylor is here as are Prescott, and two new guards, Wilson and Jones. That is just our guards Mom and Dad have a team here too" is he lying to me? I can feel the panic rising in my belly. "Will we exchange gifts now?" I nod dubiously still holding tight, protecting what's mine.

I see the stares being exchanged around me. Taylor brings me over my bag of gifts.

"I didn't get out shopping, so I hope you like what I got you." My voice sounds weak and fragile, I mentally chastise myself for it. I, well Christian, passes out the gifts I got, I got Carrick a Mont Blanc pen, Grace a bottle of Chanel No.5, for Dad I got little bits of home, some whisky miniatures, a haggis, a bunnet, and a new sporran. Mum's gift was easy, I got her booked into a spa for a weekend, Wee Scarlett, I got three frilly dresses with matching knickers, and some rattles and teddies. I didn't bring Christian's present with me, I want to give it to him in private. I her hugs and kisses from everyone as the gift giving goes on. I let my guard down a bit and sit next to Christian rather than on him. Mum and Dad give me a beautiful gold locket, inside are two baby photos one of me with Mum and Dan and the other of me with Scarlett and Mum.

"It's beautiful, thank you" Christian secures the chain round my neck.

"Now where ever you will be, your family will always be with you." I jump out my seat and hurl myself into Mum's arms. The tears pour from my eyes as all my pent up emotion lets itself out. My impenetrable dam has been broken by the love of my family, I cry and cry until there is nothing left, I'm exhausted.

"Do you want to go for a rest here or at home?" Christian asks me gently

"Home please" I feel him lift me. I can't even raise my drooping lids to say goodbye.

**Christian's POV**

I carry my sleeping beauty to the car. Taylor gets behind the wheel and whistles us back to Escala. The other security is behind us. My head is whirring at a million miles an hour. Ana's hand is clamped round her locket holding it to her heart, my whole being calms as I watch her slumber gently. I place a delicate kiss on her rosebud lips. She presses back murmuring in her sleep.

"I'll protect you" she whispers. I'm taken aback she's the one that needs protection not me! I ponder her mutterings the rest of the way home.

I hold her tiny diminishing frame next to me as we rise swiftly to our penthouse in the sky. I place her on our bed and sit and watch her sleep. She's so calm, I leave her in peace and head into my office. I re-read the eulogy I wrote for Luke's funeral tomorrow. I struggled to write it, how do I put into words how I feel about the man that sacrificed himself to save my Ana? I'm interrupted by a knock.

"Come" I shout annoyed.

"Sir, I have some information for you, Welch and Barney have been doing some digging and well, if I may be candid sir" I nod "she's fucked you right over. She has at least three accomplices that we know of so far."

"Who are they?" I try to keep my tone neutral, but I hear the venomous edge creeping in.

"The first is a GEH employee Mr George Frank's, sir, he's in accounting, it's his account that has been wiring money out." That weasly scumbag! I take a deep breath and motion Taylor to continue. "The second is a Leila Williams sir, she works at Seattle Independent Publishing, we believe she may have worked closely with Miss Steele." I'm seething with rage. They schemed to set Ana up! "We don't know that much about the third person, we know it's an older female, but she's been careful sir, her name is on nothing, but it looks like she's the master puppeteer and has been playing all of them for fools. She knew Jack, Maria, Mia, Leila and George. She seems to have you as a target sir"

"What's her name Taylor?" I spit, although I know what's coming

"Elena Lincoln sir." That bitch, I knew she was fucking mental, I didn't realise that she was off the fucking planet.

"Do the fraud squad know?"

"No, she is not tied to anything, she's manipulated everyone else into taking the fall sir."

"No one, and I repeat, no one is to hear about this. I will deal with her once and for all. Taylor, that includes Miss Steele, she's to know nothing, the less anyone knows the better. You can go"

He drops some files on my desk and leaves the room. I scan through them. I'll read them thoroughly later. I get my mind focused back on the eulogy.

**Ana's POV**

"...that includes Miss Steele, she's to know nothing, the less anyone knows the better. You can go."

I quickly run back to my room. What's he hiding from me? I had guessed there was something, but now I know for sure.

**Christian's POV**

I read my words again there's something missing. I feel Ana's presence behind me.

"What are you doing?" She inquires.

"Nothing, well, next to nothing. I wasn't going to tell you but Mrs Sawyer has asked me to deliver the eulogy tomorrow, but it's not right. Somethings missing." She scans over the document before she begins to recite a poem from memory

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there, I did not die!" she whispers the beautiful words softly.

"It's perfect. How do you know it?"

"We studied funeral poetry on my course course my favourite was always 'Funeral Blues' by WH Auden but it's not appropriate here, this one is by Mary Frye and fits perfectly"

I see a silent tear zig zag down her cheek. I wipe it away and pull her close.

Her lips find mine in a haze of emotion. There is no panic, no forcefulness just a need to be held and loved. I pick her up, our lips not breaking contact, and carry her through to the bed. Slowly we peel off our layers, exposing our raw emotions to each other. Ana's body lies bruised and broken beneath me, I need to heal her, I pour all the love I have into our kiss.

**Ana's POV**

I lie naked staring up at him, his scars glint at me in the moonlight, he presses his lips to mine, kissing me gently and sweetly. I caress his chest, he flinches as I stroke his scars, one after the other. I feel his hands roaming down to my bandages, he runs his fingers round the edges and glides his hands over them, it feels like magic, erasing the pain, replacing it with love. His lips gently pepper my face and neck with tiny little kisses. I wriggle beneath him, and stroke down his back. Gliding my hands over his scars, his eyes shine with unshed tears. We are not fucking, we are making love, healing each other in the process.

**Christian's POV**

I pull her body close to mine pressing my flesh against her, my body feels complete as she holds me close, stroking my ugly reminders of Mia. I want to complete our connection, and sink into her and give her all the love I have, but only when she's ready for it. She hooks her arms round my neck, and runs her fingers through my hair,

"I love you" she whispers as she pulls my mouth to hers. I feel her passion, her carnal need for this moment, as her tongue slips into my mouth, I moan as she thrust her hips beneath me, rubbing her juices all over me. I put my hand down and slide it between our melding bodies, sliding it towards her dripping wet core.

**Ana's POV**

His hand pushes its way towards my clit, I moan in anticipation of his touch. He sinks a finger inside me, my hips jerk up in response, I'm on a different level of consciousness, where only feeling matters. The pad of his thumb grazes over me, slowly and gently. My hips buck again.

"Faster" I murmur into his mouth. He obliges, my body kicks into overdrive, I crave his penis inside me, I want to feel it touch my blackened soul. I push his hand away.

"Are you sure you want this baby?" He pants, his eyes full of concern and love.

"Yes" I nod emphatically.

He plunges into me, slow and deep. I am a quagmire of sensations. I want this to last forever, I feel our connection growing stronger with every exquisite thrust. Tears blind me, as all my emotions are played out, I am the instrument and Christian is my conductor. I feel my orgasm building in intensity, ready to unleash everything I have, it ebbs closer and closer.

**Christian's POV**

I glide slowly in and out, caressing her vagina, worshiping it, worshiping her. I see her tear stained face and want to wash it all away, I can feel she's close, I maintain my rhythm. Her nails dig into my ass, pushing me down faster, I build my speed and her body responds, she pulls my mouth to hers, with a ferocity I've not seen from her before. My heart quickens, I hold off my orgasm, her inner walls are shaking. We break from our kiss and I can't hold off any more, I come loudly, crying out her name.

**Ana's POV**

I can feel his clock twitching, he's going to

"Ana!" He screams as my own orgasm detonates around me.

I'm floating above my body, I can see it, pulsating as wave upon wave of pure love crashes over it. I see the tears spilling from my eyes, I feel them. I feel all the emotion of our entire relationship play out through my body. I feel the love, the joy, the passion, the anger, the pain and the frustration all at the same time. I'm still looking down on myself, why am I not awake, I should be back down, but the emotions push me higher and further than I've ever been. I feel them slowly ebb away as Christian lays loving kisses on my lips, I force them to respond, my consciousness floats back down into my body. I open my eyes, as if it's the first time I've ever seen. I wrap my arms around Christian's neck.

"Do you want your present now?" I ask still basking in the afterglow of our love making.

"Mmmmm." He murmurs faintly nodding his head.

I slide out the bed and slip into the wardrobe. I pull out his gift and walk back over to the bed.

He tears off the paper and gawps at his gift

"Is this?" I nod "You..."

"With a little help from my friends." I grin

He pulls me into his arms

"It's the best present anyone has ever given me. I love you so much Anastasia Steele."

"I love you too"

We cuddle back in and fall asleep.

**Christian's POV**

I lie holding the greatest, strongest woman I've ever known in my arms. Her gift is amazing, she knows me so well. I pull out the red velvet box from under the pillow and slip it in my bedside drawer. She stole my thunder tonight but I have a plan, my woman deserves the biggest and best romantic proposal I can give her.

I'll deal with Elena later, I knew I should have taken her down when I had the chance, but now, I'm not just going to take her down I'm going to crush her like the scum she is. It may take a while but I can be patient, I'm good at the long game and Mrs Lincoln better be watching her back from now on. I'm coming for you Elena...

**A/N: Ooooooh someone's made Christian angry! Hope you liked the twist! If I'm honest even I didn't see that one coming! Reviews are appreciated, I think/hope I replied to all of my reviewers. I really appreciate your feedback so please leave some, you inspire me to continue on this wild adventure! I would really like to know if you'd appreciate a follow-up to this one. I'm undecided at the moment. Feel free to PM me or add me on Facebook: Carriej Fanfic or on Twitter: carriej56fanfic**

**See you soon**

**CarrieJ x**


	39. The Funeral of Luke Sawyer

**Christian's POV**

I awaken holding Ana tight to my chest. I wish we could lie here forever and that today would never come. I glance at the clock beside me. It's six thirty, later than I'd usually get up, I gently lift Ana off my chest and onto the bed. She sighs and rolls over, content to sleep the day away.

I ease out of bed and head into the en suite. I shower quickly, have a shave and I'm ready for the day. I stride into my closet and look out my black suit for later, I see Ana's black dress hanging waiting. I pull on a t-shirt and jeans and head into my office.

I read my eulogy out loud again, ensuring that I don't fluff it up later. My thoughts turn to Mrs Lincoln and her sadistic plans to crush me. I read the files Taylor brought me last night, I can trace my money through each one of them apart from Elena, she's been clever this time. I read through every document I have on her, bank records, personnel files, criminal records, I have, what looks like on the surface, a full disclosure of her but nothing adds up! I go through her businesses and all the money she made and it doesn't tally, her profits seem much higher than the amount of business she's doing. I throw the documents down, they have been altered! The bitch must have an IT spy in GEH too. It's the only thing that would make sense.

I stride out my office looking for Taylor. I find him in the security control room.

"She has another spy" I announce

"Yes sir, I think so too. Miss Grey did not hire for the IT department though sir."

"Shit! That means the spy has been watching for a while. I want Welch and Barney checking through all the GEH servers for excess emails, copies of memos, copies of anything going externally that shouldn't. I need to know ASAP." If someone got hold of any of that information GEH could and would be a very vulnerable company.

"Yes sir, I will contact Welch today sir. Barney is out of state visiting relatives until after the new year." Barney? Would he have the balls? I know for a fact he doesn't like me, but would he risk his career?

"Fine, have Welch do it, and have him check Barney first." Taylor nods.

"Yes sir."

**Ana's POV**

My eyes flutter open, I reach out for Christian and he's not there. I roll onto my back and sigh. I don't want today to happen. I can't even imagine what his family is going through, they must all hate me though.

I rub my face and sit up. I catch sight of my reflection in the mirror, I look like shit, with the worst case of bedhead I've ever seen! I mentally chastise myself for caring about myself today, I jump out from under the covers and go into the bathroom. I take a quick shower and dress in my underwear before I head into the wardrobe. I see Christian has laid out his black suit and tie. I pull my black shift dress on with its matching short jacket. I put on a pair of black Jimmy Choo court shoes. I straighten my hair and put it in a french plait, keeping it back out of my eyes. I put on a bit of blush and leave everything else be, I know I'll cry and I don't want to attract any attention. I stand and look in the full length mirror. I look plain, my face is pale and I have puffy eyes already, I didn't even notice the tears before. I grab a tissue and dab them away quickly before turning and walking out into the living area. I head over to the kitchen where I can hear Christian and Gail's voices speaking in hushed tones. They look up as I approach.

"Morning Ana, you look..." He pauses as he looks me up and down "beautiful" he finishes. I sigh.

"Thanks, I suppose. I just want today to be over." I snap. Gail's eyes flare in surprise.

"Can I get you anything to eat Ana?" She asks coolly.

"No thanks Gail, I'm not hungry. I just want to go and say goodbye to the man that saved my life." I burst into tears again. Christian wraps his arms around me tightly, pulling me close. I rest my head on his chest.

"You need to eat baby, you'll need the strength today." He says as he rests his head on top of mine. "Gail she'll have some pancakes and bacon, with a cup of decaf tea."

"Yes sir, I'll just get it for you." Gail busies herself whipping up batter.

"Who is going today?" I ask quietly, not quite ready to pull my head from his chest.

"Erm, I'm not sure baby, I know that most of my security personnel will be in attendance, Gail and Taylor too, Mom and Dad might be there too. I really don't know though baby."

"Oh okay." I pull away from his chest and out of his arms. I walk around the room fidgeting with ornaments, and moving cushions. I lift a small white fluffy pillow up and proceed to punch and punch and punch it. I don't realise I'm sagging on the floor until I see feet in front of me.

"Are you okay Ana?" He asks.

"Am I okay? Am I okay? What the fuck do you think? I'm going to the funeral of the man that saved my life! I feel guilt, I feel shame, I feel fucking awful! So NO I DON'T FEEL OKAY! I SHOULD BE DEAD RIGHT NOW!" I throw up where I'm sitting. I stand and run towards the toilet where I continue to wretch for the next ten minutes or so. I know Christian is behind me, standing waiting for me to stop. I sit up and wipe my mouth on the tissue he hands me.

**Christian's POV**

I stand back and watch as Ana breaks down. I've been expecting it to happen, in my last session with Flynn we discussed the possibility of a breakdown due to the stress of today, not that tomorrow will be a picnic. I follow her into the bathroom and watch on silently as dry heaves rack her body. She sits back on her haunches and I hand her a tissue. She wipes her mouth.

"Better?" I ask.

"Not really, what do I say to his family Christian? Sorry your son died protecting me? They must hate me!" She sobs.

"No one hates you baby." I reassure her. She stands up and cleans her teeth.

"You should get changed, it must be nearly time to go"

"Yeah it is" I give her a kiss on the forehead "please try to eat something for me." She nods. I leave her and head into the bedroom. I slip on my black Armani suit that I got specifically for today. I'm just tying my tie when there is a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

"It's time sir" Taylor calls. I feel my heart sink.

I walk into the great room and place my arm around my girlfriend's waist. She drops her head on my shoulder. We head towards the elevator followed by Taylor and Gail. Welch has sent two new recruits over to stay in Escala while we are out. A skeleton security crew will be on guard at GEH. Welch is meeting us at the church.

The car journey is short and tense. I feel Ana's body stiffening beside me. Gail is discreetly wiping her eyes with a tissue. Taylor holds open the door and I climb out first into the media circus. Flashbacks go off all around us as Ana and Gail step out of the vehicle. Taylor and Prescott push the paparazzi back as we enter. The church is small and quaint and we make our way up the aisle towards the Sawyers.

"Mr Sawyer, Mrs Sawyer, I'd like to offer you our sincere condolences for your loss" Mrs Sawyer embraces me.

"Thank you Mr Grey. Luke always spoke fondly of yourself and Miss Steele, he loved his job." She begins to cry again, Mr Sawyer stands up and takes his wife from me.

I lead Ana to our seats just behind the Sawyers. Gail and Taylor sit beside us. The service passes in a blur of tears, my tension builds as we head to the graveside. The press has stopped following us due to the amount of security in attendance.

I carry the coffin along with Taylor and some of Sawyers friends. We place it down and the minister says a few more words before I stand to read my eulogy. My stomach is tied up in knots and I'm suddenly not the big hotshot CEO, I'm just plain nervous. I begin.

"We are all here today to honour Luke Sawyer, employee, friend, son and brother. Luke was a great guy, he'd do anything for anyone. He always had a friendly smile and he loved his work. He served and protected..." My voice catches and I have to say what's eating away at me. "Sorry, I can't stand here and do this, I'm so sorry, Mr and Mrs Sawyer your son shouldn't have died, if only..." I feel myself crumbling, my wits scatter around me. I feel Ana at my side gently nudging me out of the way.

**Ana's POV**

Christian steps up to begin his eulogy. He seems jittery and off.

"We are all here today to honour Luke Sawyer, employee, friend, son and brother. Luke was a great guy, he'd do anything for anyone. He always had a friendly smile and he loved his work. He served and protected" his voice cracks, I think he's losing it. "Sorry, I can't stand here and do this, I'm so sorry, Mr and Mrs Sawyer your son shouldn't have died, if only..." I have to stop him. I step up beside him and push him away.

"Sorry, I feel I should say something. Luke Sawyer saved my life, without him I wouldn't be here today. For that reason he is the greatest, most selfless man I've ever had the pleasure to have known. I'd like to read you all a poem poem by Mary Frye that I think Luke would have liked.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there, I did not die!"

I finish to complete silence. I move away to the side walking towards Christian. I feel arms being wrapped around me.

"Thank you Miss Steele that was beautiful Luke would have loved that." Mrs Sawyer whispers in my ear.

"I wish I could do more for you Mrs Sawyer."

"Just keep living your life, never take anything for granted. Live for now, that was Luke's motto, please follow that and you'll be honoring my son in the best way possible." I can only nod as I hold her tight. The tears pour down both our faces. "Now go and look after your boyfriend, he needs you honey as much as you need him" I nod and move away, her words echoing round my head.

I run into Christian's arms pressing my face to his chest. I hold him close until it's time to leave and head to the wake.

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long, I'm trying to put off ending it if I'm honest! I'll hopefully get part two of this Chapter out soon (fingers crossed) I just thought you all deserved this one as soon as it was done, it's not betaed sorry, my mistakes may slip through my own proof reading. Thank you to all my faithful reviewers you make my day x To any new readers I'd love feedback! Thanks for reading**

**See you soon**

**CarrieJ x**


	40. Confessions

**Christian's POV**

Ana hasn't left my arms since the graveside, I'm grateful to her for that, today made me realise how short life is and how important Ana is to me I couldn't be without her now. I thought I'd loved Maria but that was nothing compared to the depth of emotions I feel for the woman in my arms. I stroke her hair as she snuggles into my chest, one of her hands over my heart and the other holding the back of my neck. I feel a gentle pull and her mouth is on mine, hungrily devouring me, making me whole again.

We don't stay long at the wake, the day has been emotionally draining. I know tomorrow will be worse, I'm yet to discuss it with Ana which has been playing on my mind. My Mom wants me to be a pall bearer and has Elliot flying in to be one too. Fuck knows how she convinced him to do that. I did hope he might have appeared today but no such luck.

"Are you ready to go baby" I ask the emotionally drained woman in my arms.

"Yeah, can we go home, I'm glad I came. Sawyer got the send off he deserved." I follow her gaze across the room. Everyone is chatting and sharing Sawyer stories, eating, drinking and being merry. Sawyers parents went home an hour ago. Taylor is in the middle of a throng of men sharing anecdotes, Gail is standing alone to one side nursing a drink in her hand.

"I'll call Prescott to get us." I stand and walk away from the noise to make my call.

I pull out my cell and see I have five missed calls and two messages from Welch. Damn. I read through the messages.

From: Welch, G

To: Grey, C

Subject: Re: Anomalies

Date: December 26 2012. 3.47PM

Sir I have found anomalies in Barneys accounts. I will send a report ASAP

Chief of Security

Grey Enterprises Holdings

From: Welch, G

To: Grey, C

Subject: Fw: Report

Date: December 26 2012. 3.53PM

(Attached file: Security report on Sullivan, B.)

Sir, report attached as stated in last email.

G. Welch

Chief of Security

Grey Enterprises Holdings

I skim through the contents, nothing much in the first two pages.

Shit!

**Ana's POV**

I wait at our table for Christian's return, he's been gone for ages, no doubt sidetracked by someone or by his company. I notice Gail standing alone at the bar, I slip my coat on and make my way towards her.

"Gail?"

"Oh hi Ana." She slurs. She's obviously drunk, I've never seen her act any way other than professional.

"Erm, we're going now, are you okay or would you like a lift home?" She looks at me like I've grown horns.

"Home? Home? It's not home to me honey, I'm the hired fucking help! Look where that got Luke, six feet under, and your asking if I want to go home? No you silly silly girl I don't!" She's screeching at me now, Taylor has come to her side and is trying to calm her.

"Gail, sweety, I think you've had enough!" He pulls the glass from her hand

"I've had nowhere near enough Jason, don't go acting like Grey on me. I'm not afraid of _either _of you! I'm done with this bullshit, I'm fucking done!" She picks her glass back up, downs the contents, then smashes it across the floor. Before turning and staggering out the room, Taylor hot on her heels.

Christian chooses this moment to walk in looking like he's seen a ghost. Everyone stares at him, he appears not to notice so I walk over and we head out. Walking past a sobbing Gail and Taylor in the foyer of the hotel.

The car journey is quick and we are in Escala before I realise.

"Okay Christian what's wrong? Somethings eating at you and you need to tell me what it is." His eyes flare in surprise.

"I'm just worried about tomorrow." He says quietly.

"I don't believe you. Something is going on and you'd better tell me right now Christian Grey or so help me I'll spank it out of you!" I say sternly, asserting my dominance.

"Elena Lincoln"

"What? Who the hell is Elena Lincoln when she's at home? What the fuck does she have to do with you?"

"Elena was one of my mother's friends when I was a kid. She tried to get me to do things with her..."

"What did she try to get you to do?" I know already I'm not going to like the answer.

"She abused me Anastasia. Sexually." I feel all the blood draining from my body.

"How old were you?"

"Nearly sixteen." Every answer prompts a new question in my head.

"When did it stop?"

"When I was approaching seventeen." I feel the bile rising in my throat.

"What does she want now?"

"To destroy me, and everything I love, including you" his head is in his hands and his shoulders hunch forward.

"Why though? If anyone should want revenge it's you surely?"

"I did, so I took it. I told her husband. He cut her off from him, his money and his influence most of all he took their children away from her. She's hated me ever since."

"Her husband's reaction is normal it's her that's not! She's a disgusting human being!" I almost yell.

"Don't you think I know this Anastasia? I've seen enough shrinks in my life! I could have finished her, you know, I had an opportunity, she had started a small business and I could have used the might of GEH to crush it but I didn't. I wish I had!"

"I don't understand though Christian. Is she behind Mia and Jack?"

"She's been the puppet master the whole time, she's created bogus companies and got them through GEH, I'm being investigated for fraud from when Mia was in charge, I've just found out one of my most trusted employees works for her, my business will sink and I will be ruined unless I beat her at her own game. GEH is on its knees Ana and I don't know how to save her." I sit and try to absorb the new information. My Christian was abused and is continuing to be abused by this bitch, I won't be a pawn in her game.

"How does she know everything?"

"She has spies throughout my companies even a girl Leila, to watch you"

"You fucking what?! Right this bitch is going down! Let's feed the spies some bogus information..."

"They'll see through it Ana, they are clever people."

"Clever enough to take us on and fail every time. Now will you listen to me on this and trust me?"

"I always trust you baby."

"Right we need Elliot, the name of a majorly failing Scottish business, and some convincing emails..."

"You really want to do this?" He looks incredulous.

"I'd do anything for you Christian." He smiles and holds me in his arms. I feel him sweep my legs out from under me and carry me into the bedroom. He deposits me on the bed and I can feel his desire pulsing round the room.

**Christian's POV**

I watch her closely as I deposit her on the bed, her small delicate feminine beauty, swamped in my oppressive masculine bedroom. She moves her arms and legs and I'm having a surreal 'American Beauty' moment, all that's missing is the rose petals. My beautiful Ana, the woman I want forever.

"Are you gonna stand and stare at me forever?" She asks coyly, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously at me.

"I'm just enjoying the view" she undresses herself slowly, writhing around on my bed, feeling herself whilst staring at me.

"You joining me or am I going to have to do it myself..." She cocks her eyebrow at me.

"Oh no baby, I want to taste you." I walk towards her and she sits up licking her looks at me with the same desire as a woman lost in the desert looks at water. As I get closer her hands reach for my shirt. She rips it open and tugs it from my body, I feel my cuff links scraping down my wrists and nearly ripping the flesh from my palms. She whips my belt from round my waist, she coils it and places it beside her. She yanks my trousers down with such force I almost fall over.

"Mmmm" she runs her tongue back and forth over her lips as she frees my erection from my underwear.

She pulls me close and pulls my lips to hers passionately. She nibbles her way along my jaw and up to my ear. I feel her warm breath caressing my skin as she strokes my lobe with her tongue. She glides her lips down my body sucking on my nipples, gently biting and tugging them. She kisses my pecs, then my abs, she swirls her tongue like a vortex in my naval. She nips her way down further avoiding my erection, pulling my testicles into her mouth one at a time, rolling them round and round. She stops and blows gently on my penis, she looks up at me all wide eyed and innocent as she grabs me and pulls me into her mouth. She bobs gently up and down, my hands fly into her hair, tugging and pulling as she moves. Her speed varying with every stroke of her luscious mouth. My hips buck and thrust into her, she accepts my intrusion, sucking greedily. I release her head and she grabs my hips and pulls me in tighter so I can feel the back of her throat, she slides right to the tip before slamming me forwards to the back of her throat. I feel the pulsing running trough me, I'm close so fucking close. I know she can tell. She blinks up at me as she bares her teeth and forces me into a spiraling, spasmic orgasm that causes me to collapse forwards onto the bed.

**Ana's POV**

I swallow down all his salty fluid, just before he lurches forwards, crashing onto the bed, his eyes scrunched tightly shut as he rides the waves of his orgasm. His body quivering and hips thrusting into the mattress, lucky mattress! I give him a couple of moments to recover before I roll him over.

"Fuck Ana, that's some mouth you have on you" I grin and lick my lips again.

"You liked?"

"Liked? I loved that! I love you baby." He wraps his arms around me.

"Are you up for round two?" I see him practically salivating at the idea. "In the playroom?"

"Hmmm, it's been a while hasn't it. Why now Ana?" He asks

"I thought you might want to get today out of your system and be ready for tomorrow" he looks at me and nods pondering my words.

"No, I just want to make love to you tonight baby. Long and slow" I feel my mood drop.

"Okay." My head drops fractionally.

"Have I upset you baby?" He reaches out and pulls me into his arms.

"No, not really, it's just, oh I don't know, I feel weird, you know, about tomorrow. I know your going but I, I, can't. I'm sorry, I know you need me but, I didn't know the Mia you did. I knew the spiteful hate filled one that tried to kill me, that tried to tear your family apart, I thought that, well, it doesn't matter now." I scrub the angry tears out of my eyes.

"I understand baby. I have to go, you know that. I'm not speaking and I'm only going to the grave, I can't sit in a church and listen to people make out she was a saint. I did hope you'd be with me but I can still hear Kate echoing round my head, she wanted to kill you, both of you. I will never let that happen." I move out his arms and pull on a robe.

"Sorry for being a passion killer. I know you want me there but no. Just no. Don't try to guilt me in to it Christian." I stalk out of the room towards the large couch.

I plop down and turn on the tv. Christian doesn't follow me. Fuck! Maybe Mia will get her way in the end.

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long, I couldn't handle all the emotions and needed a break from this. Only Mia's funeral to go now, hopefully the end of the year will bring them some closure and possibly open a few new doors... Do you think Ana should go to the funeral?**

**Thanks as ever to my loyal reviewers/pm'ers/Twitter buddies, you are all exceptionally kind to me! To all my new followers hello! I do try to reply to all reviews and messages, if your a guest reviewer, thank you for all your reviews!**

**Anyway I suppose I should go get a jump on 41! Thanks for reading.**

**CarrieJ x**


	41. Forgiveness and Realisation

**Ana's POV**

I jump awake. I'm on the couch still and fuck my neck hurts. I scan the room to see why I woke, my eyes latch on to the large shadowy figure walking towards me. His grey eyes pierce through me, he doesn't seem to have registered I'm awake. He has a blanket draped over his arm as he approaches me. He leans down to cover me, I lie motionless, waiting for his next move. He sweeps his hand gently over my face swatting away the tendrils of hair that have fallen across it. He presses his lips to mine and I respond instantly, our connection is not something I have to think about. It's always there. Instant clarity fills me, I must go with him to the funeral as much as it pains me, he needs me by his side he's just too damn stubborn to tell me that he needs me.

I pull his hair and deepen our kiss my need for him is primal and with all the shit in our lives right now I need him close, no one can break us apart.

**Christian's POV**

How do I tell her I need her? I'm a selfish bastard that only thinks of himself. I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to, I totally understand her reasons too, I'm not a complete monster, I don't think. She shouldn't sleeping anywhere other than beside me though. I pull the blanket from the bottom of the bed and go in search off her. She's on the couch, her face is lit by the screen glow, she's sound asleep. She is so God damned beautiful, I stand in the doorway watching her. Her hair is spilling over her face obscuring her slightly. She steals my breath away. I notice a slight shiver caress her body. I flick the telly off and walk towards her slender sleeping frame. I place the blanket over her and notice her breathing picking up, she's awake. I gently brush her hair from her face and lean in for a kiss. I gently pour as much love as I can into the kiss. I realise in this perfect moment, as she kisses me back, that I need her much more than I need to go to the funeral. I don't need to rehash my past, I need to live for now and look into the future.

I feel Ana's hands twist into my hair and our connection is that strong I feel like no one can break us. I scoop her up and carry her masterfully back into our bedroom.

**Ana's POV**

I feel his strong arms wrap round me, protecting me, loving me. He takes me to our bedroom and places me on the bed. I see the carnal look in his eyes and know it's mirrored in my own. His hands run through my hair as he lies me down, then they roam posessively all over my body. My hips grind and gyrate under his ministrations. Our eyes lock onto each other, sizzling and burning with desire.

**Christian's POV**

I want to worship her body, it moves and responds to my touch exactly as I want it to. Her body burns with desire. Her eyes lock mine into a trance of desire and want. I pull her mouth to mine and fireworks explode all around us. I move to her breasts, pleasuring each one to the best of my ability, drawing long moans of ecstasy from her luscious lips. I nibble and kiss my way down to her pelvis. I thrust my fingers into her dripping wet core, exploring and invading her body. I press my tongue to her now throbbing clit, running circles round it and over it, I can feel her body shuddering, waiting, holding off her impending detonation.

**Ana's POV**

Oh I'm about to explode! I hold it of until his hands snake up my body and tug hard on my nipples, I go off like fourth of July fireworks, the sensations this man draws from my body are unsurpassed. I feel him sliding up my body. I roll on top of him and thrust him into me hard. I ride him hard and fast, like tomorrow is never coming and I need to feel everything tonight, for one last time. I'm pushed on to new heights by his calling of my name like a prayer he's offering up to the heavens, he's almost there, I press my lips to his pulling his moans into my mouth, I'm close myself. I push on harder and faster and feel myself tightening as I feel him throbbing hard. I can't hold on any longer, I call out as I come.

**Christian's POV**

She cries out loudly as she comes, I follow right behind her. Tonight is gonna be one I won't forget for a long time, yeah it was great sex, but more than that, it was healing, completing and loving.

"I love you Anastasia Steele"

"I love you too Christian Grey"

**A/N: Sorry it's a shortly but I felt I owed you a little update, juggling 3 stories and 4 kids is harder than I thought! Lol It also means I get to keep my baby a bit longer!**

**Review me please! Shout out to FSOG Girls, love you all. x x**

**Carrie x**


	42. A Final Farewell

**Ana's POV**

I awaken feeling too hot, I peel the covers from my sticky body and see the reason, my beautiful man is lying across my chest, his head reading in the valley between my breasts. I gingerly stroke my hand through his luscious hair. He lets out a small yawn of contentment.

"Are you awake?" I whisper. His head tilts back and his silver eyes stare at me. I run my hands over his face and try to press my lips to his, but it's an impossible angle, I press them to the top of his head.

"Morning baby" he says sleepily, stretching his arms out then tightly wrapping them around me.

"I need to pee." I gently nudge him off me.

"I'll wait here then" he flops onto his back "we can spend the whole day here, do a Yoko and John."

"You have to get up and dressed Christian! We will be late otherwise!" I shout from the throne.

"I'm not going, I'm spending the day with you." He shouts back at me. I quickly wipe and flush.

"Oh no your not! Well you are, but not here. We are going to your sisters funeral today. I just have to quickly call Kate then I'm getting ready and, if your the man I know you are, you will be too." I throw the cushion off the chair at him. "Get up! Now!"

"I can't go, I keep thinking about Kate and you and what she did..."

"Kate wants us there, she has sent flowers, she also has something she wants read out in church, I'm going to read it if the Skype connection cannot be made." He looks at me in horror.

"Kate is speaking at Mia's funeral? She's not well enough, she's pregnant, this is not happening, and let me assure you now Ana hell will freeze over before I let you utter a word." I can see his hands shaking as he holds the cushion.

"It's part of her therapy, your Mum and Dad know, she's with her therapist and Elliot will be with her too. I text her last night, when we argued, she got back to me and asked that we both attend, what she has to say is important and we all need to hear it so we can move on. Kate needs to do this to get herself closure, it's the least we can do isn't it? I have to do this for my best friend Christian! I need closure too, and if hearing or reading her words will do that for me then damn straight I'm gonna do it!" I could almost see the cogs of his brain turning mulling over my statements.

"I'll go for you Ana, I'd do anything for you. I'm not happy about Kate's coercion though. Not happy at all." He picked out his clothes and stormed into the bathroom. I ran up to the spare room and have a quick shower in there before pulling on my simple black jersey dress. I pull on my tights and slip on my blue _Louboutins. _IrefusetobeentirelyinblackbecauseI'mnotmourning. I leave my hair down but pull one side back in a large blue clip that matches my shoes. I pull on a blue cardigan and head back down towards the kitchen.

Mrs Jones is already there lurking.

"Mrs Jones" I nod politely

"Miss Steele" she replies back formally. I don't push her as she looks pretty rough. I'm guessing she has the hangover from hell today, it doesn't help matters that she looks like she's chewing on a wasp. I'm not in the mood for another fight today.

I wonder into the bedroom and find Christian sitting on the bed with very red puffy eyes.

**Christian's POV**

"I'm miss her, I know I should hate her, but I don't. She was ill, I hate what her illness and Elena drove her to, I hate that Scarlett won't know her mother, I hate a lot of things but I don't hate her. Am I a monster?"

I stare up into her gentle blue eyes.

"No, your a normal big brother, caught in a nightmare. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere. I will be beside you today and hold your hand and support you through your loss." She strokes my arms affectionately.

"I don't want you just for today. I need you for forever." I stand up and pull her to me. I need to feel her, I save the feeling like a memory and imprint it to my mind. She looks breath taking.

She takes my hand and leads me into the living area. I see Mrs Jones in the kitchen, looking sad and forlorn. I shout for Taylor and we leave and head towards the church and hopefully some closure to the last few hellish months.

When we pull up I see my Mom and Dad. Mom is crying and Dad is trying to comfort her as best he can. Bob and Carla are beside them with Scarlett. I lead Ana to my family.

"Christian!" Mom throws her arms around me and sobs. "I'm so glad you came." I feel myself getting emotional so I lead them inside, mother on my arm and Ana on my father's. The ceremony is short and the family are led into a small room where a computer has been set up. Kate is sitting on a comfy chair with a pronounced bump. We all file in and sit on the wooden folding chairs we have been provided with. Kate acknowledges us all then begins to speak.

**Kate's POV**

I sit fidgeting nervously. Waiting for them all to take their seats, Carrick and Grace at the front with Christian and Ana behind them then Mr and Mrs Steele.

"Hi everybody. Thank you for letting me do this, I don't have a lot to say but I need to say it." I take a deep breath and prepare myself to finally close the worst chapter of my life.

"I think you are all aware I was the last person to see Mia alive, and and I know you all think I mean psycho Mia, but I don't, I mean the _real _Mia. It was her, she fought her way out it was her that saved me. She took her own life in front of me and that's something I'm still dealing with, but before she did that, she gave me a message, that p until recently I'd locked away, it was a message for you all." I take a deep breath and close my eyes to recall her words.

"Tell them all I'm sorry" I whisper in a childlike way, the same as she had done, the vision plays on in my head in slow motion, I see her raise the gun to her temple, then nothing. I can feel the tears streaming down my face.

"She loved you all, she saved me, sorry us, to prove that. Please let her go to her grave in peace, she was ill and played upon. I wish I had known her before all this. I hope that her message brings you piece, I know that it has done so for Eli and myself. Goodnight Seattle, we all send our love."

The screen goes blank in front of me and I release my breath as a huge sob.

"Thank you for doing that Kate, you mean so much to me, you both do." Eli's arms slide round me, gently caressing my ever expanding bump.

"I did it because I had to Eli, not because I wanted to. I need this to be over now, no more Mia, no mention of 'the incedent' no talk of my 'ordeal' it's done, over, closed, fineto! It's buried along with that twisted weird bitch of a sister of yours okay?" My voice breaks and I cry properly for the first time since I came home, I sob until my eyes dry up. Elliot holds me and strokes my hair. I can see my therapist smile and nod, the condescending or at has been trying to make me cry since I came here. I feel myself drifting into a dreamless sleep, I look up at my loving fiancè and on the edge of sleep I whisper the prayer that has gotten me through.

"I love you Eli." I faintly hear him reply

"I love you too Kate."

**Christian's POV**

I sit staring at the now blank screen. Mia was sorry? My Mia. My baby sister.

I turn to Ana, I see the pain evident on her face and the streaks of mascara marking where her tears have trailed. She turns to face me and gives me a nod. I nod back. It's over, it's really over. Mia the tormentor and the tormented, is dead. My beautiful brave baby sister is away to lie in eternal peace in her grave, leaving behind her words of apology, bringing closure to us all.

**Ana's POV**

I feel numb, like the great big gaping wound has scabbed over but it's not closed, It will never close, it will leave a permanent scar on my life, I will never tell Christian, sometimes we all need an illusion to move on. I feel his eyes boring holes in me I turn to face him and give him a subtle nod, he gives me one back. I look around and everyone in the room is crying, I don't know if I am, I hope not, Mia has stolen more than enough from me. I want my life back, I'm done with this entire episode, I may not have gained closure, but I've gained something, I'm strong again. I will not let _anyone _close enough to hurt me again. I only need Christian.

**Christian's POV**

We skip the burial, I think we have both had more than enough for one day. We are about to leave when a young man hurries over to me.

"Mr Grey, sir, I need you to stay for the reading of your sisters will, and you too Miss Steele, I presume?"

"What will?" He holds up a small envelope.

"This will, your father, mother and baby Scarlett are also required to attend, I am led to believe Elliot Grey and Miss Kavanaugh are abroad, is that correct?"

"Yes" I answer tersely.

"I will contact them in due course then"

"They were on Skype, about five minutes ago, maybe we could get them back?" Ana almost whispered.

"That would be agreeable, I don't like delaying things."

"Who exactly are you? Which firm are you from and can you prove that this will is valid knowing, as we all do, that she was not of sound mind when she died?"

"Your father will be able to vouch for me as I work beside him. My name is Steve Thomkinson. This will was drafted while she was on medication and two doctors witnessed that she was of sound mind at the time of its drafting, her subsequent attempts at revision were rejected due to her mental state." I nod.

"Do we have to do this here? In the church?" Ana asked.

"It was Miss Grey's request." Mia and her strange ways.

We follow Steve inside to the small room we had not long since vacated. Kate and Elliot appeared large as life on the screen, both sporting large red bloodshot eyes, with puffy lids.

"Kate, Elliot, I didn't expect to see you again quite so soon."

"We were just about to head home, you were lucky to catch us." Elliot replied, Kate clinging securely to his arms, appearing to be a very different woman than she had been not even twenty minutes ago. We all sat in awkward silence as Mom and Dad were ushered in carrying Scarlett.

"Why are we here Steve?" Dad asked.

"I'm here to read out the last will and testimony of Miss Mia, Anabelle, Grey."

"Can we skip the formalities and jump to why the hell we are here please?" Elliot growled from the screen.

"Yes, I suppose we can. Mia's named executor is Mr Grey" everyone glanced at Carrick. "Mr Christian Grey"

"What? Why not my father? He's the best person to do this"

"I believe at the time of drafting Carrick was in hospital, gravely ill." He bows his head and continues reading. I zone out as its all crap I can do without hearing.

"To my mother and father I leave a letter, if they have passed at the time of reading the contents of the letter are to be read to my brothers. To my eldest brother Elliot I leave all of the furniture I have, as he made most of it anyway. To his wife Katherine, I leave all my clothes shoes and accessories and wish that we had been friends. To Anastasia Steele, I leave my most treasured possession, my child Scarlett, on the condition that Miss Steele accepts her as her own. Finally my brother Christian, I leave you everything else. All my worldly possessions, including all of the things contained within my five safety deposit boxes."

"What? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"This is no joke Mr Grey. Finally she wanted Miss Steele to read out a few words on her behalf."

**Ana's POV**

I stand to a chorus of "no"s and take the sheet from the lawyers hand.

"Dearest family, I hope you are all here, wait no, I don't. I hope I lived a long happy life, but I fear I did not. I lived a great many dark days, and regret most of the awful things I have done. My love for you all is limited only by your capacity to receive and even though I'm not there in person anymore, my love for you all will grow every day. Mom, Dad, I hope I've said everything I needed to I'm my letter, I ask that you keep it safe and show it to my daughter one day, this still applies if my letter was passed to you two louts I call brothers. Christian, you were my first love, my best friend, my mentor, my champion and my big brother, I could never have asked for better than you. Elliot, you were my playmate, my saviour (more than once), my eldest brother and I respected you every day. Kate you became a friend to me unexpectedly, I was programmed with hate and venom towards you, but you were strong and wore the bad voices away. I hope we became closer you were the sister I never had. Now I turn to Ana" I scan read on, drop the sheet as I fall to my knees. I feel Christian's arms wrap around me. I fumble for the paper and hand it to him. He continues where I left off

"Now I turn to Ana, she is the coldest person in this room, her heart is made of ice. I don't know what my brother sees in her. One thing I do know is that Christian is the happiest I've ever seen him when he's around her. She makes him glow, she fights for him and defends him against all foes, in the battle for my brothers heart, Ana has beaten all opponents. I want her to pass her strength, her spirit and even a tiny bit of her icy façade to my daughter, if I can't raise her Ana can. She has the strength, spirit and wisdom that I wish I'd had. I'm sorry this is so long and rambling but, I'm dead, I have stuff to say. Only a little bit left I promise. Christian, Elena is after you, she has been trying to get money out of GEH, she has several high level spies, in my deposit boxes you will find a paper trail leading you all the way to her, you taught me well big brother. I hope that you don't need this information and that I've said these words to you all myself, well maybe not you Ana, I'm not a psycho, I think you'd shoot me if I tried. I leave you with this, I'm sorry for all the wrong I've done, and I love you all dearly. Goodbye and God bless, Mia."

No one moves, no one utters a word. We are shrouded in silence as the words sink in. Scarlett lets out a cry, Grace holds her out to me.

"I can't, I won't."

"Ana, darling, she's yours." Grace coaxed.

"But Mum, Dad, they have adoption papers.." My mind flies off, I can't be a mother! Carrick interrupts me.

"Signed by a mad woman, at the height of her madness. The law will stand behind her will. She's yours Ana"

"No! I won't, I won't do it!"

"Legally, you are her guardian Miss Steele. I have the signed paperwork to prove it." Steve hands me some official documents.

"Your telling me I'm landed with a baby I don't want, by a woman I despise?"

"Ana" Christian takes my hand. "We will work this out okay?" I stare dumbly at him "okay?" I manage a small nod.

I sit on a chair and find myself literally, left holding the baby. This day has become a nightmare. Mum and Dad are ushered in to see the lawyer and Carrick, they explain the will and its contents, my mother collapses to the floor, sobbing and Dad just looks at me.

"I don't want her Mum, I want you to have her." I state. Mum looks at Carrick

"Is that possible?"

"Normally it is Mrs Steele, but this guardianship contract is iron clad, my client was very specific about that, she wants Ana to raise her daughter and it would take Ana being a convicted felon before that is even possible to change, even then my client has specified next in line to Ana, I'm sorry, there is no way round it." I choke back another sob.

"Christian, for God's sake do something, anything, to undo this!" I cry.

"His hands are tied, he cannot break the will, if he does the contents of the safety deposit boxes will be destroyed and the money she has put in trust for her child will go to a Mrs Elena Lincoln."

"I'll take the baby then." Everyone turns and gawps at me.

"Ana, you don't have to do this..." Christian's tone is slightly threatening.

"Yes I do, she _knew_ I'd do anything for you, she's still fucking with us from the grave. You need that paper trail, Elena can't get that money, and I have to hope that her ultimate test is one _we _don't fail"

"What test? Ana?"

I stand carrying my charge and stalk from the room leaving a behind a room full of goldfish impressionists.

**A/N: Hey guys! Another update, one of the final few, the strands are drawing together now, it's make or break time for my favourite pair, will their Chance Encounter lead to a Happily Ever after? Or a Surprise Ending? (Insert your own evil laugh here because I already know... Muhahaha!) I hope no one saw that coming, the final test by Mia Grey... (as for the legal stuff, I know nothing so used poetic license! I did think the adoption would fall through because of her mental state, that's just common sense!)**

**Anyway could you do me a HUGE favour and leave me a review? Pretty please?**

**Check out my two new stories too, one is a bit of a laugh A Day in the Life of Ana Grey and my more serious one Ana's New Roommate**

**Thank you for all your follows, favourites and reviews, till next time peeps **

**Carrie x x**


	43. The End

Ana's POV

I hold Scarlett close as I almost ran out of the room. The look on mums face nearly broke me but I have to do this! Christian is scampering behind me, I hear his quickened footfalls.

"Ana! Wait! What the hell are you doing? Have you thought this through?" He jumps into the car behind me. I can feel the hot tears streaming down my face.

"I didn't have a choice though did I? I have to save you and if that means having her too then so be it." I reach out and stroke his face, he nuzzles into my hand.

"Ana you are the most amazing person I've ever met." I feel his strong arms encircle my body.

"Can we just save your company first and get that pedich locked up for ever! Then look into how we can sort this mess out." I look down at Scarlett, she has cuddled into my chest and is slumbering lightly, I catch Christian staring at her too before uncomfortably looking away.

"Ana?"

"Yeah."

"What the hell is a pedich?"

"Oh come off it! I'm not gonna use the language I would like to use in front of the baby! First three letters of the first word and last three letters of the last word and none from the ones in between." He looks bemused by my explanation.

"Ana, we can't keep her you know, not permanently."

"I know, you'll have to get the best lawyers in the country on the case when we get home, until then we will muddle through."

"But in your..."

"No arguments MR Grey!"

"Fine MISS Steele!" Scarlett begins to fuss in my arms at the noise.

Christian's POV

We pull up at Escala just in time for the full blown wailing to begin. What the fuck do I do with a screaming baby? Why the hell would Mia do this? Ana seems to be taking everything in her stride, not even a wailing Scarlett has fazed her, I'm in awe of her. She really will be a great mom. We are in the main room of Escala and Gail has managed to get a pile of baby stuff, I can see a pack of pampers, some bottles of milk a couple of rattles and a small stack of little clothes. Gail has surpassed herself as usual!

"Thanks for getting that stuff so quickly Gail."

"No problem Mr Grey, we had some things in anyway." I see her flush at her inadvertent disclosure.

"Mrs Jones? Is everything okay?"

"Yes sir, there is nothing to worry about." I catch her sending a death stare to Taylor, who actually looks ashamed. She rushes away leaving me wondering what the hell all that was about.

"Taylor, a word please."

"I need to get access to the paper trail Mia left me, I want you on it now, I need you to get me to that lawyers office to get all the information I require. We will leave in ten minutes."

"Yes sir."

I turn and head to my bedroom to change into something more casual, I open the door and am confronted by a cloud of baby powder and an overwhelming smell of...

"She pooed! I can't get it all off, it's up her back its everywhere!" Ana flails her arms dramatically.

"Shit!"

"I can't do this!" She drops her head as big tears form in her eyes.

"Ana, you can, and you are!" I crouch down beside her, forcing her to look into my eyes. "Why don't you put her in the bath? That should get it off shouldn't it?"

"Your a frikkin genius!" She leans forward and plants a kiss on my head "I knew there was lots of reasons why I love you, I think I've just added another! Keep an eye on her" she jumps up and runs into the bathroom filling the tub with water. I sit staring at my niece.

"Hey baby." I stroke her plump little face, she gurgles and babbles baby noises at me. "So it looks like you could be stuck with us for a while baby, until we can get you back where you belong, eh toots?" She grins and lets out a small burp. "I wonder what your real daddy would make..." The solution hits me like a lightening bolt, fuck I'm a stupid bastard sometimes! "Ana! Ana! I know how to get her back where she belongs!"

"What? How?" She looks hot and bothered as she scoops up the now naked Scarlett and runs her into the bathroom. "Bring that mat and towel please Christian, and don't leave me hanging here!"

"Ethan" Ana's face erupts into a large infectious grin.

"Call my mum! My baby sister needs her mummy back!"

Ana's POV

I don't think I've ever felt better than the moment I handed Scarlett over to my mum. Her and Dad are staying here until Mia's will regarding Scarlett has been successfully contested by Ethan. Thank god for Ethan! We have the DNA results already so we all know he's the daddy, he wants mum and dad to keep her and Mia can't do anything about it!

Christian got all the documentation he needed to hang the the skank out to dry! Bye bye Elena Lincoln! Apparently the FBI or the CIA are after her too, she will be going down for a very very long time, charges of fraud, embezzlement, money laundering and apparently charges for running a brothel for the mob/mafia or what ever the big bad drug lords are called round here, I don't wanna know, I just wish I'd got to kick her arse first! Christian practically dragged me onto his jet home to Scotland for our new year spectacular. All the Greys, Kavenaughs and Steeles made it to Christians special party at my Castle!

As the clock struck midnight we were alone in the secret garden, Christian dropped to one knee and held out the biggest rock I've ever seen in my life, it must have cost a small, or probably not so small, fortune!

"Ana, you came into my life when I was just picking myself up, trying to piece myself back together, you helped me do that. Without you there is a piece missing right here" he placed his hand over his heart "you make me whole, you are my world, my heart and my soul. I can't imagine my life without you. So what I'm trying to say is Anastasia Steele will you make me the happiest man in the universe and agree to marry me?"

**A/N: So there you have it, the end! It's probably gonna get a sequel at some point but not right now. My first baby is complete! Eeeeeeek! Thank you to all my followers, favourites and reviewers and everyone else that has read it. I'm sad it's over :( **

**Again thank you all**

**Carri x**


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